Austin’s P.O.V

After hearing the scream of “Oli!” from the bunks, I darted up there in a flash. I could feel worry creeping up my throat, and apparently there was a just cause for that. Upon barging up the stairs, I came face to face with a disastrous scene, Tom was cradling Oli from his spot on the floor, wincing from his brothers tight clutch on his torso, the eldest brother was shaking erratically, saying “m’ sorry” over and over again, as Tom cooed into his ear, and smoothed down his hair. Lee was rubbing small circles in his distraught band mates back, as Vegan sat beside the guitarist. Matt and Jordan were picking up paper, that seemed to litter the room, they read the words that were housed on the small pages, frowns quite evident on there faces.

“W-what happened? I choked out, I didn’t know if I really wanted to know or not, part of me needed to know that Oli was okay, but the other part told me that I should know better than that. Matt shook his head, and handed me a piece of the paper that had my name lazily scribbled on it, I gulped before processing the words.

Austin,

First off, please don’t think for a second that this is your fault. Its not, its mine…you have been there for me through every second of the day…and what do I do? I fucked it up. I shouldn’t have said those things to you, I hope you can forgive me for that, but if not, I understand as well. Austie, you have no idea how hard this is for me, I don’t want to leave you behind, but your better off without me. So I cant be selfish this time.

Words cant begin to describe how proud I am of you, you have overcome everything life ever threw at you, but I’m not that strong. I hope you can smile everyday, and live each moment with a new found purpose. Your absolutely perfect, from your eyes that hold all the emotions I could never wrap around my mind around. To your smile which brightened any room, your too perfect for me. You always have been, and im afraid you have realized that. I don’t really think you ever loved me…I think you fell in love with the idea of loving me, but lets be honest, im not capable of being loved Austin, we both knew it from the start.

I’m just a train wreck, but you’re the most beautiful thing Ive ever seen, and when I first saw you, truly saw you, for the first time, nothing else mattered. The voices went away, the world slowed, and that doesn’t happen very often when your brain always goes a million kilometers a minute.

I hope you move on, find a girl or guy that can give you everything you could ever deserve, because that’s what you should get. I can never be the things you’d like, and I could have never been the person you need. I know this is a lot to ask, but can you keep an eye on Tom for me? I think Matt will, but I just want to make sure my baby brother is okay. Please don’t let anything happen to him…oh and please take care of yourself. I know that’s going to be hard with everything I put you through, but even though this is my end, its your beginning.You will never know how much I loved you, but know that my heart will stay with you.

Always yours,

Oliver Scott Sykes

There’s no way this is happening, over my dead body will I let him feel so low again. I crumbled the paper and tossed it on the floor carelessly, I locked eyes on Tom who was still holding a hysterical Oli. Shakily I made my way to him, crouching beside my boyfriend, and lightly touching his shoulder, he froze.

“Oliver Scott Sykes, come here.” I said sternly, he turned slightly, his hazel eyes were flooded with tears as he looked up at me, I reached my arms out to him, but he didn’t move. Reluctantly, I grabbed him, pulling him close to me, he tried prying out of my grip but it was useless, we both knew it. He eventually stopped fighting and just stared up at me, shock evident on his usually perfect features. I smoothed the hair out of his eyes, and wiped away the stray tears with my thumb, he opened his mouth to say something but I silenced him by gently pressing my lips to his; I expected him to lash out, try to push me off of him; but instead, he relaxed into my touch and pressed back against my lips. I moved back, planting kisses on his forehead, as he began to tremble, “Austin I-“ he choked out, but I just sighed.

“No, no apology’s, you listen to me right now though, Oliver.” He shifted uncomfortably under my stare, but I gripped on him tighter for emphasis, “you never fucking do that again, you hear me? How dare you say I don’t love you! I love you more than anything in this godforsaken world Oliver!” he shook his head, before bowing it down in defeat. Groaning, I shook him, “Look at me.” He didn’t move, and I felt myself growing slightly agitated.

“Oliver you look at me right now!” I raised my voice a little, which made Tom and Lee both jump a bit, but at long last, Oli raised his head, and glanced at me.
“Good, now you promise me you’ll never do this again. I don’t want an apology, I want a promise.” He gasped, his eyes pleaded with me, practically begging me not to make him do this; as much as this killed me, I had to stay stern.

“Austin, I cant promise you that…” he whispered, and it felt like someone had literally ripped my heart out. Speaking of my heart, I felt it erratically beating in my chest, slamming into my skin, and I was getting hot.

“Please Oli, please baby. Promise me, I can help you! Just promise me…” I pleaded with him, but he shook his head again, fuck this isn’t good.

I gripped my chest harshly, catching his attention, “Oli I’m not letting you go until you promise me,” his jaw went slack.

“Austin you need your medicine.” He uttered the words out quietly, I shook my head.

“No, not until you…promise me that…you wont do this...again.” I struggled to make the words come out, his eyes were wide as he watched me, fear shook in the hazel orbs. I wasn’t sure if it was for me or him, but it lingered long through the silence that was cast over us; eventually the pain was becoming intolerable, for starters I wasn’t supposed to be sitting the way I was, secondly, I ran up here, third, this whole situation raised my heart rate. Not good.

“Fine, fuck, Austin. Okay I promise! Please take your medicine” he spat out quickly, and I just nodded, I couldn’t remember how to speak through this kind of pain. He shot out of my arms, darting towards our bunk; grabbing a bottle of pills, and a bottle of water, before rushing back to me. I felt so weak, I couldn’t even lift my arms to take the pills from him, he shoved them into my mouth, before quickly pouring in some water. It took all the strength I could muster to swallow the chalky substance, I gasped afterwards. The next fifteen minutes were hell, I vaguely remembered Matt and Jordan picking me up and laying me down on my bunk.

When my vision finally came back into focus, Oli was laid out next to me, lamely tracing patterns into my chest, with his head laying on my shoulder, I couldn’t help but frown. What would I have done if Oli had actually been gone? What was he thinking when he tried that? It was my fault…it was all my fault. I’m the one who should be dead, he has done nothing but been loving and perfect; and what have I done? Gotten angry at him, and lashed out in more ways then id like. My eyes were stinging with tears by the time Oli noticed I had come too, he was staring at me; worry etched on his face.

“Please don’t leave me.” I choked out, before a sob racketed through my body, he pulled me close and let me sob into his chest. I clung to him as tight as I could, a million thoughts racing through my mind, but I knew one thing I wouldn’t do again. Id never leave him, ever. I would stay by his side, till I drew my last breathe, I shook harshly. What about this gang that Tom had come across? How in danger were we now? Time was up today, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Oli kissed my head, “love, I’m sorry…I won’t do it again.” I nodded, and pulled myself impossibly close to him.

He chuckled, “Austin, you know that I wouldn’t even be here without you. I just don’t feel like I deserve someone as great as you…” his voice trailed off, and I could feel water drip onto my hair, I glanced up, catching his eyes which looked so sad; once again covered in tears. His lips were trembling, so I took the opportunity to press my lips to his, I smiled as he pressed his lips gently against mine, I mentally prepared myself for the back lash I may get for my next actions, I used my teeth to tug on his bottom lip, I felt him moan slightly before allowing me to slide my tongue against his. I was shocked that he hadn’t freaked out like last time, but I was happy, I didn’t know if he felt the same; but I needed him. I could care less if all the guys were just downstairs, I saw nothing more than the beautiful man before me, and I wanted to prove to him that I loved him. I wrapped an arm around him, and pulled him onto my chest, as I deepened the kiss. I felt his lips twitch up, and he fought me for dominance with his tongue, it was usually like this, he would try to take control, but would eventually allow me to take over. He pulled back abruptly, I pouted as the warmth of his lips left mine, he giggled.

“Always so impatient.” He growled, and fuck that was enough to make the desire for him even greater. I tried to sit up, but he straddled my hips, grinning down at me. He leaned down, and whispered in my ear.

“Not this time. If you want this, you’ll have to be patient.”

I wanted to ask ‘who are you and what the fuck have you done with Oli?’, but honestly this new side of him was…hot. He kissed my cheek, before making his way down my neck, my breathe hitched as he slipped a hand under my shirt, and rubbed circles in my skin. I wanted nothing more than to flip him over and rip those clothes off, but patience is a virtue.

“AUSTIN! OLI!” a voice called, followed by a set of foot steps, Oli slipped off of me, quickly standing up, I groaned. Really? Of all the times to be interrupted! I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and put my hands in my lap in a desperate way to cover up the situation Oli had created. Tino barged into the room, and smiled.

“Were in LA!” he cheered ecstatically, and I growled at him.He shot me a weird look, before assessing us. Oli was a blushing mess, my hair must have been sticking up in a thousand directions, and I was probably being to obvious about guarding my zipper area. Tino’s face was priceless, a look of embarrassment shrouded him, as his face shot red.

“Oh god! I’m so sorry! Oh man, this is awkward. Uhm well just come down, when you all are…done? Yeah!” he darted down the stairs, and I heard him trip, causing me to burst into laughter. Oli turned into a mess of giggles, as the drummer shouted “I’m Okay!”
I turned to catch the eyes of Oli, as he slowly regained composure; I stood up and pulled him into my chest, kissing his forehead.

“we can do all that later,” I chimed, he buried his head in my neck.

“I love you Austie.” He murmured against my skin, I squeezed him tight enough to make him squirm, “I love you too.”

“Lemme go!” he giggled the words out, but I shook my head.

“No Oli! Be patient!” I joked with him, he was squirming like mad, cackling like he was going to lose his mind. He took his foot and hit me in the knee, causing us both to go tumbling on the hard floor of the RV. We were both crying from straining for breath, after several moments of hysterics, I scampered to my feet, offering my boyfriend a hand, which he gladly took. We were still giggling as we made our way down the spiral stairs, and into the main lounge, were the guys were all packing up. Except for Matt and Tom, who were no where to be seen. Oli seemed to have picked up on that too,

“Where’s Tommy and Pickles?” he asked, wiping the stray tears from his eyes, the guys all shrugged.

“They went for a walk about ten minutes ago, they should be back soon.” Alan chimed, as he struggled with Aaron to get a suitcase closed. Tino, who's face was still red, and Jordan were cleaning the small kitchenette, as Vegan, Lee, and Phil grabbed some of the gifts we had gotten on the road, and sorted them out to their owners.

Oli nodded, before casting a worried glance at me, I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Their fine, trust me.” I whispered to him, and as if on cue the door swung open, Tom climbing the few steps into the bus, and helping Matt up as well. The drummer looked annoyed as he turned to catch everyone's actions, “I wish I could pack like a normal person, but its hard when my arms out of commission.” He brandished the once black cast, that now had all of our names scribbled on it, along with a few vulgar images. Everyone chuckled, as he flipped us off with his good hand, before following Tom who was grabbing their bags. I watched them closely, trying to decipher what exactly was going on between the two. I glanced at Oli who was doing the same, before turning back to them, Tom was folding Matt’s and his clothes quietly, as Matt smiled at him, a very familiar look in his eyes. I knew that look, it’s the way Oli looked at me, it was becoming increasingly obvious that the drummer was head over heels in love for the youngest Sykes brother. I felt Oli lay a hand on my shoulder,


“Well that answers that,”he chuckled, before pulling my hand with his, silently telling me to stop staring. I let him pull me back upstairs, as we grabbed our bags and packed the things we couldn’t live without. Oli’s Drop Dead suitcase was stuffed full of his brands clothing, as was all of ours, and a few of my Aspire & Create shirts were added in the mix. He slipped on a hoodie that read, ‘Drop Dead Steel City’. I knew it was his favorite; he always smiled at his brand logo, and the nickname of his home town, it was adorable. I hastily zipped up my suitcase, and grabbed my Drop Dead Bomber jacket, which was part of a present Oli got me, before slipping it on. He smiled at me as I extended a hand to him, before pulling him close to me, I turned him so he could see us in the full length mirror.

“I think we make a cute couple, right?” I asked in all seriousness, and he punched my shoulder, and pulled out of my arms.

“Hey I was being serious! Get back here!” he turned and pouted, but he listened to me nonetheless. I pulled him into my arms, as I slipped my phone out of my pocket, before kissing his cheek and snapping a picture in the mirror.

“What are you doing?” he asked curiously, as I fumbled around on my phone.

“Can I finally say something about us?” I practically begged, he looked taken back by my question, but nodded his head.

“it wasn’t like you couldn’t have by now, I just wanted to wait till after the album release, and then all this happened and…im rambling. Of course, I don’t care.” That was a relief, I clicked the picture and studied it.

His eyes were bright as ever, and a small smile was playing at his lips, my eyes were shut as my lips were pressed on his cheek, our clothes reflected perfectly into the small mirror, it was a good picture actually. My favorite I’ve ever taken with him.

I clicked on Twitter and Instagram, and tagged him :

@olobersyko im so happy to have you in my life, you’re everything I could ever want or need, and I’m so happy I get to call you mine. Much love <3 xoxo

I clicked post, as he looked over my shoulder, and read the words quietly, he broke into a full blown grin. Within minutes it had been liked/favorited/retweeted more times than I could count.

A lot of people posted things like

“Awh so happy for you guys!”

Along with the occasional,

“this is a joke, lol.”

Or

“WTF”

Oli hopped on his phone, and typed something out quickly before showing me what he had written in response on Instagram,

@austincarlile wasn’t kidding. If you don’t like it, that’s your problem, because I couldn’t be more happy. This doesn’t affect mine, or his, abilities as musicians, so if this changes your opinion on us, you were never a fan of ours, anyways. For the loyal devoted fans we have, I love you all, your truly the best, and I’m proud to call you all my family <3

He clicked post, as he glanced up at me, he was smiling like mad as he made a move to plant a small kiss on my cheek. We grabbed our bags, and turned off the lights on the bus, before walking down the stairs, to be greeted by the guys. My eyes never left Oli, he was always going to be my center of attention, I was going to make sure he was the happiest man alive, from here on out. No more of this suicidal thoughts and actions, no, it was his turn to be happy, and I couldn’t believe that in just two days, I was going to ask him to marry me. The thought alone made me nervous, one thought racing in my head, I hope he says yes.

Notes

finally an update! im going to try and do 2-3 more this week! yay.
so fluffy chapter is fluffy, but dont get to used to it ;D

please comment/subscribe/vote.
cause that makes me motivated and happy :3

AND what do you think is going to happen next? im curious to know! :p
until next time,
xoxoxo
siren