Kalista ( how i imagined her)


''HELLO I AM BACK LOVE!!" Austin screamed from the door, almost tripping as i hear anyway.
''Are you drunk or just clumsy.'' i asked, tapping RB on the controller, throwing a flash grenenade to the enemies.

"Hey now...'' he said and hopped over the couch, landing next to me. I am currently sitting in criss cross, exposing my black lace underwear underneath Austin's big shirt he left here once.

''Will you get me some food? I am on a new record. 12 hours without getting up and i am hungry and thirsty.'' i said and shoot the guy that is shooting my team mate.

''Then how do you piss?" He asks and i reach over and hold up a green sprite bottle, causing him to gag.

''I am joking, I haven't.'' I said and i see him smirk at a idea. ''No what are you doing?" I ask, still focused on the game.

Austin presses pause on my controller and starts to tickle me. ''NO!! AUSTIN ROBERT CAR--'' I am cut off by his long fingers attacking my tummy and thighs.

He never goes to far up, due to my scars. I swear it is more PTSD for him then me.

''STOP I WILL KILL YOU WITH A AXE.'' i said and try to hold his arms down. I have been wanting to go to the bathroom for about 3 hours and i am getting really anxious.

He stops and looks at me with sad eyes.
''Well that isn't a way to treat the guy you like.'' He said and i shove the controller in his face, maybe a little to hard, and run into the bathroom.

After i do the thingie, i go back to find him playing.

''Fine take my controller, that is totally okay.'' i said anger clearly lacing my voice.

Once a while ago, i think Alan and I were both about 16, no one was home and i was writing in my journal and i left it out to go to the bathroom and they both came home, locking themselves in my room and reading it.

Not only did they find out about me taking a liking to Austin, they found out about my self harm and my eating disorder.

''Hey calm down. You know if we didn't find out, you might be six feet under.'' he said and looked me in the eyes. I look right back and if you didn't know Austin since you were in 8 grade and now you are going to be a sophomore at Stanford, you wouldn't be able to tell that he was hiding sadness.

But i did know Austin since i was in 8 grade. And i know he is hiding sadness.

''Yeah i know. Im sorry.'' i said and i tare my gaze from his and back at the screen. He pressed the green and silver X on his controller, pausing both my screen and his.

''Hey, listen. You don't need to be sorry. We all handle things differently because we have different personalities. Just know that i fucking care about you and i would rather burn the world to ash then see you hurting yourself. '' He said and put his hand on my knee.

I look at it a cover it with mine, linking our fingers together.

''Yeah i know.'' i said and he hears his phone ringing, blasting Repeating Apologies. Our song. He wrote it for me when he read my journal, but didn't really publish it until recently.

i feel myself wallowing in hate when he pulls it out and i see Gielle written on it.

''Hey babe.'' he said and i suck my cheeks in and bite down, creating a small pain to what i need.
''You're pregnant!!" He yells and i open my jaw to the news that was just thrown out.
He looks at me and i swear i see something in his eyes, i just don't know.

''No it isn't mine!! The last time we had sex was after i got back from tour and i made sure to use protection! And it was a two months ago!!" he yelled and we made eye contact.

I patted the seat beside me and gave him a smile.

''where am i? I am watching out for my best friend right now.'' He said and sat down, throwing his arm around his shoulder. I lean up so i can hear what she has to say.

"So you are with the slut huh? Wow.'' i hear and i feel rage build up in me. I snatch the phone from Austin and stand up.

"Really i am the slut? When i am a virgin and you are pregnant with some one night stand? Well i have some advice for you. Shut those legs girl, it's closing time.'' i said and i hear the end call button.
''God, she can't even hold her own ground. All talk and no bark.'' i said and i hand the phone to Austin.

He smiles and me and pulls me down, picking up my controller and handing it to me. I lay on my back with his arm slinging around my shoulders. We have one of those L couches and we are laying together on the edge. I lay my head on his chest, but so i can still look at the screen.

''Let us res--'' he starts but is cut off from another phone call. He groans and digs it out of his pocket once again but to see Alan written down.

He puts the phone to his ear and i swear i hear Alan in histerics. Austin's smile faulters and his face goes pale.

''Yeah she is right here.'' He said and handed the phone to me. ''Hey alleycat.'' i said and i hear sniffles.

''Alan?" I ask and i hear a sob. ''Hey Kali. Mu-mum g-got sh-sho-shot in Hawaii. A r-robbery.'' He said and i let the phone drop from my hand.

"I need to go upstairs.'' i said and Austin tries to say something in protest, i am pretty sure he did , but i didn't hear a word.

I walk down the hall way and into my room. She is gone. She is gone and she isn't coming back.

My mind repeated that along with the knocking on the door. ''Kalista open the door or i will kick it down.'' Austin said, worry and concern laced his voice and i walk over to the bedside drawer, grabbing something i had longed for for a while.

''Please Kali.'' He said and i hear the banging stop, but i see him stay put.

I twidle the blade with my hand and i slide down the wall. ''I am so sorry Aussie.'' i said and i feel a huge gust of wind and i see little pieces of wood fly by me.

I see Austin barge in and grab the blade in a tight grip, probably cutting his hand. He takes it and sticks it in the wall, picking me up once his eyes lay on me.

He takes me over to the bed and i grab a fistful of his shirt and hold it close to me. ''Aussie she is gone!!" i said and he hushes me singing repeating apologies.

"Austin she is fucking gone!!!!" I said and i grip his shoulder, making sure he won't leave me either.

I push away from him and make a grab for my blade, but i feel his arms wrap around my waist and pull me back.

''NO let me go i need it!!" I say and make another reach for it, but i know he won't let me go, so i let my legs give out and i fall to the ground.

''Austin?" I ask and he picks me up and craddles me like a baby. ''calm down baby.'' he said and i hold onto him. I wrap my arms around his neck and then i pull my face into his shirt, taking in his sweet cologne.
''I need you.'' i said and i swear i feel a tear hit my head.

''Well you have me and i am never letting you go.''He said and i run my fingers of one hand through his hair. ''You can let me down.'' i said closing my eyes and leaning my head on his shoulder.

''no.'' he said and i laugh a little. ''sing to me?" I ask and he nods. ''The great Hendowski yeah?" He asks and i nod again. After breakdowns like this i get really tired.

I met a guy with some coins in his can
His face was weathered, dark, and sad
He looked up to me and asked
Something I'll never forget
He said,'' Austin said and i felt his hand caress my knee that he held.

''How can you smile with your lips wrapped around a loaded gun?
How can you smile?
Look at this life, is this all we've got?
And my reply was quick
Read this book, you were meant to live
It all means so much to me
But note what's written in red
It says...'' He sang sweetly in my ear, giving it a quick bite and a tug.

''It speaks of hope, trust, and love,
The fear of never being good enough
We are all made the same
I know it's tough, but please don't give up
Don't speak that way, 'cause I won't allow you
You're too young to live this way
Just close your eyes and see
The true meaning
You're too young to live this way
Just look around and see
That life is beauty
How can you smile, when this life is all we've got?
There's no hole inside, no time that's long enough,
That can't be saved or healed
There's nothing that can't be covered with love
Don't speak that way, 'cause I won't allow you
You're too young to live this way
Just close your eyes and see
The true meaning
You're too young to live this way
Just look around and see
That life is beauty
This world is not...
This world is not my home
I'm just passing through
There's hope, there is love
I know there is a void
There's hope, and there is love
But there is no void that can't be covered with love.'' he said and i feel this pain in my chest, but it felt good.

I can't even discribe it. It feels like that saying 'have you ever loved someone so much it hurts?' and i think this is the feeling.




I feel open my eyes and feel his lips connect with mine. For a quick second, i feel the enjoyable pain, but it was gone when his lips left mine.

He looks at me with a longing and i try to wiggle out of his grasp, but he only moves towards the bed.

He sets his knees on it and lays me down, covering me with his body. ''Austin?" I ask him and he doesn't move from his position.

''Yeah?" he replies in the same tone and i roll my liquid filled eyes, and grab his shoulders, pulling him to the side of me.

He picks up his phone and calls Alan. He snuggles me into his chest and i willing obliged.

''Is she okay?" Alan asks and i look at Austin. I pull his white V neck down, revealing his scar and i run my fingers up and down it.

''Yeah, i got her calm. Are you okay?" he asks and he looks down at me. ''No, but i will be when i get home.'' He said and hung up .

"Austin?"i ask him and he won't tear his gaze from me.

''yeah?" he asks and i take a sharp breath in.

''How did you deal with your mom?" I say and he looks to the right. ''I had you, and Alan and time. I just had lots of time.'' he said and i felt my eyes getting droopy.

''Hey, i love you.'' he said and i smile.

''I Love you to Giant.'' i said and i close my eyes

Notes

i hope you like it ")