Left For Dead

Echo’s POV
Two days had passed since Vanna’s brother had died and instead of getting better, she only seemed to get sadder. It was like there had been a light in her eyes I hadn’t noticed until it was suddenly gone. It was like that one phone call, had sucked all the life and happiness out of her and she was nothing but a shell.
She did still come on to play in front of the audience, but there was no joy in her performance anymore. She tried to get back that routine that we had before everything went down, but it didn’t quite work. Because this thing had changed her and she just didn’t fit in that routine anymore.
She had cried herself to sleep every night since she had heard the news. She tried not to be heard, but when the whole bus was quite, you could easily hear her silent sobs.
The whole thing didn’t only hit Vanna though. Ally, Shannon and Kevin had known Damien too and they also seemed less happy. Hell, they didn’t look happy at all. Every time I saw one of them look at Vanna, I knew that they realized over and over again that someone they knew had died.
And even though there was only a small group of people at Warped that actually knew Damien, the sadness was spread even further than that group.
The guys of PTV, MIW and ATL and me, we tended to be very careful around the people that were grieving. We all kind of felt like they could break when we touched them or and we were afraid to say something wrong.
It was just…the guy was so young. He had his entire life in front of him. He was supposed to get children, get married, spend as much time with his sister and his other loved ones as he could. When something like that happens, a cold tense ambiance covers the people that are touched by it. Even the ones that didn’t really knew him.
I put up my knees and threw my arms around them. I had found a tree just outside Warped grounds to get away from all the people inside. I had asked Josh to join me and he was sitting next to me, looking over the calm stream. Pink lilies were floating in the dark green water and the sun was softly shining through the thin clouds. It was weird because it had been incredibly sunny the entire tour, but since Damien died it seemed like the sun was shining way less. Maybe it had been cloudy before, but I just seemed to notice it more now because of the grim ambiance that was around the people on tour.
“Are you okay?” Josh asked and he gently traced my back in a comforting manner.
“Yeah, I’ve just been thinking and I want to do something for the girls. Mostly for Vanna.” I said a little bit lost in thought. I had just come up with the idea a few minutes ago and I was still processing it in my head.
“To cheer them up?” Josh asked and I couldn’t match an emotion to the tone in his voice.
“Partly. But I know that nothing what I do will make them happy now anyway.” I said. “No, I want to do something that shows them that I’m there for them. That they don’t have to be strong for once, because I will be strong for them.” I said and my voice broke a bit at the end.
Josh laid down in the grass and mentioned for me to lay on his chest. I doubted it for a second, but then figured I really needed someone to hold right now and I wanted that person to be him. So I let my head lay on his chest and rested my hand on his stomach. I felt his arms around my body and it honestly felt a bit like a protective shield.
“I think it’s a good idea. They really need something like that right now. I can only imagine how alone Vanna must be feeling right now.” He said and he traced with his fingers through my hair.
I thought back to Vanna’s crying face and figured he must’ve been right. I had a two brothers myself and I could only imagine what it must feel like to lose one. Losing your only one must’ve been worse.
“Yeah, I just don’t know what to do.” I said and sighed. My plan was perfect except for the fact that I had no idea what do. All my ideas felt a little bit cliché or stupid. I didn’t want to be the stupid friend that obviously had no idea how they must be feeling because I didn’t went through it. It had to be something creative, yet thoughtful.
“Mmmh…What do they like? Something simple can be perfect already.” He said
I had thought through all the simple things already, but they just seemed so stupid. They didn’t seem good enough for my three best friends.
And then it suddenly hit me. I knew what do now.
Without warning I stood up from Josh’s chest and ran in the direction of our bus.
“Echo?!” He yelled confused.
I just quickly shouted something back. “I have an idea!” I screamed while running. All I wanted to do now was to work on my brilliant plan.
When I came running into the bus, the girls weren’t there. They were probably with their boyfriends, I guess. I grabbed my guitar from the luggage department and my diary from my bunk and directly ran towards the back lounge. I locked the door so no one could come in. I needed privacy for this.
I tried to steady my breath as I took my diary and unlocked it. With the adrenaline of the running still in my system, I wrote every single thing that was on my heart.
*
“Echo, is this really necessary? I don’t really feel like surprises.” Vanna said as she entered the back lounge and sat down next to Ally and Shannon. Her blue hair was messy and she had big bags underneath her eyes.
I shot her a pitiful smile. “I know, but I think you might actually like this one.” I said.
I had been working at this all afternoon and evening and it was now pushing midnight. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the message that counted.
I took up my guitar from the couch. “So, I could give a speech now, but this song I wrote kind of explains everything.” I said.
The girls exchanged confused looks and I couldn’t help but giggle. I was sort of excited about this somehow.
I then took a breath and started strumming the strings of my guitar, playing the song I had wrote for them.
Not a lot of time has passed since we met
But I don’t need much time
To see that you’ve been beaten down, damaged and broken
Just place your hand in mine
And no words need to be spoken
You don’t have to be strong now
I will take that role for now
I’ll be your strength and courage
I’ll be a shoulder to cry on
When you feel like your all alone
I’ll be your strength and courage
Until you feel like you can do it on your own
I don’t say that things will get less painful
But they’ll get easier with time
You might feel like the world is one big mess, like it’s all dark
Just place your hand in mine
And I will lead you out of the dark
You don’t have to be strong now
I will take that role for now
I’ll be your strength and courage
I’ll be a shoulder to cry on
When you feel like your all alone
I’ll be your strength and courage
Until you feel like you can do it on your own
You can cry if you want to
There’s no one who blames you
Just know that
You don’t have to be strong now
I will take that role for now
I’ll be your strength and courage
I’ll be a shoulder to cry on
When you feel like your all alone
I’ll be your strength and courage
Until you feel like you can do it on your own
I strummed the last chords and ended the song. I almost didn’t dare to look up when I had finished. I wasn’t that good at speaking, so I felt like writing down what I felt was the best way to do this.
But they didn’t make a sound. If it weren’t for their breathing, I would’ve thought they had either died or left the room.
Afraid that I had sung something wrong, I looked up at them. Their faces showed pure shock, but also something else: gratitude.
I started nervously rambling when they still didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry if it’s bad. This is the first time I have ever written a song and I have just wrote it today. I just wanted to do something to-“
I was cut off by Vanna throwing her arms around my neck. That was the moment, I knew I did something right. I put my guitar away on the couch and hugged her back, feeling a wet stain forming in my hair. She’s was crying.
For some reason that caused a tear to escape my eye too. “It’s going to be okay.” I said softly as I traced her hair. “It all will be fine.”


Shannon POV
So Damien had died. Death is inevitable. But when it happens it leaves a sense of emptiness. I had a lot of time to grief over my parents, it isn't easy. One thing other than the help of the girls that helped me through is quotes, the quotes that were said at their funeral. They were that powerful that most of them are engraved in my brain. And whenever I'm sad, they help me out.
I went into the bus to see vanna sitting on the sofa watching the tv with empty eyes. I sighed and walked up to her. “I found a quiet place” I said trying to get her to feel better. Every venue I try to find a place where we can go to think if we needed too. “Come with me” I held my hand out for her and she accepted it and we went to the lake I had found where it was quiet, the only noises were the birds and the blowing of the wind through the trees, we sat on the grass that was next to the lake and I crossed my legs and turned to vanna. “It gets better you know” she sighed and looked up at me “I know, people keep telling me that but I don't really believe them” I scooted closer towards her body. “Well you know what happened to me, it's exactly the same as what has happened to you. Now vanna, this is where the wise Shannon appears ok?” She nodded and looked out towards the lake. “Well you may not believe in God but neither do I, but at my mum and dads funeral there was a lot of quotes on cards and letters, I read them all and they made me feel better, I wrote them down in a few books and there are around 4 books. I carry one everywhere with me, just incase I get sad”. She looked towards me and urged me to carry on. I smiled and said “one of my favourites is a poem,
I'm not so far from you
Just a little way beyond
Past the cares and past the pain
Past my earthly bonds
When you feel you miss me most
As years go drifting by
Each memory will prove to you
Our love will never die
For memories are but a touch
From the fathers gentle hand
To heal the pain and mend our hearts
To help you understand
That while I left you far to soon
I did not leave alone
For the father sent his angels
To gently take me home
Take comfort when you think of me
Keep my love alive in your heart
And with the warmth of each memory
We will never be apart”
I saw a tear run down vannas face, “I like that one” she said while laughing a little through her tears and rubbing away a stray one that fell down her cheek.
“Well I'm going to tell you a secret now that no one else knows except from me and my dad okay?” She nodded and I smiled at the memory “well me and my dad used to go into the garden at night time and lie down on the grass in silence, he used to always tell me that each stars was an Angel looking down on us and making sure we are ok” I paused as I thought about the quote is was going to say “then what surprised me the most, was a card that someone had wrote to me at my parents funeral I was only young wasn't I? So, I opened it up and it said ‘Perhaps they are not stars in the sky but rather openings where our loved ones shine down on us to tell us they are ok’ I used to think it was a coincidence but the more I thought about it, I knew it was my dad reaching out to me”.
Next thing you know I felt arms wrap tightly around me. “I bring way to many book with me, I blame Leon, but it's always helpful. I gave echo that diary and now I'm giving you one of my quote books. I wrote down every quote that made me feel better” I spoke into her hair. “Thank you” she said into my shoulder. “What are best friends for?”.


Vanna POV
I sighed as I put my phone down, the music blasting in my ears that I even felt the vibrations inside. I guess putting more life inside of me one way or another. I couldn't hear anything from outside, but I did feel the warm body heat of someone close. I look up and Kevin looks down at me. I take out an ear bud and looked at him.
“you okay?” His voice careful and soft. I nod and I felt something build inside me. Another sob. It was as if I had a machine inside of me ready to turn on everytime someone asked me how I was doing. I wipe
my tears and look down at my jeans.
“I'm helping my parents plan the funeral.” I whisper and it hurt me. “he was in the army, but I want to plan this.. It's a deal we made.” Knowing that my brother had died overseas was one thing, watching him being buried meant I had actually lost him forever. The funeral planning was stressful. My parents wanted to have the funeral as soon as possible, but I kept insisting that it took place when I got back home, so I wouldn't have to carry the burden that i never made it to the funeral of my only brother. Nothing would hurt me more than not going to the funeral of Damien. As for the deal, we promised each other if either one of us died first, the other had to plan the funeral, no help from mom and dad, just one or the other. So here I was,searching for funeral homes, contacting the force and dealing with his loss, all in one day.
***
“Vanna, you have to go out. performing and coming to the bus ain't helping you.” Jaime said, sitting down in front of me, his hands grabbing mine. Chris, Holden, Kellin, the rest of the boys were in front of me. The girls were right behind them, after everything they have done for me, I'm pretty sure they feel like it hasn't helped. Has it? A bit, but in what ways? I don't know. I didn't feel any better than the first day I received the devastating news.
“why don't you talk to us?” Chris suggested. We all look at him and he shrugs. “Fans vent to us and it makes them feel better..” he had a very good point.
“okay. Okay. Sit.” we were at the back lounge so everybody sat on the floor, the girls took a seat next to their men, and I slowly shake my head. These girls I swear. Jaime sits next to me and grabs my hands.
“okay, so what do you guys wanna hear?”
“anything. just remember happy times” Tony says, smiling. I nod and sigh.
“Oh! I know a good one…. So me and Ally.” they look at her and she shakes her head.
***
“Come on Ally! I race you to the swings!” I yelled at my best friend, as I ran away from her. It was the last day of seventh grade, and I was ready to be free all summer long. Ally takes a sit on her swing and I count to 3 before we began to actually swing. I put all my weight up and down, trying to beat her in our little game. My arms and legs began to get very tired but I continued before jumping off the swing and landing on feet, but end up slipping on the sand and end up on my butt. Ally laughs and jumps as well, but she fell down as well. We both look at each other and then hear my older brother's annoying laugh.
“Loser!” He yelled.
“Shut up, D!” He sticks out his tongue because I knew he was annoyed.
“Hey Vanna!” I turn around and see the guy that bothers me at school even more than my older brother ever did. Owen walked towards me, and looks at me then at Ally.
“Me and Daniel wanted to know… “
“V, let's go home. We have to go drop off Ally.” Damien said, his eyes glued to Owen and his friend, Daniel. I giggle knowing that Damien just wanted me not to get close to boys. I promised him I wouldn't have a boyfriend until I was in high school. So one more year to go.
“Come on.. Just like one race.” Owen complained but my brother shook his head, saying no. I pretended to be hurt as I look at Owen and walked away.
“THANKKK YOOOUUU!!” I sang as we walked far away from the most annoying boy in all of my middle school class.
“Vanna, you know I won't always be there to say no.”
“I'll take advantage while you are here. Now piggy back ride!” he couldn't say no. I promised him I wouldn't help mom that he had cheated on a test that he needed to past. ****
I wipe my tears from my face and chuckle.
Damien, always protecting people from harm and people. I sigh, and remembering all memories made me cry again, for like the thousandth time in four days. Everybody was smiling, and Ally was wiping her face from the tears that had probably escaped.
“The day left for dead got signed…”
“Nooooooo!” Ally and Shannon say in unison. I look at them and smile. It wasn't a bad story, never knew why they didn't like it.
“What's wrong with that story?” Holden asked, raising an eyebrow.,and looking at the three of us.
“the only thing you have to know is that the three of us, and Lauren.” Shannon frowns at the sound of her name. “we wore pajamas to the signing because we kind of got drunk… well hammered the night before.” It was quiet before Kellin started to laugh. It was literally the entire story. “ Damien was so mad at all of us, but when we signed the contract and we got Kevin as a manager, he just let it go. It was the greatest thing ever. “ Ally said, making me smile. A real smile. I felt it warm my heart, even though it still ached oh so much. I sigh and lay on Jaime’s shoulder, his arms around me.
“He. “ I take a deep breath, and looked down. “He was so happy when we got signed. He listened to our album… stayed awake with me when I worked on my finals AND was trying to come up with new material.” my voice cracked and Jaime squeezes my shoulders. “I can't. I'm sorry.” I stand up before walking towards the bathroom and lock the door. I look at my eyes and cry, seeing the tears run down my cheeks and how red my eyes got.
“FUCK!” I yelled and punched the wall, before sinking in. Here I was again, losing my mind and my sanity for Damien. “FUCK YOU!” i cried. People were moving the knob, but I just wanted to be alone in my own despair.
“Vanna!”
“Go Away! Go away!” I screamed, hugging my legs. “go away.” my hand throbbing, my head banging. I lay my head down and drowned myself to sleep.


Ally's POV
“Vivi it's me Ally, open the door please.” I cried softly. I heard her softly crying inside. We had been trying our best lately to make Vanna feel somewhat better after the news of Damien but everything seemed to fail. I had now been waiting outside the bathroom for the past two hours or so and she wouldn't come out. “She's been in there too long now, I can't wait any longer.” Jaime said desperately while pacing around our little kitchen. I sat down next to the door and began crying softly, “Please.” Echo then came up to me and put out her hand for me to take while giving me a small hug after. A few seconds later we heard the bathroom door lock click and everything felt silent for a moment. “I got it.” Shannon said and instantly went in and locked the door once again. About ten minutes later, the door finally opened again and Vanna finally came out with Shannon on her left. Her face looked pale with puffy and baggy eyes. In all the years I've known her, she'd never look this bad, she'd never been in so much pain. I ran up to her and gave her a hug. I felt another pair of arms around us, turning out to be Jaime’s. “It'll be okay, I promise.” He said softly.
“Good Morning.” I said to everyone as I stepped into the kitchen. “Morning.” I heard some reply. “Well you're up early.” I said Echo, who always ended waking last. “I had to, Josh is leaving after today and I wanted to spent more time with him.” She said while handing me a cup of chocolate milk. “And it's getting late, I told him I'd meet him for their acoustic set. I'm going now, so I'll see you later before our set.” She than stood up, gave the girls and I a quick hug and left. I looked at the couch to see Vanna who was resting her head on Jaime’s lap listening to whatever it was that he was saying and Shannon with Mike on the other. I sighed not knowing what to do. “So what's the plan for today ?” I asked Kevin who had just come out of the bathroom. “You guys will play a small set today in about two hours and then afterwards you guys are free for the day. I tried to make it an easy day for you guys especially for Vanna.” He said quietly as he sat across from me. I finished my donut and chocolate milk and went up to the girls at the couch. I sat on the floor since both the couches were being occupied at the moment. “Do you guys want to do anything today ?” I asked no one in particular. “What'd you have in mind Alligator ?” Mike asked while putting his arm around Shannon. “How about a movie ?” I asked. “It's too early for that.” Shannon groaned. “Then what ?” I asked trying to think of some ideas. “Maybe we could go on a boat.” Vanna said softly. Her voice was a little bit hoarse but I hadn't heard her speak since yesterday afternoon and that was rare from her, so I honestly couldn't care less. “Yes let's do that.” Jaime said giving Vanna a small smile.
****
“Thank you Oceanport!” I said into the microphone while walking out. “That was great girls, good job!” Kevin said while handing each of us a towel and water bottle. “I'm going to head out with Ellie today so I won't be in, be careful. I want all of you back before the busses start leaving, okay ?” Kevin said, looking specifically at Vanna and I with the last words he spoke. “Okay.” We all said in unison. The girls and I then walked back to the bus to freshened up and change clothes. I changed into this and put my clothes back in my bag. As I was putting them away, I noticed something shining from within. I looked through my racks of clothes to find a necklace (link). I recognized it right away, my grandma had given it to me before she'd passed away a few years before. “Ally hurry up!” I heard Shannon say from the front. I quickly put the necklace in my pocket and left. As we were walking I managed to get right next Vanna. “How's my partner in crime doing ?” I asked. “Okay so far.” She said. “Do you remember that time you had spent the night with my grandma and I and that big thunderstorm was going on. And we were were so scared that we hid in her closet.” I asked remembering that night. “Yes, oh my gosh!” She said looking a bit happy to remember it also. “She gave me this.” I said pulling out the necklace. “And she said as long as I had it, I was going to be just fine.” She looked at it. “I remember. It's so gorgeous.” She said admiring it now. “I want you to have it for now.” I said to her. “No I can't. Ally it's yours and your grandma’s.” She said. “And now it shall be yours. For now because I want it back someday.” I said chuckling lightly. She gave me a small smile and hugged me, “Thank you.”
****
“So warped tour’s ending soon....” Kellin trailed off quietly from our conversation. We were currently sitting on a deck near a lake waiting for the others to return from the McDonald's that was next to us so we could get in the boat for the rest of the afternoon. I placed my hand on top of his and looked towards him. “I know.” I said beginning to feel a little bit sad again. I didn't want this tour to end. I really didn't. He stood up and gave me his hand for me to take. “Ally look I don't know what do anymore.” He said looking straight into my eyes. “With what ?” I asked confused. “With us.” He answered quickly. I looked at him confused. What did he mean ? “I can't be ‘just friends’ anymore. I like you, I really do. That kiss we had, it was special. And with warped almost over, I just don't know how that leaves us.” He said while looking down. I nodded, understanding of our situation. “Ally, will you-” “Guys let's go!” I heard some of the others shout. I looked at him with apologetic look. “Can we talk later please ?” I asked. “Yeah of course.” He said. Afterwards we left, finally getting on our boat. Well this is going to be a long night.


Echo’s POV
I looked over the ocean as I felt the soft breeze roll over my face. It was nice to be away from all the commotion of tour.
Okay, we weren’t really away from all the commotion. Everyone on the boat was laughing really loud and Shannon was giggling while she was chased by Mike all over deck. But it was less loud than Warped grounds and it was good to be with all these nice people we wouldn’t see for a very long time after this. Only eleven cities left. It sounded like a lot, but it really wasn’t.
I looked around deck and took in what was all happening. At the other end of the boat were the guys of Sleeping with Sirens talking with Tony and Vic. Some of them were holding a beer and they were all wearing summer clothes.
Only a few beds away from me were Vanna and Jaime. They were cuddled into each other’s arms and it looked like Vanna was actually sort of happy. Let me rephrase that: she didn’t look sad this time.
At another corner of the boat Mike had finally caught up with Shannon and they were passionately kissing each other. She was leaning a bit over the rails and Mike had placed his hands on her back.
A few feet away from them, I saw a few guys from Motionless in White, Jack and Alex and Ally try to fish their ball out of the water with a fishnet. I shook my head laughing. They could’ve known the ball was going to end up in the water somehow.
No matter how much fun my friends seem to be in, I was right where I should be right now. I was lying on a beach bed with Josh, sitting in between his legs and his arms were around my waist. I guess I could get used to this. I felt content.
That was until Taylor walked up the deck and immediately headed for Alex. She tapped him on his shoulder and he turned around smiling. He placed a kiss on her lips and took her hand.
A pang of jealousy went through me. They had actually made it official a day ago. It was a bit soon if you’d ask me, but at the other hand tour just sped things up. Just look at Shannon and Mike. They were together very soon too.
I sighed and turned around so I was now facing Josh. I softly grinned as I saw him squeeze his eyes against the bright sun.
“I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone.” I said. “Do you really have to tour in the UK?” I pouted a little.
The corners of his smile curled up in his million dollar smile. “Gotta go back to my home country, mate.” He said exaggerating his English accent a little.
“Did you just call me ‘mate’?” I said laughing and he laughed along. “But seriously now. Are we going to see each other after Warped?”
I had finally asked the question that had been bugging me for longer. I had grown so fond of Josh, I would actually miss him when he was gone. I know it was going to be hard, I had experience with Alex touring all the time and Josh even lived in the UK, but it was going to be worth it, right?
Josh noticed that the conversation was heading in the serious direction and sat up a little more straight. “Yes, I think we should keep seeing each other.” He said and I smiled. “But as friends.”
That surprised me. I liked the thing that was going between us. I liked the attention and the hugs and we had so much fun. I actually thought that he would be my first real relationship. “Why?” I said quietly. It kind of hurt being turned down.
Josh looked down at his hands for a few seconds and then looked up at me again. He didn’t look hurt, he just sort of looked okay with it. “Because you’re in love with your best friend.” He said.
My heart dropped and then started beating really fast. I knew what he meant, but I tried to bend it into a joke anyway. “I’m not a lesbian actually.”
He chuckled and traced a piece of hair out of my face. “I don’t mean the girls. I mean your ex-best friend. You’re in love with Alex.” He said.
I looked down at my legs. I was shaking a little. Was Josh right? Was this what Alex did to me love? Yes, I wanted to be in Taylor’s place for some reason. When he left me I was totally broken and I had the uncontrollable urge to be close to him all the time. Even with the whole giving-each-other-space thing, I somehow found a way to be in his presence. I always came looking at his sets and always took a side cut to our bus so I could walk passed his. And I didn’t even realize I was doing all these things.
But love?
Josh sighed and took my hand in his. “Look Echo, I like you a lot and I know you like me, but you love him. And I need to let you go before I start to love you.” He said and I heard the sincerity in his voice.
“I don’t love him.” I said, but my voice was small and shaking. Everything I did seem to contradict my words. Why was I still fooling myself?
I looked behind me for second to see Alex laugh at something Jack was saying. His eyes were twinkling and the dimples in his cheek were visible. I knew so much about him, but somehow he could still surprise me.
Josh let out a small chuckle and I looked back at him. “It doesn’t have to end badly, you know. I know you think that this will end your friendship, but I honestly believe the best base for a relationship is friendship.” He said.
My mouth fell open slightly. How did he know I felt this way?
He chuckled again. “It’s your decision to do something with my advice, but I hope you do.” He said. “You deserve to be happy, Echo.”
“I’m still going to miss you.” I said and I threw my arms around his neck in a hug. I put my nose between his shoulder and neck.
I felt my arms around my waist and then he gently whispered against my hair: “I’m going to miss you too. I promise we’ll see each other again.”


Shannon POV
Mike broke the kiss we were sharing, and placed both of his hands on my hips then sighed. “I'm gonna miss this” he said with a sad smile. Honestly, I was going to miss it too, I mean who wouldn't? You and your boyfriend travelling the world, with your best friends doing something you love. “Well I live like an hour from you, and me and the girls are writing the new album and you guys are going on another tour..” I said trying to think of an idea. “I'm sure Kevin will let us have a few days off of writing before you guys go on tour” I said smiling. Mike smirked, and put both hands on the sides of my face “we will make this work” I nodded in agreement.
I had just gone to get my phone out of my bag, when I saw an envelope. I smiled, grabbed my phone and the envelope, I shoved my phone into my pocket and still had hold of the envelope in my hand as we slowly docked back up to the place where the boat first left from.
We all walked off the boat and just as we did ally shouted over the talking “GUYS GUYS SHHHHH” we all became silent and looked towards her. “Me, the girls and pierce have to go”. We all made a grunting sound but obeyed Ally, we saw her talking to Kellin before we left and our bands started following Ally, “so where exactly are you taking us?” She didn't reply so we just remained silent for the rest of the journey until we made it to a recording studio. “Who's recording studio is this?” Vanna asked looking as confused as all of us while she clung to Jaimes arm. Ally shrugged and said “Kevin told me to get us all and walk in to room 12A” I nodded “great, we are going to die” echo had pushed me, as I regained my balance I glared at her “what was that for?” She laughed “I don't know just trying to knock some sense back into you” I laughed and pushed her back, as we trailed behind the rest of the group into room 12A.
When Vic had knocked on we heard Kevin telling us to come in so that is what we did. When we walked in we saw Kevin, Ellie, Atls manager and pierces manager. I tried to back out of the room but felt mike's arm make his way around my waist stopping me. I muttered “fuck”. “Whatever they have done, I am not apart of it” I said extremely quickly. All the group just looked at me and Ellie laughed. “I just wanted to have a nice catch up with my girls after being with Kevin for today, but he had a meeting so we mixed them together. Kevin also told me that a few things have happened with these boys as well and I thought why not have a big group catch up”.
When Ellie says Kevin has a meeting, she means Kevin wants to talk to other managers about random shit but doesn't want to get told off for it. We all were extremely happy with the idea and took our places in the room. Everyone started talking to Ellie telling her what has gone on and she was being introduced to the boys.
I stood up and walked over to Kevin. I tapped his shoulder and he knew I wanted to talk to him in private. He told the other group of men that he would be back in a second. He walked behind me as I led him into the far corner of the room. “I have something for you”. I held out the card.
*flashback*
To Kevin,
You have been there for me since day one of left for dead being signed, you are my father figure and I want to thank you for giving me that figure in my life to look up too. You look after us all and I'm sure that my parents would thank you for looking after their baby, I'm honestly so grateful and I couldn't ask for a better guardian
Love Shannon
Xxx
He had just finished reading the card and he was smiling widely while tears fell stray from his eye. He looked up to me and I smiled he gave me the most loving hug I have ever felt. Kevin is basically my dad, he mind as well be. “Thank you” he said as he let go from the hug. I just wiped the stray tear that had fallen over my cheeks and nodded.
Vanna-
The trees blurred my vision, but I looked at the beautiful sunset right behind them. Jaime had his arms wrapped around me, as I sat in between his legs. The boys were sitting on the table, looking at social media.
“you okay?” Jaime asks, grabbing my hair and putting it to one side.
“yeah. I'm okay.” I did feel okay, I honestly did. The trip to the lake and the boat was what we all needed. What I needed. I don't even remember saying let's go to the boat.
“good” he kisses the back of my head and I sigh, leaning into him. “what’s up?”
“Are you gonna be able to go to the funeral?” I asked him, not looking at anyone. He sighs and sits up straighter so his body is leaning towards mine.
“I'm really gonna try okay? I will do everything in my power to be there with you.” I nod and felt a bit sad, having his support would mean the world to me, but I will have the girls and my parents there too, but having the boys will be an extra arm to hold on too. “I promise” I nod and turn around to face him. He grabs my face and wipes the few tears that have escaped. He crosses his legs and look straight at me. His hands still cupping my face“don't want you crying anymore, okay? Damien would want you to be strong and smile remembering him.” I nod and sighed. He was right. Everybody was right. My stubborn heart just closed itself. Damien would be pissed if I was a wreck for him. he hated me crying, but I couldn't help it. He leans in to kiss my nose and I push him slightly. I hated nose kisses. And he obviously knows that. They were weird, your nose bad boogers and it's all sweaty. Jaime laughs and leans again, but I moved away, smiling.
“no nose kisses.” I warned him, and he nods, smiling. I think that was his job. Making me smile. I hit him softly, and the boys smile as he pulls me, making me land on him.
“get a room” Tony commented and I flick him off. Mike, Vic and Jaime laughs while Tony looked hurt.
“and she's back.” Vic says, and I looked at Jaime’s eyes reflected the small shine of my eyes.
“did it work?” I give him a quick peck and said nothing.
It worked.
*****
We arrived at DC, and it was nasty humid. I walk towards my bus, leaving my sleeping boyfriend in his bus and open the door. The girls are just getting up and smiled as they saw me walk inside.
“Morning” I said, smiling at them. I had so much to apologize to them, but I think that can wait for later.
“how you feeling?” Echo asked, surprised that this little one was awake early again.
“I'm feeling okay. Yesterday was very much needed.” Kevin appears from the back and I walk up to him.
“How are you, Vanna?”
“I'm good.” he looks straight into my eyes and smiles.
“That's my girl.” He ruffles my hair and I walk to the back, changing out of the pajamas I now stole from Jaime into the clothes that were laid out in my bunk. (link)
“WHO PICKED OUT MY OUTFIT?!” I yelled, putting on a shirt.
“WE ALL DID!” the three girls yelled, and I shake my head, laughing. These girls are something else. Tying my shoes, I feel the door open and look up, seeing everybody standing there.
“What?” They smile at me and I stand up, which was a cue to make my best friends attack me with a hug.
“Wwe’re happy to see you, better.”
“and I'm sorry. I acted so bad to you guys, I just wanted…” I got interrupted by Shannon putting her hand on my mouth. I frown.
“you had your reason, and trust me it hurt us do much to see you laying there soon broken, but we also know you're a tough girl and you were gonna be okay.” I smile widely, and Shannon takes off her hand as I pass tiny tongue on it. She wipes it off on my shirt , giving me a disgusted look.
“nasty bitch” she mumbled.
“you love it.” I whisper back at her as I hug her and lick her face.
“VANNA!” Ally and Echo laugh as I make well more like run my way outside. Shannon continues to yell at me. I laughed and continued to run, until I was out of breath. Damn. I need to start to work out again.
****
vannalfd: These past few days have been the worst days in my entire life. A few days ago, my older and only brother, Damien, passed away on duty. Yes my brother was in the army. I had never been this low in my life before and I was emotionally and physically drained, but slowly becoming aware that I was just hurting those around me, I had to keep my chin up and look brightly forward. Damien would have want that. Rest Easy, D. Keep the creeps away from me.
I press the publish button and wait till my first instagram photo uploads to my page. Kevin puts his hand out and I give him my phone before the guitar tech hands my guitar to me.
“Let's kill this” Shannon said.
“Go luck!” Kevin said, giving us all a hug, and squeezing me.
“Thanks Kevin.” he smiles and pushes me lightly to the stage where I receive the sight of the fans with a big smile.
“LETS GET THIS STARTED!” I yelled and the crowd yelled. I put my fingers on the string and strum the first note to our set.
This blue hair bitch is back, with the life of my brother inside of me.


Ally's POV
“Can we go out ? It's hot!” I exclaimed while walking around the girls as they stood by the door. They were forming a little circle with what seemed Echo’s iPad in the middle of them. I looked over Vanna’s shoulder. “What you doing there ?” I asked while taking a small chocolate candy out of Echo’s hand. “Heyy!” She said while grabbing another out of her pocket. I shot her a smile and began eating it. They turned back to whatever it was that they were doing. “Guysss!” I cried out for the one hundredth time. “What!” They all replied back turning back. “Let's go out.” I said. “Uhm I don't know.” Echo replied nervously. “No. Yeah, let's go out girls.” Vanna said quickly after while looking at the girls and giving them some weird type of look. I looked at the carefully, what's going on here ? “Actually Echo and I were about to head out to do that one thing, remember ?” Vanna said. “Oh Yeahh! That thing!” Echo answered looking a bit confused but going along with it. “What thing ?” I asked. “Nothing! Shannon, you help Ally.” Vanna said while grabbing Echo’s hand and running out.
“Why did the banana go to the doctor ?” I asked Shannon. “I don't know Ally, why ?” She asked, clearly running out of patience with me. “Because it wasn't peeling well.” I said laughing. “Thats your worst one yet.” She said but chuckling a little at it. “Shan, where are we going exactly ? I told you the ice cream place was on the other side.” I said as she pulled me to walk faster. We had been walking around the venue for the past fifteen minutes in what seemed circles. “No reason and I think they have ice cream over here also.” She answered quickly. I knew she was lying, her voice speeds up when she's nervous or something is going on with her. “Tell meeee.” I said in a little kid’s voice. No answer came. “Fine. Shannon how do you organize a space party ?” I asked. I know she absolutely hated my jokes and this was my torture to her. “Not again!” She groaned making me laugh at her. “You planet.” I answered. “Ally I love you so much but I'm this close to pushing you down a cliff right now.” She said while putting her fingers close together making me giggle. “You're not drinking coffee or eating candy ever again.” She said. “Oh finally! You're here.” a voice from behind us said, whom I recognized to be Tony’s. I turned to see the PTV guys along with Vanna and Echo. “Thank god! She was driving me insane!” Shannon cried out while walking up to Mike. “I love you too Shannon.” I said, giggling at her. We stood behind the front stage, talking.
I looked to my right to see the merch tent of ‘Memphis May Fire’. “Ah come with me!” I said excitedly. I quickly grabbed Echo’s hand and practically dragged her with me towards the tent. “I need to get a shirt.” I said quickly while looking through them. “This one ?” Their merch guy asked me. “Yes. Thank you.” I answered taking the shirt and smiling in pure satisfaction. I began stepping back which made me bump into two other people who in my relief were just Vic and Tony. “Oh sorry I-” I apologized but stopped as soon as both of them began picking me up. “What the hell, guys!?” I yelped, but neither would stop to let me down. “You're too slow.” Tony joked. “We're helping you cheat.” Vic added. “What ?” I asked, confused on what the hell they were trying to do. Both of them dropped me beside of the main stage before quickly running off. “My shirt!” I whined as they took my ‘Memphis May Fire’ shirt. “Come back!” I yelled while trying to get up. “Hey Ally.” Rian from ATL said, chuckling as he helped me up. “Here to see the show ?” He asked while stretching out his hands with both drumsticks on his hand. “I actually have no idea but since you guys are playing, I'll stay.” I said giving him a small smile. “Yaaay you're here!” I heard Jack say in excitement while giving me a hug. “Alright guys you're on now.” Their manager said. “Good Luck!” I said to them before they all ran onto the stage. “Hello Washington!” Alex said into the microphone.
“Hey.” Someone said as they poked my left side stomach. I turned to see the lovely blue-green eyed boy. “Kellin.” I said as happiness began taking over me all over again. He gave me a hug and a slightly small kiss on my cheek. I smiled while looking away. As I looked away I noticed all PTV and the girls on the other side of the stage looking over at us. As they noticed me looking, they all peeked over ATL to look at Kellin and I. They all began smiling, nodding and giving me thumbs up from there. What idiots, I thought while smiling and rolling my eyes at them. He than wrapped his arm around me as ‘Remembering Sunday’ began playing. Loads of screams from the fans as Alex started singing. I smiled, this was one of my favorite songs from them. Kellin then stepped back and grabbed me by the waist as we began slow dancing a little. I blushed looking at him. “This is so cheesy.” I giggled. He shrugged in agreement and began chuckling a bit. “Let me guess, the girls helped you out with this right ?” I asked. “The boys also.” He answered honestly. I laughed while shaking my head. “Of course they did.” Afterwards we continued on dancing and even joined in with the singing.
‘Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I didn't mean to be a bother, But have you seen this girl ?
She's been running through my dreams and it's driving me crazy, it seems.
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
I looked back at him smiling like a fool. “Ally, I've been meaning to ask you. Will you be my girlfriend ?” Kellin asked softly, I could hear a small shake in his voice. I began nodding and smiling widely at him, probably looking stupid. “Yes.” I answered barely audible. He picked me up and began spinning me around. I heard the crowd began cheering again. I had no idea if they had been watching us or if it was for the band but boy, was this an amazing day.

Notes