Too Young To Live This Way

(A/N- continue right where left off)
''But... you know I can't tell my Mom right?'' Alan mumbles, looking up at me anxiously.
''Um... okay, fair enough... You will tell her eventually though, right?'' I ask carefully.
''Sure, yeah... just not yet.'' He replies, snuggling closer into my neck. I rest my chin on his forehead. I'm so happy right now, but just trying to ignore the slight sadness, that he still doesn't want to tell his Mom. But, I guess I understand how he feels, but it's still slightly saddening. Well, it's much better than how I felt last week, when I didn't know whether he liked me or not, and I was having a brain meltdown.

I wake up at 10:00 the next morning, but Alan is still asleep. He's lying on his side, cheek pressed into my shoulder, while I lay on my back, an arm under his back. While I watch, Alan twitches slightly, and his entire body tenses up. His slightly smiling mouth turns down, and he screws his face up. He starts twitching again, his whole body quivering. After a moment or so of his whimpering, he goes completely still and stiff. A long minute later, he blinks his eyes open.
''Morning Austin!'' He yawns, blinking slightly.
''Morning Alan... are you okay? You looked like you were having a nightmare or something.'' I ask curiously.
''Oh no... I'm fine, I just get twitchy sometimes. It happens a lot actually.'' He smiles. I wonder what memories cause him to be so... 'twitchy'.
''Wanna get up?'' I ask a minute later.
''No.'' Alan mumbles grumpily. ''But we probably should. Or... you know... we'll never get up.'' He sighs dramatically.
''Okay.'' I mutter. Alan smirks slightly at me, but before i can ask why, he shoves me off the bed.
''Alan, you idiot!" I laugh as i hit the floor. He grins, and leaps onto my chest, tickling my ribs. I laugh so much i almost choke. ''Stop it!" I giggle, as he tickles my stomach.
''Make me...'' He smirks, kneeling over me. I try to laugh lightly, but he looks so damn attractive, really fucking hot...
''Oh really?'' I mutter, propping myself up on my elbows.
''Hmm...'' He mumbles, sitting in my lap and wrapping his legs around my waist. I lift one hand up to his jaw, looking into his eyes. I can feel a slight pain in my 'lower region' from where he's sat right on my crotch. I moan slightly from the back of my throat, and Alan smiles devilishly. He presses his lips against my own, pretty confident for someone who only recently came to terms with his homosexuality. He shoves me back onto my bedroom floor, kissing me aggressively. I respond enthusiastically, running my hands through his hair, and sliding my tongue against his. He grinds slightly against me, making us both moan quietly. Alan starts sliding his hand up my shirt, touching my stomach with gentle fingertips. His hands are creeping around my hip to my back, when I come hurtling down from dizzy happiness with a bang. Abruptly, I pull back from his kiss, and tug his hand off my hip. I pull my tshirt over my hip, covering up the skin there.
''What's wrong?'' Alan asks, looking confused.
''Nothing, Alan.'' I sigh slightly, tipping him off my lap, and pulling my knees to my chest. Alan sits sulkily next to me, I figure I probably owe him an explanation. But what do I say?
''Well, there's obviously something.'' He says. ''Tell me what it is? What did I do wrong this time?''
''It's not your fault!" I assure him, wanting to make 100% sure he doesn't blame himself.
''Well, it's obviously something, Aust. Just tell me?'' Alan sighs.
''You don't wanna know.''
''Oh believe me I do.'' Alan insists.
I sigh, and resign myself. I guess I would end up telling him either way. ''You know I told you my Mom died?'' I ask. Alan nods, looking scornful, well, I guess that's not an easy thing to forget. ''Well...I got really depressed for a while, because of that and bullying and I just felt so...dead.'' I scratch my jaw nervously. ''SO, I self-harmed for a while... i'm fine now, I think... but-'' I cut myself off by briefly flashing the battered skin on my right hip.
''Oh, Austin...'' Alan breathes, looking stricken. He shuffles forward, so he's facing me. He glances at my face before gently pulling my hands out the way. He cautiously lifts up the material of my pajama shirt, exposing my hip. Alans breath catches, but he doesn't flinch or look away, just runs his fingers over the thick, white scars spanning my hip. The scars criss-cross a hatched pattern over my hip, some lumpy and thick, others thin slashes. I cringe slightly, and close my eyes. I can hear Alan shuffling to sit next to me, and I feel him drop my shirt down over the ruined skin.
''I'm sorry, Austin...'' He murmurs, resting his chin on my shoulder and sliding one arm across my waist.
''Why are you sorry! It's not your fault.'' I mumble, forcing a laugh.
''I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you went through these bad times. I'm sorry you had to deal with that alone, and I'm sorry I reminded you of it when we were having...fun.'' He mumbles, smiling a little at the last sentence.
''Its not your fault, Al.'' I say, mainly referring to the last thing, though none of the other stuff is his fault either. It's not his fault he didn't know I exist. ''But thank you.'' I open my eyes slowly, tilting my face to meet his.
We stare into each others eyes for a moment, noses brushing, before Alan lightly touches our lips together.

''C'mon, we should get up.'' He states firmly, jumping to his feet and holding out a hand.
We wander through to the kitchen, where my Dad is sat reading a newspaper with his reading-the-newspaper expression on. Yep, he has that expression. Alan and I drop each others hands when we walk in, just before Dad looks up.
''Morning Austin! Hello Alan, good to meet you properly.'' Dad says, chuckling. Last night, I barely showed Dad Alans face before hurrying away.
''Nice to meet you Mr. Carlile.'' Alan smiles awkwardly, nodding and shuffling slightly.
''Please, call me Robert.'' My Dad smiles, reaching over the breakfast counter to shake his hand.
''Okay, Robert.'' Alan mumbles, biting his lip. I have noticed Alan seems a lot less aggressive outside of school, and my Dad seems to like him so that's always good.

Notes

Yeah, I have no idea what Austins Dad's name is, so I just guessed.
Someone pls tell me<3
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