Human After All.

No. No, he is not going to ruin my day even more than he already has. I glared towards him, my tired eyes burning with the strain. The itching burn of pain started up my back again, all over the pain assaulted me from the 'phantom whip' it felt whenever the memories started flooding through my head. Turning towards the stage I stared desperately for those intense cloudy blue eyes, just so I could regain my composure.

I caught his gaze for a few seconds and I saw him smile as he recognized me in the crowd. I was close enough to tell that he was sweating in the summer heat but seemed less than bothered by it as he continued to play. A hand gripped my shoulder, their nails biting into me; I instantly recognized the hand, and I started shaking slightly. With both fear and anger. "You know, I remember a time when you used to sit and play your guitar for me." I whirled around, shoving his hand off me. "What the fuck do you want?" I growled out. Before he could answer, Blake snapped into action, putting herself in front of me and guiding my arm down, when I didn't even realize I was raising a tight fist ready to punch his face. My actions surprised even me.

"I thought I told you?" he gave me feigned hurt glance.

"No, that itty bitty tiny, fucking secret is yours alone."

"Still as snide as ever Alistair. I did miss your wit."

"Save it Elijah, for someone who actually gives a flying crap. As you can see you aren't wanted here." Blake interrupted my retort. "You have no reason to be here."

"But I do, it seems like there's an obstacle in my way, and I tend to get rid of it." I felt Blake grab my hand protectively, tense. I got the meaning behind his words. "Why makes you think your going to get to Devin without going through me first."

He had the nerve to 'tsk' me. "But he's not yours, and your not his." His eyes narrowed thoughtfully, as if he was actually taking himself seriously. "And who do you 'think' I belong to?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise skepticism. "You? That's a goddamn laugh."

He shrugged, as if he could care less what I said. I had just about enough of this. Grabbing Blake's hand back, I started pulling her away. No one seemed to notice the three of us bickering as the band's songs were still coming strong. "Let's move closer to the stage Blake, there's something here that's just not doing it for me." I knew he heard me, by the sound of his over the top snort.

He didn’t follow me, again. I knew this wasn't over.



Sometime later, Blake and I made our way over to the Motionless In White tent. Coming around back, I said hi to Alex and sat in a chair behind Ricky and Chris. Ricky turned around after he was done talking to a fan, and asked. "So how was the view?"

"Great, I thought you were going to fall a few times, but it was epic."

Chris gave out a short bark of laughter. Ricky bowed in his chair, feigning gratefulness as if I paid him a compliment. I sat back in my chair, making a low huffing noise as I didn't actually have the energy to laugh. I wondered vaguely where Devin was, worried about what Elijah said earlier. Crossing my arms, I slumped in the chair, glaring at my legs. The guys must have noticed my lack of voice as usually I kept up a good conversation, normally. Because I could feel their eyes on me every now and then but they didn't comment or pry, thankfully. If I wanted to talk about it, I would but I didn’t feel that things were at that point yet.

Blake came up beside me, pulling up a chair. She leaned her head on my shoulder. "Are you alright, Al?" She kept her voice low, asking as gently as she could. I breathed in deeply through my nose and let it all out as a gust of air through my mouth. It calmed me down slightly. "No," I murmured back. "I'm not, this shit is so stupid, it's like some sick fucking fantasy and somehow my life is being dragged into it. After I tried so hard to get out of it."

She started rubbing my back, very delicately, as if she didn’t want to hurt me. The pain was back, but her comfort soothed me. "Does it hurt?"

"A bit." I admitted. I glanced up through my bangs and saw Chris glancing at me, curiosity written on his face. He couldn't hear us, but he knew we were talking. "Have you seen Devin?" I asked him, since he was still staring. "I think he's on his way. He was talking to some guy he met when we walked off stage."

My heart jumped dramatically. "What guy? What did he look like?"

Chris raised his drawn on eyebrow at me. "He had slicked back black hair, and he had weird colored eyes."

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I scrambled out of my chair and ran out the back of the tent and towards the stage. Elijah had better not hurt him, there would be severe consequences. It took me just a few seconds to run into them. They were on there way towards the tent.

Elijah saw me coming and gave me a smug smile. I glared at him. What the hell is he up too?

"Ah there he is. Good old Alistair, here to see you safely to your tent."

"No need to be snarky Elijah, you might start showing your true colours." my voice lowered into an angry growl.

Devin stared at me; bewildered. Elijah laughed at me. "Now now, Ali, I didn’t do anything wrong. Just an admirer. Getting an autograph."

"Oh well excuse me for thinking the worst of you." My voice raised just the slightest, tired anger in my tone.

He had the nerve to look wounded. An act, that's all it was. Just an act and I'm falling right into it. Why, because I'm really getting tired of him butting into my life after he made himself scarce after what he did.

"Jeez Alistair. He just wanted an autograph!"

Devins annoyed voice broke my thoughts of what I wanted to say next. He was annoyed with me? I stared at him, a lump formed in my throat.

"Devin, I'm sorry but you don't know our past." I don't know why I didn't just spill it all out right then and there. But with the person who hurt you beyond actual words standing in front of you, I clammed up.

"Yes, I know, you forgot to mention him." His cloudy blue eyes were practically screaming betrayal.

"What the hell kind of bullshit did you tell him." I directed my question towards Elijah who was standing there like an innocent bystander watching two people yell at each other in public.

"I never said a word. I just told him me and you go way back."

I was about to open my mouth and call him a fucking cock sucker, and I'd be telling the whole truth with that, and not metaphorically either.

But Devin, again had something to add. "Yes, Alistair, he told me about you being on again off again."

"What, you can't seriously believe him, can you?!" I paused for just a second. "Yes, we went out a long time ago. But I never got back with him, and I don't plan to either."

"Really, you don't?" he left it as a question.

"I don't." I said it firmly, no doubt in my mind.

"I'm hurt Alistair, you called me here and everything." Lies. That asshole is lying through his goddamn teeth.

"Will you quit lying!" I practically screamed at him.

"I'm not lying." His eyes glinted with malice. "I never called you. Ever. I would never call you, never mind bother looking in a phonebook for your damn number!"

"You wound me so." His blue eye glinted with feigned sorrow while his green eye blazed with an air of victory. It startled me and made me uncomfortable.

I guess I was so busy yelling at him that I never noticed Devin stalking off towards the tent, never mind the attention we were getting. A bunch of people were stopping and staring at the drama. Whispers and murmurs buzzed around me but I ignored them, shaking them off as of they were flies.

Turning around I hurried after him, "Devin, wait! Please!" when he didn’t stop, I tried again. "Please Devin." my voice becoming strained, thinking of the last time I watched his back retreat. He stopped, and turned around, his eyes held doubt that I never meant to put there.

"Please, just let me explain. Tonight, please." the amount of times I said 'please' was almost astounding. I was desperate, I couldn’t lose the only thing, the only person who made my life feel right again.

He sighed heavily, and stared straight into my eyes. "I guess. I'm sorry that I let that get out of hand, getting everyone riled up. But I'm just so...confused."

I gulped, trying to get rid of that lump of emotion stuck in my throat.
He sighed again. "We'll see okay. Right now I need to get my head together."

I nodded, and he turned back around and disappeared behind the tent. I heard Elijah walking up behind me. "Leave me alone."

I power walked back to my RV, away from Elijah, Devin and the rest of my friends. I just wanted to sit in my dark home and sulk.


~


I slept little once I got back, I got maybe an hours worth of decent sleep since the day before yesterday. That and I didn’t want to sleep away an opportunity to explain everything to Devin. I didn’t want to text him, knowing that he needed space and time.

But since I wasn't completely drowning in my new found addition to my insanity, I had my Dell laptop setup in front of me, playing my media player on random. Although because life loved me so much recently, it played every sad and depressing song I had.

Elijah didn’t follow me, which was probably a good thing considering my state of mind at the time. I probably would have finished what I wanted to finish during the concert. Which was punch the living daylights out of him until his own mother couldn't recognize him.

I rethought that thought when I mentioned his mother, she unlike him was a wonderful person..

My music switched to the next song, and I groaned loudly. The Hidden Cameras Gay Goth Scene started playing. I glared at my computer, "Now you're just making fun of me."

Because that song wasn't depressing enough on its own.

Sighing loudly I got up from my table, opening up my fridge. I had leftover Pad Thai and an unopened Nos. I took them both out and threw the food in the microwave to heat it up. I looked in the cupboards to see if I had anything else to go with it. Cookies? Nope. Cereal? Uh, no. Soup? Bad combination waiting to happen. "Don't tell me I need to go shopping." I muttered to no one. When I realized I probably had to, since just last night my pantry probably got raided hardcore by seven men and one woman.

Looking at the rest of my storage, yeah, no, I definitely got raided last night. "Thanks guys, I bought you take out and everything." But instead of being annoyed, I laughed. Men and their stomachs. Me being the one to talk. Hmph.

The microwave beeped at me, signalling the food was done. Grabbing my food and drink I sat down in front of my laptop and dug in. Out of curiosity and utter hopelessness, I opened Google
Chrome and typed in Devin Sola. I forked a chunk of food and popped it into my mouth and enjoyed the spicy noodles and veggies.

His birthday came up, along with a bunch of websites where you could follow him, here and there. But I wanted to see his pictures so I clicked on images. Immediately I was bombarded with him either playing on stage or him posing with various cosplays. A glimmer of jealousy went through me when I saw pictures of him and his ex Kylie. Scrolling down quickly, to be rid of the immature jealous moment I had, I went by something too fast and I had to go back slowly. Thinking it was just a play on my vision. Nope. It wasn’t.

There was Devin, my Devin, posing half naked in front of a mirror. Showing just how gorgeous his ass was. I tried to inhale but I choked and winded up falling to the floor from my seat after trying to steady myself with my left hand but missed the seat entirely. I felt myself harden against the odds of me coughing and my whole body twingeing with pain from falling, the image burned into my brain. Once my coughing and sputtering ended, I was breathing heavily, and my face was hotter than the sun. My jeans had become the most uncomfortable pair I'd ever worn. I pushed my ever worsening burden down, trying not to groan at how it felt. My media player changed songs again, and S.E.X by Nickelback started playing.

"Oh come on!" I yelled. I laid there on the floor, half naked Devin flashing in my mind, and my erection burning with a mad desire to be released in more than one way. Oh, god I hope no one walks in right now. I slowly got up, trying to avoid jolting myself with all the movement. My face still hotter than fire, I began flexing my arms, pushing them out and then bringing them close to my chest. I kept it up until I felt myself go limp again after what felt like forever. Breathing out a sigh of relief, I sat back down, getting yet another eyeful of Devin before I closed the browser. I whistled, realizing I really needed a life. I pulled out my phone and texted Devin.

-Hey, I'm headed to the grocery store, so if you show up and I'm not here, I'll probably be there shortly after.-

I quickly finished my leftover meal and opened my energy drink, taking a quick gulp and got ready to leave. I dug out my green bags and was about to step out the door when my phone chimed.

-Alright, can you text me when you get back, I'll come then.-

Smiling I texted him a short 'sure' and I was out the door.



~



After I left the store, I had texted him again, saying I was almost there. He said he would meet me there.

I walked through the back of the venue, four green bags full of groceries. It was dark now, the sun had already set but you could still see a faint glow in the distance. I walked slowly towards my home, taking in the coolness of the night. I took a deep breath, the cold air filling my lungs. I felt better after the walk to the store. Calmer, even. I even dared a smile. It felt like taking those short hours away put my sanity back together again.

When I got to my RV, I set my groceries down and dug out my keys. Devin wasn’t here yet, so I had time to put my groceries away and put on a pot of coffee. I sighed, somewhat happily so. I put my key in the door and turned it, tuning out everything as I thought of what I was going to next. Simple tasks, hard talk. Hmph. Not the most pleasant way to put it.

It was last second I noticed footsteps behind me, but I didn’t get to turn around, at least not on my own terms. Elijah had twisted me around and pushed me against the RV. I was stunned, the sound of my body hitting the metal building made a sharp bang through the air. I was barely able to use my reflexes when I felt his hands at my throat. He pressed against me, closing the distance between us so I could feel the heat of his breath on my face.

"Now, where did you run off too without telling me." he laughed in my face, and I felt myself go cold at those words. I knew those words, that's what he said last....

I tried to gulp, but he pressed hard against my neck, pushing my larynx back so I couldn't breath. I tried clawing at his hands, trying to pry myself free. But I was too weak, too tired. I felt my body start to tremble in fear. "You know, if I had known you would have found someone else, I would have locked you up." I felt my eyes widen, almost popping out of my skull. "Why?" it came out in a low whimper.

"Because you were mine, and I waited for you to come crawling back to me once you realized nobody else would have you!" His hold tightened and it hurt to try breath.

"You hurt me, why would I ever come back to you?" I struggled with the words, but I knew he heard me.

"Because. -"

He froze. I saw something shimmer against his neck in the dying light. Light reflecting metal. One of the most menacing voices I've probably ever heard came from behind him.

"Let him go or I'll cut your fucking throat open, you son of a bitch."

I almost smirked, just seeing fear in Elijah's eyes was the most intoxicating thing to witness.

Notes

Do you have any idea how upset I was when I thought I lost this site D:. (I mean I had Wattpad, but still.)

Thank god its back !

Enjoy! :3