Wounds of Regret

~Austin's POV~

I hung up the phone with our tour manger in dismay. The guys and I had all decided it would be best to reschedule our next tour in light of the recent events with Alan. I felt terrible for all the fans but I knew there was no way Alan could tour in this state.

As expected, Alan didn't take the news very well. Even though he refused to admit it, I knew he blamed himself. I couldn't really do anything about it though, my one priority was to get Alan better.

Alan had been staying with me for two whole days and I'd spent them putting off the dreaded talk I knew we needed to have. There had been absolutely no talk about what I'd walked in on, and it was obvious we were both sneaking around the subject.

I knew it was time to give Alan an ultimatum. On the contrary to his beliefs, the boys eating disorder and depression weren't so secret to me anymore. He was under the false notion that I didn't see the food he 'discretely' threw in the trash when he thought I wasn't looking, or the way he'd get lost in his own mind.

I was going to fix Alan no matter what it took, and that started with getting him healthy again. I wasn't about to sit by as the love of my life let his mind take over him. It was by a stroke of pure luck that he was even here in the first place. I was determined to bring back my Alan.

I thought briefly about mentioning what he wrote in his letter about loving me, but I knew now was not the time. As much as I wanted to be with him, he needed to get better first.

"Hey Alan!" I raised my voice, walking towards the guest room I'd given him to sleep in.

"We need to talk."


~Alans POV~

[An hour later]

I laid mindlessly in Austins arms, curled up on the couch smiling while watching Austin laugh at some shitty reality TV show that was on. My mind began to wander back to the conversation we'd had just minutes before.

Ever since Austin found me a few days ago, I knew we'd have to talk about it eventually. I was just hoping it would be later than sooner. The past few days I'd tried to brush off the topic, talking about anything and everything other than the giant elephant in the room.

I thought I'd been doing a good job at hiding the whole truth from Austin, but it turns out he wasn't as oblivious as I thought. As soon as we sat down for the talk I'd been dreading for days, he was nothing but straight forward.

I was almost shocked at how blunt he was, launching straight to the point we'd both been dancing around these past few days. Austin gave me an ultimatum: Let him help me or get out. We both knew I couldn't say no.

He set up an eating plan for me, starting at one full meal a day and at least two snacks. I was a bit wary, but I knew there was no way I could say no to him. The second part of the agreement was that I had to tell him everything. This wouldn't be too much of a problem for me, considering I was a terrible liar anyways.

We ended up talking for almost an hour, and it went a lot smoother than I thought.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt Austin lips lightly brush against my forehead. Smiling, I snuggled closer into his chest, burying my face into his neck. I breathed in slowly, taking in the smell of cologne and Austin.

He flashed me one of his brilliant smiles, his eyes twinkling with humor. He placed another kiss on my forehead before moving to get up.

"Nooo" I whined, tightening my grip around his neck.

Austin let out a small laugh before trying to pry my arms off from under him.

"Alan get off I need to make dinner!" He complained, huffing out another cute little laugh that I loved so much.

When it was clear I wasn't about to get up any time soon, Austin shot me a mischievous look before promptly grabbing my waist and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Let go of m-" I laughed as Austin shot towards the kitchen with my body still draped over his shoulder.

With one hand holding me in place, he began grabbing ingredients from the cabinets, which proved to be a difficult task one-handed.

"What are you doing??" I laughed, curiously trying to look over his shoulder.

"Making dinner." He replied casually, starting to mix unknown ingredients into a bowl.

"Well, can you let me down now?" I questioned, still trying to free myself from his grip.

"Nope." Austin said, unphased by my attempts to be set free.

We stayed like that the whole time, me trying and failing to get free while Austin continued to make dinner, chuckling occasionally.

Finally when he was done, Austin brought the plates to the table, still only using one hand. He finally set me down on the ground, acting as if nothing had happened. I playfully swatted him, pouting. He let out a loud laugh before finishing placing all the food on the table and telling me to sit.

"Bon appetite." Austin croaked in a crappy undetectable accent.

I snorted loudly before covering my mouth in embarrassment. We both began to laugh, and several seconds later we both found ourselves wiping tears from our eyes.

"I don't even think that was French." I breathed, letting out a final laugh.

We both sat down, and it hit me that this was the first time I had felt genuinely happy in a long time.

I could really get used to this, I thought as I swirled some of the Pasta Austin had made with my fork, taking my first bite.

Notes