Where Do We Go From Here?

The next day I headed over to West Brooke after work. I hadn’t seen Ronnie since before I left for New York and I was curious as to how she was doing. I told my parents that I was skipping school to visit her. They put up an argument but I just left. I wasn’t in the mood to get reprimanded nor did I want to argue with them. I figured it was best to let them know where I was going just in case my teachers alerted them that I wasn’t in school again. Tony’s news made me miss my big sister that all I wanted was to talk to her, even if we would only discuss what was going on with her. I really wasn’t in the mood to pour salt in my wounds.

After checking with the nurse station within the building of West Brooke, they ushered me to the south wing of the large building where the women’s ward was held. Upon entering the south wing, the walls were now covered with inspirational quotes, saying how you can pull through and to remain strong. The Ronnie I knew would scoff at these just as I would as well. But at the moment, these modest sayings made me feel a little better, even if this small comfort wasn’t directed towards me.

“Veronica will be having therapy in an hour, so you’ll have roughly that amount of time to spend with her.” Nurse Beth informed me—the same nurse I had the pleasure of meeting when Yia Yiá was here.

“Thank you.” I said softly as I walked towards Ronnie.

She was sitting at the table, staring down a small bowl of cereal with a side of toast. She still looked a little hesitant to consume food, but after pushing around her sloshy cereal she brought the spoon up to her mouth and ate it, chewing rather slowly. Ronnie had put on some weight over these past few weeks. She was still thin but I noticed the was her cheeks seemed a little more filled out rather than appearing hallow.

“V.” She said with a growing smile on her face.

“Hi Ronnie.” I smiled back.

“What are you doing here?” Ronnie asked as she pushed aside her food.

“I wanted to visit you. I’ve just come back from New York.” I answered, wondering if mentioning New York was a good idea.

She smiled weakly before we both grew quiet. It felt weird to be around my sister because it was like we were trying to get to know each other all over again. We didn’t know what subjects to bring up without accidentally making the other cringe.

“Remember those stupid commercials we saw of this place as kids?” Ronnie asked.

I laughed. “Yeah, does it live up to its excellence?”

Ronnie chuckled. “Not really, but they do offered some good books.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, if you’re into reading about Jesus.” She quipped.

I rolled my eyes. “You never liked reading anyway.”

“You seem a little different.” Ronnie observed.

“How so?” I asked, remaining oblivious.

“I’m your big sister, Verity. What happened? Is it boy trouble?”

She nailed it without me even dropping any hints. I felt guilty for not catching on quicker to her eating disorder. If she could figure me out within minutes, then I should’ve caught on to her struggles quicker.

I sighed. “He cheated on me.” I replied softly before averting my eyes to the wooden table.

Ronnie gasped. “That fucking prick.”

I laughed. “Well, technically we weren’t together when he had sex with Carmen. But it still hurts.” I clarified.

Ronnie gave me a look of empathy—I was well aware of one of her ex’s cheating on her. “He’s still a fucking prick.” She pointed out.

I smiled weakly. “Makes sense, I guess.”

“And why would you say that?” She asked rhetorically. “Listen V, any guy who says they love you then jumps in bed with another girl without a month going by is a complete fuck head.”

I blinked in surprise. Ronnie wasn’t the one to spew out profanities so liberally. That was usually me or Jason to drop I-Lang—“Inflammatory Language”.

I smiled. “You always knew how to make me feel better.”

“That’s what big sisters are for.” She smiled. We both grew quiet after that, enjoying the silence that stretched between us.

“Ronnie, I want you to get better. And I don’t mean just gaining weight. I want you to feel better in here.” I said while pointing to my head.

Ronnie’s smile slipped a little. “I know and I’m trying, but it takes time.”

“All I ask is for you to try.” I smiled weakly.

“For you little sis, I will.” She assured me.

We spent the rest of the hour talking about different subjects, like college and work. We refrained any mentioning’s of Tony or Ronnie’s eating disorder since we already said what we needed to about the matter. Ronnie continued to eat her cereal and toast—in a slow fashion—before she was called into Moira’s office for therapy. We hugged goodbye before I signed out and drove to the nearest Starbucks since I was in dire need of a caffeine boost.

After grabbing my coffee, I decided to park near South Pier and walk around the down town San Diego area. The last time I actually spent time in down town San Diego was when Callie and I had gotten our drivers license. We weren’t sure where to go first and ended up here, browsing through the quaint shops. Zipping up my hoodie, I decided to browse through the small antique shop. Everything in Abernathy’s Antiques had a musky scent to it. There were stacks of vintage magazines piled by the door and old camera’s displayed in a glass case. However, it was the old acoustic guitar that made me stop. It reminded me of Tony that I ended up being fed up with the store and exiting.

I, then, walked into a small boutique that showcased clothes for tiny girls. Feeling my self-esteem sink from being surrounded by size 5 and under clothes, I left the boutique just as quickly as I had left the antique store. I was going over last night’s conversation with Tony. He looked guilty when he told me about Carmen, and he looked utterly sincere when he said he still loved me. However, there was this mental block within me that prevented me from actually dissecting his features.

It was like I wanted to forgive him, but my heart—my shattered, untrusting heard—refused to let me. Not to mention, my brain screamed that it’d be a terrible idea. I reasoned with myself that I needed to forget Tony because it wouldn’t be long until his sexcapades with Carmen will turn into a relationship.

He’ll always come crawling back to me. Her words sounded throughout my mind.

I shook my head upon entering a vintage comic book store. Breathing in the scent of well worn pages and musk, I decided to browse through the Marvel Comics. I wasn’t really into comics, but so far this store didn’t make me feel repulsed or remind me of Tony, so I decided to stay for a while. Grabbing a few old Spiderman comics, I walked to the small red table in the corner and plopped myself down before flipping through the weathered pages. I was reading about the heroic act of Spiderman until I saw a figure standing before me.

“Please, don’t get mad.” Tony’s voice said before sitting across of me.

When I looked at him I saw the dark bags under his eyes, and if I wasn’t mistaken his eyes looked puffy. I remained quiet and austere while placing the Spiderman comic flat on the table.

Notes

Two updates in one day? Whaaaaaa??

I've read through your guys's comments and literally, I love how invested you are with this story. It's an honor to know that my story is appreciated. Anyway, there might be a third update if I can find time to update again. Thanks for reading!

Enjoy <3