Deathbeds

Oliver set up the sofa made it comfortable to sleep on, but he still couldn’t sleep he was running things over in his head. How does he feel about Lacie, he knows he loves her but could he put her through everything again, does she even like him. He heard someone moving around and decided to look up he saw Lacie stood next to the sofa. He mentions for her to sit down.

OLIVER

“Hey, are you comfortable enough sleeping on here?”

“This is find honestly love. I just can’t sleep”

“Is there anything I can get you to help?”

“You’re just enough”

I see her cheeks turn slightly red I start grinning.

“Shut up”

“What if I don’t?”

She shrugs her shoulders

“So why are you still up then Lace?”

I hoped it was for the same reason I am.

“I needed to get a drink”

“And now you’re going to have to stay up and talk to me”

“I could easily just go to bed”

“But then you wouldn’t be looking after your guest very well”

“That is true”

I could hear the sarcasm rise in her voice.

“Oh well, I’ll just have to be a bad host then”

She stood up to leave but I took her wrist gently, I’ve never really taken her arms in before and my eyes start to look up I catch something, something I’d hope to never see on her. She takes her arm back and smiles down at me.

“Are you okay Lace?”

“I’m okay Oli, I just want to go to bed”

“Please stay up and talk to me, I want to know everything about you, including what you’ve done to yourself”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t try to play dumb with me you know, I’m smarter than that.”

“It’s done Oliver; I haven’t done it for over two years. I’m fine now honestly”

I wanted to believe her but I don’t think I could. I felt my heart break a little bit.
“Just stay and talk to me please”

“Fine, but I don’t want to get to personal okay?”

“I promise, just tell me why?”

“Okay, so after you left and don’t for one second think this is your fault okay? I don’t want you to feel bad. Anyway so after you left me, I just couldn’t cope everything was falling down around me, my parents started treating me like a fucking slave having to do everything they wanted or I’d be kicked out, then I lost everyone all my friends left. If I wasn’t with you then they didn’t want me, you were the most popular guy in school and I was just no one, so when we broke up everyone realised that and left me. I couldn’t catch my breath most days. I just didn’t want to live anymore I started harming myself over and over to the point some nights I couldn’t stop, I’d started making them really deep just to see how far I could get until one night I got rushed to hospital I’d taken an overdose and cut my arm most of the way down ended up hitting an archery, when I got home my parents said they wanted me out because they couldn’t deal with me anymore and that’s how I became homeless at 16-17 but I started working in that coffee shop and now I have my feet back on the ground, it just took a few years to get here”

I looked at the strong girl sat in front of me, all this she had to go through was caused by me, I knew that but she’d never admit it. I never realised what she had to go through.

“You’re so strong you know that? Most people who have been through that wouldn’t be able to come back like you did. I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry that it happened to you.”

She just looked at me she laid down behind me I turned around to face her, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head and brought her as close as I could to me, I took the blankets from the floor and wrapped it around us. Maybe I could get some sleep this time.

I knew now that I had to protect her from anything bad, even if that was herself.
I loved her.


LACE

I woke up to light snoring and arms wrapped around me, I knew it was Oli but I was a little bit taken back by him. I took his arms away and slowly got up, I headed staright for the kitchen I had to do something for him as he’s been so good to me.

As I had finished making breakfast I felt a pair of arms wrap around me I smiled to myself.

“Smells almost as good as you”

“Again with the flirting Oli”

“Hey I’m just being truthful darling”

“Go sit down and eat, I need to get ready”

“What about your food?”

“I’ll get something whilst I’m at work.”

“Find but I’m going to check that”

“Do what you want”

He poked his tongue out and I ran into my room, choosing the right outfit for today.

I wanted something Light, it was hot out today, being the middle of summer in England we don’t expect weather like this but luckily I had enough summer clothes to last me a lifetime. I walk out of my room having done my hair and makeup. I look at Oliver as he looks at me.

“You look good”

“Thanks”

I shrug his compliment off, although I could feel myself starting to love him again. I know I didn’t want this but I could feel my heart racing every time he looks at me or touches me. Every time he spoke I found it hard to come up with words. The love I felt for him never went away I just buried it for years.

I hand Oli the keys.

"please look after the place. Try not to break anything and lock up when you leave."

“I’ll be almost right behind you anyway, I need my coffee fix”

“You know I do own coffee here right?”

“Yeah but it’s not the same when you don’t make it”

Oli winked at me.


“I’ll see you in a bit”

I walked out of the apartment wearing a smile, it felt strange to be so happy, but I was. Finally something good had happened to me. I walked to work because I was early but I had to get out of there anyway, I couldn’t take anymore flirty jokes from him.

As I arrived I saw Matt stood outside. My smile faulted a little bit.

“Morning Matt”

“Good morning Lace, where’s your boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?”

“Well he didn’t come home last night so I’m guessing he stayed at yours am I correct?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Because I don’t want to see you hurt again”

“He’s not going to hurt me”

I opened the shop door and walked in, Matt following me.”

“We’re not open yet Matt”

“I’m not here for coffee.”

“Then what do you want because I need to work”

“He’s going to hurt you again; he’s only being so close with you to get rid of his own guilt. That’s it. He doesn’t love you and never has. I don’t see why you’re keeping him around. He's never cared for you the reason he got with you in the first place was to piss me off because I wanted you and I still do, Oli can only be with someone like Katlyn. He doesn't know what love is"

I felt anger rise up I tried to ignore his harsh words but I knew they were true. I believed everything he told me.

The worse feeling is that I let Oli back in to my life I told him things I've never shared with anyone.

I saw Cass walk in, as I ran out nearly knocking someone over, I kept running until I was met with my front door only to realise I didn't have any keys. I sat on the step just outside and let all the feelings leave .

OLIVER

As I walked into Lacey's work she ran out almost knocking me down. I noticed Matt, looking happy with himself as he left. I walked behind him until we were out of sight from the shop. I took him but the scuff of his neck.

"What have you said to her?"

"Only the truth."

"Yeah and what is the truth?"

"That you've never loved her and you just feel guilty"

"You've ruined everything. I love her Matt she's the first person I want to see when I wake up and the last person I want to see at night"

"Until the next one"

"There won't be a next one"

By this point I let Matt go, I jumped into my car knowing she wanted going to get far without her

NO ONES POINT OF VEIW.

As he gets out of his car he notices her small figure sat outside he feels something in his chest, he couldn't put a name to it.

He walks straight up to the step and picks the small girl up as he unlocks the door, he takes her straight to her bedroom and lays her down. They didn't utter a word to each other as Oli leaves the room with his head in his hands.

He didn't know what to do and how to make this right, but he was going to try his hardest he loves her.

He's never felt to helpless he's supposed to protect her not hurt her.

Lace can't stop crying something inside her finally broke, maybe it was Oli maybe it was the crushing truth she already knew.
Either way she had to stop all contact and maybe even start again somewhere new, somewhere he couldn't get to her.

OLIVER
My head was all over the place I had no idea what to say to the girl I fell in love with. How was I supposed to say that everything Matt said was a lie, she didn't trust me enough to believe the truth. She opened up to me and I've let her down.

I leave her alone for about 10 minutes to let myself calm down I was still reeling with anger after what Matt had done. I knocked on her door and didn't wait for an answer.

She was throwing things into a bag she looked broken, I can't believe I've done this to her, I've caused her all this pain.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing Oli?"

Her words were cold and full of sadness

"What are you planning on doing? Running away? How is that going to help?"

"I can't be near you. All you've done to me is cause me pain"

"I haven't caused any of this"

I slowly took a step towards her and get her to look at me"

"I love you! And only you, I don't know what Matt told you but it's you who I want no one else"

I pulled her to my chest she kept fighting with me pushing me away.

"Stop lace, please I'm not letting you go"

She collapsed into my body she had finally broke.

"Lacie please talk to me"

"I just don't want this anymore, I want a normal life with a normal boyfriend and a normal family, I can't catch a break. I'm working in a job that I hate and probably about to get fired because that's the 3rd time I've walked out this week. Then what do I do? No money means no house no house means no food I can't live on the streets again, I just can't"

I wasn't sure if she wanted to tell me all of that, everything that's been going on in her head she's finally told me.

"Normal would be boring, why would you want a normal boyfriend? You'd get bored. Hey I would never ever let you live back out on the streets okay? It's just not going to happen. Not when I'm around! I'm here to help you I've always been here. I'm so sorry for always letting you down, I know I've fucked up but I'm in love with you. I can't stop thinking about you and I haven't stop since the day I walked away. I can't sleep without knowing that you are okay! I need you"

"Please don't okay? I don't need your pity. It's over I forgive you, you don't have to feel guilty anymore. Now things can go back to reality, me and you aren't friends Oli, I don't love you."

I felt myself break into a million pieces Lacie walked away and towards her front door.

"Just go! I don't want to see your face any more. Don't come round here telling me all that crap again"

"It's not fucking crap! I don't pity you, why would I put so much effort into this If it was just to stop me from feeling guilty, when that's what I deserve. If you want me to leave then fine, but I'll still be around you every chance I get"

She didn't say one more word as I left her apartment.

As I entered my car I tears fell down my face I started hitting the steering wheel, I couldn't control this any more.

Notes