"Alright. Yep-yeah, I got it. I know, I'll take care of her. Thanks, man." I listen to Austin on the phone with Alan, sneaking glances up at him as I sit sideways on one of the seats in the waiting area of the airport terminal. He called Alan up after I had cursed at him and called him an idiot for turning back and leaving his plane for me. We both thought it would probably be a good idea to mention that he never got on the plane and won't be there for the upcoming shows.

Idiot.

"See ya," Austin says before bringing the phone back away from his ear and hanging up. His head turns to look over at me and I quickly look down to my hands that rest in my lap, picking at the hem of my shirt.

I'm tempted to look up and return Austin's stare because I can feel him looking down at me, but I don't, I pretend like I don't notice while silence lingers. Austin is the one to break the tense quietness. "Are you hungry?" He asks.

I glance up at him and meet his eyes for a split second before darting them back down and shaking my head no.

"Are you sure?" He presses. I shake my head yes this time, not talking. "You have to eat-"

I shake my head no again, I'm not hungry. My stomach is tight and tense, still in shock from everything that's been going on. I'll be sick if I eat because my thoughts have poisoned me.

Austin sighs loudly. "Are you going to talk to me?" I can picture him raising his eyebrow, a little agitated, but I don't look up. I just shake my head no again. I'm afraid that if I open my mouth I'll either start crying, start yelling, or worse; say something I'll regret. Especially after Austin just said all that stuff to me.

I'm not leaving you!

His words echo in my head and in my heart.

From now on I'm going to be here, even if you don't want me. Your dad told me to take care of you and hell, that's what I'm going to do!

"Fine," Austin sighs again, giving up. "Let's go pick up my bags and then head over to our terminal then, okay?"

My eyes flicker up to him, meeting his warm ones and giving a curt nod before unraveling myself from my position and standing up. Austin does the same, but a little more ungraciously because his legs are so long they were basically up to his chest when he sat. I watch as he puts his carry-on backpack on his back again before looking down at me to see if I'm ready.

My expression as I look back at him isn't angry or upset like it would have been before all this happened, instead it's soft and glum because for some reason Austin being nice to me makes me think about everything that's happening which makes me sad.

Austin's faces softens as he looks at me and tries to send a reassuring smile. "You can wait for me here if you want," he tries, his voice sympathetic and light, not snappy like before.

My eyes close as I press my lips together, shaking my head no again to reassure him it was really okay. When I open my eyes again I barely let my lips twitch into a smile for Austin before I walk over to his side. We look at each other, my head cranked up and his down. "Okay," he nods, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes hold a yearning gaze in the lingering moment, but he blinks it away. "Let's go get ready to go home then."

Home.

I take in a big breath, nodding as I let it out. Will I ever be ready to go home?

*

Luckily, Austin was able to get all of his bags in one piece and a ticket for the flight to Washington.

We still had a good 20 minutes before our flight even starts to board, so Austin made me get up and go wander around with him. Well, I guess he didn't necessarily make me do anything, but when he noticed I was zoning out and starting to think about really bad, depressing stuff, he took action. "It's no good to just sit here, let's go see what's around," he said, offering a smile. I could tell he only said that because he noticed me going into a bad place, the sound of his voice and how he was being overly kind proving it.

But I didn't argue. I'm happy to have anything to get my mind off of things.

We both only had our carry-ons with us, so we slid the bags on our backs and started to walk around, looking at all the little shops in the airport. We passed a couple food places and even a store that held big, winter jackets and ski stuff, to which Austin made a comment on, saying that it's supposed to start snowing a lot soon. Besides that, it was pretty quiet between us as we walked.

That is until we ended up in by a sweets shop that was colorful from all the candy it had. Austin, not being able to contain his inner child, couldn't stop himself from getting a little excited and going inside.

Currently, I was helping him pick out some candy to put inside his bag. I pointed at the Sour Patch Kids when I saw them, knowing they were his favorite. His face lit up in a smile at me and he quickly went to go put some in his bag. I felt a little bit better being here with him, watching him. I don't know what I'd do right now if I had been alone. I'm kind of glad Austin was an idiot.

We were almost finished in the candy shop, walking to pay when Austin skidded to a stop, staring at something. I peaked over his shoulder to see the assortment of lollipops he was looking at. "Remember that time we went into that toy store," he starts as he reaches out to grab one. I gulp, knowing where this is going. "...And we got chased out, but I still managed to steal you that lollipop?" He turns to me, a tiny smile ghosting on his face, trying to get me to smile.

Of course I remember that. How could I forget?

Austin's arm is extending out, as if he's handing me the lollipop. I look at him, then it, remembering very clearly the times when things were better, happier, and just... not this. Why did he have to bring it up? Just to remind me that everything is shit now?!

I snap.

I take the lollipop out of his hand and reach over to where he found it, slamming it back down harshly. It cracks and I take him, and myself, by surprise. My emotions are all on edge and messed up. "It doesn't matter anymore," I hiss, spinning on my heel to start leaving this stupid, stupid shop. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Austin is stunned, but then shakes it off when he realizes what just happened and that I'm getting away. "Wait," Austin stutters, shocked as he spins to rush after me. "What do you mean it doesn't matter anymore?"

With cheeks pink from emotion, I spin around to get back in his face. "That's over. We've been over! For a long time. None of that matters because things aren't like that anymore! We aren't like that anymore. I don't even know if I still hate you or not!"

Hurt flickers over Austin's face and before I have to look at it any longer, I spin to exit the store. Austin follows after me again, grabbing my upper arm to stop me and turn me back around.

"Why do you think I'm even here right now, Haze?" He asks, the way he says my nick-name makes me breathe in a deep breath. I don't know how to answer. I can't. "Of course things still matter! If they didn't matter then we wouldn't have been at each other's throats for the past weeks! We wouldn't have done the things we've done and I sure as hell wouldn't be here if it didn't matter! If we didn't matter!"

Austin's chest is huffing and I notice the man who worked at the store was standing behind Austin and I, eyeing the bag of candy Austin just accidentally stole. I tried to think of that as an excuse to get out of this situation. I can't do this, even if I started it. "Stop it," I say, trying to move from his grip on my arm.

"Stop what, Hazel?" He presses, stepping in front of me again. "Please tell me what I'm doing wrong! I'm trying to make up for what I did, I-"

"Nothing matters anymore, Austin!" I yell suddenly, getting him to be stunned into silence. "Nothing matters."

"Wha-why... How?" Austin stutters to process what I just said. "Don't go to that place, Haze. Of course they matter, how could you say that?"

"Nothing matters!" I repeat, trying to get him to see as my lip trembles. "Nothing matters anymore. Not me, not you, not anything that we've been through because my dad is DEAD." I breathe harshly. "That is the only thing that matters to me and it's the only thing that ever will because... I don't have a dad anymore! I never will again," my voice cracks at the end and I'm trying so hard to keep my composure, pointing my finger at him as I talk. "And when I go home to plan his funeral and tell my sister, I'm not going to be thinking of you or the lollipop you gave me or even our dead baby because it. does. not. matter! Do you understand?!"

Tears are falling freely down my face, but I don't try to wipe them away, I just look at Austin with big, exhausted eyes, waiting for his answer. His expression his hurt, but also sad because everything I just said... It all came from a dark, angry place.

Austin doesn't respond, he just looks at me, speechless. I close my eyes, pressing my lips into a fine line as I take in a big breath through my nose, accepting that he doesn't get it and won't respond to tell me he does. I barely get my eyes open again before I start backing away from Austin, ready to escape this all.

Austin tries to follow me, but the owner of the candy store steps after him. Austin notices and turns around to look at the man, then the bag of candy in his hand, realizing he just accidentally stole it. Quickly, Austin shoves it into the man's hands before spinning and jogging after me. "Hazel," he calls. I don't listen, just start walking faster away from him. "Hazel Hendrix," Austin breathes sternly, lunging after me and grabbing onto my hand to stop me. "Look at me," he demands, spinning me around and pulling me into him. My body is pressed up against his, reminding me of how it used to be in old times, and I notice sets of eyes on us. I try to wiggle out of his grasp, but his free hand comes up to rest on my back and hold me tight to him. I can't get free. "Look at me, right now," he growls again. I have no choice.

"It matters to me," he says in a harsh, breathy voice as he looks down at me with intense eyes. "It matters to me and even though you think it doesn't right now, it does to you, too. I know it. I've felt what you are right now, I've been through the same thing, you know that," he says, his voice upset and dark as his eyes bore into mine. "So stop trying to fucking push me away because it's not going to work. Not in your wildest dreams. Do you understand me?" He throws my question right back at me. I don't respond, now in the position he was just in and speechless. My silence does not please him.

"Come tell me when you realize that I'm here for a reason and I'm not going anywhere," he says with a deep voice before turning and storming off towards where we were sitting to wait for our plane.

I felt like he spit the words at me and now for the second time in the past hour, I'm standing here shocked and emotional at what Austin's said to me. Initially, I want to be angry. How dare he get upset with me! He knows I'm going through a lot, he knows yelling at me won't help!But then as I think about it, I realize that not only is yelling the only way to get through my thick skull, but also, Austin's right.

I never thought I'd admit that before.

We might stand on a bumpy road, we might still have a lot of problems, and we might be recovering from wanting to kill each other, but he still is here for me. And I need him. I need him to remind me that this pain won't last forever, that even though things may not seem to matter right now, time will heal my broken heart and they eventually will again.

I can only think of one thing to do now.

I run my hands over my face and through my messy hair to try and gain my composure again before turning back to the candy store. The man that followed us to get the bag of candy we accidentally stole back was standing in the middle of it and staring at me with a slightly dropped jaw.

I slid my hands into the back pocket of my jeans, searching around for some crumpled money I know I have in there. When I find it, I attempt to hand it to the man. "Sorry," I send him a sad, apologetic smile. "Can I still have the candy?"

It takes the man a minute to respond as he looks at the money I offer him, then back into my eyes. Eventually he snaps himself out of it and swats away the bills in my hand. "It's on the house," he smiles lightly, handing the bag of candy to me.

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"It's alright miss. You both seem to have a lot on your plate, allow me to help this much," he presses, urging me to take the candy for free.

The kind man touches my heart through my embarrassment that he heard everything. I find myself even wanting to tear up. "Thank you," I say sincerely and can't stop myself from leaning over and wrapping him in a hug. Like I said, my emotions are out of check and I just.. I just am really thankful for this nice man. I should be more like him.

He is a little shocked, but hesitantly hugs back before I release him and take the candy. I thank him one more time before turning and heading back to Austin. He sits in one of the seats with his back to me and his headphones in.

I suck in a big breath before approaching him and sitting in the empty seat to his right. I don't look at him and he doesn't look at me, but I can hear that he paused his music as I put the bag of candy in his lap. He looks at it with shock. "I never thought I'd be saying this," I start, letting out my breath. I think of the nice man for inspiration. "But.. I'm sorry... And you were right."

Austin yanks his headphones out of his ears and I feel his surprised gaze on me. "Hazel, I-"

"No, please," I cut him off, now too looking at him. "I'm just.. a little unstable right now and Jesus, I have no idea how to deal with all this. So even though things are rocky between us," I signal to the world as if my situation is lying in the air, and then between our two bodies as I talk. "But know that I do appreciate your help, even if it doesn't seem like it," I say, biting my lip before I say the next part as Austin's eyes bore into me. "I'm... I'm glad you're here.... even though you really should have gotten on that plane."

Silence lingers and I look back down at my lap, playing with my hands until Austin responds.

"You're probably right," Austin state, leaning back.

My head snaps up to him in shock and hurt washes over my face. I mean, I know I am right... But I didn't think he'd admit it..

"But it's a good thing that I'm the one who's right and not you," he looks down at me with eyes that help me realize he is joking and teasing me about admitting he was right all along. I scoff, relieved. "Plus, then I wouldn't have gotten to get this candy," he holds it up. "Or gotten you to admit that I'm right," he smiles teasingly down at me and I shake my head.

"Yeah, embrace that because it's never going to happen again," I return his light attitude in a mumble, doing my best not to go into a dark place again. Austin helps.

Austin chuckles. "Yeah, I assumed so, so I will embrace it very much, thank you," he smirks. "But, I'm glad I'm here too, Hazel. I wouldn't feel right being anywhere else."

I meet his eyes again and without saying anything, we connect between the gaze.

"Now boarding Flight 901 to Washington," a new flight attendant's voice is what ruins whatever moment Austin and I were having. We both quickly look anywhere but at each other and do our best to shake it off, cheeks tinted pink.

After scrambling to get our carry-ons and stand up, we start our walk to the attendant. But before we get there, Austin randomly stops in his tracks and grabs my wrist to stop me too. I look up to him in confusion.

"Whatever happens when this plane lands and in these last few days, just know that I don't regret for a second ditching my flight," he immediately says, taking me aback a bit. "Know that I'm glad I have the chance to convince you that things still matter," Austin says, looking down at me with eyes that wait for my understanding.

I screw my head on right and nod to put him at ease, watching as he sent a smilebefore letting go and starting back to give the flight attendant his ticket. I don't follow immediately, instead I think intensely about what things he was talking about..

Is he glad he can convince me that things in general still matter... Or that we still matter....?

Notes

sorry for the short chapter, i kinda had no idea what to write and had a lil writers block but i hope this was okay?

• And I'm sorry for constantly asking if my story is bad and having very little self confidence when I post. I just love all you guys so much and you're all so awesome that I want to please you all and give you the best I can write! But it's so much to live up to and sometimes I don't even live up to what I want in the story and that leaves me feeling poopy! I still continue to try my best even though sometimes I struggle getting to the place with this story that I want to go, even though I know where that place is!!

I love writing for all of you so I really can't complain. Just let me know if there is anything you guys like/dislike or something you'd prefer to happen! I love you all so so much and every single vote and comment and subscription makes me fangirl so much, haha!

Also, I know this story has been pretty dramatic so far and I'm keeping you guys on edge, but I promise that we've already gotten through The Storm. We've just got to get through this Flood and pull ourselves up out of the Depths with the characters before we can arrive at The Calm. (hehe did you like my reference?!) :)

Hope you all are having a great weekend<3