Come Waste Away With Me

I felt someone tap my shoulder making me jump awake. I must have fallen asleep next to Austin’s bed, I still had hold of his hand. Sleepily I looked over to who woke me up. Alan stood there holding a cup of coffee out for me with a goofy grin. “You are very jumpy lately.” He commented as I took the cup from him.
“Well what do you expect? I was asleep and you rudely woke me up.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
He chuckled. “Fine next time I won’t get you coffee.”
“Thank you for the coffee.” I took a sip suddenly feeling sick.
“You want me to get some food?” When he mentioned food, I almost gagged. No eating you will get fatter than you already are. Mason’s words came into my mind.
“No, thank you.” I mumbled taking another sip. He gave me a look but shrugged it off not bothering to ask. I wish he would ask though but he doesn’t ask about me that much anymore. I wonder if he still loves me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. I still loved him. I set my coffee on the side table next to Austin’s bed. I didn’t want to drink it anymore. I turned my attention to Austin. “Hi Aussie, I’m here. I don’t know if you can hear me but when I got the call you were here I dropped everything and came. You need to wake up Aussie your fans need you.”
I waited for his eyes to open but they didn’t. “Ariana needs you man.”
I looked over at Alan who spoke up. “The band needs you.”
“This is crap he can’t hear us.” Alan abruptly stood up.
“You don’t know that.” I squeezed his hand hoping he would squeeze back but nothing.
“I don’t know why he didn’t tell us he was having chest pains. Tino said he saw him grip his chest a few times over tour but he never told us anything was wrong.” Pain flooded his face and I realized that his best friend is laying in this bed right now and that I wasn’t the only one who was dealing with this pain.
“Sounds like Tino should have confronted him or told someone.” I pulled my hand away from Austin’s suddenly becoming frustrated.
“Don’t blame him.” Alan reached out for me but I stepped backward.
“You are right; I’m just upset, everyone is.” The smile that appeared on my face felt foreign. I let it fall from discomfort. I am overwhelmed by how strenuous it is to pretend to be happy.
“You know we need to talk.” Alan whispered.
“This is not the time or place to talk, Alan.” I tried keeping my voice steady.
“Are you ever coming back? Why won’t you come back?” I couldn’t look at him if I did I would spill everything at this moment.
I opened my mouth to explain but Tino rushed into the room with Phil and Aaron behind him. “Has he woken up?”
“No, he hasn’t.” I answered completely ignoring Alan. I saw him walk to the corner of the room and sit in a chair very close to my bag. Part of me wanted him to be a snoop and look through it but he just stared out the window. “How are you guys holding up?”
“Come for a walk with me?” Tino didn’t answer but motioned for me to follow him. I glanced helplessly at Austin’s sleeping form. “He will be here when we get back.” I stared at my bag frowning knowing that my phone was in there and Mason is probably trying to contact me. Alan followed my gaze towards my bag. I sighed while walking over to my bag and rummaged through it before finding my phone, I left my bag open toward Alan. If he found the memory card then great if he doesn’t that’s fine too.
“Why did you want to take a walk? Are you going to try to convince me to come back? If you are I would save your breath because I’m not.” I crossed my arms.
“I wasn’t going to. I know how stubborn you can be, you will come back when you are ready.” He smiled softly.
I am ready to come back I can’t though. “I am very stubborn.”
“I’m sorry for not forcing Austin to go to the doctor; I didn’t realize it was this bad.” He shook his head frustrated.
“He is stubborn just like me, don’t blame yourself. I guess everyone must be though, I know I am.” I leaned against a wall for support.
“No one blames you.”
“I do though! I gave him so much stress between my self harm and leaving. I just shouldn’t have even agreed to coming on tour.” I don’t think I can do this much longer.
“None of this is your fault. We are all glad you came who knows if you would still be here if you didn’t.” He pulled me into a tight embrace.
“Tino, I need to tell you something.” Was I actually going to say something to him?
“What do you need to tell me?” He looked at me waiting for me to explain.
“The reason I le-” I was cut off by my phone ringing. Mason flashed across the screen. “Hold on I need to take this.”
I walked down the hall away from Tino to make sure he couldn’t hear. “Hello?”
“You haven’t called me.” Not even a hello.
“I’m sorry, Austin hasn’t woken up yet.” I replied slowly.
“Well, I want you back home.”
“I told you I wasn’t coming home until I know my brother is okay.” I wouldn’t go back until he was okay.
“I want you home by tomorrow. If he’s not awake too bad.” I glared at the wall.
“No I will not come home tomorrow.”
“You will come back here you bitch!” He yelled into my ear making me flinch.
“I have to go.” I mumbled.
“If you aren’t back by tomorrow there will be consequences. Oh and I called your job saying that you quit.” He said smugly.
“Goodbye.” I hit the end button suddenly anger filled my entire body. How could he do something like that? The only light left in my world and he took it away. He is darkness to me.

Notes

Sorry about this boring chapter...
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