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The Letter

Chapter 20

I woke up and didn’t recognize my surroundings, then I remembered that I had stayed in a hotel with Ricky. Did we do anything? I don’t remember much. I looked around, looking for some different clothes. I found a huge bag and opened it, it had new clothes in it, my size. Ricky did this for me…
“It’s a late birthday present.” He said wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Ricky, these are amazing. Thank you so much.”
I took off my ones from yesterday and stuck them in the bag. Before putting on the others I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself, I sighed. I looked horrible, I was fat, and I had so many fresh cuts, and ugh, it was just, ugh. Ricky came over to me and frowned, “Ashley, what’s happening?”
“I don’t know.” I whispered.
I put on the clothes he bought me. They looked amazing, I slipped on the jacket and it looked perfect. I did my hair and makeup and hugged Ricky. I drove myself back home and was just about to go inside when I was stopped. “Ashley! My god where have you been?!” Oli shouted from his car, “I have been looking for you everywhere! I’ve been driving around for hours!!” I took out my phone and looked at it, it was 3 in the afternoon. “Oh my god Oli I’m so sorry, rick- my new friend and I slept in.”
“Who?”
“My uh… my friend.” I gulped.
“Ashley, this is not Ricky is it?”
I didn’t answer.
“Ashley! Do you remember the talk we had?! HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!”
“He bought me these clothes though, even the shoes and jacket.”
“He is trying to buy your love baby girl, stop it please. Please, I’m worried about you.”
Oli and I argued about it for a few minutes, as much as I wanted to storm off he kept me there. I stormed into the house and slammed the guest bedroom door. I can still be friends with him!! This is horrible, I’ll never be okay. I never will be. I’ll always be a failure who always fucks things up!
He was banging on the door, begging for me to open it, but I refused. I buried my head into the black comforter and balled my eyes out. “Die Ashley, just go! No one cares anymore just go!” My mind was crying out, louder than I was. I thought about it, but I couldn’t, I promised them, I promised him. I just need to feel loved. That’s all I want, is to feel loved, loved by everyone around me, my friends, my family, everyone. It’s unrealistic, I know, but still.
I grabbed my phone from my back pocket, a note slipped out, I guess Ricky put it there.
Ashley,
I never had a chance to mail this to you, so here it is. On December 26th, I want to spend the day with you, I’ll let you spend Christmas with Oli, but the day after I want to be with you, I have a big present for you, I think you’ll love it. I hope you do. See you soon, love you. ~Ricky
I wonder what it was. Today was the 16th. Just 10 more days. I’m so curious, dammit! What could it be? We haven’t talked in weeks until yesterday. Ugh.
~Christmas Morning~
I woke up next to Oli, who was still very pissed about me spending the day with Ricky tomorrow. Oli was cuddled with a pillow on the other side of the bed. “Oli, Oli baby wake up!!” I shouted. He jumped a little and groaned, “Why?” “It’s Christmas!”
He slowly got up and we walked downstairs, there was so many presents sitting under our giant tree. I rushed over and Oli slowly followed behind me. I separated the presents and started ripping them open. I got an art easel, paints, brushes, some clothes, some sexy lingerie, and then a tiny box that Oli told me to wait on opening.
He opened his, clothes, new notebooks for writing music, some paintings I painted of stuff he liked, and some other small things. After he opened his he told me that I could open my small box. I unwrapped it. There was a note. “The place where the tears fall.” It read. I looked at him confused, “A scavenger hunt.” He smiled.
I rushed around upstairs, looking for a place where the tears fall. Then I thought, the guest room! I go in there and on the pillow is a note that reads. “Vroom, vroom.” I go back downstairs and go check the cars. On the windshield of Oli’s car is another note that read, “Bazanga!” The TV! I went around finding notes for 30 minutes. Then the last one read, “Baby, come here.” I went over to him. He was smiling like a little kid.
He was so cute, “What is it baby?” I said, being stubborn as fuck. He bent down and got down on his knee, “Ashley, I love you so much, more than life, you’ve managed to make me happy every time I’m upset. There’s never a time I doubt your love. Ashley, will you marry me?” My heart jumped. What the fuck! Shit, I don’t know. I don’t.
“Oli… Oli. My god. Oli. I uh, I need to think about it…”
I left the house, with car keys and my phone in hand. I felt bad, the way his face looked after I told him that, it was like a bullet in the chest. It hurt me to say it. I grabbed my phone and called Ricky, “Ricky, hey, it’s me, uhm, could you do whatever with me today instead of tomorrow?” I said into the phone.
“Uh, yeah I can. Meet me at my hotel.”
I hung up and drove to his hotel. I went inside and went to his door, knock, knock, knock. I knocked on the door and waited for him to open it. “Just a second Ash!” He shouted. About three minutes later he came and opened the door, he looked fantastic, all dressed up fancy like. I looked down, I was still in my pajamas. “Oh uh, shit Ashley. Uh, you look… good.” He laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t think I needed to look so good.” I laughed awkwardly. “That’s okay love, I’ll just give you something early.” He handed me a giant bag, “Ricky you didn’t have to.” “But I wanted to.”
I looked out the window, it was snowing hard. I sighed a little, whatever it is, I hope it’s warm. I started taking things out of the bag, a red dress, black heals, a black jacket, and some makeup. “Ricky… thank you so much.” I smiled hugging him. I changed and did my hair and makeup. I grabbed my phone and saw that Oli had called a shit ton of times. I ignored it.
Throughout the rest of the day Ricky and I went to go eat, we went and did some other less cool things, we went on some carnival rides. It was dark by the time we had finished, we were sitting at a bench in a park. “Reach into the left pocket of that jacket.” He cooed. I pulled it out a box and opened it… not Ricky too. “Ashley, my love. We’ve had our ups and downs. More downs than ups, but god baby I love you, so much. So much. Ashley, will you marry me?” I sighed a little, “Let me think about it Ricky.”
I was running, I didn’t know where to, but I was. Alone and afraid, running as far as I could. I ended up at this coffee shop, no one was there except like three people and the counter guy. I walked over and asked him for the ‘rainy day tea’ I wasn’t sure what it was but it fit perfectly. “Why is such a beautiful girl so upset that she has to order that tea?” He smirked at me.
“You don’t have the time.” I laughed, like he’d want to hear anyways.
“Oh please, it’s like a ghost town in here, I just work the night shift for more money, let me get you this tea of yours and I’ll go sit with you.”
I sat at a booth by the windows, it was still snowing, the heater was on way too high in this place, it makes you forget how cold it is outside. He brought me my tea, it was just mint tea with some creamer, nothing special.
“So tell me, why is such a beautiful girl so upset?” He asked sitting in front of me.
“Where should I start?” I said angrily.
“At the beginning.”
“Okay, so long story short, I met Ricky from Motionless in White, we were together, he found out my age after we fucked and beat me. I forgave him, then he did it again. Then he tried to kill me and my family. I almost died from loss of blood, but sadly I’m still here. Then I went with Oli, from Bring Me the Horizon, and we’ve been together a few months. And then a few days ago Ricky and I started talking again, and this morning, Oli proposed to me and so did Ricky this evening, and I just, I don’t know what to do, and I’m going crazy. And I just, don’t, know.”
“Well that’s inane, though, most people can’t say that they’ve dated either one of them. But, I’d like for you to talk to my sister, who’s been with Oli. They were together for about 2 years.”
He pulled out his phone and called someone, I guess his sister. I sat there and finished my tea, and waited for his sister to get here. This beautiful girl with white hair walked in. “Hey sis!” He smiled and hugged her, “This is… Well what is your name?” He said asking me.
“Ashley.” I smiled.
“Oh my! You’re the Ashley with Oli Sykes yes?” She said, it sounded like she was just learning English.
“That’s me. Where are you from?”
“Sweden!”
“She’s my real sister, she’s just older and not born here.” He laughed.
“What’s your names?” I asked.
“I’m Liam, this is Ashton.” He pointed to his sister.
“Yes, so I understand you’re having difficulty with Oli yes?”
“Yes.”
“What’s the matter?”
“He proposed to me this morning, then Ricky, of Motionless in White proposed not too long ago. What was it like with Oli?”
“Oli was amazing, he spoiled me, he cared for me, he loved me. He genuinely loved me, and he was not afraid to show it around his mates’ either.”
“Which should I say yes to?”
“Well, what I’ve read online about you and Ricky, was not good. Guys don’t just change like that, Oli. Oli definitely.”
I sighed, we talked about it some more, but she was still stuck on Oli, I got their numbers and started walking home. I looked at my phone, midnight. It was the 26th now. It was freezing cold, I kept shivering. “Oli, please come get me.” I said into the phone. “Where are you baby?” He asked, sounding frantic. “The park by the mall.”
I sat down on a bench and waited. I only waited 10 minutes or so, then Oli pulled up in his Mustang. I got into the car and we drove off. He looked like he had been crying, “Oli… baby, I’m so sorry. Yes, absolutely, yes.” I answered to his early question. “Yes?” “My answer, of course I’ll marry you, I have no idea why I wanted to think on it. You’re better for me.”