Repeating Apologies

I haven't really talked about my parents much, not since I ran away, wrecking the house in the process too, which to this day, still makes me a laugh a little. They had never really tried getting into contact with me but the more I think about it the more I come to realize that, how could they? I was in a camp, I ran away, and got on a plane before they knew it. They would have no idea where I was, if I was safe or even alive. I didn't know if I should get into contact with them because it would have to be me that does it first. Would they even care?
I talked to Aaron about it a couple of times and he always told me the same thing "Call them. Just let them know you're safe" and its taken me this long to realize that I really do need to do that. I guessed they still had the same number, I very much doubted that they would have moved. I waited until I was on my own to do this. Austin and Aaron went out, no idea why, they just said they'd be back in a bit, they looked real excited but I just brushed it off.
There was a couple of rings before I heard the voice I hadn't heard for quite some time.
"Hello, Ashby residence?" It was my mom. Her voice almost sounded sweet, I must admit that I kind of missed them. No matter what they did, they're still my parents.
I hesitated to answer for a while, but I had to. I had to do this.
"M-Mom?" I shakily replied.
There was silence and I heard a annoyed sigh, the one she always used to do when I did something wrong.
"Mom?" She questioned. "You dare call me mom! After what you did! I don't think so Alan" she growled down the phone and in that moment my heart broke. I was speechless. "You are not my son" and with that spiteful statement, she hung up.
My phone slid from out of my hand and onto the floor with a thud, my mouth agape and those steamy tears escaping my eyes. I was purely speechless, heartbroken and I felt lost. I had no family.
They rejected me, after all these years, I thought at least they'd ask if I was safe but, instead, i'm dead to them. My legs suddenly turned weak and I felt as if I couldn't hold my body weight anymore and along with my phone, I too crashed to the floor.
I wept for hours upon hours. i have no idea how long I was there for but I couldn't hold back my tears or my sobs. I heard the front door click and the laughter of my roommates but before they could call my name I locked my bedroom door, sealing me in. I didn't want to talk to anybody, I just wanted to fade away. Maybe it is stupid, keeping to myself after that, maybe I should've just ran out the door and straight into Austins arms, but something kept me from doing that.
I crawled into my bed, and sobbed some more, muffling the noise with my covers.
"Alan?" I heard Austin shouted throughout our apartment, I heard a knock on my door and Aaron call my name, right outside. There were silent mumbles between them. The most I heard was "I think he's in there" from Aaron.
What came next was a hefty knock from Austin, and him asking for me. He tried the door handle only to realise it was useless. There were some more knocks and calls but I just couldn't bring myself to open it. I squinted my eyes closed and tried so hard to just be somewhere else, be my parent's idol son for once, to feel the love from my parents, something I hadn't had for a while. But maybe, I deserved this.
There was silence around and then a massive crash. I looked up slightly to see that my door had nearly broke off the hinges, Austin came running through and looked around for me. He slowly walked towards my bed and crawled next to me, I tried to stop my tears but I couldnt. His face dropped and he lifted me up, cradling me in his arms as I sobbed more.
He didn't ask me what was wrong, he barely spoke a word, just the simple words I love to hear when things get rough. "It will be okay"
I lay in his arms almost 15 minutes before I could move myself. What if I was being pathetic? And there was no need to be like this.
He softly caressed my cheek and placed a small kiss on my forehead. "Whats happened?" he asked. I knew this question was coming and I knew no matter what i'd have to tell him. "I- I rang them"
Austin furrowed his eyebrows and muttered "Rang wh-" but cut himself off in realisation "What did they say?" he asked.
I rubbed my eyes, getting rid of the tears that just fell and tried to organise myself. "I'm dead to them"
Austin was slightly taken back from what I had just said and wasn't sure what else to say, so instead, what he did was what I think I needed more. He wrapped his arms around me again, bringing me in close and squeezing me, almost like he was never letting me go, and in some ways, it made me feel better. I hid my head in the crook of his neck and let out whatever tears were left, managing to sob the words "I ha-have no family" and that's when his grip loosened.
"Hey, i'm your family, the guys, are your family" he looked me straight in eye and I hadn't seen him this serious for a while. He wiped the last of my tears off my cheeks and kissed me softly. "I love you Alan, okay? I'll always be here and I'll always be your family"
I nodded my head, in all honesty, his words made me feel better, I had never thought about them that way, and the same with him. I had never thought of them as family, but I guess they were.
"Your parents are the ones missing out, okay? I'm- We're all so grateful to have you in our lives and I was just as stupid for letting you go the first time"
I felt the corners of my mouth tugging, I felt better, a lot better. I sighed and pulled him in for one last hug.
"Anything you want babe?" he asked softly. I shook my head as my grip loosened from him. "Okay, well, just call me if you want anything" he smiled and kissed my forehead. He slowly left the room, looking awkwardly at the door he broke and then swiftly walking towards the kitchen.
I smiled as he walked away, even though my family didn't want me, someone did. He did, and I guess that's all that matters right now.

Notes