The Letter

On the drive home, I was thinking about it again, and I just wasn’t sure. “Hey babe?” I said looking at Oli.
“What is it love?” He smiled at me.
“I don’t know. My decision was so rash. I don’t know.”
“That’s okay baby, you take your time.”
“I still love you though Oli.”
He let out a weak smile and we drove in silence. I could see the pain on his face. He looked so sad, and I felt so bad. But Ricky… Ricky was, well Ricky, he was cute and adorable, and sweet, when he wasn’t dunk. I had some serious thinking to do.
When we got home the snow was still pouring, it was at least 3 inches already. In Texas you don’t get that, you’re lucky if you get half an inch. I got out of the car and slowly walked to the door. I stood there for a moment, waiting for Oli to get there, he was walking as slow as a turtle. He got to the door and unlocked it. I went inside and into the guest bedroom. ‘Oli I’m so sorry…’ I mumbled before falling to my knees and crying. It was 3 in the morning, my knees were shaky, my heart ached, my head was pounding. I could hardly breathe.
I called Ashton, and asked her to come over, she said she was going to bring Liam too, because he can be really helpful. 20 minutes or so later the doorbell rang, Oli beat me to the door and opened it. He was shocked to see who it was.
“Ashton, hur mår du? Det är kul att se dig igen.” (Ashton, how are you? It’s nice to see you.) Oli said, speaking Swedish.
“Bra Oli Bra, trevligt att se dig också” (Good Oli, Good. Nice to see you as well.)
“Vet du engelska ännu Ash?” (Do you know English yet Ash?)
“Yes Oli, I’m learning.”
The talked for a while, in Swedish, Liam tried to help me but it was no use, we walked upstairs and went into the guest bedroom.
“I thought you picked Oli?” He said plopping down on my bed.
“I love Oli, but god I love Ricky too Liam.”
As we talked about it all Ashton came into the room, she looked kind of sad. Liam asked her what was wrong in Swedish, and refused to tell me what she said, it was aggravating. Oh well, whatever. Oli walked back up the stairs just a couple minutes after Ashton did. He flashed me a weak smile then headed to ou-his room. We continued to talk about it, I felt so bad, for Ricky and Oli.
“Ashley, Oli love you, I get that you have two lovers, Ricky was at first, but only because he was the first does not mean he's the best. Oli loves you, he might not have been there in the beginning, but he's here now! And from what I've heard about Ricky, he does not love you. Who was there when he first met you? Who was it like to take you to the hospital? Who was there when you refused to go to hospital? Who was it when you got your leg cut? Oli LOVE you Ashley, he loves you more than life itself! Honey please, if you do not believe anything else, please think he loves you.” Ashton said, trying her best to speak English.
“But Ashton, I’m worthless, I’m not good enough.”
We argued about it, I got fed up and told them to leave, that I couldn’t handle it. The sun was rising as they left. The clouds were still out and it was still snowing. I just wanted to die. I should’ve just let Ricky kill me dammit! Oli’s 27, Ricky’s 25. They’re both so much older than me, I’m only 17! Why did I put myself through this…? Why?!
“Ashley…” Oli whispered, walking in. I was on the floor in my red dress and heels Ricky gave me, crying harder than I ever have before, I was in so much pain. I didn’t answer, but he came up and rubbing on my back. Hugging me tightly, “Come on Ashley, let’s get some sleep.” He picked me up and carried me to our bedroom and laid me on the bed. “Oli… please don’t leave me, god please.” I whispered. He cuddled up next to me, “I promise baby, I promise.” He replied. I felt a tear on my shoulder, I looked over at him and he was crying. I grabbed my phone and called Ricky, “Hello?” His sleepy voice said into the phone. “Ricky hey. Uhm, no.” I said abruptly. “No?” He said cockily. “No.” Then I hung up. I looked over at Oli who had stopped crying. He smiled and kissed me. Oli was mine, I was his. He really loved me.

Notes