Left For Dead

Echo’s POV
I wrote down my last words in the diary I had gotten from Shannon and then closed it. I went with my hand over the aqua colored cover and smiled. It really did help to write in it somehow. I always had this problem that my thoughts were too confusing to actually think straight. Writing things down made everything seem simpler and way less bad as I thought it was.
Take yesterday for an example. For some reason my heart kind of broke when I saw Alex with Taylor. And it confused me, because I was there with Josh and I thought I wanted him.
But then I wrote it down in my diary and it suddenly made sense. I didn’t have feelings for Alex, I just felt bad because I missed him and she got to spend time with him and I didn’t. It was perfectly normal, I think. I had never actually lost a friend.
But I did still felt bad for Taylor. He must’ve only gotten with her to get over me. I mean two days was a little short to get over someone. Or, he lied to me and he actually wasn’t in love with me. This situation could only mean that he was either lying to me or to her and that didn’t sound like the man I knew.
I sighed and walked over to my bunk to put my dairy in my bag. Then I took out the shirt I had gotten a few days ago and some other articles of clothing and got myself ready for our set (http://www.polyvore.com/echo_stage_outfit/set?id=199604258).
We were in Hartford right now, which meant we had exactly three weeks to go. It also meant that we were over half of the tour already. It had gone so fast, but at the other hand I had the feeling like we had been here for way longer. I mean in this short time of three weeks, so much had happened. Me and the girls had grown so close and we had gotten better musicians too. But we also had gone through a lot as individuals. Vanna even got married! Okay it was accident, but still. She wouldn’t have been with him if that wouldn’t have happened. And they were cute as fuck so I guess it was a good thing they’re were drunk out of their minds that night.
I quickly got out of the bus and fast walked over Warped grounds. I was a bit late for our set, but I knew from experience that running over Warped grounds was a bad idea. There were so many people, that tripping was unavoidable.
I reached backstage and tried to steady my breath as the girls and Kevin stared at me. “You’re late again, Echo. Only five minutes and you have to go on!” Kevin said and he sounded and looked very serious. I think it was the mustache, the mustache made him always look very serious even if he wasn’t trying to be.
“I’m sorry. I was writing in my diary.” I said and I smiled at Shannon. She smiled back and shot me a wink.
“Well, write faster next time.” Kevin said and I knew he wasn’t really angry anymore. I don’t think he ever was. He just needed to scare me a little so I came in time next time. It was a long shot though. I was always late for everything.
“Yes sir.” I said as I quickly grabbed my bass and tuned it a bit.
I was only half done when the girls already ran on stage. I quickly ran after them and hoped it wouldn’t sound too bad. Normally people didn’t really hear the bass in music, but I can tell you one thing: when it was out of tune, it could ruin the whole song.
Luckily for me it wasn’t really out of tune. It wasn’t my best show of the tour, but it definitely didn’t sound bad.
When we got off stage again, everyone kind of went their own way again. I was planning on visiting Josh, he had said he had brought Monopoly with him on tour and that got me excited. Yes, I got excited about board games, get over it. I was just the biggest dork to have ever walked planet earth, okay?
I was just on my way to the You Me At Six bus when I almost bumped up to Taylor. I had kind of hoped she hadn’t seen me, so I didn’t have to talk to her, but unfortunately for me she had noticed me. She smiled and dragged me in a hug. “Hey Echo, we really need to catch up on a lot! I didn’t have time to talk with you yesterday.” She said.
I awkwardly hugged her back and shot her a shy smile. I didn’t really know how to act around her anymore. She had been my friend and I liked her a lot, but things were just different now. Besides, I really didn’t know if she knew about Alex having feelings for me. Something in me told me she didn’t.
“Yeah, definitely! How are you?” I asked trying to not sound awkward.
She smiled and a glow spread over her face. The kind of glow people had when they were in love. I felt my heart drop a little. If he broke her heart, then it would be because of me, which made it my fault. “I’m really good! Do you remember that talk that we had in Pomona? The one in which you told me I should try to go for Alex? Well, I think you were right. I think we might’ve a chance.” She said.
I let out a short, forced chuckle. “Wow, that’s amazing, Tay. I’m so happy for you.” I said. I meant it, I really was happy that she was happy, but I knew that this could easily blow up in her face and I would feel guilty for a long time. It was like a time-bomb that could go off any minute.
She shortly giggled. “Thank you. He is honestly so sweet. It’s been a long time since a boy has treated me this good.” She said.
I knew Alex was a sweet boyfriend. I had always seen him with his exes and he used to be really cute with them. I felt kind of weird about the fact that I had a chance to be in her place right now. If I had handled things differently, if I had made different decisions, I could’ve been the one kissing him and cuddling him.
That thought shocked me. Did I really want that? Or did I just miss him? I just didn’t know anymore. All I knew is that I didn’t really wanted to hear more about this. I just didn’t want to hear anymore of how happy he was with Taylor.
“I’m sorry, Tay. I need to go. I still have…things to do.” I said quickly and hoped it didn’t sound stupid.
Taylor smiled at me and she didn’t look hurt at all. She kind of looked like nothing could ruin her good mood. I knew something that could. “It’s okay. I’ll see you later.” She said.
I nodded at her and then marched over to the You Me At Six bus. This whole encounter with Taylor was definitely something I needed to write down in my diary, because the longer I thought about it, the more confused I got.

Shannon's POV
I could feel how confused echo was about this whole Alex situation and honestly it was getting me really pissed off. Me, Ally and Mike were sitting in the front lounge and I couldn't stop fidgeting, “Shannon, what's wrong?” I sighed and stood up, I will be right back. I stomped off of the bus over to all time lows bus. I knocked on and smiled at Rian who had opened the door, “is Alex here?” He nodded and yelled for Alex. After a few minutes I saw him walking out of the door of the bus and Rian closed the door behind him. I grabbed Alex's hand and pulled him I between mine and pierces bus. I grabbed him by the collar and smacked his back into pierces bus. “Listen here, if you hurt anyone and I mean anyone else's feelings on this tour, it will be the last goddamn thing you do, got it?” He nodded and I let go of his shirt and he walked away with his head down.
I found a bit of grass not far away from the buses, and sat down crossing my legs. I felt around the Bottom of my pockets and felt the packet of cigarettes and a lighter I carry around. I only smoke when I'm stressed. That is it. I opened up the packet grabbed one and placed it between my lips, I lit it and inhaled the smoke. As I exhaled, I saw my boyfriend and his band with ally walking towards where I was sitting. I looked up at them with a pissed off expression “what?” Ally laughed and sat down. “Wait, you smoke?” Jaime said with a raised eyebrow. Ally sighed and spoke up “only when she is stressed or scared” I exhaled some smoke into her face and she coughed. The rest of pierce sat down and decided to talk with me. “So what wrong?” Vic said drinking from his energy drink. I just shrugged and the away the stump of the fag. I held my and out to Mike and pouted towards the energy drink he had in his hand. He gave it to me and I smiled and crawled over to his lap.
We had been talking on the grass for a few minutes when I looked to where talking was coming from the buses, and I saw Taylor and Alex walking past, I glared at Alex and he put his head down to the floor. Up behind them I saw. Echo and vanna running towards us. They were both out of breath and vanna's clothes were wet. “Vanna--fell into-- a fucking canal s--tream” echo said laughing Inbetween words. Vanna then pushed echo to the ground “it's not funny” Vanna said and stomped towards the bus presumably to get out of her wet clothes. “Now tell me more about this canal” and the story began,


Vanna-
“Stop!” I laugh as Jaime picked me up from the ground and begins to turn in circles.
“naahhh.” I slap his arms and he laughs freely.
“You're gonna drop me, and I'm going to get all dirty.” I warned him. “I actually tried to look nice today.”
“It won't be a surprise. Everybody knows you're very clumsy, beautiful.”
“You're still with the trip? Dear Jesus I said that I tripped in a hole yesterday, not entirely my fault.” He puts me down and gives me the really? Face. I giggle and he laughs. We were spending the rest of the day together. Throughout the entire first and a half months of hating this marriage, we just gave up for each other and got along throughout the time, slowly oh slowly, I fell for him, and now, I didn't want to let him go. His arms wrap around me and I smile, our brown eyes looking deeply into each others, and my phone starts to ring to kill the moment. Jaime groans and as I pick it up, turn my back from him, but that didn't stop Jaime from wrapping his arms around me.
“Hello?” I look at the contact name and sigh. My mom’s whimper is heard from the other side. “Mom?”
“Vanna? “
“Hi mom, what's up? I miss you.”
“Oh honey….” and she starts to sob.
“What's going on?” My dad’s voice is heard, trying to soothe my crying mother.
“Mija?” his voice sound broken, and that sent my anxiety to the top. Dad was never the one to show much emotion. If he was this distraught… it must be something big.
“Papi, que paso?” I ask him very worried, afraid what will come out of his mouth.
“It's Damien…. We got the call. . . I'm sorry baby girl… He was going to aid his partner and a bomb was there...” my heart began to get heavy, and my insides drop to my core. My hands begin to shake and my eyes begin to water.
That bomb took my brother. No. No. NO!
“No he’s not, he's just missing.” I said, repeating,denying any possible truth.
“I wish, Vanna. I really wish he was.” I look at Jaime as tears fall down my cheeks, a sob breaks from MY throat and I fall to the ground, as my knees gave me no support with this heavy loss in me. I let my phone slide off my hand, letting it shatter lightly on the floor. Jaime’s arms still wrapped around me, he gets on his knees and moves my hair from my face, looking into my eyes. I stare blankly once again into his brown eyes before they turn into the shade of brown my brother had and I begin to sob again.
“He’s not gone.. No no.” I mumble as he rocked me to calm down. I shake my head and sob into his shirt. “Not my big brother… Not my army boy.. No no no.” I cry out. “Not Damien.”
***
Jaime had carried me to the bus, and I was currently sitting in the back lounge, my brother’s quilt around me and my custom made Army Jacket with our last name patch correctly placed where he should've had it in his own uniform. I looked down at the sleeves, occasionally looking at the picture I bought from home, that had me and him. I was on his back, he gave a peace sign and I had my arm up in victory. It was the day Left For Dead was signed, and he was there. Although he never liked the idea of me going all over the world, he never gave a negative feedback in our music. My hand touches the beer can and I take a sip.
“V?” I look up and see Ally along with Echo and Shannon standing under the door frame. I look up and smiled small, before sighing and hugging my legs. I begin to cry once more, not barring to see my friend straight at their faces. I feel someone wrap their arms around me, another take away the drink from my hand and I look to the side, their faces still looking forward.
“I'm sorry, Vanna… I really am.” Ally whispered, her arms wrapped around me. Shannon goes on the other side, doing the same thing while Echo sits down by my feet, looking up at me, her hands on my knees as i slowly put my legs down so she wouldn’t be facing my feet.
“Why?” I ask them, although I already knew the answer. “I never got to tell him about me and Jaime, and how we're getting along.” I whisper, my throat tightens and my hands begin to shake again. “I'm not coming home to him. I'm never gonna see him again.” I wrapped his quilt tighter to myself, and cried more, if that was even possible at this moment, but somehow i still had tears to spill all over my face and hands. There was a small knock and we all look up to see our boys standing under the door frame. Mike, Kellin, Jaime, Holden and Alex were smiling at me, yet sympathy filled their eyes. Holden wipes his face, opens his arms and I run towards them, crashing into his body, hugging tightly as the tears fall down my cheeks again. He was the closest friend of Damien and he talked to him before he left, and somehow hugging Holden, felt like i was hugging Damien for the last time.
***
We were on the road again, the trees passing by in a blur, the sun slowly setting, the colors fading into the color of my insides, black. Nobody had said anything, and we all sat down watching television that was playing softly in the background. Jaime had asked the boys that he was going to stay with me, so here he was. My head was on his laps, his fingers going through my blue green tangled hair., the quilt still wrapped around me, my day clothes still on. I didn't feel like moving, I looked at Kevin as he kept looking back to see how I was doing. How do I feel? Numb, broken and incomplete. I've lost my partner in crime, my mentor, my friend, my brother all in one day.
“It's okay.” Jaime whispered, I didn't even notice I started crying again. He sighs, leans down to place a kiss on my head and continues to play with my hair. My eyelids heavy, my eyes burn and I took that as a sign, that I had to see my brother on the other side of reality.. And so I drifted to sleep.

Ally's POV
“How is she doing ?” Kellin asked as I walked up to him. “I don't know, I left her with Jaime inside. But she didn't look so good. It hurts seeing her like that.” I whispered with a small quiver. That was my best friend in there completely destroyed. Her pain was my pain and it was truly unbearable to see her this way. He wiped off a small tear of my face and grabbed my hands. “I know, I know. We'll help her through this, she has lots and lots of people here who love her and will support her through anything. So text me in case you guys anything, okay ?” Kellin said while pulling me into a hug. We stood there for a good a minute or so before letting go. “Thank you.” I said. “No problem.” He said as he gave me a small kiss on my forehead before leaving.
I opened the door of our bus to see Jaime and Vanna laying down on the couch, they must've fallen asleep there. I tried my best to not make noise as I walked towards my bunk in the back to get my blanket for them. I covered them with it and went to the back lounge. I sat there and began thinking about all those memories we had with Damien when we were younger. I had known him since I met Vanna and I considered him as a brother as well, given I never had one. I remember when he would take Vanna and I to the little kids playground and whenever a boy got near us, he would immediately take the ‘older brother’ role and scold them away. He was truly a caring, loving and sweet person just like his sister. Tears began streaming down my face as I thought of all of that. I hadn't realized Vanna was standing by the doorway. I looked at her sadly as she sat next to me. I engulfed her in a hug as she began crying also. We sat there in silence. No words really needed to be said at this moment and we both knew it. My eyes slowly began shutting as I started falling asleep.
“Ally get up.” I heard Kevin say while shaking me awake. I woke up to see Vanna gone. “Where's Vivi ?” I asked. “We were just wondering the same thing, haven't you seen her ?” He asked, with his face looking as worried as ever. “She was with me not long ago but I fell asleep.” I answered while standing up. “Jaime, Shannon and Echo tried calling her but no answer came and I thought maybe you'd know since you can understand her more at the moment and out of anyone here, you'd be the one she would go to.” He said giving me my phone from the couch. I nodded, grabbed my phone and left the bus and began calling her. She answered and told me she was near a small park nearby. I immediately texted Shannon and Echo to let them know where she was and with that, I was off looking for her.
I spotted her easily given her hair was the only bright blue in there. I walked up to her to see her staring off in distance, like in a daydreaming mode. “I think I saw him.” She said in a low soft voice. “Saw who ?” I asked, sitting right next to her. “Damien.” She whispered. She turned her head towards me, her eyes red and puffy from her crying. “That's why I came here.” I took her in for a hug while she began crying again. I felt two other arms around us, I looked up to see Shannon and Echo standing there looking at us sadly. We sat there for the next twenty minutes, silently talking. Of course most of the talking was done by Shannon while Echo comforted Vanna. “Girls we should get going, it's getting kinda late now and Kevin is really worried about you.” Echo said. “Hey remember ? We're Left For Dead nothing gets in our way. We'll help you get this I promise.” Shannon said. Vanna looked at us with a small sincere smile coming to her face. We all came together for a group hug. “Let's go now.”

Notes