Austin's POV

"Mum?" I whisper, taking her hand and stroking the back with my thumb.
She stirs and then slowly opens her eyes. She looks weak and pale. Numerous tubes are coming out of her nose and arms, connecting to different machines and fluids. I hated seeing her like this but I tried to focus on the noise of the heart monitor slowly beeping away next to me. It meant she is alive and she's OK.
"Austin." She smiles, he voice croaky. "How are you honey?"
I look down at my feet and laugh. There she goes again, always putting people before herself. She's sat there recovering from a heart attack and she's asking me how I am. Typical mum.
"I'm fine mum." I smile. "The main thing is how are you?"
She gives me a weak smile before putting her free hand over mine. "Stop worrying about me."
"I'm not going to do that." I reply, squeezing onto her hand as tight as I could without hurting her.
"Where's Alan? I thought he was coming today?" She asks, wheezing and coughing slightly as she speaks.
"Um... Well-" I begin before pulling my hand out of hers and scratching the back of my neck.
"What's happened?" Her eyes widen in shock.
"N-nothings really, happened." I admit. "It was just a little disagreement."
"So are you two OK? Is everything sorted?"
"Well..."
"Austin Robert Carlile!" She says sternly, slapping me lightly around the back of the head. "Don't you dare lose him."
"I don't want to lose him mum but he kissed someone else! What am I supposed to do?" I snapped back.
"Are you sure he kissed someone else?" She asked, looking confused.
"I saw him do it mum." I sigh, looking down at my lap.

I was extremely upset about what had happened at Shayley's party. I hadn't spoken to Alan since and that was three days ago. I know he's worried because he hasn't stopped calling and texting me, both to which I haven't answered. I'm not avoiding him personally, I'm just trying to avoid his apology. I can't face it right now because I don't want him trying to make up some ridiculous excuse when he and I both know what I saw. I'd rather him just admit he kissed Shayley and we can get on with things. Admittedly, I was a dick that night too and I know I upset Alan but that gives him no excuse to go kissing other guys. I was heartbroken and escaped from there as soon as it happened. It took me hours to get home since I was way over the limit and it was pitch-black outside. I don't know if Alan went home or not that night. He probably stayed with Shayley. He probably slept with Shayley.
I shook the thought out of my head as soon as it appeared. Alan wouldn't do that. He loved me and I loved him. I knew there was no way he would ever cheat on me, just like I would never cheat on him. So why did he think it was OK to kiss Shay?

"Did you see him initiate the kiss?" My mum questions, her bright brown eyes showing nothing but love and concern.
"Well, no." I admit, shaking my head slightly.
"Did you see him kiss this person back?"

I thought for a moment until a shocking realization entered my train of thought. Alan didn't kiss Shayley back. He didn't even have his eyes closed. In fact, if I think back to it enough, Alan didn't even look comfortable with it at all.
"No, he didn't." I sighed.
"Well then, what's the problem?" My mum laughs. "The other person was probably drunk and took advantage of the fact that Alan was alone. That doesn't mean Alan had anything to do with it or even wanted it to happen."
I smiled up at her and let out a sigh of relief, running a hand through my hair and leaning back in the uncomfortable, plastic chair.
"I guess you're right." I say.
"I'm always right." She smiles.
I lean over and give her a kiss on the cheek and get ready to leave, whispering a heartbreaking goodbye. No matter how many times I visit her, it's always hard to see her like this and not be able to bring her home with me.
"Oh and Austin." She calls after me as I begin to walk away. "Alan loves you. I know he does. He looks at you the way I look at your father; completely fixated and devoted. It's a rare thing to find. Don't throw it away Austin, because if I'm not here one day then I need to know you have someone to look after you and to love you as much as I do."
I smile at her and nod. "I'm never letting go of him mum, I promise."

* * *

I sat in my car, parked a few meters away from Alan's house. I don't know how long I'd been sat there. It could have been only a few minutes but it felt like hours. I didn't know what to say to him. I know that no matter how hard I try to apologize he might not even accept it. After all, it's me that's messed up, not him. After speaking to my mum I realized I probably shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I should have waited to get Alan's side of the story before I went ahead and assumed I knew everything already. I guess at the time I was just so shocked and upset, I didn't even process the whole situation properly. Deep down I knew Alan would never do something like that. Of course he wouldn't, because he's honest, trust-worthy and gentle and would never do anything to hurt anyone.

I take a deep breath and get out of my car, making my way up the stoned drive-way to his house. I knock twice and the door immediately opens, revealing a smiling. happy-looking Alan.
"Hi." I say, my throat dry and my voice too quiet.
"Oh." He replies, his smile faltering. "I thought it was someone else."
"Do you want me to leave?" I ask, my heart feeling like it was being pulled out of my chest.
"N-no, it's fine. What did you want?"
"I came to apologize. I shouldn't have rejected your calls or ignored your texts. I was being an idiot." I begin.
"Yeah, you were." Alan says, monotone. His face was expressionless and he held the door open only enough to reveal his face, the rest of his body was hidden behind it.
"Look, I'm sorry Alan. I don't want to fight and I shouldn't have over-reacted with what happened with Shayl-"
"Austin, I think you had better get going." Alan mutters, looking to the ground.
That's when I hear laughing and talking from behind me. I turn to find Shayley and Aaron making their way up the driveway.
"Oh, shit." Shayley mutters when he notices me. Him and Aaron stop talking and freeze, standing motionless in the middle of the path.
I put on my best fake smile to cover up the anger that was slowly starting to build up inside of me. "I was just leaving." I explain to Shayley and Aaron, who were fidgeting awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. "Call me when you're finally ready to talk Alan because I'm not going to carry on a relationship like this."
"You're threatening to break up with me?" He laughs, his once neutral expression turning to shocked.
"No, God, of course not Alan. I love you more than anything in this entire world." I start, walking back over to him. "I'd never break up with you. I'm just saying that I don't want to carry on like this because it's not fair on either of us. I just want us to be happy."
I take his hands in mine and he stares at them for a moment before pulling his away and pushing them in his hoodie pockets. His brown eyes were filled with sadness and his bottom lip trembled as if he's was about to cry.
"Please leave, Austin." He whispers before turning and walking back into his house, Shayley and Aaron following after him.

The front door closes and I stare at it, half expecting it to open again and for Alan to run into my arms and tell me everything between us is OK. But it never happened.
The sky turned grey and light rain drops began to fall onto and around me. It hardly ever rained here. In fact, it was quite an unusual occurrence. It got heavier and soon the rain was bouncing off the pavement and soaking me from head to toe. I didn't move, or go to sit in my car. In fact I just stood there, enjoying the fact that the rain fall disguised the tears that were now falling continuously from my eyes.

Notes

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 20,000 VIEWS YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!
I know you're all going to hate me for this chapter, just like you hated me for the last chapter but I promise, this will all make sense in the sequel!
I'm kinda sad that there's only one more chapter left to go but I'm very excited about staring the sequel. The last chapter of this shall be uploaded maybe Saturday or Sunday so then the sequel will begin sometime next week.

- Georgia x