My Understandings

So. I was going to a party. Parties really weren't my kind of thing, i've never drunk alcohol and i just don't really like people. I put tank shirt on with a red beanie, black jeans and some vans on and walked out of the house to meet Austin. I told my parents that there was a bible meeting or something. They were so easy to fool. Austin was wearing pretty much the same as me, a black tank shirt and a black beanie. He opened the door to his Jeep for me and then got in himself the other-side. We set off and when we were off the same street as my house he kissed me, like he would when he greets me. Throughout the journey my legs and arms were shaking and I had to keep taking deep breathes. Austin looked over to me and gave an apologetic look before placing his hand on my knee and squeezing it softly to reassure me. "I know you don't like things like this, but trust me, everything will be okay" When he said everything would be okay he meant it, there wasn't one time where it wasn't okay. ------- Austin POV As soon as I pulled up infront of the house the party was at I unbuckled my belt and gave Alan a reassuring kiss. I couldn't help but feel bad that I was dragging him to this party that he didn't want to be at but I kind of needed him to be here. We walked to the door of the house and before I opened the door I took hold of Alans hand and squeezed it gently. "Everything will be okay kitten" he looked up at me and gave me a nervous smile. We let go of each others hand and walked into the house, Jaxin was stood at the stair waiting for me, giving me a stoic look. Chris came over to talk to Alan to my relief. I didn't want Jaxin to say what he was going to say in-front of Alan. "Austin, when are you going to say something? We've already stayed longer than planned. We were supposed to leave last week" I took a deep breath. It broke my heart but it was true, I was supposed to leave this town a week ago, thats what we had planned but I kept extending it, to stay with Alan a little while longer. I didn't know how to tell him I had to leave. "I'll tell him tonight" I announced to him. He nodded his head in concern "The sooner we get back the better Aust" I nodded my head slowly. ----------- For Alan not having tried alcohol before he sure did seem to like it. He had a couple of bottles and bless him, he was such a lightweight. He didn't actually stay by me most of the night, I went to talk to a friend of mine from a while back, she forgave me for everything I said to her and it made me happy, some people were starting to accept me again. Whilst I was in mid-conversation with her, Alan fell into me, giggling and smiling "Auuust" He slurred. I laughed at him and propped him up by his shoulders. I looked at my friend who was laughing at him. "His first alcohol encounter" I admitted to her and she just giggled to herself. "He's cute Aust" She winked at me. I nodded my head at her before going to take the bottle out of Alans had, he didn't want to give it up easy but he had already drunk too much. "C'mon kitten, you've had enough" He shook his head at me and refused to hand the bottle over. I turned to my friend "Sorry about this" She laughed and said goodbye to me after saying "Don't be too rough on him tonight" and she sent a wink my way. I laughed at her, she was the one that usually always made dirty jokes, when in reality, I don't think Alan was ready for that yet. I lifted him up and sat him on the kitchen counter so he could look at me face to face. "Alan, I need the bottle" "Nno you ddont you dont drink" he smiled goofily "I don't but I need the bottle." He shook his head at me with the same goofy smile as before "Kitten, for me, give me the bottle" He sighed at me and handed it over, I smiled at him before he blurted something out. "YYknow whenn you call me kkitten it makes my knees weak" he pointed to his knees. Aw, thats adorable. Looks like i'll be using that word a little more then. "Was that yyour ex girlfrriend ausstin?" he asked I furrowed my eyebrows at him and shook my head. "Alan, I'm gay remember" He grinned at me "tthat means you're all mine right" I nodded my head at him with a small smile. He was kind of cute when he was drunk. He lurched himself forward, wrapping his arms around my neck and whispering in my ear "Shhow it" before letting out a little giggle. Okay, so this is the boy who said he was scared for his first time and had never tried alcohol. As much as I wanted to actually make love to him, it'd be wrong. Not now. He's drunk and doesn't know what he's doing, I know hes not ready. I let out a sigh and he continued. "Pleease. I-I'm reaady nnow" I could feel him smile and let his head sink into my shoulder. I shook my head gently and him and pushed him back calmly so he would look into my eyes. "Alan, look at me" He did so promptly I was trying to keep focus on his eyes but they were rolling around everywhere. "Alan, you're drunk and you're not ready. I know you're not" He shook his head at me "You don't wawant to do it wwith me do-do you?" I let out another sigh, this is why I don't drink, it plays tricks on your mind. "Alan, its not that, of course I would love to but i'm not doing for your sake." He shook his head at me yet again before jumping off the counter and stumbling towards the door, he turned around to me to say "Whatever" bitchily. Great, he was mardy at me because I wouldn't make love to him. In his drunken state it wouldn't be classed as making love because he had no idea what was going on, he wouldnt be 100% there. I knew he wasn't ready and I wasn't just about to take advantage of him. If we were to do it, i wanted it to be special for him, something he won't forget. Whether we'd actually get to that point is a different story though. I had to leave and he didn't know. I didn't know how he'd react. I took the bottle that he had been drinking and poured the drink down the sink. I proceeded to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge for him. I walked into the living room to try and find him but he wasn't there. I asked around and people said they hadn't seen him. I looked upstairs to see if he'd been able to actually get up there. He was mardy with me so he wouldn't want me to find him, he'd most likely be doing something he'd regret so I had to find him. I opened a couple of doors to find some other couple making out and each time I closed the door straight away. I got to the last door, it was at the end of the corridor, I pressed my ear to the door and I heard his voice. "Wwoah nnoono" he mumbled. I instantly flung the door open to see Alan sat in the corner of the room and some guy unzipping his pants. I looked between the two of them and anger just started to build up in my veins. My head was full of rage. This prick was going to take advantage of MY Alan. Couldn't he see that he was drunk and wasn't himself but he was still going to try things with him. Who the fuck was this guy, I wasn't even thinking about why Alan was even in here with him, I guess because he was so mad with me for not coming up here with him he went to find someone who would. I couldn't be mad at him too much, after-all he was drunk and he wasn't in control of his brain, the alcohol was. I threw the bottle of water down to the floor as the guy zipped his trousers back up again. "What the hell do you think you're doing man" he shouted at me. He had no idea how mad I was. I felt the veins on my neck almost pop out of my skin, my blood was pumping fast and my breathing was heavier. I charged up to him and without question swung my fist at him, as soon as it collided with his chin he collapsed on the floor. He really wasn't expecting it, I couldn't help myself now, i was so mad, he was about to take advantage of Alan. I pelted my foot into his stomach repeatedly until he was crying for me to stop. I stopped when I was sufficient he had taken a good hit. I turned my attention to Alan who was in the corner of the room covering his face up with his hands and silently sobbing. I looked at scumbag that lay on the floor and growled. I was starting to calm down now, I needed to talk to Alan though. "Get the fuck out douchebag" I growled at the guy on the floor. He did what I told him to straight away. I slammed the door behind him and then Alan. His sobs were louder now and my heart rate was back to normal. I should'nt get so angry like that. I had been diagnosed with Marfan Syndrome a while back, which is why i'm so tall and dangly. It also affects my heart. So when I get over worked it could affect my heart, which isn't good. I walked over to Alan quietly and crouched down in-front of him. "Alan" I said softly, he shook his head and refused to look at me. "Alan its okay" "No its not" he mumbled to himself. "Its not okay and I'm sorry" I think the shock of some stranger nearly shoving his dick in his mouth sobered him up a little bit because he was talking properly now. "I'm sorry Austin, pl-please don't hate me" I shook my head softly and put a hand on his knee. "Alan look at me" He sniffled and slowly raised his head. His face was red roar, his eyes were puffy and he looked like he had seen a ghost. I gently put my hand on his jaw and stroke his cheek with my thumb. "Its okay Alan" His face melted into my hand and he calmed down. I carefully sat down in front of him ensuring my hand kept in the same place. "We don't have to talk about this now" I confessed. If he didnt want talk about it that was okay I didn't want to force him to do anything he didn't want to. Which is exactly why I didn't take him upstairs. "And i'll never hate you kitten" He looked up to me slowly and launched himself forward to me, clutching hold of my shirt like his life depended on it, he hid his face in my chest "I'm sorry" I pulled him onto my lap to make it more comfortable for him, he folded his legs and rested them on the floor whilst he was sat in my lap. I kissed the top of his head and rocked him side to side slowly. I put a hand on his back and slowly rubbed it up and down. "Its okay" i cooed trying to calm him down. "i've got you kitten" i kissed the top of his head again then pulled my head back so he would look at me. He looked up at me "Smile for me Alan" I just wanted to see that adorable smile on his face again. He shook his head slowly and yawned. His eyes were closing slowly, he was tired and i don't blame him. It'd been quite a night for him. "Lets get you to a bed then" I scooped him up wedding style and took him to the room where I was staying. It was Jaxin's family house and I was staying here so I thought the best place would to be there. There was a couple in there making out but I told them to beat it straight away and they did. I pulled the covers off the bed and laid him down gently. I sat on the side of the bed running my hand through his hair. He didn't look stressed anymore or panicked. He was peaceful. Asleep but peaceful. I felt like I should probably change him so he wasn't uncomfortable, its not always comfy sleeping in jeans. I took his shoes off and placed them on the floor and went to my suitcase and grabbed a random shirt. It was just a random element shirt that was defiantly too big for him, but normally bigger shirts are comfier. I remember he told me that when he sleeps he doesn't like trousers on, just boxers and a shirt. It was when we was playing 20 questions because we actually did that a lot. We feld like it was the best way to find out the little things about each other. I unzipped his jeans and slid them off his legs quietly. I noticed that he had some faded scars on his legs, I didn't realize how many he had though. I slid the cover over his legs and gently sliped his shirt over his head without waking him, he must've been really tired. I grabbed my shirt and put it on him slowly making sure not to disturb him. I folded his clothes and put them in a pile on the bedside table and brought the cover over his body. I didn't want him to get cold and I wanted him to be comfortable. Before I stood up I moved my head next to his and kissed his temple. "You're making this a lot harder for me kitten" I sat up after kissing him one last time, and walked over to the door, then flicked the light switch and closed the door gently behind me. I wasn't in the mood to go talk to anyone anymore. I had just kicked the shit out of some dude after Alan nearly got a random dick in his mouth. This was all a mistake. I sat outside the door making sure than no one was to disturb him or even think about going in the room. I spent all night there, most people had left the house but some were still here. Jaxin walked up the stairs and noticed me falling asleep outside my door and he crouched down next to me. I knew what he was going to say and I didn't want to hear it.

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