Suggestion: Put on Therapies by All Time Low and Snuff by Slipknot to listen while reading.
"Are you going to be okay?" Sara asked me. The final bell had rung moments ago and my best friend had walked me out to my locker. I nodded, staring at a fixed point in my boring locker. The crowds maneuvered around me.

"Yeah, i'll be fine." I lied. She saw through it though. I placed my books in my locker and stood up. My pack was light today. There was no homework for me to worry about through Spring Break. This way I could focus on the good of going to California. This Thursday afternoon lolled on, lazily taking its time to pass. At least I had the rest of the afternoon to relax.

"Well, you have my number. I'll try to make it tomorrow. Have a fun time in California with Austin. Seriously, I can't believe you two are together." She babbled on. I waved to her as she walked in the direction of the buses. I started my slow walk down the cement path on the side of our school. The trees hung over in an effort to provide shade to the walkers underneath. A few leaves littered the cool grey path.

The funeral was tomorrow. I couldn't stop thinking about it. She didn't need to die this early. My grandma was a fighter, but the monster was to strong inside of her. I wish I could change that moment that she left us. It tore me apart like a hurricane.

I reached the end of the walk where a few students stood in excited huddles. Kids were cheering from all sides of the lot. I pulled out my phone to call my mom to pick me up. I looked up to a familiar car.

Ryker stood across the lot, leaning nonchalantly against his car. He smiled and lifted a hand in a wave before motioning me over. Careful of passing reckless teenagers behind the wheel, I managed to cross the street and meet him.

"Hey." He said. I squinted my eyes and looked around. How did he know I was here?

"So did you just guess the right high school I went to?" I asked him curiously. He shrugged.

"I figured since I overheard you talk to one of the cashiers about it, you might go here." He winked. His hair was gelled up, but it didn't disguise the fact that he looked like he didn't have enough sleep.

"Oh. You look tired. Are you okay?" I asked him. He turned his head away for a moment, hesitating a second and biting his lip.

"I just have some sleep issues sometimes." He responded. I shrugged. We all had that.

"Do you think you could give me a ride home?" I asked him. Ryker smiled brightly and nodded, before running to his side of the car, jumping it. I slung my black backpack into my lap and buckled my own seat belt.

After a few minutes, we arrived safe and sound at my house. He parked the car and stared at me for a moment.

"Somethings wrong." He cocked his head to the side. I twisted away to open the door, not wanting to push my burdens on another person. Ryker was quicker than I. The door was locked and he had a hand on my arm. I scowled at him.

"Nothings wrong." I stated. His eyebrow raised to argue but instead he rolled up my sleeve.

"Rae, these say something different." He traced the one little line of where I had dragged my nails against my skin to make me bleed a few nights ago. The angry red lines of the welts had pretty much disappeared, but this one refused to go away.

I didn't speak. He wordlessly traced the line over and over, occasionally studying my face. I refused to let any tears out. I had cried enough for her. It was over and done.

"Rae, what happened?" He asked, a bit kinder this time. I turned to face him. Those blue eyes went soft again.

"Grandma died." My voiced cracked in a whisper. He rubbed my arm to console me, but didn't speak. I silently thanked him for that. I didn't have to let my voice crack again.

"I'm sorry about that." He whispered. I shrugged.

"It happens." I replied. He unlocked the car and got out.

"Rae." He stopped me in my tracks. I caught the door before it slammed down.

"Call me if you need anything." He told me. I nodded, thanking him for the ride, and then turned to get my house. Although it was a sweet gesture, I was already texting Austin about it as set down my backpack.

---

The next morning, I found myself in a black dress with a shrug to match. Friday, and I was spending it at funeral. Although not my choice of way to spend my time, I needed to say goodbye for the final time.

It was so hard, so looming to say goodbye to your family member for the last time. It wasn't like leaving their house, knowing you'll be able to return soon. No, this was leaving for good. This was looking down to them, saying goodbye and that you love them, but never seeing their face again, only their memories.

But what was worse, I would be looking down at the face of a possible fate for my mother. My mom was already puffy red in tears, dealing with the same monster inside of her that slew my grandma.

In ten, twenty, thirty years, would I look down once again, but see the face of my mother?

Or would it be later? Or would it be sooner?

I couldn't bear the thoughts. As soon as the funeral started, I was already in tears. I couldn't help but think, I had lost a few members to old age, but I hadn't known them as closely as my grandma. She was the one who embarrassed me in front of my friends, but I loved her anyways.

Was she happy? She probably is. She was in a better place, or at least that's what I kept telling myself. Grandma is happy, cancer free, and at peace. The pastor started a prayer at this point in the sermon. I bowed my head, folding my hands and tried to focus on the words.

All I could think of was, Mitch, please take care of her for me. She might not be into deathcore, but you know, she'd probably like another friend up wherever you are. I repeated this thought over and over, but couldn't help and smile. I tried to imagine sweet Mitch Lucker, trying to talk to my grandma.

"What are all those tattoos for?" She would grumble. He pointed at the owl tattoo on his chest.

"Well this one's for my daughter-" He started but would be cut off with my grandma's grumbling.

"Why do you young boys go ruining your body with this ink?!" She would exclaim. Mitch was probably laughing as well.

"It's something that's meaningful to us. It takes on something different for every person." Mitch would explain to my ornery grandma.

I felt bad for poor old Mitch at that point, but this made me smile. We all stood up to say our last goodbyes before we buried her. When it was my turn, I found myself one of the last to touch her shining casket and leave.

"Goodbye, grandma. Have a good time, wherever you are. I love you." I barely managed a whisper as I gently touched the casket. Backing away, I joined the rest of the mourners.

We all started to slowly gravitate towards the back of the cemetery. There was a small tent with drinks and food under it, but it wasn't as if anyone was going to eat. The parking lot was full of cars from family and friends. There were a few spaces open in the back.

I looked out over the graves, those old and new. I stood apart from the crowd, from my crying sister and my red eyed mother. I didn't want to talk right now, for fear of breaking out in tears. As I stared blankly at the parking lot, trying to will any other thoughts than of my grandma to come to me, I noticed something large that had somehow avoided my gaze. It was big, dark on the outside, and took up four parking spaces. No way.

I turned around, nearly bowling over the person I was searching for. His long arms looped around me. At least he was dressed properly for this somber occasion.

"Austin." I barely managed to mumble before breaking out into tears once again. He hugged my tighter, not letting me go. It didn't matter if people were looking. We might as well just be another couple mourning in the crowd of sadness.

I clutched his jacket, letting the tears run down my cheeks. I could see from the corner of my eye that Tino, Phil, and Aaron were standing awkwardly at the punch bowl. Alan had managed to find LP in the crowd.

"Shh...It'll be okay." He rubbed my back as I choked on my own breath. I buried my head into his chest.

Just make the pain go away.

"She's in a better place." I mumbled. He nodded. He kept one arm around me at all times.

"My mom will look after her. I'm sure they're good friends by now." Austin smiled. I couldn't help but think about his mom.

An hour later, my mom was gathering LP and I, herding up back to the car. She looked up the Austin. He reached down and gave her a big hug. They understood the pain.

"Thank you for being here, boys." My mom smiled, despite the obvious pain. The three other boys, all decked out in their mourning clothes, followed us behind, trying to smile.

"It's not problem. We just decided to leave a little early so we can attend." Alan added softly. My mom unlocked our silver car. Austin and they guys paused a moment.

"Do you have your bags at home?" Austin asked me. I nodded. I almost forgot I was leaving today! This trip would provide me with a release, not focusing on the bad.

"Yeah, I have to get them." I replied, my tainted with little emotion. The grey clouds rumbled across the sky.

"Is it okay if we just follow you home so we can pick her up immediately?" Austin asked. My mom nodded. She probably wanted to get home so she could just sleep this off.

"Sounds fine." My mom nodded. We departed ways and started driving.

Thirty minutes later, we arrived at the house. The bus followed us in shortly afterwards. It threw out the same familiar shadow over part of the house. I closed the door behind me as I took the stairs two at a time, closing the door behind me.

Ten minutes later, I was changed into a comfortable shirt and pants. I took a last few looks around my room, staring at my fish tanks and the collection of fish inhabiting it. After the last look, I checked my suitcases for the seventh time and dragged them downstairs.

Austin was waiting for me. He grabbed one by the handle and smiled to my mom. I gave her a quick hug, promising that it would be all well.

"Don't worry, you know you can trust them." I told her. She smiled sadly and patted my shoulder.

"I know I can. You're in good hands." She gave us the last send off, and with that, we were off to California.

Notes

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