One Moment

With a sigh, I climbed up the stairs to my bus, lugging my bag full of shit with me. I had been released from the hospital not too much later after I was checked in, but the doctor had given me a ton of shit. Inside my bag there was prenatal vitamins, a few prescriptions of a bunch of medicine that I can't remember the names of, but are supposed to help or regulate my pregnancy, and some newly prescribed anxiety medication that I would be able to take safely with the baby. And the doctor even gave me the locations of some hospitals he recommended that were located in spots we stopped at the rest of the tour. I'd have to go in every few weeks for a check up.

Doctor Jeff agreed to letting me finish the rest of Warped because it was only a couple weeks, which I was glad for. But the idea of not performing was haunting me.

It was a lot and a very kind thing for the doctor to do, especially when that was my first time ever being there and it was emergency care.

"Are you sure you don't want to come back with me?" Austin asked before I climbed all the way onto my bus. He was going to head back to his bus to catch up on his much needed sleep.

"I'm sure. You need some good rest," I turned to face him. "You were up all night for me."

Austin nodded, but didn't move. We just looked at each other, studying the others face, seeing the emotion swimming in our eyes. We were both exhausted, but I'm sure the only thing he could see in my eyes was struggle to deal and accept what just happened. I was freaking out.

And then he did the one thing that felt as if it could mend all my wounds.. He pulled me into a hug.

Not just a normal hug, one where I was completely enveloped in his arms and warm embrace and comforting sent. One that spoke a thousand words and held the most comfort I could think of, letting me feel like I could breathe for the first time since I found out I was pregnant.

He just held me for a while, letting me squeeze him and letting our emotions flow together.

Austin made everything seem okay when I felt scared. Terrified, actually. Terrified and worried and unsure and fuck.

I never wanted to break away, but we had to. And when we did, he placed his hands on my face and looked down at me with his big brown eyes that felt as if they could melt me. "I love you," he said, barely a whisper that took my breath away. How was it possible to have fallen for a person so hard so fast that I felt this much love? Was it normal? Because it sure doesn't feel normal. But that's how it's supposed to feel. And I like it.

"I love you, too," I breathed, placing my hand over one of his.

The corners of his mouth perked up at my words and he let himself take them in for a moment.
"I'll see you later?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," I nodded, not moving my eyes from his as his hands slid from my face and he took a step away, giving me a smile before he turned and slowly left.

With a sigh to snap myself out of whatever zone I was in watching him walk, I turned to go onto the bus now.

"Hazel!" Izzy cheered when I walked in and I cringed, my headache still very prominent. "Oh my God!" She breathed as she ran over, bringing me into a bone crushing hug. "I heard the good news.. Holy fuck," she had a grin on her face, one I struggled to return. Good news wasn't the first thing that came to my mind when I heard. I'm working on it.

"Can I?..." Izzy asked nervously, holding her hand near my stomach. I nodded and watched as she put her hand down. There was nothing to feel, but the idea was enough. "I'm so excited about our brand new little band member," she said in a baby voice to my stomach, making me chuckle a little. "I'm gona teach you how to be a rockstar little baby," she cooed.

Izzy stood back up and gave me one more hug, squealing in excitement a little bit before she stepped to the side, letting me come in and see Kush and Sammy. Sammy first pulled me into a big hug, even though I had already seen him earlier. Besides Austin, his sent was the only other one that gave me comfort.

Kush was standing behind him with a big ass, cheesy grin, his teeth looking like fake dentures. He was trying to look goofy. He gave me a quick hug before getting on his knees in front of me, putting both hands on my stomach. "I am sensing that you are going to be a guitar player.. Like your uncle Kus-Kyle.." Kush stopped himself from saying Kush, making me laugh. I guess it's not the best nickname to have around children.. 'Hi kids, this is your uncle weed!'

"No, a drummer!" Sammy interjected.

"No. No, definitely a guitar player like your cooler uncle. I bet there's a little guitar in there with you?" Kush chuckled. "You're going to be so kick ass."

I smiled at them and playfully punched Kush as he stood up. "I'm gona go put this stuff away," I held up my bag and everyone nodded.

Descending further into the bus, I stopped by my bunk and through the bag inside with a huff. I stood there as I took thing by thing out, stopping to look at my prenatal vitamins. I tried reading the instructions on the back, not remembering what the doctor said.

"Hey," Izzy's soft voice came from behind me.

I turned and gave her a small smile before turning back to the vitamins. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.." I chuckled, trying to take a lighter approach on what is going on inside my head.

She gave a small laugh and went so she was sitting in my bunk, looking down at me. "How are you doing with all of this?" She asked lightly.

I sighed as I set the prenatal vitamins down and rubbed my hands over my face. I was debating on what to say for my answer, but then realized something. "It doesn't really matter.. I'm having this baby whether I like it or not," I shrugged.

"Do you not like it?"

"Well, no.. I mean how could someone not love and be happy about their own little baby?" I put a hand on my stomach. "But, it just... I feel like I'm not ready and I don't know what to do.."

"Austin's a great guy, he'll do anything for you two and help you out completely, plus, look at all the support you have around you?" She smiled. "Everyones going to love that little rockstar."

"I've only been with Austin for barely half a year.."

"Yeah? So?"

"So? That's barely anything!" I exclaimed.

"Do you love Austin?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation.

"Are you happy to be having his child?"

"..Yes."

"Then what's the problem?"

It was quiet for a moment as I came up with my response, not exactly knowing. "Normally couples are together years before they have a baby.. Everything is just suddenly happening so fast.."

"I don't think there is a required time you need to achieve before you fall in love with somebody and settle down with them," Izzy said lightly.

Those words echoed in my head, letting my mind really absorb them. Bitting my lip, I nodded. "But what about us? The band? I'm not going to be able to tour and Austin is always going to be on tour and with his band... I mean I can't just stop his life and career even though mine might be," I frowned, realizing the horror of what I said, completely terrified for how this might work out.

"Well, actually," Izzy smiled. "We talked about it and even though you can't do the rest of the sets here, we decided that we'll give everyone a free acoustic concert! You can just sit on a stool a sing, no strenuous activity at all!"

I smiled a little at that, it making me feel a little bit better. At least I can still perform for my fans here. "You'll fill in for me at the normal sets?" I asked, hopefully.

"Of course, it will all be fine! The fans will understand, and I'm sure another free concert for them won't be too upsetting," we both laughed.

"But what about later? After Warped?" I asked, worriedly looking up at her.

"Well we do have a break after Warped to settle down, then maybe we can do some song writing up until the baby is born? We can always do acoustic concerts and if we have to, we can take a break until the little one is old enough.."

"I don't just want the band to stop because of me.." I frowned, feeling bad.

"The band doesn't have to stop, we can always work in the studio and write, giving the fans something to look forward too.. And like I said, the fans will completely understand, they'll be excited!"

I nodded, looking down. Mind worrying wasn't really put to ease, but at least I know not everything has to stop. I still feel bad for having to mess up the rest of my band for the time being, and I don't even want to know what will happen to Austin. I'm never ever going to make him stop with his music and touring, and I know he wont want to, but what will happen? When he's touring or out all the time and I have to raise a baby alone?

It all be worth it in the end, right?

I dug into the bag on my bunk and pulled out a manilla envelope and with shaky hands, I opened it. Inside was a small picture that only fit in my hand, but meant the world to me.

"Is that...?" Izzy started, already knowing what it was, but I nodded anyways.

"The Doctor gave it to me, said he thought I might want a picture.. Took it when he found out I was pregnant.." I looked down at what was in my hands. You couldn't really see much, just some black and white streaks that kind of formed something that was supposed to be the little human inside of me.

Izzy gasped lightly, a smile on her face as she looked at the picture. "Kinda looks like a little jelly bean," I laughed lightly.

Izzy hopped down from my bunk and pulled me into another hug, which I buried my face into her shoulder, breathing in and out. "Thank you," I mumbled to her.

"It's never a problem, Hazel," she said when she pulled back.

I gave her a smile, "I'm gona go take a shower, I stink," we laughed a little and Izzy nodded but took the picture from me. "Can I show the guys?"

"Sure," I smiled and she giddily cheered and headed back to the others while I moved to the bathroom.

Once inside, I stopped when I saw the mirror. Curious, I shut the door and pulled my shirt off, turning so I was sideways, putting my hands on my stomach. I tried comparing my stomach size to what it was before, but it was hard to tell. I don't know exactly when I'm supposed to be showing, but I did look a little bit more puffy in the stomach area..

Still grasping at the idea that there is a baby inside me, I stripped the rest of my clothes off and turned the shower on, hoping the warm water would relax me.

Notes

So is Hazel slowly coming to terms with the news or just silencing the freak out she's having?
How do you think it will all play out?

At least she can perform!

Let me know what you guys think! I love you all!