"Spin for me!" Jason cheers as he holds my hand above my head, waiting for me to spin. I glare at him playfully, telling him with my eyes that I'm in no way spinning.

"Or don't," he grins at me and uses his leverage on my hand to pull me into him for a warm hug.

I sigh and wrap my arms loosely around his torso.

I was leading everyone to the door because they are about to leave, to which they just noticed the dress I had put on for today. When everyone had finished breakfast, we hung out for a bit, but eventually they started getting their stuff together. My dad's mass is soon and they have to get back on the road.

"You look very nice," Jason says down to me, releasing me from the hug. I send a weak smile up to him
"Very, very, very nice," Oli comes over and throws his arm over my shoulder before pulling me into a hug. His chin rested on top of my head as he did. The rest of the Bring Me boys ended up coming and wrapping themselves around us as well.

" Very pretty!" Matt N. says as they all pull away, the rest of the guys agree.

"Thank you," I say shyly before Oli, who I still lean against, gets my attention.

"I'll miss seein' ya, Love," he says, pulling away, but keeping his hands on my upper arms. "'Specially all perdy like this. But I'll see ya soon, hm?"

I nodded, smiling sadly. "Yeah... Soon."

He placed one hand on my cheek and sent a smile before backing away and stepping to the side. I was nearly tackled into a hug by Tino, Aaron, and Phil after that. I gripped onto them to hold onto my balance.

Tino let go and looked back at me with his big smile. "I know my boy Austin here will take good care of you," he puts his hand on my shoulder, looking at Austin playfully before turning back to me. "But you keep your head up, kay?" He moved his hand to under my chin, lifting it up slightly.

I nodded, even though I know that is going to be a challenge for me to do. "I'll try," I say lightly.

"That's a good girl," he smiles once more before letting me go. I gave Phil and Aaron another quick hug. They both also told me to keep my head up, Phil adding 'chica' and Aaron giving me a knowing look after what we talked about earlier.

My band came up to me after and all gave me quick hugs. "I'll take over for you like I have been," Izzy says warmly. "But the fans miss their star," she nudges my shoulder.

I simply just smile and nod, thinking about my fans I'm letting down, before I look and see Alan standing across the hall and looking at me. I hold my hand out for him, waiting as he smiled and crossed the hall to come to me. Immediately, we connected in an intense hug, squeezing each other. He held me and rocked me to the side a bit before leaning back and smiling down at me.

"You'll be okay," he says after seeing a lingering sadness in my eyes. "You're strong and you've got Austin and your brother here. You can get through this, I know you will."
Alan speaks with such confidence that my mind is tricked into believing him for this small moment, but deep down I'm still not sure if I will be okay so I lean my head back down onto his chest.

"You'll be okay," he repeats quietly down to me, rubbing my back. We stayed like this for a long, lingering moment, but eventually we broke apart and sent each other a sad smile before he walked over to the door with everybody else.

Austin said his quick goodbyes as well, everyone also shaking hands with my brother before the door was opened. Austin comes and stands by me as we watch them.

"Thank you, guys," I blurt out before they can leave. "Thank you... for everything. I love you guys so much... You're like family," my voice cracks. I'm sad to see them leave because I want them here for everything and don't know what the plan will be after this with going back on tour or not. "You are family."

"Haaaazel," they all call back sadly before everyone comes and crushes Austin and I in a big group hug. "Family group hug!" Tino calls out.

"We love you!" They call out in the big mess that is our family...

---

Quietly, I sit down in my dad's old seat at the table, my elbow resting on it and my head resting in the palm of my hand. I'm lost in my old head, trying not to think about what may happen today and still feeling heaviness from all the goodbyes as I wait for Austin.

My brother went to go start the car and get it warmed up while Austin ran upstairs to go get our jackets.

When he finally jogs back down the stairs, I don't even realize as he comes over to me. Not until he crouches down in front of me and looks up into my eyes. "Ready to go?" He asks lightly, being careful with how he talks to me. I think he knows I'm on the verge of easily breaking like glass.

I focus my eyes onto him, noticing his combed hair and his nice suit. I still can't get over how much it touches me that he's here, dressing up nicely for me and my father. It made me nearly cry yesterday.

I nod and Austin stands, offering his hand for help to get up. I accept it, but when I'm standing, neither of us let go.

Much like many other times these past few days, Austin holds my hand and leads me to the door. He holds it open for me and shuts it behind me before we go to the car my brother is waiting for us in. Before we get inside, Austin stops and looks down at me.

"You look very nice, by the way," he says and I look down, gnawing on my lip. "Very beautiful," he whispers, shocking me with his compliment. It's heavy and gets me to look up at him again, too surprised to form a thank you.

Austin avoids my gaze and lets go of my hand, reaching down to open my door for me, but not acknowledging me like that again.

I hesitate to get in, still looking up at him, trying to wrap my head around everything and waiting for him to look back at me. But when he doesn't, I sigh and bend down to slide into the car, getting ready mentally for all that will happen today.

*

My father always taught us to believe in ourselves more than he enforced believing in a God, but yet he was still a Christian man. He never forced religion on us, but he still had his own beliefs.

I, myself, have never been very religious in my life. When I was a kid, my dad would let me accompany him to church if I wanted to, and a few of my friends went to Sunday school so I even tagged along to that, but it never went much further than a few times.

When my dad started getting sicker and sicker, I had to watch him suffer and struggle in no way a good man like my daddy should have. I had to watch my mother leave multiple times and treat us like we weren't even family. I had to watch Syd try not to cry herself to sleep every night. I had to watch my brother leave, possibly to die. I had to watch everyone struggle and that is when I started questioning my beliefs.

There's not a thing I have against religion or believing in something, but after watching my family struggle, especially my dad, I wondered why God would let that happen. I wondered why He would let my daddy suffer, let my family fall apart. If he is real, why did that happen to my dad? Why did all these terrible things have to happen to wonderful people?

Then, when I was with Mark, I needed something... anything to help me. When he was drunk or angry and I was trying to hide somewhere in the house, I'd be so desperate that I held my shaking hands together and pray as well as I could remember, wanting for him to go away. I was so scared.

But what did I get? Nothing. Nothing but black eyes and broken bones and bruises scattered all over my body from him taking advantage of me.

And that's where I gave up on religion. That's the harsh reality.

But my daddy never gave up. He was always optimistic and believed, so today I stop all my opinions about religion and God and forget about them to honor him in the best way I can. I push them out and straighten out my stance as I walk into the church, Austin and my brother on my sides.

When we open the big brown doors to step inside, warm air engulfs me and my eyes immediately start to scan the inside. When I see the beautiful art work all around the small building and the old wooden benches with flowers engraved in the sides, I vaguely remember the few times I came here with my father when I was a child.

This is the church he's gone to almost all of his life, so this is the church his mass will be held.

I feel a little out of my element as we went into the main part of the church, but I think all of us do. Soon the pastor quickly coming over to greet us. The benches were already filled with my dad's friends and family, the first two rows empty for us, the family.

"Ms. Hendrix," Pastor John said, coming over and wrapping me in a tight hug. Pastor John has known my father since I was a baby and I've seen him multiple times throughout my life. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man," he spoke warmly when he released me from the hug and went over to my brother to give him a hug. "He's in a better place now, God is taking care of him."

He sends us both a smile that I return back as best as I can, but it still feels weak. "Thank you," Both Jake and I say quietly, and a little awkwardly.

Austin places his hand on my back, getting me to look up at him so he can signal that he is going to go sit down with the rest of the guests, probably feeling out of place. I nod at him and he turns, putting his hands in his pant pockets as he goes to sit behind the bench that is reserved for family.

The Pastor continues to talk to us about the mass today and how it will run, but I'm too busy staring at the door, waiting for Syd to walk in.

Everything she said to me yesterday is loud in my head and hurts as much as it did when she spoke them. She hurt me so fucking badly that it tears me up. She told me that I was just like our mom, our fucking mother! She was heartless and wanted me to feel pain that I'd never wish on her.

I don't know if I can forgive her for what she said, but I also know that I said some terrible things, too. I fucked up, just like I have many times before. I can't forgive myself, either. But she's my little sister, and this is our dad.

The pastor eventually finished talking, but yet she still wasn't here. He was ready to get started, everyone was, but Syd is not here. She has to be, and if she doesn't come, that is one thing I will never be able to forgive her for.

"We have to wait," I say, looking at him.

"Of course, but we have to get started soon," the pastor explained, holding a hand to his chest. I nodded.

"Five... Ten minutes tops, please," I beg.

He nods and I let out a breath, thanking him before he smiles and turns to leave my borther and I alone to wait. "You think she won't come?" Jake asks. I don't look at him, just at the door like I have been.

"She has to. She can't do this," I say, sadness and desperation in my voice.

Nearly moments after I said that, the door starts to creak open, the bright morning light from outside shinning inside as a figure stepped in. My heart started beating a bit faster as both Jake and I step forward to see who it is.

"It's her," Jake says, Sydney's figure shutting the door behind her.

I feel like one of the small weights have been lifted off my chest, but while I look at Syd, I feel all the pain she caused me yesterday. All the horrid things we said.

When Syd comes over to us, she doesn't even look at me, only Jake as she embraces him in a hug. She knew he was here because he called her last night to talk to her since she ran out yesterday before he could see her.

When they break apart, Syd doesn't acknowledge me or give me a hug like she did him. I feel hurt, especially when she won't even give me a glance, but a desperate anger and betrayal fumes in my stomach.

The pastor notices that she has arrived so he comes over and greats her. Syd doesn't know him very well because she was born so much later after my brother and I, but she still gives him a hug when I got nothing.

"Are we ready?" Pastor John asks us. We nod.

"Okay," he nods back. "Come out whenever you are ready."

He goes out into the main stage of the church where everyone can see him, leaving us three here. Syd doesn't glance my way or say another word as she follows after him, going to take her seat on the empty bench. I notice her glaring at Austin, who watches her and then looks to me when she sits. He sends a smile, not letting Syd get to him and trying to be reassuring. It's a smile I needed.

I sigh out and cast my eyes downwards at my feet, my brother noticing and wrapping his arm around my shoulders, bringing me into him. I bury my face into the side of his chest. "She hates me. She won't forgive me."

"She will, she always does," he says quietly down to me.

I shake my head against him. "She told me I was just like mom," I whisper sadly.

Jake is quiet for a moment, leaving me to listen to his heart beating. "She's just taking her sadness out on you, it's what she's best at. She doesn't know how else to deal with this."
I breathe in a big breath, standing up straight and looking up at my big brother. "It's more than that," I state, my voice sad and on the verge of breaking. "And we don't have dad bring us together anymore."

My voice is sad and Jake just looks down at me, not knowing what to say. His face is in a slight frown, sadness creasing his eyes. He knows I'm right, he knows I'm losing Syd. We both are.

"Come on," I nudge him after a bit of lingering silence. "They're waiting."

I turn to walk the same path Syd did, meeting Austin's eyes as I go to sit on the bench in front of him, Jake at my side. The music coming from the Organ becomes louder and I see the closed casket in the front of the room.

I bite my lip and glance slightly back at Austin, wishing for some sort of comfort from him. I can't help but want it anymore. I can't help but want him.

---

When the mass was over and the service was done, it was time to follow the long black car to the cemetery.

Austin offered to drive so my brother could come sit in the back with me. I stay dead quiet, not being able to form a word because my throat is closed for the last goodbye I will get to say to my daddy.

I hold onto Jake, just wanting my big brother. He doesn't speak a word either, and I know he's hurting terribly.

During the service, a few people spoke, some of my dad's old friends mostly. They kept trying to give an optimistic view on how we should 'remember him, not his death' and to 'push on like he'd want us to'. But the issue is, none of my family is very positive about his death right now. It's agonizing and numbly raw and knowing he's really gone is tough. All we can think about is him being gone.

But what else is new?

A few times during the ride, I caught Austin glancing back at me through the rear view mirror. He could never keep his eyes off the road long to hold eye contact with me, but either way I would look away too fast for that to even be a chance. I don't know what's going on with him and I, but I'm so damn tired of thinking about it. I'm confused and left wanting more, never able to get it. I know I cant.

What seems like a long ride of just me staring out the window at the car in front of us which holds my dad, we eventually arrive at the cemetery. It's where my grandparents are buried, so that's why it was chosen for my daddy, so he can be with his parents now.

I don't get out of the car right away when Austin parks it, instead I just look out the side window. The short grass is covered in a white layer of frost that came from the grey atmosphere and a few trees rustle from the cool wind. Next to one of these trees is a small tent set up, under it my father's casket is sitting on a lowering device that hovers over a large hole in the ground.

Instantly, grief and panic wash over me. I don't want to go out there, not one bit. I don't want to say goodbye, I don't want him to be gone forever! I want him back. I want them to open that casket and let my daddy out because he's in there and can't breathe. He has to get out. He has to. He can't do this to me, I can't lose him. I just can't.

When my door is opened by Austin, I instantly freak and grip onto my brother, scooting back. "No," I push out desperately.

"Hazel?" My brother asks worriedly.

"I can't- I," I shake my head, my chest huffing up and down. I try not to let myself cry because I've managed to go all day without.

When Austin realizes something is up, he crouches down from outside my door and I meet his eyes. Seeing his face makes me feel better and a wave of calmness comes from his eyes and hits me. I don't fail to notice this and it shocks me, but I still am pleading with my eyes to him, my hand gripping onto my brother.

"I don't want to... I can't," I plead weakly.

Austin doesn't move his eyes from mine and he looks at me with a confident face, being strong while I'm so weak so I can use him as my anchor right now. "You can," he says sternly.

I can't form words to say, especially as I look into his eyes, so I just shake my head desperately.

"You can," he repeats, like he's trying to put it in my head to get me to believe it too. "You've gotten through everything so far... everything," he pushes on and I stay quiet, never leaving his eyes. "And you've done so good, you've been so strong." His voice is the only thing strong right now. "I know this sucks. I know it sucks so freaking bad."

I bite my lip to stop it from trembling and nod at Austin. It does suck so fucking bad. I've never felt pain this bad, not like this. Even after being hurt so many times with Mark, with my sister, and even after losing Austin and my Jelly Bean... I recovered from all of that, I grieved and grew, but this... I don't know if I ever will be able to move on from it.

"But this is something you have to do, something you can do," he states.

"I don't want to say goodbye..." I whisper brokenly.

"This doesn't have to be goodbye, Haze," he says strongly, but softly, shaking his head slightly. "He's your dad, he's never going to be gone... But you just have to do this for him."

I squeeze my eyes shut and blow a breath out of my trembling lips. I know Austin is right, I know I have to do this for my dad. I can't let him down, not ever again. But it still hurts and it is draining everything out of me. I don't want to do this . I never thought I'd have to...

When my eyes open back up, Austin is still looking at me with his big brown eyes, but now his palm is resting open on the seat. I know it's for me to take.

I look up from his tattooed hands to meet his eyes that are now boring right into mine, not hiding away like both of ours were during the car ride. There's something in them that holds the strength I need to get out of this car, and the mental confidence I need to know I wont fail. His big, brown orbs are the only thing that get me to take his hand and let him lead me out of this back seat.

He's gentle when he lets his hand enclosing around mine, not removing his eyes from me as he stands back up and helps me up from my seat to outside. Instantly a cool wind makes goosebumps rise on my skin.

When I'm fully out of the car, Austin doesn't let go of my hand again. I don't think I'd let him if he would have tried, because he's my strength right now. That's all there is to it.

I barely catch a glance of my brother with a slightly dropped jaw from just witnessing Austin calming me down and me actually listening to him before he shakes it off to follow to out of the car, too.

I now have to brace myself for actually going over to where my dad will be put to rest forever, and since I can't figure out a way to do this, I just grip Austn's hand and look down at my feet as we walk. To this, Austin gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and I try to use him to take a big breath in to calm down.

It's absolutely freezing out and when we get to the tent set up, I'm nearly shaking from how cold I am. I try to control it as best as I can because it's not the most important thing right now.

The pastor is waiting by the casket, under the tent when we get there and he greets us again. He wears a long black, fancy coat over what he was originally wearing at the church because it is so cold out here.

A few seats are lined up at the edge of the tent, covered in a soft, pretty fabric. I know those are for us, the family. My brother goes over there to sit, and Syd, who was driving behind us, comes up to take one as well. She doesn't look at me again and it makes my heart twinge in pain.

I look away from Syd and up at Austin who's head looks downwards to look at me, too. He gives a silent nod to reassure me and to signal me to go sit with them. Neither of us say anything that we could as I let my hand slip from his and I turn to go walk over to the seats. I take a seat in the one next to Jake and he looks at me to send a small smile. His face never showed much emotion anymore, but in that smile I could see the sadness.

While we waited for everyone else, mostly just some family friends, to park and walk over, I wrapped my hand around my brothers arm, leaning against him slightly as I looked at the ground. My mind was full of grief and heaviness as I studied blades of frosted grass under mine and my brother's shoes.

I was letting my eyes wander around the grass, taking in it's detail, when I ended up starting to look at everyone's feet. My mind just wanted a distraction from all the pain.

My brother was wearing nice, black dress shoes that I think are the only pair he's ever owned. The bottom of them are completely worn, but it's hard to tell. My eyes wander further and I see Syd wearing slightly high heels that I had no clue she had. She's never worn heels before... she wasn't one to ever feel the need to dress up or show off... but now..

I didn't want to think about that anymore, so I just continued to follow the patterns of the grass as the last of the people arrived. As the blades got longer and my eyes went further, I noticed another pair of shoes next to Syd. Immediately, I froze, not knowing who would sit down next to her. I thought this was only for family?

I look up, sitting up straight again, only to have my heart stop at who I see.

My mom.

My heart starts beating a mile a minute and I feel panic returning again. What is she doing here? I didn't think she'd come... I.. oh my God.

I quickly look over to Austin who was watching me. With wide eyes full of panic and showing that I don't know what the hell to do, I meet his eyes. I see him trying to be strong and confident for me still, but I can tell from the clench of his jaw and the hint of agitation in his eyes that it's getting to him slightly. I don't know if he's like this because he doesn't want my mom to make me feel like even more like shit, or because of the encounter he had with her all those months ago left him to hate her.

The pastor is about to start talking, but I'm still panicking and looking to Austin. He shakes his head to the side slightly, signaling me to not do anything about it. This isn't about her right now. He then dramatically takes a deep breath in so I'd notice because that's what he wanted me to do.

I have trouble doing it at first, but after looking into his eyes for long enough I find my breath and suck it in for a while so my chest puffs up, and then push it out with some of my panic right before Pastor John gathers every ones attention.

The thought of my mother lingers in the back of my head, but when the pastor starts reading a poem out of a book about love and loss, I feel sadness infiltrate each and every vein and bone of mine, pumping it like blood throughout my body. I see the casket hovering above the grave and I see the pile of dirt that will cover it and I feel like I'm breaking on the inside.

I want to cry and scream and sink into the ground. I don't want to feel a damn thing, but frankly, I'm the opposite of that right now. I can't control everything rushing around inside of me and I can't let it out either. I'm like a bomb, ready to blow. I just want to explode.

But I don't. I don't even let myself cry because for some reason, I can't find the way. I just wait until Pastor John finishes his poem that was as beautiful as it was heart wrenching and I stand up with my siblings. We all walk over and grab a flower that was given to us to place on top of my daddy's casket.

I walk up to it and place my hand on it, trying to wrap my head around how he is in there, finally peaceful and resting. I stay silent, as does Syd and Jake as we place out flowers on top. We've said I love you enough these past few days, and I'm not saying goodbye. We just stay in the heavy, sad moment for a bit.

We soon step out of the way so other people can put flowers for him, and I try to ignore my mother standing in the corner of the tent as we go out from under the tent and all lean on each other to watch. I still hold onto my brother's arm and soon Austin comes next to my free side. I reach for his hand to hold again as they start lowering my daddy into the grave.

There is no words to describe what I feel as I watch him go. There's no words to describe this whole experience, just sadness. It's strong and undeniable and runs through all of us as we link together, using each other as support as we watch our daddy get laid into his final resting place, right next to his parents.

Austin may not be feeling the sadness we are, but I know he still is feeling it. He's too good of a man not to, and I know he feels sadness for me, too.

I can't seem to look away, not even when the lowering-machine has brought the casket all the way down and is soon being taken away. I can't seem to let go and I don't think I can. My heart went down there with my dad, to be buried away forever.

It's not until there is a tug on my hand that snaps me out of it. Austin is looking at me with soft, understanding eyes that I only am able to look at for a second before I fill with sadness again.

But looking away allows me to see Jake and Syd are starting to turn around. I don't know what goes through my head when I see Syd walking away, but I know I can't lose her here, too. So I don't stop myself from calling out her name. "Syd," I turn and step towards her.

She stops, taking a moment to turn to face me. I have a feeling she doesn't want to.

"I-" I open my mouth to start, but sigh. There's so many things I want to say, but there's only one I need to. "I'm sorry." It was genuine and straightforward, and right now, I know it was all either of us needed. This was our dad and she is my sister.

She breathes out a light breath, her face fading from being so tight and stern. "I'm sorry, too."

I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest and send her a weak smile to which she tries to return, but were both too sad for them too be anything close to a real one. But it's enough. After today, we both know that we can't stay like this.

Syd turns away again to start walking to her car, but I don't feel bad this time as I watch her. I know things are still shaky, but I will make them get better. For daddy.

I turn back to Austin and meet his eyes. He sends me a small, sad smile. "Let me take you to breakfast," he says softly. "Or lunch... whichever you want."

It's a simple offer, but I think I'm glad he made it. All I want to do is go home and get in my bed and cry until I pass out so I don't have to feel anything anymore, but in the back of my mind I know that, that is a terrible thing to do. I know it would be better to accept Austin's offer, no matter how much I want to shut down. I think if he wasn't here, I probably would have already.

As I am about to respond, I catch sight of my mom's figure over Austin's shoulder. It makes me freeze, but then I see her pull something out of the pocket of her jacket and bring it up to her lips. She was drinking. She brought alcohol here.

It set off something inside of me and I think Austin saw the fire in my eyes because he tried to stop me, but he wasn't quick enough. I was rushing over to her before he could stop me, but he still quickly followed.

My jaw was clenched and I just wanted to scream at her and get her out of here. She can't come here and drink! She already did that enough when my dad was alive!

When I get to her, I take her, and myself, by surprise when I immediately grab onto the container of alcohol she has and rip it out of her hands aggressively. "Why are you here?" I snap, my voice raised.

She snorts a laugh. "Why am I here?" She repeats sarcastically.

"Yes," I say through gritted teeth. "Why are you here now?"

"I loved-"

"Bullshit!" I cut her off. I don't have any patience. I'm drained and just done. "You were never here before so you don't get to be here now!"

She shakes her head, smirking a bit. "You're despicable," she stated. Her tone had no remorse, no true sadness in it.

"No," I shook my head, my mouth curled in disgust. "I'm my daddy's daughter and I'd do anything for him. I always have," I state fiercely. "So I'm not going to let you come here, drunk!" I hold up the bottle. "And disrespect him! You've already put him, and all of us, through enough hell!"

My mom shook her head at me, her black hair that was clipped back bouncing around as her pale lips curled like she was using her tongue to pick at her teeth.

"You didn't love him! You didn't love us! And you don't get to start pretending to now!" There was a slight change in my mom's face, one I had rarely seen before, so I knew I hit a sensitive spot. I didn't have anything left in me to stop, I'm too exhausted and messed up to find some control. "You already lost your chance, you already fucked the great thing you had up! You could have had such a better life if you didn't care so much about your damn self!" I huff, out of breath. "Sydney is my sister, Jake is my brother, but you are not our family. Dad is. We are his only family and we still love him, not loved! You shouldn't have sat in that seat, you shouldn't have even come! You-"

"YOU WEREN'T EVEN HIS DAUGHTER!" She exploded, cutting me off after the truth I went too far with was too hard for her to handle. Her words flew with the wind and hit me hard, piercing my skin. I froze completely, stunned into silence. What? "So stop telling me how I'm not family, or that I didn't love him, like you know what you are saying! Maybe you are no damn daughter of mine, either, but Hazel, you were and always have been a pain in my ass. And now I have no reason to ever need to see you again, just like I know you don't want to see me. So why don't you just go off with your fuck buddies like you always do, and leave this town, and your 'father' alone! And don't fucking come back this time!"

With that she shook her head in disgust at me and turned to walk away from me just like all those times she has before.

I stood there, watching her, absolutely frozen. There were so many things ripping apart my insides that I couldn't get a handle on. So many emotions and so much pain and confusion. I may have gone too far, but I just keep repeating what she said in my head.



Austin's pov:

Profanities spill from under my breath as I watch Hazel's mother walk away. I wish I could yell them at her, let everything out for how much I despise her as a person, but I can't. I just have to watch her walk away, leaving Hazel absolutely frozen.

How could she do that? Say those things? To her own daughter... I'll never, ever be able to understand how someone could be that cruel to family... Someone that is there own flesh and blood.

I shake my head to forget about that because right now, Hazel is all that matters.
She's frozen, like how she was in my bunk over summer. She doesn't move a muscle, not even a twitch. Only her hair gets blown by the wind.

I'm afraid and I don't know what to do... Not after what Hazel's mom said.. I don't know how Hazel will react to that.

I couldn't just stand here, so I try to approach her, worried she might suddenly freak out or have a breakdown. "Haze..." I say gently as I step behind her. I try not to be too quick or sudden to make her snap... I'm afraid she will.

Hoping I can provide some comfort, or ease her back into how she was when I asked her to breakfast, I place my hand gently on her back. I open my mouth to say her name again, but she nearly makes me jump when she suddenly spins around to face me. I'm slightly shocked still so I just watched her as she breathed out.

"You asked me if I wished things were still like what they were over the summer?" She asks randomly, thinking back to this morning. Her voice is bland and void of much emotion. I nod, watching her. I see pain in her eyes. She's quiet for a moment, sucking in a slight breath before she speaks again, just above a whisper. "..I just wish things were anything but this."

I can barely rap my head around what she said, or what it meant, before in the blink of an eye, she's turning and running away.

Notes

Ah, I'm so shitty at updating regularly now. I'm sorry:( But here is a super long chapter that I've been working on forever!

I have break after this week so I will be updating MUCH more frequently! And trust me, a lot more Austin&Hazel stuff coming up now that everything with her dad has basically been wrapped up. You guys will love it, I hope!:)

Thank you guys for everything, let me know what you think!<3