My Understandings

~Ellie~
I walked to the PTV bus after being harassed on Twitter. I had Austin with me and we wanted to know if Tony was coming with us to Starbucks. I knock on the door and lean against it.
*BAM*
“Que comían todos los bocadillos?!?!?!” Vic’s voice rang throughout the bus. I look at Austin, but he’s too busy trying to peek through the windows.
“Man I don’t know! Probably Jaime since he was the last one in the kitchen.” Mike reassures.
*BANG*
“Jaime! Conseguir su culo de aquí!!!!” Vic screams.
“I swear I aint do shit this time! Tony de mentir! He lost your beanie!”
“It wasn’t even Tony! It was Mike-my beanie? I’m talking about the last bag of chips Jaime!!!! ¿por qué se come Jaime!!!” Mike opened the door when we heard another noise.
*BAM*
“Hey guys. Tony can’t come. We’re in a bit of a situation.” Mike rolls his eyes before running off to the back. Jaime then bursts through the door, pushing me to the side.
“Sorry Ellie!” he begins to run to who knows where. Vic jumps off the bus, his eyes scanning the venue. He spots me and smiles.
“Hey Ellie. Where’s Jaime?”I shrug my shoulders as he sticks his hand out to help me.
“I dunno. He took off that way-”
“Thanks!” he takes off running where I pointed, knocking me over again. My shades plop off my face.
“So, Starbucks?” Austin asks. I get up for the second time, brushing any and all dirt from my pants, putting my sunglasses back on. Checking the time to make sure we have enough time, we walk outside the venue for a second time, heading the opposite way.
“So, are you excited?” Austin asks.
“About what?”
“Getting singed!” I mean, duh, I was excited. I can work more closely with Kellin and Austin. I mean, Kellin is amazing and since I’m doing unclean and clean vocals, working with both of them could be really amazing. And working close with Kellin means I get to meet his fiancé and daughter, which I am so excited about. And I get to spend more time with Alanand the guys, so duh. I’m excited. And I can meet matty again, because he seems like an awesome guy.
“But what if I don’t get signed?” I ask.
“What!” he voice booms, scaring me. He glances at me. “Sorry.” He mutters. “But of course you will get signed. You are an amazing singer and your band is awesome. Well, I wouldn’t know. I haven’t talked to any of them, but they seem amazing on stage.” I let out a snort. “Plus they are gonna have to sign you.” He says as we enter Starbucks.
Have to?
“Why?” I tug on his shirt as he orders two caramel Frappuccino’s.we take a window booth and he begins to talk.
“Whether they notice it or not, you will be the first female band signed to Rise Records who has a variety of vocal range. Most bands have a clean and unclean vocalist.”
“Kellin doesn’t.” I point out.
“That’s because Jesse, the backing vocalist is doing the screaming. Let’s face it. You’re gonna be the first band. You’re the only vocal for the band and then once you find you a keyboardist and make a music video, there’s gonna be lots of record companies wanting to sign you.”
“Wow.” That’s a lot to take in. it’s like, we’re a secret weapon against everyone else.
“Any other record labels you would want signed to?” actually there is some I’ve been looking up. I already feel bad for basically getting David kicked out of his contract with Rise Records, I have backup labels in case something happens and we lose our contract. As my dad would say;
If David got kicked out something, you will too. Have a backup plan.
My dad could not have been anymore right.
“Yes. Sumerian Records. I See Stars are signed there. There’s a couple more I have my eye out for.” Austin sends me a toothy grin and I die on the inside. I feel the blood rushing into my cheeks.
No, no here.
The lady calls for our order and I sigh in relief. Austin comes back and sets our drinks down.
“So, you never told me what your tattoo sleeve means.” I choke on my drink, nearly dying in the progress. I check the time again, only one.
Damn it.
“Uh, oh look at the time, I should be-”
“Ellie. Sit.” And my stupid self sits down. He sighs. “Just tell me.” I take more sips of my coffee.
“Nothing.” I say. Through my sunglasses and through his, I can see him rolling his eyes.
“So, you got a tattoo that meant nothing?” I nod. “Ellie, that’s not like you.” He’s right. I would never get a tattoo that means nothing to me. Each skull, each charm, each rose and quote means something and they’re all tied to Austin.
“Erm, nothing important Austin.” I whisper.
“Ellie……” He places his hands on top of mine.
Don’t blush, don’t blush.
“Austin…….I-”
“Austin!!!” fans begin to crowd our table. I’m used to hanging out with the guys to know that when fans come, I’m automatically not as famous and not as important as them. I quietly slip from the booth as a fake Barbie slides into my seat. I take my coffee as I walk out of Starbucks. Then I remember.
I have absolutely no idea where I am.
Groaning, I dial David’s number and walk a few feet away from the café.
“Hello?” his deep voice shouts into my ear.
“David,”
“Ellie?”
“Yea. I was wondering, if you could come get me from Starbucks. I have no clue where I am.”
“Uh, I thought you were with Austin.” I could feel the annoyance start to rise in my voice.
“Well, there was a change of plans. So can you come get me or not?” there was a shuffle in the background and the sound of a door being closed.
“Yea. I’ll be her in a few.”
“K.”
“Bye.” The line clicks. I slid down the brick wall and sit between the newspaper stand and a horse. The one where you put money in it and you sit on it. The door flies open and I hear Austin.
“Ellie? Ellie where are you? I’m sorry!” I’m actually glad I wore all black today. I blend in real good. Turning my head so only my hair shows, since it cover my complete shoulder, and I listen to Austin footsteps. Soon, his shouts become fainter and fainter until……
“Gotcha you!” I scream.
~Austin~
Great move Austin. You’re supposed to be hanging with your best friend and you let a couple fans ruin that. Who knows where she ran off too.
Nice job dipshit.
I begin my journey to the stage when I spot a girl I think I may know.
“Miley!” The girl with the colorful hair turned my way. “Are you packed for tonight?” she nodded and ran off somewhere. Nothing’s gonna ruin my night. Tomorrow, my best friend is going to get singed to Rise Records and make a music video. They said that if they get singed, the date of the video would be on the first day of our Headline Tour: Beyond Reckless. One benefit of having your best friend a rising artist, you get to go on tours with her. Down set of your best friend being a rising artist, it’s harder to explain your feelings when they’re hooking up with people. Ugh! I take out my iPhone and prepare for a Tweet.
Austin Carlile: packing up and heading with ma bestie for a week. Hope you get signed to our family @EllieSNS
Kellin Quinn: @austincarlile she’s basically like family signed or not ;) @EllieSNS
He was right. Whether she does get signed to our record label, she’s basically like family to everyone else. The first friend she made was Vic, that lead to Alex and soon Kellin and everything fell into place. She was meant to be a part of the Warped family. She’s made it this far with her band and I will help her the rest of the way. Whether it’s as a best friend or a boyfriend (really hoping on the last part), she deserves this. She doesn’t deserve that rape. Or Andy breaking her heart.
And I’ll be damned to let it happen again.
I love Ellie way too much to let anything harm her. If it wasn’t for my dumbass breaking up with her, she could still be mine. I will always have this burden that I caused her to be depressed and sad. I’ve known her for eight years. We’ve been through hell and back. When my mother died, I shut everyone out. But the suborned Ellie who barely knew me at the time always came for me. I’ve soon grown to her and she was the only who ever saw me cry. Two years later, her dad passes away. It was so horrible.
18 year old Ellie and 19 year old David stand there with ash caked on their faces and arms, their mother on the ground crying her heart out. The fire in their eyes as they watch their father be burn alive inside the house fire. I remember that night so clear.
7 years ago
Walking back from chad’s house, I was nearly run over by a fire truck speeding down the street, making a left. That’s where Ellie and her brother stay at. Taking a deep breath, I began to chase after the truck, running as fast as I can. Please let her be okay, she’s the only person who stuck by me. I turned the corner as an explosion shook the ground and a flash of orange lit the sky up. I stopped for a moment, taking in the beauty as it lit up the sky. Then I continued to run. I stop at the end of the street as I take in the scene. Their house is engulfed in fire, a giant fire ball. Firemen are trying to put the fire out and people are standing there scared. I gasp as I realize it’s Ellie’s house.
“ELLIE!” I scream. I run to the house to see where they are. I stop as I see two figure run out the house.
David and his mother.
Their hair is singed at the ends and there are covered in smuck and grim. A few minutes later, it seems as if the fire is getting bigger and bigger and there is still no sign of Ellie.I fall on my knees. It seems as if I lost someone very important to me. Two someone’s in the past year. Then I hear the cries. I look up to see Ellie bursting out the house, the ends of her hair on fire, her face covered in ash. She ran to her mom and brother, all huddled together as they wait for the last member of the Schmitt family to emerge out. Minutes pass as the fire gets more out of control and then BOOM!!! The house literally explodes. Mrs. Schmitt collapses on the ground, the fire burning in her eyes. David and Ellie hold each other. I walked up to them and did the same thing she did to me when my mom died. I walked up to her and hugged both of them as they cried into each other’s arms and my shirt.
We sat there all night. All four of us. when morning came, we looked at all that remained of the house.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
It was all a pile of ash.
And there was no sign of her dad.
~Ellie~
“Shit, you scared me David!” I slapped his boney hands from my wrists. He chuckled, but yanked me up anyway.
“Who are you hiding from?” he asks.
“Austin because we were drinking coffee and-David! Are you even listening?” I turn around to see him putting money in the mechanical horse. I take my phone out and take a photo while laughing my butt off. The horse begins to rock forward while making weird grunts and horses noises.
“David……..what……are…….you…….doing?” I say in between breaths. I begin to record a video for Twitter. I place myself in front of the horse while David rides it. I hit the record button.
“Ladies and gentlemen, David Schmitt, my idiotic brother.” I post it on twitter and David hops out. He whips out his phone and takes a pic of the two of us and basically puts it on every social media he has an account for.
“So, when we get home, are we staying at mom’s?”
“Nooo. Mom won’t be back home until the last day. She’s on a business trip.” I love my mom to death, but sometimes, I just wish she would stop working and spend time with us. But, hey, she can do whatever. We begin to walk back to the venue, a smile plastered on my face. This is the first time in a while that my brother and I have spent time together, that isn’t drinking. And it feels amazing!
My phone begins to blare the I See Stars ringtone I changed it too. I looked at the caller I.D and it was an unknown number. David gives me a weird look and I just shrug my shoulders.
“Hello?”
“Yes, this is Devin from I See Stars, is this Ellie from Sorry Not Sorry.” I almost dropped my phone.
Shut. Up.
“Yes it is.”
“WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!!!!!!!!” he screams into the receiver. I pull the phone away from my ear for a moment to give my ear time to stop throbbing. Then I had to sink in what he said.
“OH MY GOD!!!! THEY WANT TO SIGN ME?!?!?!” I scream back.
“YES!!! WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE OR SCHEDULE A MEETING FOR YOU TO SIGN PAPERS!!!!!”
“OH MY GOD!” David shoots me another look as we enter the venue grounds. I’m too shocked to do anything but stand frozen in my spot.
“I KNOW!” he screams back.
“OH MY GOD!” I use my hands to fan myself. I was feeling hot and the ground was rushing up towards me. David’s face turned to concern as he studied me.
“OH MY GOD!”
The black splotches take over.
Then I blacked out.
------
I wake up with the sound of a bag being ruffled around. Groaning, I turn over, feeling the leathery material under me.
“Bout time you woke up.” A British accent spoke. I peek an eye open and saw Ben staring at me. I quickly sat up and look around. It’s dark so I can’t tell who bus I’m on.
“Where am I?”
“You don’t even recognize your own bus? Oh, by the way, these chips suck.” That still doesn’t explain what happened. I throw my feet on the floor and get up, but sitting right back down as I felt dizzy.
“What happened?”
“Oh, you blacked out from over excitement and heat exposure. You were out all day.” He says taking another handful of chips.
“What?! Who did my performance? What about practice!”
“Calm your tits. Taylor filled in for you.” I heard a thump coming from the back lounge. Taylor walks out with Austin, suitcase in his hand, laughing. I instantly felt a pang of jealousy course through my blood as my cheeks turned red. Taylor looks my way and she rushes to me.
“Are you okay? I thought you died!” she hugged me, almost killing me.
“Nope. Just passed out. For five hours. Where is everyone?”
“Oh! They’re on their way to the airport, your brother is waiting for you along with Alan and Tino. Everyone else is gone. Now hurry, don’t miss your flight.” She ushers me up and snatches the suitcase from Austin’s hand.
“Wait! Our bus! Tell Kyle to not fuck up my bus or-” Austin picks me up bridal style and walks off the bus. I don’t protest, mainly because I’m so weak. Instead, I curl up against Austin’s chest. I quietly inhale his scent.
God, I miss this smell.
Austin sets the stuff in the trunk and crawls in the back seat, still carrying me. I curl up next to Austin as he begins to ask me questions.
“So, all of us, Tino, Phil, Alan, Aaron and I, along with Miley, Ryan, Max and David are all staying at your place?” I quietly chuckle to myself. David and I don’t stay at the same house Austin is thinking about. We moved to L.A and we bought this huge house. It’s enormous. Three story nine bedrooms and I’m surprised we still have the house. We each pay half of everything.
“Yeah.” I quietly say. He begins to stroke my hair, knowing it makes me sleepy. He murmured some few words none that I could on to, and fell asleep.
I woke up again to only find myself in a moving car, in the passenger seat.
“Bout time you woke up.” Startled, I hit my head on the window. I squinted my eyes to see the figure driving.
“David?” the sun was just rising over the city as we passed the beach. “Where is everyone else?”
“Towing behind us. Get some rest; we’ll be home in a few.”
Home.
~Austin~
“L.A?” we all ask ourselves. We’ve been following David’s car for three hours, which at first, I thought was kinda weird since I thought they lived in Long Beach, but no. We are driving through the heart of Los Angeles. About a few minutes later we pull into the driveway of a fucking mansion. It was huge!
Three stories, a pool in the back, oh my gosh, they live here?
Even back in Long Beach, they live in the most expensive houses. But that didn’t change her personality. She was sweet and nice, one of the popular kids at school. But never hung around the popular kids. The car halted to a stop behind David’s car and two more followed behind us. Man, all of us will fit in this house. I got out the passenger seat as Tino got out the drivers. The trunk was already opened and people were filing into the house. I grabbed my bag and walked up to the house. My eyes traced over every feature of the house.
“Hey, you okay?” a hand was on my stomach as the person leaned in on me. I wrapped one arm around her shoulders and looked at the house.
“Yeah.” It felt so good to have her in my arms like this. I pulled her closer, not wanting to let go.
“So, there’s nine bedrooms and everyone has already claimed one,” she pointed to the top portion of the house that has lights on in every room. “So, you can take my room and I’ll sleep with David.”
Dude, do something. If you want her back, now is the time.
“No, it’s okay, I’ll sleep on the couch or something.”
“No, uhm, unless you sleep with me. I mean, my bed is big enough for the two of us, unless you roll over and crush me in my sleep.” I chuckle at this.
“Okay, show me the way.” She walked away from me and headed up the path. “How do you afford this?” I ask as I trail behind her into the house.
“When you and your brother have a music career, your mother sending you money, and Kyle paying some bills, it’s easy.” She wasn’t bragging, just saying. “We have parties, well David does, and a lot of people stay over. But now, Kyle lives in a room, Lynzie is on the progress of moving in along with my band.” She opens a room on the second floor and the sweet smell of honey washes over me. there’s one huge bed against the wall and two windows. It was big, about the size of a studio room.
“David has the master suit, so the bathroom is across the hall. If you want any privacy, there’s the studio downstairs.” The sun was just rising, but we are all tired. I go to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. Ellie comes in minutes later in short and one of my shirts. She smiles at me, causing my stomach to flutter. She stood next to me, brushing her teeth. It was quite, but not awkward. After rinsing our mouths out, we walked into the bedroom and flopped on the bed. We laid there staring at the ceiling. I felt a memory coming on. I turned to face her.
“Hey, remember when I took your virginity?” he face flushed in redness.
“Oh god, please Austin, don’t-”
“It started at the age 20!” I yelled in a fake commander voice.
“Oh no.”
“Five years ago……”
Flashback from Ellie’s POV
“Are you sure?" Austin asks, lifting his head from its resting place on my stomach to look me in the eyes. Austin, my on again off again somewhat boyfriend of a little less than a year, was nervous and a tad worried when I told him I wanted him to take my virginity. I had asked him a little over an hour ago, and since then, he had asked me countless times if I was sure.
"I’m positive." I replied with a smile, running my hands through his hair. I knew that he was probably very nervous to take my virginity, not wanting to hurt me in the process but I knew I couldn’t think of anybody better than Austin to do this.
Austin smiled, kissing the exposed skin on my stomach, tickling a bit making me laugh. He grinned at me, slowly coming up my body to finally be face to face to me, pressing his lips to mine in a sweet, passionate kiss. I responded, kissing him back, tangling my hands in his hair.
Austin’s hands traveled up my body, under my shirt, slowly taking it off, only breaking the kiss to get it completely off, throwing it somewhere in his bedroom. He continued to kiss me, putting the love he held for you in the kiss as his hands roamed my body, lightly, tracing my curves, almost memorizing my body with his hands.
His hands came to my shorts, pushing them down as far as he could, letting me do the rest. I took off my shorts, kicking them somewhere before turning my attention to his pajama bottoms, pushing them down far enough so he could kick out of them. As I did that, Austin’s attention turned to my neck, kissing down it, leaving light open mouth kisses.
After a bit more time of light touches, passionate kisses, and a bit of laughing on my part when Austin purposely kissed or tickled my ticklish parts, the two of us were finally naked. Austin lined himself up at your entrance before looking into your eyes. “Ellie, are you positive?" He asked, his nervousness coming out to play. I reached my hand up to sooth his brow before lightly kissing his lips. “More positive than I have been about anything." I say with a smile and a nod.
Austin smiled softly, leaning down to press a soft kiss to my lips before catching my eyes. He held my stare as he slowly pushed himself in all the way before stopping. I bit my lip. The pain was immense but the pleasure that quickly followed was like nothing you ever felt before. I leaned up, pressing a kiss to Austin’s lips, telling him silently to start moving, which he did.
He pulled out before sliding back into me, this time barely any pain was felt. He started a slow and gentle pace, in and out, hitting my spot every time. I let his hands run down my back as his hips kept meeting mine. He never wavered in his pace, keeping it gentle, loving. I could feel my orgasm building up.
“Austin, I’m close.” I got out as I was trying to catch my breath. He leaned down and kissed my lips. “Come with me.” He whispered on my lips and that was my undoing. I came saying his name over and over again as he followed shortly after, spilling into me. He pulled out before coming to her side and pulling my body against his, wrapping his arms tightly around me.
“I love you, Ellie.” He whispered, kissing my ear.
“I love you too, Austin.”
Her face is red. I know she’s thinking about that night.
“That was the night I wanted you to be mine. Not on again off again.” I murmur.
“That was the first time you said you loved me.” I burrowed my eyebrows together.
“You say that as if I don’t love you anymore.” I prop an elbow to look at her.
“Because you don’t.” she bit her lip, tugging at the ring, facing away from me.
“Says who?” I ask, my voice gentle.
“Says, me.” I take two finger and put them under her chin, turning her face to me.
“Hey,” I force her head up, her eyes slowly meet mine, covered in tears. “I never said that.”
“But you thought it.” I shake my head.
“Ellie, I’ve never stopped loving you. You were there for me through my darkest time and I admire you for that. I loved you then and I sure as hell love you now.” Something clicked inside of her because now her eyes are burning with anger.
“Then why the hell did you leave in the first place?!” she snaps. “You wanna know what these tattoos mean? Every single tattoo on my sleeve is directed to you! Each is a memory I think about us or stupid quotes you would tell me. This sleeve is memories from our relationships!’ I gasp as I take a better look at her sleeve. I see a quote that I know all too well.
Let it go & let live again.
Tears pour out of both our eyes.
“I’m sorry okay! That was the year I had to have major heart surgery done! I broke up with you because there was a greater chance of me not surviving! If I was to die, I wouldn’t want you still hung up on me! Two weeks later, I walk up to your house to hear that you and David moved out! I was sad! Shitless scared and in pain. I thought it would be hard to move on! But I did!I got married! I thought I loved her. Turned out Gielle didn’t love me back because she cheated! I longed to see you again! I tried to contact you but I either got voicemail or nothing! I soon gave up looking for you.” Her mouth was opened a bit, taking in every word I was saying.
“But when I heard your voice at Warped, I thought it was fate to have seen you again after two years. I missed you like crazy!” she sat up to face me.
“Well that is nice to know! I don’t care if you’re sick! I don’t care if you’re contagious! I would kiss you even if you were dead! That’s how much I love you! After we broke up I couldn’t keep a decent friend who could deal with my depression, anxiety, the crying at night! You were there when my first love died! You were there when my dad died, but when I needed you most, you weren’t there. And the fact that you left and the fact that no one loved me turned into this-” she laid out her arm. It was covered in thin and deep marks. One however stood out the most. Closer to her palm was a very deep cut.
“I cut too deep and I slit a vein. Austin it was hell not having you here. God you don’t even know.” She mumbled. She looked at me.
"I do know Ellie! dammit!" I yelled.
~Ellie~
"Oh yea? Fucking. Prove it." I said. He looked at me before pressing his lips against mine an d pushing me down on the bed..........
To be continued

Notes

The moment we've been all waiting for......