"Hey, Alan? Can we go outside and talk for a minute?" I asked Alan softly.

"Uh, sure." He smiled.

I got up and walked outside to the deck. I sat down and motioned for him to sit beside me. When he hugged me, it was like Heaven. I loved being in his arms. I guess I'd been shivering, so Alan pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around me.

"So, whatcha wanna talk about?" He asked me.

"Uh, yesterday."

"What about it?" He looked at his feet.

"Why'd you run away? It's been bugging me for a while now." I sighed.

"O-oh. Uh, I uh.." His voice trailed off.

"You?"

"I was scared. Not of you, but what would happen. I know you'd never want to see me again, and when Tino brought you over, I thought you'd do something outrageous like you used to." He chuckled, "It wasn't that I didn't wanna see you, I just.." He sighed.

"Yeah, I get it. Uh, Alan?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever had me in the back of your mind?"

"All the time, Shae. All the time." He smiled, "I really miss you. I miss everything we had, everything we were, everything we were going to be." I saw a stray tear fall from his eye.

"I do too, so much."

"Then lets try again, okay?" He leaned towards me.

He crashed his lips onto mine, pulling me closer to him. I smiled against his lips, missing the slow, soft kisses. He bit my bottom lip softly, asking for entry. I parted my lips a little, allowing him access to my mouth. He slid his tongue in, gently massaging it against mine. It was incredible. He pulled away slowly when we heard someone walk out and drop a plate.

I turned around and saw Austin standing right behind us, jaw on the floor. He wouldn't say anything, all he did was stare. I looked at the floor and sighed. I saw Alan blushing like a mad man.

~~Austin's POV~~

I walked out onto the deck to see what was taking Shae and Alan so long. I had my empty plate in my hand as I opened the door. My jaw went slack and my plate fell. Shae turned around then looked at her feet. Alan was blushing, obviously happy.

I just shook my head and walked back into the house, going upstairs. I opened her door and grabbed my stuff. I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Austin, it wasn't what-" I cut her off.

"Let me guess, its not what I thought? Well it sure as hell looked like it! How could you just forget about me when you know I like you? How could you make out with my best friend when I'm in the next room?! Are you two back together or something? I really hoped that you could be mine, but I guess that's a long shot now!" I was yelling now. I saw tears spilling from her eyes. "I thought I was able to trust you. I thought you liked me.. How could you?"

"Austin, I didn't mean to. He kissed me."

"Shae, that's no fucking excuse! You looked like you were enjoying it as much as he was! Know what, bye. Don't text me, don't call me, don't try to have ANY type of contact with me at all, understood?" I ran downstairs, grabbing my keys off the counter.

I walked outside and got into my car. I put it in drive and sighed. I drove out of her drive way and went down the road. I didn't know where I was going, but anywhere was better than back there. My phone sat in the passenger seat, constantly vibrating. I picked it up once and saw that there were eleven missed calls from Shae. I sighed and threw it back into the seat.

~Shaelynn's POV~~

I called Austin over and over. I had to explain to him what happened. But, what would I say? That Alan grabbed me and kissed me forcefully? That he told me that he loved me and missed me then kissed me? Or the truth?

I kept calling Austin and he still wouldn't answer. I heard a knock on my bedroom door and saw Alan's head poke thru.

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Why?"

"No."

this happened over and over. Alan then Amanda. It went on for at least and hour. I guess they finally gave up after about 30 tries. I was glad, because all I wanted to do was write.

I pulled out my book and opened it to a clean sheet of paper. I decided to write something humorous, so I wrote a little song called "Fuck Up".

I wake up on the wrong side of my floor
My clothes still smell like the night before
Where Am I?
Why am I talking to myself?

I’m like a fat kid running through a candy store
I’m like a nympho surrounded by a bunch of whores
Why Can’t I Just Get Control Over Myself?

I’m not trying to be a saint.
I don’t wanna be president someday.
I’m just trying to make my way.

I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
I can’t do nothin' right
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
It ain’t no one’s fault but mine
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
I can’t do nothin' right
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
So if you fuck up all the time

Let’s all sing.

Oops my bad I never said I’d ever get it right.
Da Da Da Da Da Da

My girlfriend told me that she wants a break
And that being with me is what turned her gay
What’s with me; why does this happen all the time?

I’m like a blind man walking through a perfume shop
I’m like a black guy switchin' ladies in front of the cops
Why can’t I just get control over myself?

I wake up on the wrong side of my floor
My clothes still smell like the night before
Where Am I?
Why am I talking to myself?

I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
I can’t do nothin' right
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
It ain’t no one’s fault but mine
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
I can’t do nothin' right
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
So if you fuck up all the time

Let’s all sing.

Oops my bad I never said I’d ever get it right.
Da Da Da Da Da Da


I’m just a bad luck charm.
To blame when things go wrong.
Been cursed since I was born
Maybe one day I’ll change
For now all I can say


I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
I can’t do nothin' right
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
It ain’t no one’s fault but mine
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
I can’t do nothin' right
I’m sorry I’m a fuck up, yeah
So if you fuck up all the time

Let’s all sing.

Oops my bad I never said I’d ever get it right.
Oops my bad I never said I’d ever get it right.
Oops my bad I never said I’d ever get it right.

Da Da Da Da Da Da

Ah, Fuck it I sighed as Austin ran through my mind.

~~Austin's POV~~

I turned on the radio, sighing as I heard "Heartbreak Warfare" by John Mayer play. It was the most depressing song that could come on. I stopped driving when I came to a bar. I parked in the parking lot and went in to drink her away.


I walked in and ordered some Jack Daniels. My phone was in the car, so I decided to go get. Maybe I could work things out with Shae. Maybe she could forgive me. I walked out to the car and grabbed me phone. I locked it back and unlocked my phone.

I pulled up Shae's contact and pressed call.

"He-hello?" She answered with a stuffy nose.

"Shae, I'm sorry." I said, on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry too. I just.."

"I know hun, I know. C-can you come get me? I've been drinking." I walked out into the road to get a look at the name of the bar. I heard a car honk, then I everything was black.

Notes

Title Cred: Blink-182

the lyrics in this chapter go to Shane Dawson's "Fuck Up" song. You guys should check it out! It's amazing! Sorry about not updating and the shitty chapter. Soooo much drama! Uh, I need feedback from you gys. I hope y'all like it.