The Drug In Me Was You

The look on his face was mixed between shocked and confused. He sat that completely quiet for the rest of the interview, and would only give one word answers, if that. I was sort of dreading the whole conversation we were going to have. I didn't really know what I would say. And I really wasn't prepared. How would he react? Would he say he made a mistake? Or scream?

"Okay guys, well it's been fun. Anything else you wanna say to your fans?" I questioned the group.

"Wear condoms." Tino blurted out.

"Stay in school." Aaron added.

"Have sex regularly it's good for the body." Alan winked.

"I love you all." Austin spoke with a half smile, which was genuine.

"Everything combined. Love you guys!" Phil laughed.

"Well you heard it here from Alt-Press Magazine, thanks guys!" I smiled.

Once the camera went off I stood quickly shuffling my papers into my hands and scurrying out the exit, practically running to my car. Call me immature but, I was terrified of Austin at the moment. I stopped at a local coffee shop and grabbed a latte. I sat run in the little run down cafe and sipped it tediously. I knew at some point I would have to leave here, and go home. But, I was hiding. I was running away from my problems and for only being 22 I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to handle this much drama. It was high school resurfacing again.

I stopped at my mom's to get Fallon and ended up talking to her for a good hour or so about work. Then I decided I wanted to see her reaction about Austin.

"So mom, you remember Austin?" I asked cautiously.

"What about him?" She questioned sternly.

"How would you feel if he ever came back into the picture?" I awaited her answer.

"Honey, what you and Austin had was great and he loved you. I knew he did, and he became a big part of this family, your father and I both loved him like he was our own son, but I can't make your decisions for you. Whatever you feel you should do, then do it. No harm, no foul, right? I mean everything happens for a reason and sometimes we have to learn the hard way. But, I could never fully hate Austin. He have me my grand baby. And I love that little girl." She smiles over to Fallon who was playing with her barbies.

"You're right." I smiled standing up, going over to get Fallon to go home.

"I'll see you later mom, I gotta go home and get dinner going and stuff. I love you, call me tomorrow yeah?" I hugged her.

"Okay honey, be safe. Love you too." She smiles waving me off.

I got home in one piece and took Fallon inside. I saw Alan sitting on the couch watching Spongebob and Fallon immediately running over to him jumping on top of him. Sometimes a part of me thinks, just talk to Austin about him remembering you then start a relationship with Alan. He'd make a great father, and he already loves her, and he loves me. He loves me so much, and I love him too. But is it the same chemistry that I carried with Austin in our relationship.

"Alan do you love me?" I questioned.

"Yes?" He laughed, "why do you ask?"

"Well I was just wondering how you would feel about us becoming something?" I adverted his gaze, as I twiddled with my thumbs.

"Phoenix, you listen to me now. As much as I would love to start a life with you like I had pictures a hundred times before but I will not be the guy you settled for because you were afraid of what the future might hold with Austin. I love you with all my heart but you have to understand that nice guys finish last and that's fine. I'll be happy for you no matter the decision. But, if worst comes to worst then I would like to try something with you. I really really would. But for now, let's just see where things goes." He smiled.

"Thank you." I whispered. I needed to hear that.

"I'm gonna go down to do laundry, you need anything done? And could you watch her?" I questioned.

"no I don't, and yeah I can do that." He said tickling her.

I gathered my clothes and went to walk down to the basement. I opened my door and saw Austin leaning against his.

"Phoenix!" He yelled at the sight of me.

"Yeah?" I asked confused, "what are you doing in the hall? Were you waiting for me or something?" I asked.

"Um, I mean, no." He said looking away.

"Could we talk?" He asked, motioning to go in his apartment.

"is Gielle home?" I nervously asked.

"No, please come inside." He begged, and I followed him inside.

I sat down, hands shaking and heart rate going out of control. I was nervous beyond belief, and had been dreading this all day long. But, I guess I have to face it.

"How could you not tell me it was you?" He asked, sadly. Which angered me.

"How could you not fucking remember who I was? I mean c'mon Austin, I have not changed that much." I said sternly.

"Well you do have a kid, which from that I get you've moved on." He sighed.

"Well you went back to Gielle after promising you wanted nothing to do with her." I said.

"Well you said you'd keep in contact." He spoke, staring directly at me. How the fuck could he say that? He was the one that broke all possible ties between us. I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes.

"We'll you said till the stars fall from the sky..." I chokes out.

"Oh my god you remember that?" He stuttered wide eyed.

"Do you still have the ring I gave you?" He asked lowly.

"No, it's somewhere in the ocean." I said, and I wasn't lying.

"You... You threw it away? You just fucking threw it away like we were nothing? Like I never meant a god damn thing to you!" He shouted.

"You left me Austin, you left me for 10 months, you left me to figure things out on my own! TO RAISE OUR KID BY MYSELF!" I screamed, then realizing I kinda just told him about Fallon being his.

"Wait... What? She's-she's mine?" He teared up.

"I'm sorry, I should've never said anything." I cried.

"Phoenix please tell me you're not bullshitting with me. Please tell me this is the truth." He said emotionless.

"Yes it's true." I nodded, knowing I was in deep shit.

"Phoenix, she's 4.. That means you were-" he trailed off.

"Pregnant when you left me." I finished his sentence for him.

"Phoenix, can I meet her?" He asked, smiling.

"I don't know Austin. You really want too?" I asked, nervously.

"Yes, she's my daughter I do want to meet my daughter." I beamed, with excitement.

"Okay, then come on." I said standing up, and wiping my tears on my shirt, smiling because I thought this day would never happen.

We walked into my apartment and saw Fallon and Alan playing on the floor, laughing their heads off.

"Fallon, come see mommy for a second." I called, causing her to jump and run to me, but as soon as she saw Austin she became the little shy girl and hid her head into my shoulder.

"Fallon, remember how I told you daddy was away on vacation? And he wouldn't be back for a very long time?" I asked her, and she nodded. I only told her that because that's what my mom told me and I bought into it.

"well this is daddy." I smiled at her putting her down on the ground.

"Daddy?" She questioned so innocently.

"Yes sweetheart, I'm your daddy" Austin said tearing up and as ran into his chest, he kissed her repeatedly and told her he loved her as they both cried.

"Get over here." He said pulling me into his embrace.

"This is what I want forever, this family." He smiled.

He put Fallon down on the ground and knelt down beside her staring into her giant blue orbs.

"Listen to me honey, daddy isn't going anywhere and I will love you until the stars fall from the sky." He smiled up at me after he finished, and Fallon simply nodded.

His eyes still fixated on me I mouth "till the stars fall from the sky."

Notes

Okkkk enjoy!
Sorry it took so long! :(
steph <3
^-^