The Journal

"Thank you. Tonight was perfect," I told Oli, looking at our entwined hands.

"No, thank you," Thank me? I looked up at him, genuinely confused at what he was thanking me for.

"For what?"

"Agreeing to come out with me. For being here with me,"

"I'm sorry I took so long," Oli grinned at my reply, brushing his thumbs over my hands.

"Oi! Shithead! Hurry up, I'm hungry!" Tom yelled from the passenger seat of Ian's car.

"Watch your mouth, boy! Leave them alone to say goodbye!" Ian smacked him around the head.

"I guess I should go..." Oli mumbled.

"I don't want you to go," I pouted. He just smiled and pressed his lips to mine, giving me a brief peck before pulling away, our lips still slightly brushing.

"My dad's not home. Stay," I whispered against his lips.

"I can't,"

"Why not?" I frowned.

"What if your dad comes home?"

"It's Friday," I rolled my eyes. "He won't be back until tomorrow afternoon," Oli still looked hesitant, shaking his head slightly.

"Please? I'll let you sleep on my side of the bed," I grinned brightly, hoping to move him.

"You're so damn cute," he chuckled. "You win,"

"Yes!" I cheered happily.

"Dad, is it okay if I stay here tonight?" Oli called to Ian.

"Of course! But be safe, if you know what I mean," Ian winked, driving off down the road before either of us could protest, with Tom hanging out the window doing kissy faces.

"Let's just head inside." I unlocked the door and walked into the living room with Oli trailing behind me. We got comfy on the couch before turning on my possibly favourite movie of all time, The Lost Boys. I love those sexy vampires.





"I love that movie so much. And not just because of sexy Dwayne, Michael and Paul," I said happily, turning off the TV. I felt Oli's gaze on me and I looked at him, him staring at me.

"What are you - " My sentence was cut off as he pressed his lips to mine, immediately silencing me. His tongue glided across my lips, opening them so he could slip his tongue through. He sat back on the couch, pulling me onto his lap so I was straddling him. His hands slid down my sides, stopping at my waist and grabbing a fistful of my dress in each hand as my hands made their way to his hair, letting my fingers tangle themselves in the dark locks. Our mouths moved in rhythmic sync for a few minutes before we pulled away breathless, him resting his head on my chest.

"Please," I whispered.

"No,"

"You've slept with other girls before. Why not me?" I asked, slightly hurt that he never wants to do anything with me.

"You're not just some other girl, Bonnie,"

"How am I so different?"

"Because I didn't love them," Oli answered seriously.

"Please Oli,"

"No,"

"Why not? Why are you waiting so long?"

"Because I didn't want you to feel like I'm going to use you,"

"I trust you,"

"You promise?"

"I promise."





I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. This was the first time it was going to mean something to me. I loved Oli. I was in love with him, and as Oli closed my bedroom door, I knew this was happening, and it was going to be different.

He walked over to me and lowered me gently on the bed, smiling down at me. I smiled back and lifted my head, pulling him into a passionate kiss. His hands tenderly went down my sides, his fingers brushing the skin of my thighs before beginning to take off my dress. As soon as it was off, my hands quickly covered my scars.

"Don't cover yourself in front of me. You're beautiful," Oli removed my hands away from myself and kissed my exposed stomach, making my heart flutter once again.

He lifted his head and smiled, pressing kisses to my neck. I placed my hands on his chest, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt before pulling it off him completely, dropping it to the floor with a thud. I pulled at the waistband of his boxers, giggling as it made contact with his skin. I heard him chuckle from above me, feeling his breath on my neck. I whimpered slightly as his hips rolled into mine, the friction causing a prominent bulge to form in his jeans. I knew he was uncomfortable, so with shaky fingers I reached out to undo the button and pulled the zipper down, him helping me take them off as kissed my cheek. His arms lifted my back up slightly so he could unclasp my bra, throwing it on the growing pile of our clothes on the floor. I tugged at his hair to bring him up to eye level, his brown orbs piercing into mine. He pulled my hand up to his lips, leaving soft kisses on the skin before turning my hand over, leaving a long, delicate kiss on the scarred wrist.

His fingers left a trail from my throat, over my stomach, and down to the front of my panties, carefully hooking his fingers inside and slowly pulling them down my legs. His lustful eyes scanned up and down my now naked body, a smile forming on his face.

"You're so beautiful Bonnie," I felt my cheeks heat up and I shyly smiled, running my hand over his cheek. My other hand grabbed the dark material of his boxers, pulling them down his legs as he hovered over me.

He was an angel.

Oli grabbed a condom from his jeans pocket and slid it on his length, then placing his forearms either side of my head to keep his weight off of me, kissing my forehead as he did so.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly, his tip ghosting over my entrance.

"Yes," I whispered breathlessly. He pushed his length into me, him burying his head in the crook of my neck as he began to move. I let out a moan and he grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers together before laying our hands on the mattress. He left wet kisses to my collar bone as he rocked his hips continuously into mine, my eyes closed tightly as I turned my head to the side.

"No," Oli whispered, gently grabbing my chin. I still didn't open my eyes, feeling to much pleasure. If I had been standing, I surely would have collapsed. "Open those pretty eyes for me Baby," I listened, my vision blurry from how tight I had been shutting them.

His thrusts became a bit faster and harder, but it was still loving. He pressed messy kisses to my lips, both of us panting and out of breath.

"I love you. So much," I whispered, stroking his clammy forehead. His hair was slightly damp from sweat, and he was looking at me with so much love that it actually emotionally pained me.

"I love you more." Oli continued to move inside me, letting go of my hand so he could grip the headboard of my bed as he went deeper. I raked my nails up and down his back, feeling the beads of sweat underneath my fingers. My hair stuck to my the bare skin of my chest as I breathed deeply, feeling the familiar tightening in my stomach. I could tell Oli was close too as his thrusts were becoming more urgent and sloppy.

After a few more thrust, messy kisses and loving touches, I let it out. I moaned out his name,crying out as he too exploded into me. He once again interlaced our fingers, him still buried inside me as he smiled, moving the sweaty hair away from my face. He lovingly kissed my salty lips, before resting his forehead against mine.

The love I had for this boy was indescribable, and I wish I had realised that sooner.

Notes