With Me Tonight
I'm a Monster
[A/N]: Content warnings in this chapter!
Hazel's pov:
The past two days have been another one of those long lasting, completely awkward situations. And when I say awkward, I mean really, really awkward.
After getting high together and almost kissing, Austin and I were caught in what seemed to be a never ending uncomfortable tension. I mean, what are we supposed to do? Go back to fighting? Pretend like it never happened? Suddenly become 'besties'. Yeah.. No.
I guess it at least is a good thing we aren't fighting like dogs anymore, that was exhausting, but at the same time I've gotten to the point where I wonder if that would be better... Sure, the fights were ruthless, but the awkwardness haunts me every moment of everyday without escape.
I've been trying my best to ignore Austin, as he has been me, but it's nearly impossible when we are staying together and have no real way to escape each other. It seems at least a thousand times a day we end up making awkward eye contact.
On top of all my Austin problems, I've been having a shitty past two days. Austin has not been the only one ignoring me now that Dom also thinks it's a fun thing to do. And I still haven't talked to Alan. Not once.
I still feel hurt and betrayed by him after I trusted him so much. I mean, I told him how I was feeling and then he just acted like he didn't care and did what he did anyway? Sure, maybe I need to get over myself and stop over reacting, but at the same time maybe he should come apologize to me? Technically, he hasn't been trying to talk to me either.
Ug. This is all just a mess, why is everything I'm involved in always a mess?
At least I can trust that going on stage and performing will be here for me. My fans never fail. And that is why, currently, I stand side stage, bouncing on my toes with anxiousness. We are the first to go on so the crowd is also getting pretty impatient. What is taking so long?
"Haze," Sammy's voice gets my attention from behind me. I turn around, guitar strapped on my shoulder and hanging against my back. "Someone is here to see you," he states, sounding not so pleased.
My eyebrows furrow in confusion and I'm about to ask who could possibly be visiting me, but then I look over his shoulder and see who it is. Dom is standing side stage with a bouquet of roses in his hand.
"Oh," I say, not sure how I feel about this. At first, I was surprised because, well, Dom hasn't been talking to me since our fight, but then when I catch Austin's eyes as he stands next to Dom and gives me a look, I feel torn on the inside. I decide to just focus on the small amount of happiness it brings me to see my boyfriend here as I walk over, taking my guitar off my shoulder and setting it down.
"Hi," I say sheepishly when I get to Dom.
"Hi," he responds, holding the flowers out to me. "Think of these as an apology," he says as I take them from him. "And also a gift because I couldn't leave my girl alone on Valentines Day, could I?" He smiles while I lean down to smell the pretty flowers.
I nearly forgot what we were even fighting about these past few days because of all that has been on my mind with Austin. This only made it a lot easier to forgive Dom, not really relishing in the anger her made me feel a couple days ago.
"Apology accepted?" Dom asked down to me, raising an eye brow cockily.
I glanced up at him and then barely over to Austin who was still watching us with harsh eyes, almost as tempting me not to forgive him. I ignored it and simply nodded as I looked back to Dom who started to lean down, going for a kiss, but then I went towards him and wrapped him in a hug instead. He was shocked, but still went along with it.
"Are you going to watch the show?" I asked with a hopeful voice as I pulled away.
"Na, I thought I'd just go back and wait for you at your hotel," he said, getting the small smile on my face to falter. "Concerts aren't my scene."
"Oh," I frown, a little taken aback. As I do this, I feel Austin's glare bore into me, giving off a very dissatisfied look. I guess Dom isn't a real charmer...
Even though I'm completely aware Austin's stare, I don't dare meet it. Whenever he looks at me with that much intensity and I look back, things get... intense.
The thing about the awkwardness is that it also is rooted from the tension that has awoken in us both. That moment we shared the other day, right before we kissed... something happened. And now, for the first time since summer, I feel so sexually frustrated it hurts. The past months without Austin, or more specifically sex with Austin, have been catching up to me at a dangerously fast speed.
"Are you sure? We only go on for like a half hour," I try to convince Dom, but he has no avail.
"It's alright, that just means I'll get to see you back there sooner," he smiles, but I don't return it.
"Oh, I mean, I kind of wanted to stay for the rest of the bands too-"
"But you get to see them like every night," Dom cuts me off with a rude chuckle. I also hear Austin clear his throat, almost angrily, before pushing past Dom to walk away from us. I catch the angry glare he gave Dom and it's obvious why.
"Haze, two minutes!" Sammy calls from side stage as the lights dim, making me feel more anxious as I turn back to Dom.
"I'll see you in a half hour then?" He asks with an oblivious smirk on his face. It's all about him, I guess. Before I can even think of what to respond with, he leans down to kiss my cheek, giving my butt a light pinch before turning and walking away.
I stand there dumbfounded and a little agitated, but then hear the one minute warning and have to snap myself out of it. I quickly go to grab my guitar, setting the flowers down in it's place as I started to head towards stage. While doing this, I was so busy focusing on putting the guitar strap over my shoulder that I didn't see Austin and stumbled right into his chest.
"Fuck, sorry," I mumble as a reflex, now finally looking up to meet his eyes, gulping as I did.
He didn't say it was okay, in fact, he acted as if it didn't happen so he could move on to a different subject. Already starting to walk away from me, he spat out one last thing. "I was right. Your boyfriend is a dick.."
***
My set went quicker than I would have liked and the next thing I know I'm heading back to the hotel, alone and a little agitated.
After meeting Dom in the lobby, he slithered his arm around my waist and we headed up to my room. I almost half expected him to do something special for me since it is in fact Valentines Day, but of course he didn't. And of course we spent the rest of the night sitting on the couch watching some stupid TV show on the crappy hotel TV.
I sighed heavily, feeling very bored after what felt like hours of sitting here. Dom's arm was still wrapped around my waist, but it's like he was more interested in the show than me. What a great Valentines Day, right? A total winner.
The door to the room started to make noise, getting me to sit up and watch as Austin pushed it open and stepped in. Have we really been here that long?
I wasn't too happy that I had to miss the rest of the show to meet Dom back here, but he was right in the sense that it's no big deal to miss one show, plus, at the time I had thought he had something planned for us.. Ha.
Austin stopped dead in his tracks when he saw us, looking between Dom and I with a slightly dropped jaw. He must have forgotten we were going to be here... Great, here comes the awkwardness.
"Uhm," Austin shut the door behind him, setting his stuff on the near by table.
"Who are you?" Dom asked, standing up from the couch.
"Uh, Austin... You are?" Austin knew who he was, but acted as he didn't as Dom came over and held his hand out to shake. I now got up, too, noticing Dom's expression falter when he recognized the name, remembering when I told him Austin was my ex.
"I'm Hazel's boyfriend," Dom didn't even give him a name as he roughly shook his hand. Austin nodded, eyeing him up and down. I was just standing there, on edge as I watched my ex and my boyfriend eye each other down.
"Uh," I start, not knowing what to do besides what I do best.. Avoid. "I'm gona go change out of this real quick," I signaled to my outfit I've been wearing all day before hurrying off into the bathroom where my pj's were already located in.
Once inside, I shut the door and leaned against it, huffing a big breath. What the hell am I supposed to do? Sit in a room with Austin and Dom all night? How am I supposed to do that?!
I groaned, pushing away from the door to change into my more comfortable clothes. I was so worried about what may happen that I didn't even think much about slipping on Austin's tank-top before pulling a sweatshirt over it. When sliding on a pair of shorts, the door opened, scaring me half to death.
I jumped, spinning around, but calming a bit when I see Dom step in. "Dom, wha-" I was cut off by Dom quickly crossing the distance between us and crushing his lips down onto mine. I was shocked, but unable to pull away because of the force he was holding me against him with.
He was kissing me so intensely and with such speed that it was hard to keep up, especially when his tongue found it's way inside of my mouth. What has gotten into him? "D-Dom," I breathed out in between kisses, trying to catch my breath a bit. "What's gotten into you?" I ask quickly.
He doesn't answer right away, just spins us around and pushes me roughly up against the bathroom door. For some odd, odd reason, this just barely turns me on. Actually, it might not even be that odd.. Sexually frustrated, remember? I hadn't wanted to have sex with Dom throughout our relationship, but it's like I was taking out all the tension between Austin and I onto him.
"You're rooming with your ex..." Dom husked. "And you're mine," his hands slid up under my layers, searching for my breasts as his tongue stroked mine. I moaned when his hands found there destination because my nipples were already hard and sensitive to his touch.
The thing is though, as his hands stroked my skin, I couldn't help but close my eyes and imagine that they weren't his... but Austin's. That each breath and touch he was giving out weren't his because truthfully, I didn't want them to be. I couldn't help it at all.
Dom pushed his lower half into me, letting me feel him, but also causing the door to harshly creek against it's hinges. I was trying to catch my breath from the heated kiss so I was glad when Dom broke away to lift my sweatshirt above my head.
Is this happening? Is this really happening?
"What kind of shirt is this?" Dom asks in a scoff, seeing the Slipknot tank-top. "Where the hell do you even buy this?" He laughed rudely, getting the corners of my mouth to point downwards. "Eh, it's not like it'll be on you for much longer," he huffs, pushing me back up against the door to kiss me again.
This time I'm not that into it, barely even kissing back while I think about how I'm making out with him while in Austin's shirt and subconsciously wishing he was the man I "hate". It all feels so.. weird..
But then a fist is banging on the door, getting us both to jump apart and away from it. "Hazel?" Austin yells through the wood, sounding almost angry. "Your sister is on the phone, thought you might want to talk to her," he grumbles and I sigh, quickly starting to scramble to grab my sweatshirt and tug it back on before swinging open the door.
He steps back in surprise that I opened it so fast, but then clears his throat. "I'll go wait for you in the other room," Dom whispers into my ear before starting to move past me, giving Austin a glare before walking down the hall.
"I don't like him," Austin grumbles as soon as Dom is out of sight. I scoff, shaking my head a little. "I'm serious," Austin looks down to me.
I try to ignore it and change the subject. "Where's the phone?" I ask, wondering if he answered my cell.
Austin stays quiet and I raise my eyebrows at him, but then start to put together the pieces. "Did Syd even call?" My voice raises a bit. "Seriously, Austin, what the hell? I thought it was something important! You can't just do that!"
"Sorry that I was tired of hearing you and your boyfriend fuck through that door!" He snaps back quickly and I was about to retort something back, but then realized he was right. And also, I was kind of glad he did interrupt us so I didn't do something that I'd regret. "You're welcome," Austin sighs after my small moment of silence, getting me to look up at him, a little shocked.
When I met his eyes, he wasn't looking down at me with a harsh glare anymore, but more of an understanding one. He knew that I was uncomfortable having sex with Dom? He knew that I'd regret it?
I open my mouth as to say something, but then shut it closed and rub at the back of my neck. "Just let us be for the night, okay?" I ask quietly, feeling a little bad for being rude after he pulled that.
Luckily, he didn't say anything back, just looked at me before shaking his head and walking the opposite way to go to one of the bedrooms. That's the thing about this hotel; it has a living room completely separate from the bedrooms that were also separated.
I sigh and straighten out my clothes before turning and heading back over to the couch were Dom was at. I go over and return to my seat next to him, looking straight at the TV instead of him.
"I don't like that guy," Dom states. I almost want to laugh because that's basically what Austin just said, but I don't. "I think you should stop rooming with him."
"What?" I ask in a breathy voice, now turning my head to look at him. Is he trying to tell me what to do?
"You need to get another roommate, I don't like you living with him," he states, starting to tick me off a bit. I don't even think to tell him that we switch every week.
"Excuse me?" I ask, bewildered.
"You heard me. I don't trust this guy, he could easily just come over and you two could fuck-"
"It takes two to fuck, Dom. Do you not trust me?" I scoff.
"Do I have a reason not to trust you?" He asks, his voice accusing me of something that I obviously didn't do. It pisses me off.
"No," I snark, and before he can say something back, I hold my hand up and cut him off. "Wait a minute. Even if you did have a reason, it's not like you have some kind of hold on me. We're just dating. It's nothing serious yet, and you honestly have no right to tell me what to do!" I now don't know what has gotten into me, what am I getting so worked up over? I guess I just am not a fan of getting told what to do and after Austin, out of all people, was just understanding with me, it pissed me off that my own boyfriend couldn't be.
"What are you talking about? We've been dating for like two months now, has that meant nothing to you? I've respected you all this time. We haven't done anything, and that was your choice. If I had my way, it would've happened a long time ago!"
I put my hand to my temple, "How has this conversation suddenly turned to the topic of sex? Is that all this has meant to you? You just wanted a good lay? Is that what you call 'respect'?"
"No, that's not all I wanted... But it's what I would've liked by now, yeah."
I stand up, suddenly, walking a few steps towards the door and pointing straight at it. I can't take this anymore. I already have to deal with all the shit with Austin, my family, Alan, the tour, and myself, for God's sake! I don't need him if he thinks he can just sit here and tell me what to do, especially if it's all just for sex!
"Get out, now."
"What?" He scoffs, his expression angrily amused as he stands up and comes over to me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I'm not going to sit here and be told what to do. And I will not have you telling me all you basically want from me right now is sex, and just being an asshole in general!" I grab the doorknob and open it, showing him the way to exit.
He grabs my wrist, forcing my hand off the handle, letting the door close.
I look up at him and shake my head, "You need to leave, Dominic," I say as forcefully as I could. Truth be told, I was getting a little nervous at the gleam in his eyes, and the tight hold he still had on my wrist. "And let me go. Now." I demand, losing the force in my voice.
He let out an amused laugh and grabbed my other wrist, forcing my back against the door I was trying to get him out of. "Please Dom, just go," I start pleading. I was getting scared. I couldn't imagine he was capable of doing anything too bad, but how well did I really know him? I had gotten a gleam of what he get's like when he's pissed... but that was over the phone..
Before I knew what was happening, his lips were at my neck, kissing and biting roughly. "Dom. Stop right fucking now." I demanded, unsure at what was even happening here.
He raises his head and looks in my eyes. "I started talking to you because I thought you were smoking hot, and then after sitting through countless hours talking with you when we dated, there was one thing that I really wanted. And I hardly got a good make out session with you! So before you throw me out, I am getting what I want, Hazel."
I just stare at him. He can't possibly be serious? This could not be happening to me. Not now. Not ever. Not Dom. He wasn't like this. I didn't think he was like this. "Fuck you," I spat at him, feeling hurt and worthless because he basically used me for sex.
He starts to smirk and my hands are starting to go numb from his tight grip while my eyes are brimming with tears and my mind is just running in circles. I can't think of a way to get out of this situation. And I still don't believe it will happen. Dom isn't this bad of a guy, he won't go through with this.
Suddenly he was at my neck again, had my hands pinned with one of his, and his other hand was tugging my sweatshirt up for the second time tonight. But this time, it was different. "Stop," I growled, attempting to knee him in the crotch. He dodged it and ended up putting his knee on my stomach so he could hold me down while he yanked my sweatshirt over my head, leaving me in the Slipknot tank-top.
I bring my hands up to his shoulders to push him off me, but he stays strong. "Dominic," I struggle to get his name out of my mouth, "You need to stop this, so just... stop. Now."
I hear a chuckle, and he again brings his head up and looks me directly in the eyes, "Hazel, I'm going to get what I want. After months of you teasing me with this body all the time..." He trails off, looking down at me and then making a sudden movement to start working down my shorts.
This is when real panic sets in, being reminded of all the times with Mark when he tried to take advantage of me. I start to struggle, trying to kick and shove Dom off of me, but he doesn't budge. He just starts getting closer and closer to what he wants. "Stop! Fuck you!" I yell, trying to throw punches at him, but then he just grabs my wrists and pins them down. Luckily, after all my working out I've done these past few months, I've gained more strength so I could easily rip them out of his grip and elbow him in the face while I did it.
He growled and stumbled back, allowing me to squirm out from his grasp and the door. But I didn't get far before he lunged for me. And as we fell to the ground, I could only think of one more thing to do. The only thing I've ever needed to do.
"AUSTIN!" I scream before hitting the ground, Dom falling on top of me.
"Shut up," he growls, trying to get the tank-top off of me. I only struggle more now, not allowing him to do this as I call Austin's name more.
"Hazel?" Austin's feet patter down the hallway and his voice is the most heavenly thing I've ever heard, but then I hear his steps squeak to a stop. "Hazel! What the fuck?!" He yells and runs towards us.
I'm still struggling against Dom, his weight crushing my chest, but then I let out a large breath of relief when he is yanked off of me. "You fucking piece of shit!" Austin yells harshly at Dom, throwing him back down onto the ground. "You don't fucking touch her like that!" My breathing was frantic as I sat up, only to see Austin on top of Dom, repeatedly throwing punch after punch onto his face as he swore at him.
Dom was groaning in pain, but Austin wasn't stopping. He wasn't going to stop.. It's like he's letting all his built up anger and rage out on Dom. The rage that I caused him. Hell, I caused all of this! I should have stopped dragging Dom around like I was these past few months because I was just asking for this! This is my fault and now Austin is going to kill him because I also caused the rage inside of him.
I got up and scrambled over to them, bending down next to Austin. "Austin, stop," I say, tears welling in my eyes. He didn't even give me any recognition. "Austin, stop!" I pull at his arm. "STOP IT!" I cry as I pull at Austin once more and finally, his body relaxes just enough for me to pull him away from Dom who is lying on the ground, curling into fetal position.
I slide onto my knees next to Dom's head and roll him onto his back, seeing that he needs to go to a hospital. I start pulling at his arm now, trying to get him to stand up. "Why are you helping him?!" Austin comes over, asking with his face beat red. I ignore him and help Dom stand, leading him over to the door. He's coughing and choking on his own blood, limping violently with me. I've got to get him to the hospital now, he's fucking beaten to a pulp.
I start to open the door, but then Austin storms over and steps in front of me. "Don't help this prick!" He points to Dom. "What the hell are you doing, Hazel?!"
"I have to, now move," I try to get past him, but he doesn't budge.
"No! Let him fucking rot in the hallway, that's what he deserves!" Austin yells, his fists clenched.
"Austin, move. Now," I demand, trying to help Mark past him, but he just backs up into the hallway and stands in front of us again, blocking the way.
"He doesn't deserve your help!" Austin snaps, trying not to lunge at Dom again. Before I can argue back, a door down the hall opens and Alan steps out, having heard all the yelling. I curse under my breath, knowing he'll take Austin's side.
"What's going on?" Alan asks worriedly as he jogs over, his eyes widening when he saw Dom all bloody and my appearance all messed up. It probably was quite the sight to see. "What the hell happened?" He breathed out, his voice rising at the same time.
"I walked in on this prick trying to fucking rape, Hazel! And now she's trying to fucking help the douchebag!" Austin shoved Dom's shoulder, the action alone enough to get Dom to start collapsing, my arm not being enough to keep him steady.
"Austin, stop," I plead as I bend over, Dom pulling my weight down with him.
"No, you stop!" He comes over and now grabs onto my upper arm to pull me up and away from Dom without using too much force. It was like even though Dom is on the ground and barely conscious, Austin still wont have me near him, pulling me close to his chest instead.
"Fuck," Alan tugs at his hair, realizing what's happening. "Hazel, are you okay?" He looks over to me, his eyes worried.
"I'm fine," I say, not really worried about myself right now.
"Can you just get this prick out of here?" Austin asks, his chest pressing up against my back when he speaks.
"Yeah," Alan doesn't hesitate to agree, bending down to roughly yank Dom up, not giving a single shit that he could be hurting him. "Come on you assholing piece of shit," he huffs, starting to shove Dom in the direction of the elevator. "I knew I didn't like you."
I watched as they went down the hallway, knowing there was nothing else I could do. But when Alan shoved Dom into the elevator and they disappeared, it left Austin and I alone and close in this hallway. I could feel each breath that left his chest because it was so closely pressed up against me, his hand still around my arm, holding me close to him, almost protectively.
I gulped, this being the most contact we've made this whole time. I was starting to get to the point where I couldn't take his touch anymore because him being this close was burning me inside. But also, it was fueling the anger inside of me. I'm not sure what exactly I'm angry at, probably just this whole night, but I needed to get away from this.
"Get off of me," I grumble harshly to Austin, yanking myself away from him and storming back in the hotel room. He immediately followed after, slamming the door closed behind him.
"What the hell was that?!" He asked angrily, pointing behind him. "Why the fuck where you helping that asshole?!"
"It's none of your business!" I turn around to yell back, using my hands for emphasis.
"Like hell it's not! He didn't deserve your help!" He came over to me, standing on the opposite side of the table in the tiny kitchen area.
"You don't know anything!" I yell back, my palms resting on the table, gripping tightly to the edge.
"Right," he snorts, his palms moving to rest flat on the table, too, leaning towards me. "So I didn't just see your great fucking example of a boyfriend throw you on the ground and try to rape you! And you didn't call for me?! Right! I know that none of that just happened!"
We were both leaning against the table, getting in each others faces. "That's not what I meant!" I yell back, pushing myself away from the table and walking away.
Austin follows me. "Then what did you mean, Hazel?!" He just gets louder and louder. "What don't I know, huh? Because I think I've got everything pretty clear!" He's back in my face again and I don't back down. I'm angry and I'm being pulled into this fight. Because this one isn't like the other ones, this is different. "I know that your boyfriend is an asshole! I know he tried to rape you! I know that you tried to help him! I know he doesn't deserve your help and I know that you don't fucking deserve him!"
"What the fuck do you know about what I deserve?!" I scream back, yelling equally as harshly as he is. And I can only imagine my face is as red as his is.
"What?!" Austin asks incredulously. "You think you deserved that?!"
I shake my head and back away from him, walking further into the living room area. He follows again, but suddenly, I stop to turn to face him again. "You don't know anything about me or what I deserve! Not anymore!" I start, pointing a finger at him. "But do you want to know something I don't deserve?! Huh? Do you really want to know?!"
"What?! Please tell me what this God forsaken thing is if you think you deserve that prick!" He says almost mockingly as he jabs a finger back at the door where everything just went down.
I take a large step towards him, holding my chest out as if I was some buff, intimidating guy that was trying to one up Austin. "You, Austin Carlile," I say harshly, with venom as I squint at him. "You are the one terrible thing that I have never deserved!" I yell and he stays quiet, shocked, giving me more time to explode on him. "I did not deserve you!" I place my hands on his chest and shove him backwards a bit. "But most of all, I didn't deserve what you did to me! You lying, evil, cheating BASTARD!" I scream, shoving him with each word. I was now worked up and completely upset after all that has gone down tonight. I have no more censor or control. Not anymore.
"What did you just say?" Austin growls, regaining his composure after I shoved him.
"I said you're a lying, evil, cheating bastard! Did I stutter?!" I hold my arms up as I scream, waiting for his answer as my chest huffs up and down.
"You think I fucking cheated on you?!" He yells back, his voice booming down on me. It was almost intimidating... almost.
"I know you did!" I try to sound intimidating back.
"How the fuck do you know that?! Huh?!" He takes a stomp back over to me.
"Because when you leave your girlfriend to go hook up with some blonde whore, that's considered cheating! So therefore you are considered a cheating bastard!" I explain venomously.
"You're just trying to make me out to be the bad guy! You think that fucking low of me?! You think i'd actually fucking cheat on you?!" He loudly snaps back, shocked and angry as he points a finger into his own chest. Did he really not cheat on me?
"You are the fucking bad guy! And what am I supposed to think of you when you fucking leave me to get our fucking baby aborted! All to go get drunk and fuck some stupid WHORE!" I scream, my fingers twitching for something to grab onto and throw at him. I was so on edge and I can't hold this back anymore so I'm letting it the fuck out.
Normally, talking about our baby would make us upset, but right now we are both way past that, blinded by our anger.
"You can keep telling yourself that I cheated as much as you fucking want if it makes it easier for you to see me as some evil asshole! I don't give a shit!" He gets even closer into my face.
"Goddammit, I don't have to tell myself that you're an asshole! Because I already know you are one! Everyone knows!" I get right back into his face.
"What the fuck do you know?!" Austin yells down on me. "You're just telling me shit I already am aware of! I know I'm an asshole! Just like I already know you're a bitch!" He throws his arms up above his head, spinning a bit so his back is to me.
Bitch... I hate the fucking word, especially when it comes from Austin. And he knows that it sets me off.
My fingers twitch and I take this moment to let the inner anger inside of me really show, reaching for the first thing I can grab, which turns out to be a half empty water bottle on the table. In a swift movement, I chuck it at Austin's back, getting him to spin back to me as I watch it thump off his back and onto the ground.
"A bitch?! I've done nothing for you to call me that!" I scream at him, veins popping out from my neck as his face only continues to get more red.
"Nothing?!" Austin yells as he turns back around to get close to me again.
"No!" I scream back. "I've just been fucking defending myself! And if that gets me the title of that name then so be it! But it doesn't! You had no right!" I place my hands on his chest again, pushing at him while I stand tall.
"No right?!" Austin growls back.
"No right!" I repeat. "You've had no right to say any of the things you've said to me! Or do the things you've done to me!" I yell harshly and Austin now stays quiet, not having much of an argument. He knows what he did. "You had no right to leave me at the hospital! You had no right to go get drunk and get with another girl! You had no right to abandon me and our baby! And you had no right to call me a murderer!" My breaths are comping hard and fast, chest heaving. "Do you remember that?!" I get in his face, asking as he stays quiet, remembering. "Do you remember when you called me that?!" I had a sense that I was making him guilty... Good. "Do you remember when you made me out to be some fucking monster! Well, you know what? You're the monster! You're the monster, Austin Carlile!"
I can barely finish getting his name out of my mouth before, suddenly, Austin makes a swift, harsh movement to shove me up against the nearest wall. One of his hands is firmly on my shoulder, the other one flat on the wall above me while his head is bowed down, nearly inches away from my face. At first a spark of fear ignites inside of me, but then when his dark brown eyes bore into mine, I see something that I should be afraid of, but truthfully am squirming at.
"I'm a monster?" Austin's voice is thick and dark and dripping with something that makes my stomach clench. It's a deep growl that normally would intimidate and scare someone, but right now it was makes my heart beat rapidly in my chest, noticing how close he was. His bottom half was pressed against mine, creating friction as his breaths were hot and rolling onto my skin. I swear I could hear his own heart beats, but I could be mistaking them for mine because I can feel my heart pump all the way up in my throat.
The air grew hot and intense around us, dripping with tension that could be cut with a knife. Both of our chests were huffing so hard from our breaths that they brushed against each other. I tried to answer his question, but found that I couldn't, my breath being caught in my throat along with my heart. This left my mouth parted open, my eyes staring up into Austin's, both dark and needy.
The heavy moment dragged on, my mind spinning the whole time. I couldn't get it to stop or even attempt to rap it around the thoughts that were ramming at my skull. Something was happening here and my whole body was being drawn towards it. I was being drawn to Austin and even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop it this time..
But then, finally, Austin answered his own question.
"I know," he breathed, looking down at me with eyes that held a deep look right before he cut off my breath by roughly crashing his lips down onto mine.
My whole body instantly lit up like I was set afire, gasping into Austin's mouth with surprise. His hands tangled into my hair, pressing me even harder against the wall as his soft lips that I had craved for so long attacked mine. Something in side of me clicked and suddenly my hands were reaching up to find his short hair while I aggressively kissed him back.
The heat in the room seemed to increase as our mouthes and hands viscously and angrily battled. His hands were too anxious to stay tangled in my hair for long, traveling all over my body that he hasn't been able to touch in so long. One ended up on my hip, his nails digging into it as his tongue was aggressively working with mine, the kiss being so hot I felt myself start to ache more and more.
I groaned into his mouth as I couldn't help but roll my hips against him; my body ached for this kind of treatment for so long that it was hard to control what it was doing. With a sudden forcefulness, Austin grabbed my hips that had lifted away from the wall, digging his fingers into my skin again as he slams them back against it. I gasped from the roughness, but also because he pressed his hips into me now, letting me feel his hardness.
I was losing control, not even being able to register a single thought besides: I need this. I need him.
And I could tell he was thinking the same thing when he reciprocated the same intensity into the kiss as I was. Things were getting so hot and powerful that we were sliding down the wall, still aggressively kissing as we knocked down one of the pictures framed on the wall. Neither of us paid it any attention of mind, too enveloped into our hot make-out session as we stumbled back into the nearest bedroom.
We didn't break the kiss once, but then when my feet hit the carpet of the room, Austin wrapped his arms around me to lift me up and then throw me forcefully onto the bed. His movements weren't kind or gentle, but rough and hot as it mirrored what we both were feeling on the inside. I gasped, immediately propping myself up on my elbows to look at Austin stalk over to me. His body language was intimidating and his eyes were painfully dark with lust, making my stomach clench. Fuck, I was so fucking turned on while still so angry. Not a good combination
Austin flopped down on top of me and pressed his lips angrily against mine, forcing my head to lay back against the bed. My hands were gripping onto his biceps that had grown since the last time I had touched them as he slid his hands beneath the hem of my shirt.
He sat up as he ran his large hands across my heaving abdomen, his long fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake. "You're wearing my shirt," he growled lowly, looking into my eyes instead of at the Slipknot tank-top.
I gulped, realizing I had been this whole time. I was a little unsure of he was going to react, but then it didn't matter anymore when he ripped the shirt above my head, whipping it away from us. He groaned, ducking forward and snaking his hands beneath my back to skillfully unhook the clasp of my bra before ripping that from my body, too.
I was breathing heavily as Austin, with swift movements, scooped me up and moved me toward the pillows, where he tossed me back down and stood on his knees before me as he ripped his own shirt off. His toned arms and chest were hard to keep my eyes off of.
Like a bird that was hunting it's prey, Austin swooped downward so that he hovered just above my chest, holding himself up on his elbow as he ran his other hand from just above the waistline of my pants up my abdomen, grabbing my jaw tightly and tilting my head backward once he reached it.
I gasped against his hand, the roughness making me drip with wetness, especially as he latched his lips around one of my erect nipples, biting and sucking at it until it was raw; then he moving on to the other one. I couldn’t help but pant squirm beneath him, but with each little movement, Austin would only bite down harder, making me moan out.
Austin slipped some of his fingers from the hand that was tightly grasped around my jaw into my mouth, allowing me to suck on them as he slowly made his way down my body, biting and sucking a line down to the waistband of my pants. Once he hit fabric, Austin abruptly sat up and pulled his hand away from my mouth to curl his fingers under my pants and swiftly remove them, taking my panties along with them.
There was no time to waist and no foreplay that either of us could allow, getting Austin to quickly start working on his belt. My hands immediately reached up to help him, so turned on that I couldn't go another second without him inside of me. The tension was at it's highest point, nearly choking me.
Soon Austin's pants were undone and he quickly stood up to get rid of them and his underwear in two swift movements. My core throbbed at the sight of his hard member springing free, but when Austin scrambled to get back on top of me, I knew it wasn't much longer.
There were no words or thoughts that we couldn't afford, just actions. There was no time to think about what might happen after this. We both just... need it.
The next thing I know, Austin is in between my legs, dipping his fingers into my core for a moment before replacing them with his member and slamming into me so hard it was nearly impossible to not let out a scream. Which I wasn't sure if I did because it all happened so fast and my mind was blurred.
My whole body lit on fire as the only time to adjust I was given was when Austin's large hands grasped onto my hips and pulled my up for a better angle before continuing to slam into me. I barely had time to catch my breath, it getting stuck in my throat as he immediately picked up speed. I felt his whole body rumble as he let out a deep growl that held so much power it made me quiver and the tightness in my stomach grow.
Each thrust held so much that we both needed to get out, from all the anger to all the fights, making the roughness only grow. It wasn't sweet or gentle because for the past weeks, we haven't been either of those to each other. It was fast, needy, and rough. Just what I needed.
One of my fists balled around the sheets of the bed while my other hand desperately was grabbing at Austin's hair, moaning at the sensation of his skin slapping against mine while my body met his thrusts, working just as hard with him.
I couldn't get any words out, just uncontrollable moans as my body was filled to the rim by Austin and with pleasure. His length was moving fast in and out of me as his hands squeezed his purchases so tightly that I'm sure he was going to leave bruises. But I don't care, everything was feeling so good and with each thrust or groan of his, surges of heat ripped through my body.
I gasped loudly, wrapping my arms tightly around Austin’s shoulders and digging my nails into his flesh as he beat into me. He growled animalistically and leaned down to sink his teeth on a spot where my shoulder and neck meet, bitting down hard as he grabbed one of my legs to hold out wider as he thrusted forcefully into me. A low rumble vibrated through his entire body has he kept his pace steady and rapid. I raked my nails down his back, moaning even louder as I reached the edge, my vision becoming cloudy and my breathing a mess.
Austin's breathing began to resemble that of a rabid animal as he inched closer to his climax, too, his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy. With each thrust of his hips, he pulled me against him, making me finally let out a scream of pleasure that turned into sort of sobbing moans as he continued to violently thrash into me before throwing his head backward, jaw taunt and eyes closed and letting out a low, primal growl.
I felt him fill me completely before releasing me back onto the bed after thrusting a few more times, riding out his climax. I hit the bed limply, laying there for a moment with an arm draped across my stomach as I huffed violently. My whole body was still tingling and shaking slightly as Austin collapsed next to me on the bed in the same position. Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead as the two of us lay here for what seems like forever, watching the dust particles that floated through the damp air.
The silence was deafening as we laid here, it now just settling in what we did. Neither of us had words to say or knew what the hell to even think. So we stayed still, our minds running a mile a minute. I couldn't pinpoint what I felt, nor do I have any idea of what Austin feels, but what we just did... It will change everything.
Hazel's pov:
The past two days have been another one of those long lasting, completely awkward situations. And when I say awkward, I mean really, really awkward.
After getting high together and almost kissing, Austin and I were caught in what seemed to be a never ending uncomfortable tension. I mean, what are we supposed to do? Go back to fighting? Pretend like it never happened? Suddenly become 'besties'. Yeah.. No.
I guess it at least is a good thing we aren't fighting like dogs anymore, that was exhausting, but at the same time I've gotten to the point where I wonder if that would be better... Sure, the fights were ruthless, but the awkwardness haunts me every moment of everyday without escape.
I've been trying my best to ignore Austin, as he has been me, but it's nearly impossible when we are staying together and have no real way to escape each other. It seems at least a thousand times a day we end up making awkward eye contact.
On top of all my Austin problems, I've been having a shitty past two days. Austin has not been the only one ignoring me now that Dom also thinks it's a fun thing to do. And I still haven't talked to Alan. Not once.
I still feel hurt and betrayed by him after I trusted him so much. I mean, I told him how I was feeling and then he just acted like he didn't care and did what he did anyway? Sure, maybe I need to get over myself and stop over reacting, but at the same time maybe he should come apologize to me? Technically, he hasn't been trying to talk to me either.
Ug. This is all just a mess, why is everything I'm involved in always a mess?
At least I can trust that going on stage and performing will be here for me. My fans never fail. And that is why, currently, I stand side stage, bouncing on my toes with anxiousness. We are the first to go on so the crowd is also getting pretty impatient. What is taking so long?
"Haze," Sammy's voice gets my attention from behind me. I turn around, guitar strapped on my shoulder and hanging against my back. "Someone is here to see you," he states, sounding not so pleased.
My eyebrows furrow in confusion and I'm about to ask who could possibly be visiting me, but then I look over his shoulder and see who it is. Dom is standing side stage with a bouquet of roses in his hand.
"Oh," I say, not sure how I feel about this. At first, I was surprised because, well, Dom hasn't been talking to me since our fight, but then when I catch Austin's eyes as he stands next to Dom and gives me a look, I feel torn on the inside. I decide to just focus on the small amount of happiness it brings me to see my boyfriend here as I walk over, taking my guitar off my shoulder and setting it down.
"Hi," I say sheepishly when I get to Dom.
"Hi," he responds, holding the flowers out to me. "Think of these as an apology," he says as I take them from him. "And also a gift because I couldn't leave my girl alone on Valentines Day, could I?" He smiles while I lean down to smell the pretty flowers.
I nearly forgot what we were even fighting about these past few days because of all that has been on my mind with Austin. This only made it a lot easier to forgive Dom, not really relishing in the anger her made me feel a couple days ago.
"Apology accepted?" Dom asked down to me, raising an eye brow cockily.
I glanced up at him and then barely over to Austin who was still watching us with harsh eyes, almost as tempting me not to forgive him. I ignored it and simply nodded as I looked back to Dom who started to lean down, going for a kiss, but then I went towards him and wrapped him in a hug instead. He was shocked, but still went along with it.
"Are you going to watch the show?" I asked with a hopeful voice as I pulled away.
"Na, I thought I'd just go back and wait for you at your hotel," he said, getting the small smile on my face to falter. "Concerts aren't my scene."
"Oh," I frown, a little taken aback. As I do this, I feel Austin's glare bore into me, giving off a very dissatisfied look. I guess Dom isn't a real charmer...
Even though I'm completely aware Austin's stare, I don't dare meet it. Whenever he looks at me with that much intensity and I look back, things get... intense.
The thing about the awkwardness is that it also is rooted from the tension that has awoken in us both. That moment we shared the other day, right before we kissed... something happened. And now, for the first time since summer, I feel so sexually frustrated it hurts. The past months without Austin, or more specifically sex with Austin, have been catching up to me at a dangerously fast speed.
"Are you sure? We only go on for like a half hour," I try to convince Dom, but he has no avail.
"It's alright, that just means I'll get to see you back there sooner," he smiles, but I don't return it.
"Oh, I mean, I kind of wanted to stay for the rest of the bands too-"
"But you get to see them like every night," Dom cuts me off with a rude chuckle. I also hear Austin clear his throat, almost angrily, before pushing past Dom to walk away from us. I catch the angry glare he gave Dom and it's obvious why.
"Haze, two minutes!" Sammy calls from side stage as the lights dim, making me feel more anxious as I turn back to Dom.
"I'll see you in a half hour then?" He asks with an oblivious smirk on his face. It's all about him, I guess. Before I can even think of what to respond with, he leans down to kiss my cheek, giving my butt a light pinch before turning and walking away.
I stand there dumbfounded and a little agitated, but then hear the one minute warning and have to snap myself out of it. I quickly go to grab my guitar, setting the flowers down in it's place as I started to head towards stage. While doing this, I was so busy focusing on putting the guitar strap over my shoulder that I didn't see Austin and stumbled right into his chest.
"Fuck, sorry," I mumble as a reflex, now finally looking up to meet his eyes, gulping as I did.
He didn't say it was okay, in fact, he acted as if it didn't happen so he could move on to a different subject. Already starting to walk away from me, he spat out one last thing. "I was right. Your boyfriend is a dick.."
***
My set went quicker than I would have liked and the next thing I know I'm heading back to the hotel, alone and a little agitated.
After meeting Dom in the lobby, he slithered his arm around my waist and we headed up to my room. I almost half expected him to do something special for me since it is in fact Valentines Day, but of course he didn't. And of course we spent the rest of the night sitting on the couch watching some stupid TV show on the crappy hotel TV.
I sighed heavily, feeling very bored after what felt like hours of sitting here. Dom's arm was still wrapped around my waist, but it's like he was more interested in the show than me. What a great Valentines Day, right? A total winner.
The door to the room started to make noise, getting me to sit up and watch as Austin pushed it open and stepped in. Have we really been here that long?
I wasn't too happy that I had to miss the rest of the show to meet Dom back here, but he was right in the sense that it's no big deal to miss one show, plus, at the time I had thought he had something planned for us.. Ha.
Austin stopped dead in his tracks when he saw us, looking between Dom and I with a slightly dropped jaw. He must have forgotten we were going to be here... Great, here comes the awkwardness.
"Uhm," Austin shut the door behind him, setting his stuff on the near by table.
"Who are you?" Dom asked, standing up from the couch.
"Uh, Austin... You are?" Austin knew who he was, but acted as he didn't as Dom came over and held his hand out to shake. I now got up, too, noticing Dom's expression falter when he recognized the name, remembering when I told him Austin was my ex.
"I'm Hazel's boyfriend," Dom didn't even give him a name as he roughly shook his hand. Austin nodded, eyeing him up and down. I was just standing there, on edge as I watched my ex and my boyfriend eye each other down.
"Uh," I start, not knowing what to do besides what I do best.. Avoid. "I'm gona go change out of this real quick," I signaled to my outfit I've been wearing all day before hurrying off into the bathroom where my pj's were already located in.
Once inside, I shut the door and leaned against it, huffing a big breath. What the hell am I supposed to do? Sit in a room with Austin and Dom all night? How am I supposed to do that?!
I groaned, pushing away from the door to change into my more comfortable clothes. I was so worried about what may happen that I didn't even think much about slipping on Austin's tank-top before pulling a sweatshirt over it. When sliding on a pair of shorts, the door opened, scaring me half to death.
I jumped, spinning around, but calming a bit when I see Dom step in. "Dom, wha-" I was cut off by Dom quickly crossing the distance between us and crushing his lips down onto mine. I was shocked, but unable to pull away because of the force he was holding me against him with.
He was kissing me so intensely and with such speed that it was hard to keep up, especially when his tongue found it's way inside of my mouth. What has gotten into him? "D-Dom," I breathed out in between kisses, trying to catch my breath a bit. "What's gotten into you?" I ask quickly.
He doesn't answer right away, just spins us around and pushes me roughly up against the bathroom door. For some odd, odd reason, this just barely turns me on. Actually, it might not even be that odd.. Sexually frustrated, remember? I hadn't wanted to have sex with Dom throughout our relationship, but it's like I was taking out all the tension between Austin and I onto him.
"You're rooming with your ex..." Dom husked. "And you're mine," his hands slid up under my layers, searching for my breasts as his tongue stroked mine. I moaned when his hands found there destination because my nipples were already hard and sensitive to his touch.
The thing is though, as his hands stroked my skin, I couldn't help but close my eyes and imagine that they weren't his... but Austin's. That each breath and touch he was giving out weren't his because truthfully, I didn't want them to be. I couldn't help it at all.
Dom pushed his lower half into me, letting me feel him, but also causing the door to harshly creek against it's hinges. I was trying to catch my breath from the heated kiss so I was glad when Dom broke away to lift my sweatshirt above my head.
Is this happening? Is this really happening?
"What kind of shirt is this?" Dom asks in a scoff, seeing the Slipknot tank-top. "Where the hell do you even buy this?" He laughed rudely, getting the corners of my mouth to point downwards. "Eh, it's not like it'll be on you for much longer," he huffs, pushing me back up against the door to kiss me again.
This time I'm not that into it, barely even kissing back while I think about how I'm making out with him while in Austin's shirt and subconsciously wishing he was the man I "hate". It all feels so.. weird..
But then a fist is banging on the door, getting us both to jump apart and away from it. "Hazel?" Austin yells through the wood, sounding almost angry. "Your sister is on the phone, thought you might want to talk to her," he grumbles and I sigh, quickly starting to scramble to grab my sweatshirt and tug it back on before swinging open the door.
He steps back in surprise that I opened it so fast, but then clears his throat. "I'll go wait for you in the other room," Dom whispers into my ear before starting to move past me, giving Austin a glare before walking down the hall.
"I don't like him," Austin grumbles as soon as Dom is out of sight. I scoff, shaking my head a little. "I'm serious," Austin looks down to me.
I try to ignore it and change the subject. "Where's the phone?" I ask, wondering if he answered my cell.
Austin stays quiet and I raise my eyebrows at him, but then start to put together the pieces. "Did Syd even call?" My voice raises a bit. "Seriously, Austin, what the hell? I thought it was something important! You can't just do that!"
"Sorry that I was tired of hearing you and your boyfriend fuck through that door!" He snaps back quickly and I was about to retort something back, but then realized he was right. And also, I was kind of glad he did interrupt us so I didn't do something that I'd regret. "You're welcome," Austin sighs after my small moment of silence, getting me to look up at him, a little shocked.
When I met his eyes, he wasn't looking down at me with a harsh glare anymore, but more of an understanding one. He knew that I was uncomfortable having sex with Dom? He knew that I'd regret it?
I open my mouth as to say something, but then shut it closed and rub at the back of my neck. "Just let us be for the night, okay?" I ask quietly, feeling a little bad for being rude after he pulled that.
Luckily, he didn't say anything back, just looked at me before shaking his head and walking the opposite way to go to one of the bedrooms. That's the thing about this hotel; it has a living room completely separate from the bedrooms that were also separated.
I sigh and straighten out my clothes before turning and heading back over to the couch were Dom was at. I go over and return to my seat next to him, looking straight at the TV instead of him.
"I don't like that guy," Dom states. I almost want to laugh because that's basically what Austin just said, but I don't. "I think you should stop rooming with him."
"What?" I ask in a breathy voice, now turning my head to look at him. Is he trying to tell me what to do?
"You need to get another roommate, I don't like you living with him," he states, starting to tick me off a bit. I don't even think to tell him that we switch every week.
"Excuse me?" I ask, bewildered.
"You heard me. I don't trust this guy, he could easily just come over and you two could fuck-"
"It takes two to fuck, Dom. Do you not trust me?" I scoff.
"Do I have a reason not to trust you?" He asks, his voice accusing me of something that I obviously didn't do. It pisses me off.
"No," I snark, and before he can say something back, I hold my hand up and cut him off. "Wait a minute. Even if you did have a reason, it's not like you have some kind of hold on me. We're just dating. It's nothing serious yet, and you honestly have no right to tell me what to do!" I now don't know what has gotten into me, what am I getting so worked up over? I guess I just am not a fan of getting told what to do and after Austin, out of all people, was just understanding with me, it pissed me off that my own boyfriend couldn't be.
"What are you talking about? We've been dating for like two months now, has that meant nothing to you? I've respected you all this time. We haven't done anything, and that was your choice. If I had my way, it would've happened a long time ago!"
I put my hand to my temple, "How has this conversation suddenly turned to the topic of sex? Is that all this has meant to you? You just wanted a good lay? Is that what you call 'respect'?"
"No, that's not all I wanted... But it's what I would've liked by now, yeah."
I stand up, suddenly, walking a few steps towards the door and pointing straight at it. I can't take this anymore. I already have to deal with all the shit with Austin, my family, Alan, the tour, and myself, for God's sake! I don't need him if he thinks he can just sit here and tell me what to do, especially if it's all just for sex!
"Get out, now."
"What?" He scoffs, his expression angrily amused as he stands up and comes over to me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I'm not going to sit here and be told what to do. And I will not have you telling me all you basically want from me right now is sex, and just being an asshole in general!" I grab the doorknob and open it, showing him the way to exit.
He grabs my wrist, forcing my hand off the handle, letting the door close.
I look up at him and shake my head, "You need to leave, Dominic," I say as forcefully as I could. Truth be told, I was getting a little nervous at the gleam in his eyes, and the tight hold he still had on my wrist. "And let me go. Now." I demand, losing the force in my voice.
He let out an amused laugh and grabbed my other wrist, forcing my back against the door I was trying to get him out of. "Please Dom, just go," I start pleading. I was getting scared. I couldn't imagine he was capable of doing anything too bad, but how well did I really know him? I had gotten a gleam of what he get's like when he's pissed... but that was over the phone..
Before I knew what was happening, his lips were at my neck, kissing and biting roughly. "Dom. Stop right fucking now." I demanded, unsure at what was even happening here.
He raises his head and looks in my eyes. "I started talking to you because I thought you were smoking hot, and then after sitting through countless hours talking with you when we dated, there was one thing that I really wanted. And I hardly got a good make out session with you! So before you throw me out, I am getting what I want, Hazel."
I just stare at him. He can't possibly be serious? This could not be happening to me. Not now. Not ever. Not Dom. He wasn't like this. I didn't think he was like this. "Fuck you," I spat at him, feeling hurt and worthless because he basically used me for sex.
He starts to smirk and my hands are starting to go numb from his tight grip while my eyes are brimming with tears and my mind is just running in circles. I can't think of a way to get out of this situation. And I still don't believe it will happen. Dom isn't this bad of a guy, he won't go through with this.
Suddenly he was at my neck again, had my hands pinned with one of his, and his other hand was tugging my sweatshirt up for the second time tonight. But this time, it was different. "Stop," I growled, attempting to knee him in the crotch. He dodged it and ended up putting his knee on my stomach so he could hold me down while he yanked my sweatshirt over my head, leaving me in the Slipknot tank-top.
I bring my hands up to his shoulders to push him off me, but he stays strong. "Dominic," I struggle to get his name out of my mouth, "You need to stop this, so just... stop. Now."
I hear a chuckle, and he again brings his head up and looks me directly in the eyes, "Hazel, I'm going to get what I want. After months of you teasing me with this body all the time..." He trails off, looking down at me and then making a sudden movement to start working down my shorts.
This is when real panic sets in, being reminded of all the times with Mark when he tried to take advantage of me. I start to struggle, trying to kick and shove Dom off of me, but he doesn't budge. He just starts getting closer and closer to what he wants. "Stop! Fuck you!" I yell, trying to throw punches at him, but then he just grabs my wrists and pins them down. Luckily, after all my working out I've done these past few months, I've gained more strength so I could easily rip them out of his grip and elbow him in the face while I did it.
He growled and stumbled back, allowing me to squirm out from his grasp and the door. But I didn't get far before he lunged for me. And as we fell to the ground, I could only think of one more thing to do. The only thing I've ever needed to do.
"AUSTIN!" I scream before hitting the ground, Dom falling on top of me.
"Shut up," he growls, trying to get the tank-top off of me. I only struggle more now, not allowing him to do this as I call Austin's name more.
"Hazel?" Austin's feet patter down the hallway and his voice is the most heavenly thing I've ever heard, but then I hear his steps squeak to a stop. "Hazel! What the fuck?!" He yells and runs towards us.
I'm still struggling against Dom, his weight crushing my chest, but then I let out a large breath of relief when he is yanked off of me. "You fucking piece of shit!" Austin yells harshly at Dom, throwing him back down onto the ground. "You don't fucking touch her like that!" My breathing was frantic as I sat up, only to see Austin on top of Dom, repeatedly throwing punch after punch onto his face as he swore at him.
Dom was groaning in pain, but Austin wasn't stopping. He wasn't going to stop.. It's like he's letting all his built up anger and rage out on Dom. The rage that I caused him. Hell, I caused all of this! I should have stopped dragging Dom around like I was these past few months because I was just asking for this! This is my fault and now Austin is going to kill him because I also caused the rage inside of him.
I got up and scrambled over to them, bending down next to Austin. "Austin, stop," I say, tears welling in my eyes. He didn't even give me any recognition. "Austin, stop!" I pull at his arm. "STOP IT!" I cry as I pull at Austin once more and finally, his body relaxes just enough for me to pull him away from Dom who is lying on the ground, curling into fetal position.
I slide onto my knees next to Dom's head and roll him onto his back, seeing that he needs to go to a hospital. I start pulling at his arm now, trying to get him to stand up. "Why are you helping him?!" Austin comes over, asking with his face beat red. I ignore him and help Dom stand, leading him over to the door. He's coughing and choking on his own blood, limping violently with me. I've got to get him to the hospital now, he's fucking beaten to a pulp.
I start to open the door, but then Austin storms over and steps in front of me. "Don't help this prick!" He points to Dom. "What the hell are you doing, Hazel?!"
"I have to, now move," I try to get past him, but he doesn't budge.
"No! Let him fucking rot in the hallway, that's what he deserves!" Austin yells, his fists clenched.
"Austin, move. Now," I demand, trying to help Mark past him, but he just backs up into the hallway and stands in front of us again, blocking the way.
"He doesn't deserve your help!" Austin snaps, trying not to lunge at Dom again. Before I can argue back, a door down the hall opens and Alan steps out, having heard all the yelling. I curse under my breath, knowing he'll take Austin's side.
"What's going on?" Alan asks worriedly as he jogs over, his eyes widening when he saw Dom all bloody and my appearance all messed up. It probably was quite the sight to see. "What the hell happened?" He breathed out, his voice rising at the same time.
"I walked in on this prick trying to fucking rape, Hazel! And now she's trying to fucking help the douchebag!" Austin shoved Dom's shoulder, the action alone enough to get Dom to start collapsing, my arm not being enough to keep him steady.
"Austin, stop," I plead as I bend over, Dom pulling my weight down with him.
"No, you stop!" He comes over and now grabs onto my upper arm to pull me up and away from Dom without using too much force. It was like even though Dom is on the ground and barely conscious, Austin still wont have me near him, pulling me close to his chest instead.
"Fuck," Alan tugs at his hair, realizing what's happening. "Hazel, are you okay?" He looks over to me, his eyes worried.
"I'm fine," I say, not really worried about myself right now.
"Can you just get this prick out of here?" Austin asks, his chest pressing up against my back when he speaks.
"Yeah," Alan doesn't hesitate to agree, bending down to roughly yank Dom up, not giving a single shit that he could be hurting him. "Come on you assholing piece of shit," he huffs, starting to shove Dom in the direction of the elevator. "I knew I didn't like you."
I watched as they went down the hallway, knowing there was nothing else I could do. But when Alan shoved Dom into the elevator and they disappeared, it left Austin and I alone and close in this hallway. I could feel each breath that left his chest because it was so closely pressed up against me, his hand still around my arm, holding me close to him, almost protectively.
I gulped, this being the most contact we've made this whole time. I was starting to get to the point where I couldn't take his touch anymore because him being this close was burning me inside. But also, it was fueling the anger inside of me. I'm not sure what exactly I'm angry at, probably just this whole night, but I needed to get away from this.
"Get off of me," I grumble harshly to Austin, yanking myself away from him and storming back in the hotel room. He immediately followed after, slamming the door closed behind him.
"What the hell was that?!" He asked angrily, pointing behind him. "Why the fuck where you helping that asshole?!"
"It's none of your business!" I turn around to yell back, using my hands for emphasis.
"Like hell it's not! He didn't deserve your help!" He came over to me, standing on the opposite side of the table in the tiny kitchen area.
"You don't know anything!" I yell back, my palms resting on the table, gripping tightly to the edge.
"Right," he snorts, his palms moving to rest flat on the table, too, leaning towards me. "So I didn't just see your great fucking example of a boyfriend throw you on the ground and try to rape you! And you didn't call for me?! Right! I know that none of that just happened!"
We were both leaning against the table, getting in each others faces. "That's not what I meant!" I yell back, pushing myself away from the table and walking away.
Austin follows me. "Then what did you mean, Hazel?!" He just gets louder and louder. "What don't I know, huh? Because I think I've got everything pretty clear!" He's back in my face again and I don't back down. I'm angry and I'm being pulled into this fight. Because this one isn't like the other ones, this is different. "I know that your boyfriend is an asshole! I know he tried to rape you! I know that you tried to help him! I know he doesn't deserve your help and I know that you don't fucking deserve him!"
"What the fuck do you know about what I deserve?!" I scream back, yelling equally as harshly as he is. And I can only imagine my face is as red as his is.
"What?!" Austin asks incredulously. "You think you deserved that?!"
I shake my head and back away from him, walking further into the living room area. He follows again, but suddenly, I stop to turn to face him again. "You don't know anything about me or what I deserve! Not anymore!" I start, pointing a finger at him. "But do you want to know something I don't deserve?! Huh? Do you really want to know?!"
"What?! Please tell me what this God forsaken thing is if you think you deserve that prick!" He says almost mockingly as he jabs a finger back at the door where everything just went down.
I take a large step towards him, holding my chest out as if I was some buff, intimidating guy that was trying to one up Austin. "You, Austin Carlile," I say harshly, with venom as I squint at him. "You are the one terrible thing that I have never deserved!" I yell and he stays quiet, shocked, giving me more time to explode on him. "I did not deserve you!" I place my hands on his chest and shove him backwards a bit. "But most of all, I didn't deserve what you did to me! You lying, evil, cheating BASTARD!" I scream, shoving him with each word. I was now worked up and completely upset after all that has gone down tonight. I have no more censor or control. Not anymore.
"What did you just say?" Austin growls, regaining his composure after I shoved him.
"I said you're a lying, evil, cheating bastard! Did I stutter?!" I hold my arms up as I scream, waiting for his answer as my chest huffs up and down.
"You think I fucking cheated on you?!" He yells back, his voice booming down on me. It was almost intimidating... almost.
"I know you did!" I try to sound intimidating back.
"How the fuck do you know that?! Huh?!" He takes a stomp back over to me.
"Because when you leave your girlfriend to go hook up with some blonde whore, that's considered cheating! So therefore you are considered a cheating bastard!" I explain venomously.
"You're just trying to make me out to be the bad guy! You think that fucking low of me?! You think i'd actually fucking cheat on you?!" He loudly snaps back, shocked and angry as he points a finger into his own chest. Did he really not cheat on me?
"You are the fucking bad guy! And what am I supposed to think of you when you fucking leave me to get our fucking baby aborted! All to go get drunk and fuck some stupid WHORE!" I scream, my fingers twitching for something to grab onto and throw at him. I was so on edge and I can't hold this back anymore so I'm letting it the fuck out.
Normally, talking about our baby would make us upset, but right now we are both way past that, blinded by our anger.
"You can keep telling yourself that I cheated as much as you fucking want if it makes it easier for you to see me as some evil asshole! I don't give a shit!" He gets even closer into my face.
"Goddammit, I don't have to tell myself that you're an asshole! Because I already know you are one! Everyone knows!" I get right back into his face.
"What the fuck do you know?!" Austin yells down on me. "You're just telling me shit I already am aware of! I know I'm an asshole! Just like I already know you're a bitch!" He throws his arms up above his head, spinning a bit so his back is to me.
Bitch... I hate the fucking word, especially when it comes from Austin. And he knows that it sets me off.
My fingers twitch and I take this moment to let the inner anger inside of me really show, reaching for the first thing I can grab, which turns out to be a half empty water bottle on the table. In a swift movement, I chuck it at Austin's back, getting him to spin back to me as I watch it thump off his back and onto the ground.
"A bitch?! I've done nothing for you to call me that!" I scream at him, veins popping out from my neck as his face only continues to get more red.
"Nothing?!" Austin yells as he turns back around to get close to me again.
"No!" I scream back. "I've just been fucking defending myself! And if that gets me the title of that name then so be it! But it doesn't! You had no right!" I place my hands on his chest again, pushing at him while I stand tall.
"No right?!" Austin growls back.
"No right!" I repeat. "You've had no right to say any of the things you've said to me! Or do the things you've done to me!" I yell harshly and Austin now stays quiet, not having much of an argument. He knows what he did. "You had no right to leave me at the hospital! You had no right to go get drunk and get with another girl! You had no right to abandon me and our baby! And you had no right to call me a murderer!" My breaths are comping hard and fast, chest heaving. "Do you remember that?!" I get in his face, asking as he stays quiet, remembering. "Do you remember when you called me that?!" I had a sense that I was making him guilty... Good. "Do you remember when you made me out to be some fucking monster! Well, you know what? You're the monster! You're the monster, Austin Carlile!"
I can barely finish getting his name out of my mouth before, suddenly, Austin makes a swift, harsh movement to shove me up against the nearest wall. One of his hands is firmly on my shoulder, the other one flat on the wall above me while his head is bowed down, nearly inches away from my face. At first a spark of fear ignites inside of me, but then when his dark brown eyes bore into mine, I see something that I should be afraid of, but truthfully am squirming at.
"I'm a monster?" Austin's voice is thick and dark and dripping with something that makes my stomach clench. It's a deep growl that normally would intimidate and scare someone, but right now it was makes my heart beat rapidly in my chest, noticing how close he was. His bottom half was pressed against mine, creating friction as his breaths were hot and rolling onto my skin. I swear I could hear his own heart beats, but I could be mistaking them for mine because I can feel my heart pump all the way up in my throat.
The air grew hot and intense around us, dripping with tension that could be cut with a knife. Both of our chests were huffing so hard from our breaths that they brushed against each other. I tried to answer his question, but found that I couldn't, my breath being caught in my throat along with my heart. This left my mouth parted open, my eyes staring up into Austin's, both dark and needy.
The heavy moment dragged on, my mind spinning the whole time. I couldn't get it to stop or even attempt to rap it around the thoughts that were ramming at my skull. Something was happening here and my whole body was being drawn towards it. I was being drawn to Austin and even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop it this time..
But then, finally, Austin answered his own question.
"I know," he breathed, looking down at me with eyes that held a deep look right before he cut off my breath by roughly crashing his lips down onto mine.
My whole body instantly lit up like I was set afire, gasping into Austin's mouth with surprise. His hands tangled into my hair, pressing me even harder against the wall as his soft lips that I had craved for so long attacked mine. Something in side of me clicked and suddenly my hands were reaching up to find his short hair while I aggressively kissed him back.
The heat in the room seemed to increase as our mouthes and hands viscously and angrily battled. His hands were too anxious to stay tangled in my hair for long, traveling all over my body that he hasn't been able to touch in so long. One ended up on my hip, his nails digging into it as his tongue was aggressively working with mine, the kiss being so hot I felt myself start to ache more and more.
I groaned into his mouth as I couldn't help but roll my hips against him; my body ached for this kind of treatment for so long that it was hard to control what it was doing. With a sudden forcefulness, Austin grabbed my hips that had lifted away from the wall, digging his fingers into my skin again as he slams them back against it. I gasped from the roughness, but also because he pressed his hips into me now, letting me feel his hardness.
I was losing control, not even being able to register a single thought besides: I need this. I need him.
And I could tell he was thinking the same thing when he reciprocated the same intensity into the kiss as I was. Things were getting so hot and powerful that we were sliding down the wall, still aggressively kissing as we knocked down one of the pictures framed on the wall. Neither of us paid it any attention of mind, too enveloped into our hot make-out session as we stumbled back into the nearest bedroom.
We didn't break the kiss once, but then when my feet hit the carpet of the room, Austin wrapped his arms around me to lift me up and then throw me forcefully onto the bed. His movements weren't kind or gentle, but rough and hot as it mirrored what we both were feeling on the inside. I gasped, immediately propping myself up on my elbows to look at Austin stalk over to me. His body language was intimidating and his eyes were painfully dark with lust, making my stomach clench. Fuck, I was so fucking turned on while still so angry. Not a good combination
Austin flopped down on top of me and pressed his lips angrily against mine, forcing my head to lay back against the bed. My hands were gripping onto his biceps that had grown since the last time I had touched them as he slid his hands beneath the hem of my shirt.
He sat up as he ran his large hands across my heaving abdomen, his long fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake. "You're wearing my shirt," he growled lowly, looking into my eyes instead of at the Slipknot tank-top.
I gulped, realizing I had been this whole time. I was a little unsure of he was going to react, but then it didn't matter anymore when he ripped the shirt above my head, whipping it away from us. He groaned, ducking forward and snaking his hands beneath my back to skillfully unhook the clasp of my bra before ripping that from my body, too.
I was breathing heavily as Austin, with swift movements, scooped me up and moved me toward the pillows, where he tossed me back down and stood on his knees before me as he ripped his own shirt off. His toned arms and chest were hard to keep my eyes off of.
Like a bird that was hunting it's prey, Austin swooped downward so that he hovered just above my chest, holding himself up on his elbow as he ran his other hand from just above the waistline of my pants up my abdomen, grabbing my jaw tightly and tilting my head backward once he reached it.
I gasped against his hand, the roughness making me drip with wetness, especially as he latched his lips around one of my erect nipples, biting and sucking at it until it was raw; then he moving on to the other one. I couldn’t help but pant squirm beneath him, but with each little movement, Austin would only bite down harder, making me moan out.
Austin slipped some of his fingers from the hand that was tightly grasped around my jaw into my mouth, allowing me to suck on them as he slowly made his way down my body, biting and sucking a line down to the waistband of my pants. Once he hit fabric, Austin abruptly sat up and pulled his hand away from my mouth to curl his fingers under my pants and swiftly remove them, taking my panties along with them.
There was no time to waist and no foreplay that either of us could allow, getting Austin to quickly start working on his belt. My hands immediately reached up to help him, so turned on that I couldn't go another second without him inside of me. The tension was at it's highest point, nearly choking me.
Soon Austin's pants were undone and he quickly stood up to get rid of them and his underwear in two swift movements. My core throbbed at the sight of his hard member springing free, but when Austin scrambled to get back on top of me, I knew it wasn't much longer.
There were no words or thoughts that we couldn't afford, just actions. There was no time to think about what might happen after this. We both just... need it.
The next thing I know, Austin is in between my legs, dipping his fingers into my core for a moment before replacing them with his member and slamming into me so hard it was nearly impossible to not let out a scream. Which I wasn't sure if I did because it all happened so fast and my mind was blurred.
My whole body lit on fire as the only time to adjust I was given was when Austin's large hands grasped onto my hips and pulled my up for a better angle before continuing to slam into me. I barely had time to catch my breath, it getting stuck in my throat as he immediately picked up speed. I felt his whole body rumble as he let out a deep growl that held so much power it made me quiver and the tightness in my stomach grow.
Each thrust held so much that we both needed to get out, from all the anger to all the fights, making the roughness only grow. It wasn't sweet or gentle because for the past weeks, we haven't been either of those to each other. It was fast, needy, and rough. Just what I needed.
One of my fists balled around the sheets of the bed while my other hand desperately was grabbing at Austin's hair, moaning at the sensation of his skin slapping against mine while my body met his thrusts, working just as hard with him.
I couldn't get any words out, just uncontrollable moans as my body was filled to the rim by Austin and with pleasure. His length was moving fast in and out of me as his hands squeezed his purchases so tightly that I'm sure he was going to leave bruises. But I don't care, everything was feeling so good and with each thrust or groan of his, surges of heat ripped through my body.
I gasped loudly, wrapping my arms tightly around Austin’s shoulders and digging my nails into his flesh as he beat into me. He growled animalistically and leaned down to sink his teeth on a spot where my shoulder and neck meet, bitting down hard as he grabbed one of my legs to hold out wider as he thrusted forcefully into me. A low rumble vibrated through his entire body has he kept his pace steady and rapid. I raked my nails down his back, moaning even louder as I reached the edge, my vision becoming cloudy and my breathing a mess.
Austin's breathing began to resemble that of a rabid animal as he inched closer to his climax, too, his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy. With each thrust of his hips, he pulled me against him, making me finally let out a scream of pleasure that turned into sort of sobbing moans as he continued to violently thrash into me before throwing his head backward, jaw taunt and eyes closed and letting out a low, primal growl.
I felt him fill me completely before releasing me back onto the bed after thrusting a few more times, riding out his climax. I hit the bed limply, laying there for a moment with an arm draped across my stomach as I huffed violently. My whole body was still tingling and shaking slightly as Austin collapsed next to me on the bed in the same position. Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead as the two of us lay here for what seems like forever, watching the dust particles that floated through the damp air.
The silence was deafening as we laid here, it now just settling in what we did. Neither of us had words to say or knew what the hell to even think. So we stayed still, our minds running a mile a minute. I couldn't pinpoint what I felt, nor do I have any idea of what Austin feels, but what we just did... It will change everything.
Notes
...oops it slipped ;) idkdikdikdk this may be stupid idk idk
oh my god writing dirty smut is so embarrassing don't look at me
sorry if the smut is kinda bad I'm not that good at it lol c:
This took me so long to write I just wanted it to be perfect but so much happens I was just goin crazy! I really hope you guys like this! Let me know what you think!<3
I haven't been on this website for ages now but I'm more than happy to see that there are more chapters to this story ! And even happier seeing that Hazel is doing a little bit better and on the long road to recovery... I don't know when you last posted these chapters so I'm not sure if there'll be new ones soon though ^^' anyway, I love this story as always.
1/5/16