**Austin found my notebook and he read all this shit so fuck also this whole thing is about him, I'm turning into a teenage girl.**

I asked Austin to stay in my room last night and he did, which made me really happy. But yeah, he found my notebook and he teased me slyly about the things I wrote. Then told me that he thinks I like him. And I think I upset him because I told him to stop and not to bring feelings into what we are since feelings just ruin things if they're spoken about and then I told him I was sorry and he told me he understood and I told him I didn't think he did then he got a little agitated. So, I felt bad about that for a while because I didn't want to upset him and I'm really trying to be nice. I asked him what he thought I meant and he said that I didn't want anything which really isn't the case at all. Because, I do want him just... Not yet. He proceeded on by saying he was dumb and just put himself down. I didn't like that at all.

Ronnie came into topic again. And he was a dick to Austin. After Austin and I fucked the first time Ronnie and he laughed. Well, Ronnie was going to visit Austin in his room and basically told him he wasn't going to come if the room 'smelled like sex.' I also found out that Austin took care of Ronnie when he was 'sick' and hasn't really spoken to him since he started dating Oli. ASSHOLE. Austin seemed upset because he thought they were friends and he's never really had friends before since he was bullied and the few times he'd had sex, they left him quickly. Again. ASSHOLES. How could somebody just.. use him like that? It actually just makes me feel sad I mean.. I couldn't leave him, not now. He said that he deserved that and I asked why, he just said something about karma and that we get what we deserve. He definitely didn't deserve to be treated that way. He told me that he has random blackouts and doesn't remember what happens during them so for all he knows, he could deserve the shit that's happened to him and thought that that would scare me off. But, I don't care. I still disagree. And I'm still not going to leave him.

He'd never told anyone about his blackouts before and it made me feel good because he felt that he could trust me. People have never really trusted me so much before and I really liked that. I think maybe he felt bad about reading my notebook because he lowered his head and told me he wouldn't read it again. I didn't really mind because.. If anything does happen, I need to be honest with him, right? But, I guess for now writing in this piece of shit is like an escape to me. An escape from all the bad things because sometimes I fill my head up with bad thoughts and then bad shit happens. It's weird that I don't write about any of that, I just like talking about Austin.

**Austin told me so much today, he opened up a lot**

"I could never focus enough to keep one of those." He was talking about my notebook. I told him I only started keeping one when I got here because there isn't really much else to do then he told me "I just drink. Usually alone." Which.. Made me feel sad. Again. There's nothing worse than being alone and being alone and drunk must be terrible since your thoughts riddle you and you overthink everything.

After that we went to the garden because it was super hot and I think I shocked him because I went out completely naked. He turned all cute again and just AW. I led down on the grass and he covered my dick with flowers so I asked him why. He said "pretty flowers for a cute boy or maybe I just don't want anybody else to see you." And I think my heart stopped completely for a few seconds because being called pretty by such a perfect guy is just a great feeling and him telling me he didn't want anyone else to see me just... Made me feel kinda like, protected or something? I don't know. But, he made me blush - darker than Nick did. So I told him he was an angel. I rolled onto my stomach and he covered my butt. Again.. with flowers. I think maybe he likes flowers. He picked a lot. I started laughing when he put them on my ass because it tickled but, he just kept, putting more on which really just made me laugh harder. After he was done spreading them around he looked and said "it's cute." He called my ass cute?????????? Wow. He told me he thought I was more than cute and that made my heart stop again.

Then he went on a kind of like.. Rant about how he wishes he could read peoples minds and he could read theirs. He's curious about me because I don't tell him what I think. All I've thought about since I've got here is him, which he knows. He liked thinking but doesn't know how to get it out of his head and wishes he could. (I just realised this is all over the place and I'm sorry.) I'm just going to tell you the conversation since it makes things a whole lot easier.

Aus10; "Cuz I could know what people think. Especially you, I'm still curious about you."

Me; "I don't think about much. It all goes into my pen. So you basically know what I'm thinking already."

Austin; "But not like now. Like... we think so many things in one day and then when the thought goes away, we just... forget about it. But the ones we forget about like, show more of us. Again, if that makes sense."

Me; "I think it makes a lot of sense actually."

Aus10; "Good. Anyone else would have told me to shutup by now,"

I never told him to shut up because the way he puts his point across is cute. Honestly, all I was thinking about while he was talking was how fucking beautiful he really was. (I didn't let that show since I didn't want to make him feel weird or whatever.)

After that he started making a crown out of flowers on my head and called me a princess. I really wasn't sure how I was meant to react. He has this really funny face when he's concentrating because
he puts his tongue between his teeth and it's just really funny. He gave me more compliments and made me blush (I turned the colour of a lobster for fucks sake, way to go, Al.)

Then we went back to my room and watched Beauty and the Beast. He told me it was his Mama's favourite movie. He hasn't really mentioned much about his family so.. I think I'd like to hear about them.

That is all for now.
Bye.

ps. Ronnie better stay the fuck away from Austin. And Nick. He's bad news and is just a shitfaced wanker. Good fucking day.

Notes

I promise it'll get a little more interesting soon!