Deathbeds
I Swear I'll Never Let You Down Again
Lacie
It felt strangely good hanging out with Oli again, talking like we were friends. There was always going to be something there telling me that it’s not meant to be this way, but sometimes things just happen life gets in the way of everything, and looking back there was no way that me and Oli could work out back then. I was a fuck up and Oli was rarely ever here, I still don’t think that we could be together I still have my own issues to deal with and I couldn’t cope with not seeing him for long periods of time. Being friends was okay.
I wasn’t sure if I was just trying to tell myself that to make things better, but there was some truth behind it. I don’t blame him anymore.
“Lace”
I looked up to Oliver looking at me, I guess I had been ignoring him for 5 minutes; he gave me a questionable look, we had been sat in a park for the past hour after he took me to breakfast he didn’t want me to go home, he wanted to catch up and I accepted happily any time with him was better than none.
“What’s going on in there?”
He pointed to my head.
“Nothing Oli, I was just thinking”
“About..?”
“Us, and how I didn’t think we would have worked out even if we stayed together”
“What do you mean?” He nervously laughed
“Well I was a fuck up, and you well you weren’t going to be here most of the time. There was no way it would have worked is there?”
“I don’t know Lacie, stop thinking about it because we will never know that, it will just get to you more. All that matters is that we are here now, friends finally. I was a complete idiot back then and I regret so much that happened but if I kept thinking about what could have happened I would have driven myself insane. So don’t let’s just look forward now yeah?”
“I know, but siting here with you just made me think about the past, I’m not sure how to let you back into my life properly yet Oli, It’s hard for me you know? I can’t see you walk out of it again, I will trust you again, just not right now okay?”
“Of course I knew it was going to take more than me just stalking you in your workplace to get you to trust me, I can’t promise you that I won’t leave again soon but it won’t be for good just until I finish a tour but I can promise I will never voluntarily walk away from you again, now you have my number we can talk whenever you want.”
“Thank you Oli, just for understanding, now tell me what’s your life been like since?”
“It’s been okay had its ups and downs that’s for sure, we thought the band were over at one point, it was all too much, we weren’t getting anywhere you know how long we fought for this. Then we brought the album out and it took off now we go touring the small pubs and clubs around just to get some recognition. We always knew it was going to be hard, but we’ve got our heads screwed on a lot more now. Apart from the band there isn’t a lot going on. I have a girlfriend we’ve been together for 2 years but we hardly ever see each other even when I’m home. That’s it really, pretty boring right?”
He giggled slightly making my heart flutter.
“That’s not boring, it’s more interesting than my life has been, I’m glad you never gave up you guys sound great and yes I’ve listened to you. I’m your biggest fan remember? That band is your life you deserve everything good that comes out of it; just don’t take it for granted though yeah? Remember that the first few years of touring because you’ll only be able to fill out those small pubs and clubs once. Then you’ll become way too big and never take your fans for granted either, they’ve been there in your first years. Remember them”
“You remembered that? Didn’t I tell you to remind me of that before took my feet off the ground? And every time I was going to go on tour? That’s sweet. I love it. So what has Miss Lacie-Rose been doing with her life then?”
“Yeah I remembered that, it was important to you. Although that is the first time I’ve ever been able to use it. Literally working at the coffee shop, although I am in college but it’s the summer break, so it’s just been work work work really. The place drives me insane but I couldn’t afford to live without it. I don’t talk to my parents anymore; I don’t want to bore you with the story right now though another day. Just got out of a relationship, didn’t last long though they never do. That’s it though I’m pretty boring.”
When I spoke to anyone about my parents a lump would form in my throat and anger slightly rise up I don’t think Oli was the right person to take that out on, not yet anyway.
“I don’t think you’re boring, you’ve just got a boring job, you and your parents never really got on though right? I’m sure you will find someone, why don’t they last long if you don’t mind me asking?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer his last question considering it was partly to do with me still having feelings for him, I’d have to lie to him, and I couldn’t tell him that.
“I guess we didn’t, but I seriously don’t want to talk about them right now, make me too angry and I don’t want to take it out on you again. They just, never have really since leaving school I’ve tried honest but it doesn’t click its fine for a few weeks but then it just fizzles out. Shouldn’t you be heading home?”
Oli ignored the last part for the question he let out a sigh, like he didn’t want to leave but he knew it was the right thing to do. He reluctantly got up and held a hand out to me I accepted it and let him help me up. It was nice being able to spend some real time with him and my hang over had completely disappeared.
It felt strangely good hanging out with Oli again, talking like we were friends. There was always going to be something there telling me that it’s not meant to be this way, but sometimes things just happen life gets in the way of everything, and looking back there was no way that me and Oli could work out back then. I was a fuck up and Oli was rarely ever here, I still don’t think that we could be together I still have my own issues to deal with and I couldn’t cope with not seeing him for long periods of time. Being friends was okay.
I wasn’t sure if I was just trying to tell myself that to make things better, but there was some truth behind it. I don’t blame him anymore.
“Lace”
I looked up to Oliver looking at me, I guess I had been ignoring him for 5 minutes; he gave me a questionable look, we had been sat in a park for the past hour after he took me to breakfast he didn’t want me to go home, he wanted to catch up and I accepted happily any time with him was better than none.
“What’s going on in there?”
He pointed to my head.
“Nothing Oli, I was just thinking”
“About..?”
“Us, and how I didn’t think we would have worked out even if we stayed together”
“What do you mean?” He nervously laughed
“Well I was a fuck up, and you well you weren’t going to be here most of the time. There was no way it would have worked is there?”
“I don’t know Lacie, stop thinking about it because we will never know that, it will just get to you more. All that matters is that we are here now, friends finally. I was a complete idiot back then and I regret so much that happened but if I kept thinking about what could have happened I would have driven myself insane. So don’t let’s just look forward now yeah?”
“I know, but siting here with you just made me think about the past, I’m not sure how to let you back into my life properly yet Oli, It’s hard for me you know? I can’t see you walk out of it again, I will trust you again, just not right now okay?”
“Of course I knew it was going to take more than me just stalking you in your workplace to get you to trust me, I can’t promise you that I won’t leave again soon but it won’t be for good just until I finish a tour but I can promise I will never voluntarily walk away from you again, now you have my number we can talk whenever you want.”
“Thank you Oli, just for understanding, now tell me what’s your life been like since?”
“It’s been okay had its ups and downs that’s for sure, we thought the band were over at one point, it was all too much, we weren’t getting anywhere you know how long we fought for this. Then we brought the album out and it took off now we go touring the small pubs and clubs around just to get some recognition. We always knew it was going to be hard, but we’ve got our heads screwed on a lot more now. Apart from the band there isn’t a lot going on. I have a girlfriend we’ve been together for 2 years but we hardly ever see each other even when I’m home. That’s it really, pretty boring right?”
He giggled slightly making my heart flutter.
“That’s not boring, it’s more interesting than my life has been, I’m glad you never gave up you guys sound great and yes I’ve listened to you. I’m your biggest fan remember? That band is your life you deserve everything good that comes out of it; just don’t take it for granted though yeah? Remember that the first few years of touring because you’ll only be able to fill out those small pubs and clubs once. Then you’ll become way too big and never take your fans for granted either, they’ve been there in your first years. Remember them”
“You remembered that? Didn’t I tell you to remind me of that before took my feet off the ground? And every time I was going to go on tour? That’s sweet. I love it. So what has Miss Lacie-Rose been doing with her life then?”
“Yeah I remembered that, it was important to you. Although that is the first time I’ve ever been able to use it. Literally working at the coffee shop, although I am in college but it’s the summer break, so it’s just been work work work really. The place drives me insane but I couldn’t afford to live without it. I don’t talk to my parents anymore; I don’t want to bore you with the story right now though another day. Just got out of a relationship, didn’t last long though they never do. That’s it though I’m pretty boring.”
When I spoke to anyone about my parents a lump would form in my throat and anger slightly rise up I don’t think Oli was the right person to take that out on, not yet anyway.
“I don’t think you’re boring, you’ve just got a boring job, you and your parents never really got on though right? I’m sure you will find someone, why don’t they last long if you don’t mind me asking?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer his last question considering it was partly to do with me still having feelings for him, I’d have to lie to him, and I couldn’t tell him that.
“I guess we didn’t, but I seriously don’t want to talk about them right now, make me too angry and I don’t want to take it out on you again. They just, never have really since leaving school I’ve tried honest but it doesn’t click its fine for a few weeks but then it just fizzles out. Shouldn’t you be heading home?”
Oli ignored the last part for the question he let out a sigh, like he didn’t want to leave but he knew it was the right thing to do. He reluctantly got up and held a hand out to me I accepted it and let him help me up. It was nice being able to spend some real time with him and my hang over had completely disappeared.
Notes
So A lot of lacie and Oli time right now. Next chapter will be in Oli's P.O.V
Don't think it will all be, smooth sailing for these too. It never is.
Please point out if there are any obvious mistakes!
-Kay
Lacie's outfit
Lol well I'm glad he's okay.
Ik it was too good to hope they started getting close. They gave things to work out and she doesn't trust him. But I hope they can be happy eventually, or at least not let this drag them down
1/7/16