What Happens In Vegas

Now things aren't that bad. All I need is perspective. Am I pregnant? No. Am I being stalked? Not that I know of. Am I dying? I hope not. I'm just married. Granted, not to the person I'd like to be married to. But things could be worse. I just need to find a way to hold up the wedding for a while. There must be a way. I can do this.

"That really isn't your colour." Gran said in my ear. Oh for fuck sake. You'd think I was wearing a mud brown garbage bag. It's Yves Saint Laurent. It cost $1300. I think she'd critique my wedding dress. In fact she did. At least I don't have a perm.

"It's a good thing you're not wearing it." I smiled widely.

"I am the one paying, Violet!" Gran exclaimed.

"Actually no. You said you'd pay for mine, not for Vi's." Liz butted in. This sums up my childhood.

"Well, we need to make you look perfect Elizabeth. Violet has already caught a man in her clutches."

"Caught a man in my clutches." I echoed. It's a shame you can't leave one family behind when you marry into another. I'd quite like a Christmas without Gran telling Liz how beautiful she looks while she tells me not too eat all the turkey because I'm going to balloon. One slice of turkey never hurt anyone.

"Why don't you go look for me and I'll make sure Vi gets something nice?" Liz rushed.

"Good idea." Gran smiled and walked away somewhere. Hopefully far far away.

"So," Liz said linking her arm with mine. "What happened in Vegas?"

"Beats me." I shrugged.

"Don't you remember anything?"

"Bits and bobs, you know." I shrugged. The bits being my boobs and the bobs being Mike's nob.

"There's something you're not telling me." she narrowed her eyes. "You got up to something not good in Vegas."

"Did I now?" I folded my arms across my chest angrily.

"Yes, come on Vi," Liz groaned. "I won't tell anyone."

"Yeah right." I mocked.

"So you did do something bad!" she declared. "You just admitted it."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes.

"Did any guys hit on you?" Sadly.

"No." I scoffed.

"Did you hook up?"

"Don't be so ridiculous!" She's getting closer.

"That underwear set you took was to die for. Especially the bra."

"I know, I left it at his-"

"Ha! You did hook up!"

"That wasn't fair." I huffed.

"What was his name?"

"I'm not telling you." I said lazily as I searched through the racks.

"I'll find out eventually."

"Will you now?" I laughed.

"Is he a lawyer? A writer?"

"You're talking about him like I'm not engaged." I reminded her.

"Is he in money? I hear Adam Bailey has a place in Vegas."

"It wasn't Adam Bailey."

"Good, he has herpes."

"Really?" I widened my eyes.

"Yeah, so if it was him I think we should go to a clinic."

"I already said it wasn't."

"Come on, all I'm looking for is a name."

"Fine!" I yelled with defeat. "Mike. His name is Mike."

"Mike who?" I honestly couldn't pronounce his surname even if I wanted to.

"I don't know."

"Well was he cute? Was he blonde with windswept hair?"

"You're taking this surprisingly well." I noted.

"Well?" Liz urged.

"He was Mexican so no, not blonde." I explained.

"A Latino!" she gasped. "That's so racey."

"You're single. You should be having the racey sex life."

"No, I couldn't," she giggled. "Gran would make Dad block me from the account." Oh shit, I never even considered that.

"And me?"

"They're used to you." Liz waved her hand dismissively. "So what does he do?"

"He's . . ." I need to choose my words carefully. "He's a musician."

"So exotic!" she gasped.

"Not really." I rolled my eyes.

"Imagine if Gran knew. She'd tell Dad. Imagine if Andrew knew."

"Shut up. I'm shopping." I muttered.

"It's so daring."

"Doesn't everyone hook up before they get married?" I asked hopefully.

"At their hen party, if they're cheaters like you." Maybe if I killed Liz in cold blood that would prolong the engagement.

"I'm not a cheater." I snapped.

"You hooked up with another man while yours was at home. I think that makes you a cheater." Liz said.

I'd never really looked at things like that. I mean this how I've always been. Not sleeping around, I'm not one of those girls. But I've always been unpredictable. Giving my shoes away at parties as a peace offering, getting a tattoo on my boob and the like. One time I fed Liz's pet hamster cherry vodka and it woke up the next morning with a hangover. I knew that I'd cheated on Andrew. But I didn't know that I was a cheater. It's such a dirty word. It makes me sound so cheap and vile.

But even worse, what if Mike has a girlfriend. What if he just didn't tell me and he's really in a long term committed relationship. She could find out and they could break up. Then I would be a cheater and a home wrecker. Mike's crazy, deranged, angry ex girlfriend could Google me, find out my address and come to murder me. This could happen. Then I would be dead and she would hopefully go to jail. I bet she'd fit in, she's probably black haired, tattooed from head to toe and can speak fluent Spanish. I wouldn't even be able to have a funeral because she'd chop by body up, ship me to Mexico and hide my arms and legs in different cities. I can just picture it now. Although this would solve the problem of holding up the wedding. I'll have to text Mike later.

Notes

Hey! Wow, it's been a while. I'm so sorry! Things have been so crazy. My book is now out for pre order. Just go to here and if you write in a note at checkout you're from here I'll include extra goodies. It has tons of wise words from some talented, inspiring people like Brittany Mullins, Welly Llewellyn, Zara Khalique, Christine Errington, Cherry Dollface, Sugarbones and Koko Brill. Go do that and I'll love you forever and you'll be in the loop for my next book too!

One of the reasons I haven't updated too is I questioned if I wanted to write about Pierce The Veil anymore. Last week I spent some time talking to Welly through DM on instagram and basically having a gossip about Vic Fuentes. She shared some things will me that made me think, damn do I actually want to write about these people. Nothing bad, so send her no hate. I just made me think. Welly is a total sweetheart and none of the 'she hates Vic' rumours are true.

Ive also been falling back into old habits. If you've been following my stories since the Drella days you'll know what I mean.

Anyway, now you're all updated with my goings on what did you think? Was this okay? What would you like to see? Favourite line? xoxo