Deathbeds
There's Something I'm Keeping That's Lost All Its Meaning
Oliver
It had been two weeks since I first saw her. I had been coming to the coffee shop as much as possible in the two weeks avoiding my band and my girlfriend but mainly just trying to gather up the courage to go and talk to her. I had never felt so lost for words. I wasn't sure what I was meant to say. Sorry meant nothing, it had been too long to start with that, but I knew I had to say it. Every time I walk in here she does everything possible to avoid me, this hurt. She couldn't even serve me. I had noticed she takes a break around 11 till 12 just before the lunch rush hour and her work colleague goes out the back whilst Lacie stays round the front turning the open sign to closed and sitting down taking a window spot. I always watch her silently sip her coffee every now and then picking her phone up to send a text. She never once looks over towards me.
Today was my day, today was the day I was going to talk to her. I have to. I have to make her understand. it was 10:58 only a few more minutes till I have to talk to her. I let out a sigh I had no idea I had been holding in. It was shaky. Was I really ready to do this. 10:59 I heard the door ring out and I watched as Matt walked through it. Taking a seat directly opposite me.
"What are you doing here again Oli?"
"Drinking coffee as always"
"You're a bad liar. Look don't do this, it could be the biggest mistake, she hates you Oli she doesn't want anything to do with you. Just drop this, your girlfriend misses you."
"I have to do this Matt I have no choice, I need to say sorry to her. I want her to understand. You've ruined this for me once please don't do it again"
"I'm trying to help you Oli. She's just going to let you down"
"I don't care Matt. Please just leave you've caused enough damage"
"Whatever buddy. If you need me i'll be at home"
"Fine"
Matt stood up and left leaving me with two choices. Follow him or get up and talk to her.
Lacie
For the past two weeks I had gotten used to Oliver coming here to get his coffee fix, he still made me nervous though. I could feel his eyes on me all the time. Even when we closed to shop for a break he didn't get up to leave. He would stay in here from 10 till 1 he only ever drank two coffees he managed to make them last. I wish he would just go. It still hurts seeing him here everyday. You were over four years ago Lacie, get over him already! He's got over you. I knew my voice was right. I should be over him but how can I when he taught me what love really was. He opened me up and then threw me in to a pile of dirt. I had to remember I had a boyfriend who I was into.
It was almost time to take my break when I heard the bell ring out, I sighed for a second turning around with a fake smile on my face only to find it was Matt who wasn't even here for coffee but he was here to get Oliver to leave, not that he would. He never does. I walk out the back clocking out for my break wondering whether to lay low and stay here today or go out the front and ignore Oli.
I still walked out to the shop front turning the sign around. I glanced over at Matt and Oliver who looked like they were having a serious talk before Matt got up and left. I walked over and made my self a coffee and make an extra one he looked like he was in deep thought as I was walking over to him and putting a coffee down in front of him.
"It's on me"
He went to pull out his wallet I shook my head and went and sat in my own seat in the corner of the shop.
"Thanks Lace"
It was the first thing he's said to me in 4 years. I wasn't sure what to do. I felt my heart race a bit. He didn't even turn to look at me. He stayed staring at his drink.
"Can I please pay for my own?"
Why is he starting a conversation. I didn't mean this. I gave him it because he looked like he was struggling.
"No. Please don't I get as many coffees as I want for free, so drink away"
"Thank you again."
This time he got up looking directly at me he started walking over towards the table I was sat at.
"Do you mind if we talk?"
I couldn't say anything I gave him a gesture for him to take the seat. I felt a bit of anger rise up in me as he took a seat. His eyes studying mine, like he was trying to read me.
"Lace.."
"Don't Oliver please. I don't want to hear the words sorry come out of your mouth"
He looked shocked.
"Please let me try to explain?"
"There's nothing to explain Sykes. You left me when I needed you most. That's it there's nothing else to it."
"Do I not get to explain why?"
"You missed that chance"
"I never got that chance. I thought you had gone Lace. The guys told me you had left Sheffield to the minute school was over to start college somewhere else, I didn't even know you were still here. You work round the corner from me and I didn't even realize it. Do you know how long I've waited to explain to you?"
"What does it matter? It's been four years. Shouldn't we be over a little high school fling."
"We weren't just a fling and you know that full well."
"That's all I was to you though wasn't it?"
"Not for one second"
"It was so easy for you to leave me! you just walked out and never spoke to me again"
"I felt bad every day since. I was horrible. I was stupid Lacie, but I had no choice"
"Why not? What was so important that you just had to leave?"
He pulled his chair so it was next to me facing me
"The band Lacie they told me that you were going to be leaving how could I look after you if you had left? I had a band I wouldn't be around a lot, I wasn't good enough for you, you deserved someone better someone who could help you. I wasn't that person."
He put a hand to my face and gently moved his thumb I looked at him. He look sad he looked like he was hurting too.
"I'm so sorry baby"
That was it I stood up and shouted to my colleague I was going home. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't be near him, he said the exact same thing the day he left me. After everything we just spoke about he has to ruin it. I felt tears coming down my cheeks I heard Oli call out for me but I just kept on walking. I was not going to do this.
Oliver
I had lost her again.
It had been two weeks since I first saw her. I had been coming to the coffee shop as much as possible in the two weeks avoiding my band and my girlfriend but mainly just trying to gather up the courage to go and talk to her. I had never felt so lost for words. I wasn't sure what I was meant to say. Sorry meant nothing, it had been too long to start with that, but I knew I had to say it. Every time I walk in here she does everything possible to avoid me, this hurt. She couldn't even serve me. I had noticed she takes a break around 11 till 12 just before the lunch rush hour and her work colleague goes out the back whilst Lacie stays round the front turning the open sign to closed and sitting down taking a window spot. I always watch her silently sip her coffee every now and then picking her phone up to send a text. She never once looks over towards me.
Today was my day, today was the day I was going to talk to her. I have to. I have to make her understand. it was 10:58 only a few more minutes till I have to talk to her. I let out a sigh I had no idea I had been holding in. It was shaky. Was I really ready to do this. 10:59 I heard the door ring out and I watched as Matt walked through it. Taking a seat directly opposite me.
"What are you doing here again Oli?"
"Drinking coffee as always"
"You're a bad liar. Look don't do this, it could be the biggest mistake, she hates you Oli she doesn't want anything to do with you. Just drop this, your girlfriend misses you."
"I have to do this Matt I have no choice, I need to say sorry to her. I want her to understand. You've ruined this for me once please don't do it again"
"I'm trying to help you Oli. She's just going to let you down"
"I don't care Matt. Please just leave you've caused enough damage"
"Whatever buddy. If you need me i'll be at home"
"Fine"
Matt stood up and left leaving me with two choices. Follow him or get up and talk to her.
Lacie
For the past two weeks I had gotten used to Oliver coming here to get his coffee fix, he still made me nervous though. I could feel his eyes on me all the time. Even when we closed to shop for a break he didn't get up to leave. He would stay in here from 10 till 1 he only ever drank two coffees he managed to make them last. I wish he would just go. It still hurts seeing him here everyday. You were over four years ago Lacie, get over him already! He's got over you. I knew my voice was right. I should be over him but how can I when he taught me what love really was. He opened me up and then threw me in to a pile of dirt. I had to remember I had a boyfriend who I was into.
It was almost time to take my break when I heard the bell ring out, I sighed for a second turning around with a fake smile on my face only to find it was Matt who wasn't even here for coffee but he was here to get Oliver to leave, not that he would. He never does. I walk out the back clocking out for my break wondering whether to lay low and stay here today or go out the front and ignore Oli.
I still walked out to the shop front turning the sign around. I glanced over at Matt and Oliver who looked like they were having a serious talk before Matt got up and left. I walked over and made my self a coffee and make an extra one he looked like he was in deep thought as I was walking over to him and putting a coffee down in front of him.
"It's on me"
He went to pull out his wallet I shook my head and went and sat in my own seat in the corner of the shop.
"Thanks Lace"
It was the first thing he's said to me in 4 years. I wasn't sure what to do. I felt my heart race a bit. He didn't even turn to look at me. He stayed staring at his drink.
"Can I please pay for my own?"
Why is he starting a conversation. I didn't mean this. I gave him it because he looked like he was struggling.
"No. Please don't I get as many coffees as I want for free, so drink away"
"Thank you again."
This time he got up looking directly at me he started walking over towards the table I was sat at.
"Do you mind if we talk?"
I couldn't say anything I gave him a gesture for him to take the seat. I felt a bit of anger rise up in me as he took a seat. His eyes studying mine, like he was trying to read me.
"Lace.."
"Don't Oliver please. I don't want to hear the words sorry come out of your mouth"
He looked shocked.
"Please let me try to explain?"
"There's nothing to explain Sykes. You left me when I needed you most. That's it there's nothing else to it."
"Do I not get to explain why?"
"You missed that chance"
"I never got that chance. I thought you had gone Lace. The guys told me you had left Sheffield to the minute school was over to start college somewhere else, I didn't even know you were still here. You work round the corner from me and I didn't even realize it. Do you know how long I've waited to explain to you?"
"What does it matter? It's been four years. Shouldn't we be over a little high school fling."
"We weren't just a fling and you know that full well."
"That's all I was to you though wasn't it?"
"Not for one second"
"It was so easy for you to leave me! you just walked out and never spoke to me again"
"I felt bad every day since. I was horrible. I was stupid Lacie, but I had no choice"
"Why not? What was so important that you just had to leave?"
He pulled his chair so it was next to me facing me
"The band Lacie they told me that you were going to be leaving how could I look after you if you had left? I had a band I wouldn't be around a lot, I wasn't good enough for you, you deserved someone better someone who could help you. I wasn't that person."
He put a hand to my face and gently moved his thumb I looked at him. He look sad he looked like he was hurting too.
"I'm so sorry baby"
That was it I stood up and shouted to my colleague I was going home. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't be near him, he said the exact same thing the day he left me. After everything we just spoke about he has to ruin it. I felt tears coming down my cheeks I heard Oli call out for me but I just kept on walking. I was not going to do this.
Oliver
I had lost her again.
Notes
I'm not sure if this is good.
I wanted to get another chapter up.
Thanks to KellyRages and Piercingirlisash for your comments
-Kay
p.s Lacie's outfit
Lol well I'm glad he's okay.
Ik it was too good to hope they started getting close. They gave things to work out and she doesn't trust him. But I hope they can be happy eventually, or at least not let this drag them down
1/7/16