What Happens In Vegas

I think I started to disappoint my family at age nine, when I set my sister's ball gown on fire during some fancy social event at the estate. And after each "incident," nobody thought I could do anything that much worse.

Then I woke up next to this tattooed, scrawny guy in Vegas named Mike with a ring on my finger, a marriage certificate in my hand, and a head pounding from what was probably one hell of a night.
Gran is going to kill me.

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My new baby now I have more time. Will this story be updated every day? It's unlikely. Will it be funny? Duh. Will it be kinda serious too? Marriage is serious folks, getting hitched in Vegas isn't all fun and games.

Check out my other stories - the ones listed as humour are supposedly good. Enjoy!

1. Hangovers

   "After I set my sisters ball gown on fire at age nine I've been disappointing her. Whether it was throwing up over the Duke, crashing my dad's classic car or sneaking on someone's yacht, I've found a way."

2. Un-divorces

   "He probably forced me. He held a knife to my back as I said I do. It wouldn't surprise me, just look at him. He most likely has a whole collection of knives in his house. Body bags too."

3. Note

4. Fans

   "I'm still completely in the dark as to why on earth Mike is being mobbed. And by teenage girls at that. They're all small, loud and apparently called Rebecca from what I've seen."

5. Homecomings

   "Tequila and regret. That was what was on my tongue my first day as a married woman."

6. Idiots

   "I sometimes wonder if my parents dropped me as a child. Perhaps off of a ten story building."

7. Cheaters

   "One time I fed Liz's pet hamster cherry vodka and it woke up the next morning with a hangover."

8. Liars

   "V is cheating on Andrew with a cholo!"

9. Zoos

   "If I were them I'd be there too, eagerly looking and laughing at the daft mare who got married in Vegas."

10. Husbands

    "My Aunt Sylvia had more sense than me. And she had a breakdown two years ago at a garden party, throwing bottles of spring water and canapé's at my Gran before the men in the white jackets came to take her away. There was smoked salmon and caviar everywhere."

11. Goodbye

12. Note