Hazel's pov

I couldn't stop thinking about what Austin said, and just Austin in general as I got myself dressed.

I thought of my dream, the first good dream I've had in what seems like forever. I don't know where it came from and I don't know why I told him about it. Normally I wouldn't, but it just slipped out. When he was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes, just like in my dream... I couldn't help it.

I wish I could just stay in the dream forever.

But I'm stuck in this nightmare and I just have to get over it.

I have to get dressed in what I'm going to wear to the funeral today because we have to leave soon. I feel a heaviness on my shoulders as I do, not ready for today.

I finish getting ready, but before I go downstairs, I stop and sit on the edge of my bed. I bow my head down, running my hands over my face and letting out a big sigh. I feel like all the energy has been drained from me these last few days and I want more than anything to just curl up in my bed and sleep forever. I don't want to go downstairs and say goodbye to my friends, I don't want to think about Syd, or my mom, and I don't want to say goodbye to my dad again.

But I have to. And I don't know where I get the motivation to get up off this bed again, but I do it and start to go downstairs.

As I start to get to the bottom of the stairs, the smell of cooking food fills my nostrils. I breathe it in and head into the kitchen. It's now catching up to me that I haven't ate in days, but I still can't seem to make my queasy stomach feel hungry. I just feel sick.

When it's noticed that I'm awake, all the attention is on me. Everyone is up and they all say their good mornings. "Morning, bub," Alan comes over and gives me his sideways hug like he always does.

I have a bit of de ja vu, thinking back to when Alan stayed here and would greet me every morning before we sat down to have breakfast with my dad and Syd. My dad would always be the second to say good morning, giving me a lazy hug from his seat when I brought him orange juice.

Sadness creased itself into my face as I thought of this, and I squeezed Alan a little bit tighter than necessary. I feel my body trying to suppress a breakdown.

When Alan and I pull apart, I get a few more hugs from others. I appreciated each one, but I just have always loved hugs in general. Especially now, they feel really good.

Oli was the last one I released, and when I did I felt everyones eyes on me. I glanced around at them, and they all held the same look in their eyes. They were looking at me with worry, but also like they were waiting for something to happen.

I was confused, but quickly Alan spoke to get everyone to shake it off. "Uh, we made you breakfast!" He said, holding his arms up.

I now looked behind him to the kitchen counters that were filled with food. "French toast, bacon, and eggs. Your favorite," Alan smiled and my heart immediately was touched. A sad smile came weakly off my face as I look at everyone watching me with a hopeful expression that I'd like it.

"You guys didn't have to do that," I say, touched by it so much I wanted to tear up. They really were the best of friends, I didn't deserve people this great.

"We thought it might make you feel better, Love," Oli said from beside me and I turned to look at him, tears now welling in my eyes. I have no clue why I'm nearly crying, but I guess I've been crying a lot lately. I just feel really emotional and vulnerable and I can't imagine what I'd do without everybody here. "Love," Oli chuckled lightly. "No need to cry, now."

"Aww," Tino chuckled, too, coming over and wrapping me in a bear hug. Nearly everyone followed after and soon it was a big group hug.

I bit my lip to hold my stupid cries inside as I rested my head on Tino's warm chest and all of us held each other close. "You're our girl, Hazel," Tino says and I squeeze him tighter. I felt the love and protection they were all putting off. Besides Izzy, I was always the only girl in this group and I guess now I've got all of their protection, like I'm the little sister or something.

"You guys are the best," I say as everyone pulls away, wiping away the tears under my eyes and smiling slightly.

"You know it, Love," Matt N. elbows me playfully with a smile before walking over to the table. I bite the inside of my cheek and turn to follow him along with everybody else. Since there wasn't much room at the table, a few brought their plates out to the living room after getting their food.

I walked over to the counter to serve myself, gnawing on my cheek as I looked at all the food. I just couldn't find my appetite that I would normally have for this meal.

Sensing a presence next to meet, I looked up to see Austin came to stand by me. He looked at the food, so I looked away from him to the counter, too. "Are you feeling hungry?" He asks quietly.

I glance up at him once more, meeting his gaze before shaking my head slightly and looking away again. "I don't feel very great, but I'll try to eat some," I say, feeling bad that I'm not that hungry and they went to all this trouble.

"Good," Austin nodded before leading me to get the food. When I grabbed a few pieces of bacon, he reached to put a few more on my plate. I looked up to him when he did, but he didn't look at me, just continued to get more food for himself and acting as it never happened. The bacon was the only thing he added to my plate because I think he knows that if I'm bound to eat something, it will be bacon.

When we get all our food, Austin follows me to the table. I slide into the spot next to Aaron, leaving an extra seat open next to me. I was slightly surprised, and slightly hurt when Austin didn't sit there, instead down at the end of the table.

I couldn't help myself from looking over at him, even when he met my gaze. I think he could see the hurt and confusion in my eyes, but he smiled slightly, probably because he's glad I was wanting him to sit by me.

He nodded his head to signal over to someone and I looked up to see my brother coming downstairs and grabbing himself a mountain of food. Austin was saving the seat for my brother, I understand now.

I looked back to Austin and he raised his eyebrows slightly at me, waiting to see if it was okay. I sent a weak smile, that really didn't couldn't as a smile, but was enough for him to accept. He nodded and I looked away, down at my food, wondering if Austin was trying to get on my brother's good side.

"Sleep well?" Aaron asked from next to me, getting my attention to move onto him.

I looked at him and nodded, trying to send another weak smile.

Aaron nodded in return, but his eyes stayed on me, studying me. "What?" I ask, wondering why he's looking at me like that and feeling uneasy under his stare.

"You tell me," he says with a shrug. Aaron has always been could at figuring out when something is wrong or someone is upset. I guess it's obvious that I'm upset, but I think he sees that there is something else that is bothering me.

I sigh, looking down at my plate and playing with my fingers. "You guys are too good to me. I don't deserve all this."

I look up and Aaron nods, looking across the room as he thought about what I said. "Would you do the same for any of us?" He looks back down at me to ask.

I don't hesitate to nod. "Of course I would, you guys mean the world to me."

Aaron smiles slightly at me. "Exactly."

I look at him, now getting hit with what his point is. And it's a good point.

I nod, pushing a breath out of my nose, accepting what he said. It made me feel slightly better. "Thanks," I say.

"No need to thank me Hazel, we're all just as happy to have you in our lives as you are us," he playfully nudges my shoulder.

His words swirl in my head as I look up and around me, looking at all the faces that smile at me. Normally it would always be just my dad, Syd, and me sitting at this table, and even though I would give anything to have them back and do that, I'm okay with how everything is and everyone around me.

I'm lucky to be surrounded by them, I'm lucky to have what I have. Without them... I don't know if I could survive.

Notes

A short lil chapter! I had this as part of the next chapter, but decided to slip it up to keep updating and because I wanted the next part separate!

I hope you all enjoy, as always. The next chapter may be up tonight, or maybe tomorrow! Let me know what you think :)