Come Waste Away With Me

I stood there dumfounded. How else am I supposed to act? Austin kept me away from meeting bands for so long. I guess just wanting to protect me like all brothers do. But to be completely honest I think he should have introduced me to bands earlier. Like when I met Alex he has helped me through a lot. I know Austin was only trying to help me in the way he thought was right and I’m thankful for that. Really I am. But now I’m in the middle of Warped Tour; with bands all around me. I don’t know what to do so I just grip Alex’s hand tighter. Which before I had done that I forgot I was holding his hand. I’m glad to have him there for support.
“Already found yourself a groupie?” I think Jack from All Time Low said it. I hadn’t met the rest of them yet so I’m not surprised he said it. I couldn’t help the blush creep up my cheeks. How embarrassing.
The other guys standing there snickered. Two other bands were there besides All Time Low. Pierce the Veil and We Came as Romans; two of my favorite bands. I have a lot of favorite bands so bare with me. I looked at the ground not responding waiting for Alex to speak up.
“Uh, no Jack.” Alex shook his head. “This is Ariana she is a good friend of mine. Welcome her with open arms guys.”
“Makes sense.” Jack turned his attention to me. “Sorry about calling you a groupie. I’m Jack.”
“Hi.” I managed to say.
“Are you here for the whole tour?” I wasn’t sure who asked the question.
“Yea I am.” I felt like I should continue. “I’m Of Mice and Men’s merch girl.”
“How did you score that job?” Rian asked. He is also from All Time Low.
“Well she’s perfect for the job. She’s kind, smart, organized, and can keep everyone sane and in control.” Alex answered for me. I looked up at him confused of why he hasn’t said I am Austin’s sister yet.
“I can see that. Small but mighty.” Vic the lead singer of Pierce the Veil commented.
I smiled at his comment. I am beginning to calm down. I shouldn’t be nervous they are good people. “He knows what he’s talking about.”
They all laugh. We eased into conversation it was hard to keep up with everyone and their questions. Soon I felt like they wanted me there and the wanted to talk to me. I haven’t felt that way in a long time. You know how in your head you have all these expectations of how band members act and how perfect they are well my expectations were true. They just wanted to know the basics like where I’m from and what my favorite colors are. They never went to into details about anything which was good because I had no idea what to say. Alex and I migrated into the group of guys. I was now standing next to Mike from Pierce the Veil. He pulled out a cigarette and must have seen me looking. “You smoke?”
I nodded. He smiled slightly like he was surprised but he handed me one. I placed it on my lips and he lit it. I took a drag and felt my body relax more. I hadn’t smoked for a few days because Austin doesn’t know.
Alex gave me a look to show that I had to be careful. I just rolled my eyes and continued my conversation with Mike. I glanced over my shoulder and I saw Austin and the rest of them walking my way. My eyes went wide. I still had half of the cigarette left. I noticed that Mike had finished his. “Take this.”
He took it with a confused look but I sent him a look that said not to ask. I took Alex’s hand again and he didn’t pull away. I felt like Austin would be mad that I left where he told me to stay. That’s the only reason I grabbed his hand because I knew he would stand up for me.
“We have been looking for you everywhere!” Austin yelled still not close enough to not shout.
I noticed that everyone’s conversations seized. “I wanted to explore.”
“You couldn’t have sent me a text?” His voice was stern.
“You aren’t my father.” I shot back. I noticed Alan’s stare on my hand in Alex’s. I released his hand but crossed my arms. Was he jealous? No of course he’s not.
“But I am your brother Ariana.” I heard mummers. “This isn’t the place you wander around, someone could have hurt you.”
“And as you can see I’m in so much pain.” I glared at him.
“I don’t want you walking around here by yourself. Okay?” He had no right to tell me what to do.
“Ugh! Stop treating me like a child!” I didn’t mean to yell but I couldn’t help it. “I am eighteen years old! I can protect myself! I don’t need you to protect me!”
The face he wore made my heart sink. But I didn’t back down but I did steady my voice. “I’m not the little girl I used to be. I don’t want to be told what to do or how to act.”
“Aribear…” His voice trailed off when I held up my hand.
“I want to be alone. Don’t follow me. I want to think okay? I don’t need your protection or should I say controlling brother to be by me right now.” I turned around before I could run to him and say sorry. He needs to know how strongly I feel about this. “Sorry guys.” I gave a sympathetic glace to the people who had to witness it.
I walked with my head down. I debated on going back to the bus but I decided against it. I angrily wiped the tears from my eyes. Why was I being so emotional it was just a stupid fight not something to get worked up about. I sniffed when I finally started to calm down. I wanted to give up so bad. I can’t think of that. I shook my head trying to get the thought out of my head. I was nearing the highway. The cars were speeding by. If I just walked out everything would be gone and I could finally be happy. My feet were walking by themselves like I was sleepwalking. The roar of the cars was overwhelming. I was so close to being set free. I felt strong hands wrap around my waist and pull me backward. Whoever pulled me back tripped and we both fell to the ground in a heap. The air escaped my lungs. I squeezed my eyes shut I didn’t want to know who helped me.
“Ari?” Alex’s voice was quiet. I felt his arm reach out to my arm and instantly pull me to his chest. A sob broke out of me and he held me tightly. Thank god it was him and not someone else. “Don’t do that again.” I could hear his voice break like he was crying.
We stayed like that for a long time. I am so glad I have a friend like him. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was doing I had no control over my actions.” I hugged him tighter.
“I know.” That was all he said. He didn’t press the matter. “Let’s get back.”
I nodded while he helped me up. His arm stayed around my waist helping me stand. “You can’t tell Austin.” I told him hoarsely.
“You are getting worse.” His eyes only held sadness.
“It gets worse before it gets better. I will be fine.” I hope my words convinced him because they didn’t convince me.
“I won’t say anything this time. You will get better I just know it.” He smiled down at me.
At least he believed in me unlike myself.

Notes

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