I rolled over in the cheap motel bed with it squeaking and breaking every time I moved, I stretched out my arms and legs letting a big yawn out while I was at it, I rubbed open my eyes and smiled at the faintness of the hangover I had two days ago.
"Jake" I hollered out, no answer
I sat up and slid on my underwear and walked to the bathroom "Jake, it's not how this works, you weren't supposed to let me stay the night" I sighed, I watched him brushing his teeth in the mirror as a small smile played on his lips,
"I couldn't resist" he laughed spiting the remainder of his tooth paste out of his mouth,
"What ever" I rolled my eyes turning around back to the bed I slid on my bra and last nights clothes with a fresh layer of Jake's deodorant, I walked back to the now empty bathroom and brushed my teeth with one of my toothbrushes that stayed at his, I carefully washed my face; taking off makeup that had smudged during the night and left on what was left.
"I'm leaving now!" I hollered out as I grabbed my bag and put my shoes on, I went to reach for the door handle but instead I got Jake's arm "Jake I need to leave" I sighed
"No you don't" he growled, leaning down to kiss my neck
"Jake, don't" I moaned out, pushing him away "I need to leave"
"I'll call you tonight" he smirked, I shook my head and stormed out of the motel all the way to my car.
I put the car key in the ignition and started it, I let the car heat up for a few minutes before driving back to my little apartment, I locked the door behind me and threw my bag down on the couch, I made my way to the bathroom and turned on the water for a shower, I just feel so dirty. I always let him gain control over me some how, some how I always seem to fall in to his charm whenever I'm near him, but I can't keep doing this, it's not good for me, for my health and mental state.
I jumped out of the shower wrapping a towel around my body and another around my hair, I towel dried my hair then roughly blow dried it so it still would be half natural, I applied some makeup and put on some clean summer clothes before going to see how I looked. I wiped away the steam from the mirror and saw I still looked like shit, I walked out to my draws and picked up a pair of my aviators, I put them on my face then grabbed my bag, made sure I had my keys, smokes, lighter and phone, which I did. I then headed off to a near by coffee shop.
“Hi, can I please get one flat white” I smiled at the lady behind the counter,
“Um, sure” she said staring at the hickey on my neck, I brushed my hair over my neck and reached into my wallet and pulled out the money for her “name?”
“Cara” I smiled, I took a seat at an empty table which was right by the window.
I looked at myself in the reflection of the glass, even with a shower and glass I still looked like shit, I heard a lady clear their voice and I turned around to see an impatient waitress waiting to hand me my flat white.
“Thanks” I choked out, she scoffed at me and walked away, I finished my drink as quick as I could just so I could get away, I didn't even know them and I already felt unwanted.

I walked back and forth in the mall parking lot with a smoke in between my lips, I heard a bunch of guys laughing from behind me, probably some cocky teenage boys...
I threw my cigarette butt on the ground and stomped on it to make sure that it was put out, I still was feeling tensed up so I pulled out the packet from my bag and lit it up, the group of boys were just about to walk past me but stopped right at me,
“Had enough yet love?” One asked me
“One can never have enough of these” I laughed
“It's your funeral” he laughed
“One that shall come soon” I let out a small chuckle to the fact that I wasn't lying
“Well if it's coming soon then you should let me take you out to dinner” he smiled “you never know what it'll bring” I stood there smiling, shaking my head, I looked down at the ground and blew out my smoke, I looked back up at him and saw he was serious,
“Come on kid, what you must be like eighteen” I laughed “thanks for the offer” I leaned up against my car taking another drag of my cigarette, his friends laughed and walked away
“I'm twenty-one actually, names James, so when and where am I picking you up?” He smiled, I laughed and shook my head; why not give him a shot? It'd be better than whoring around for Jake, right?
“Sure why not” I smiled, “310 south june street 6 o'clock don't be late” I laughed turning around to head to my car,
“Actually, fuck dinner lets go clubbing” he said as he knelt down to talk to me through my window which was wound down, “what's your name by the way?”
“Clubbing it is, and Cara-Lee, but you can call me Cara for short” I smiled, he backed away to let me drive off.
-
I took off all my eye makeup and put it on again and winged my eyeliner as well, I reapplied my lipstick and stuck on a whole new outfit, I left my hair the same since I was pleased with it already, I quickly rinsed my mouth with a minty mouthwash and checked myself out one more time. I wasn't dressed up all fancy, or nice or feminine, I would've dressed up up since he said we we're now going clubbing I thought I'd stick to casual since I might get really drunk and flash my legs.
The doorbell rang and I ran over to the peep hole and saw James standing there dressed all casual, as expected, I opened the door and let him in, we had a little chat for a while then decided to hit the clubs in his car, he had brought along some of his mates from earlier and some other chicks, but I didn't mind.
-The next morning-
I woke up with an aching head ache, I rolled over and saw a naked male body that wasn't Jake's lying next to me, I was a bit confused, I never did this for anyone else, only Jake... I leaned over and grabbed my panties which were lying on the ground... right next to a used condom, oh thank god we used protection.
I grabbed my phone and turned on front camera, wow I looked even worse than I did yesterday, I wiped away my makeup which had smudged and checked my messages.
From Jake
Don't bother coming over tonight, I found someone better
I rolled my eyes and put my phone back down, I reach forwards and grabbed my victorias secret bra and hooked it on, I was just about to stand up and grab my bra which was on the other side of the room when a pair of warm arms wrapped around me and pulled me back,
“Don't go” his voice croaked “stay for a little longer”

I sat in the empty booth with tears silently running down my face, I wiped them away and sniffled at how I first met James, he was so lovely, caring, nice, genuine... but something changed, something happened along the way.
“Come on! Dance with us!” Phil screamed as he skipped over to me, “Austin's waiting for you!” I laughed and took down a quick but long skull of the bottle of vodka we had ordered,
“Lets go partaaaaaaay!” I hollered, squirming past Phil and running through to the dance floor to where everyone else was,
I grabbed Austin and turned him around dancing with his, closing my eyes and tried to blur out all of the memories of James and I before something changed, it made me think...
What if that happened with mine and Austin's relationship? We met in a similar way, we had sex on the first night, they both begged me to stay longer, we started seeing each other within a week of knowing each other, we don't know each other entirely that well... maybe if we make it to two years he'll change just like James did.
My throat burned and my mouth filled with a disgusting liquid, I pushed away from Austin and everyone and ran straight to the girls room, I tried to tie all of my hair up as I was running which I managed to succeed at, I ran to the nearest empty cubical and threw myself over it emptying my mouth of vomit, emptying my stomach of all the liquor that was in my system, I kept chucking up, it just kept coming, I didn't even know I had this much to drink. I looked down and saw blood in the toilet bowl surely someone forgot to flush right? Another wave of sickness came upon me and I let out what seemed like a long vomit, I looked down and saw more blood, I wiped under my mouth and looked at my hand blood, why am I spewing up blood? I wiped my mouth with some toilet paper and flushed it down the toilet, I walked over the the mirror and wiped my face,
“Are you okay?” A brunette beside me asked
“Just dandy” I smiled she smiled back and turned around to leave, I turned back and adjusted myself, before the back of my throat had that itch, the want, that need to cough, I started coughing like mad, I bent over holding on to the sides of the counter top still coughing, my eyes were squeezed shut with tears running down my face, I'm pretty sure I was spitting everywhere as well, but that didn't concern me. I opened my eyes and wiped the spit off of my mouth, I looked in the mirror and saw it was blood, I looked down at the floor and saw I had coughed up blood. But why? Why was I coughing up blood, I hadn't coughed up blood since my teenage years when I had bulimia, I cleaned myself up again and headed out with my head down, I felt a pair of muscular arms grab onto my hand, I looked up and met eyes with Austin.
“Are you okay?” He shouted over the music,
“Just feeling sick, can we go now?” He nodded and notified the guys that we were going back to mine.
I wandered down to my bedroom and just collapsed on my bed, Austin walked over and sat next to me pulling me on his lap,
“You okay?” He asked, pushing my hair out of my face, I nodded, “want me to stay the night?”
“Yes please” I whispered, he smiled and stood up taking off his singlet, jeans and shoes, leaving him only in his boxers and socks “and me” I laughed a bit, he shook his head and walked over to me and slid off my cheetah print vans, my jeans and then my shirt, he unhooked my bra and left me there,
“Austiiiiiiiiin” I said dragging his name out
“Yes?” He laughed walking back over to me
“I need a shirt”
“No you don't” he laughed scooping me up and getting in bed with me still in his arms, “you have me” I leaned up and kissed him then wriggled down so I could snuggle in his chest
“Goodnight boyfriend” I laughed
“Goodnight girlfriend” he laughed leaning down to kiss my head, I closed my eyes and fell into a deep intoxicated sleep.

I came home from work early to surprise James, I walked up to our bedroom and found him rummaging through my draws,
“What the fuck are you doing?” I yelled walking over to him throwing all my things back in my draws and slamming them shut “I don't go through your shit so don't go through mine!” I cried out
“I wouldn't have to if you were open to me! What the fuck is this? Huh! Can you please tell me what you are doing with pregnancy tests in your draws!” He screamed in my face
“Oh because I totally didn't have a pregnancy scare last week” I said with sarcasm dripping from my voice
“Really? We didn't even have sex last week!” He laughed “you're fucking cheating on me, aren't you?”
“What?” I gasped in disbelief “I would never ever do such a thing!” I said in my defense “yeah maybe we didn't have sex last week but what about the week before that? And the one before that? Huh James? We had sex almost every day and night because you always wanted to have sex!”
“Don't fucking tell me I'm wrong” he clenched his teeth and took a step closer to me
“Yeah, and what are you going to do about it James? What are you fucking going to do about it!” I screamed, I stood there and laughed in his face “if anything you're the one cheating” he took another step closer and without warning he brought his fist to my face, sending a sharp pain throughout my face, he hit me again and this time I fell to the floor.
“J-James?” I pleaded looking up at him with tears forcing their way out
“I-I'm so sorry!” He said getting down on his knees and pulling me closer, I hesitated to go into his embrace at first “it's okay, I won't hurt you again, I promise” he reassured me.

A promise full of shit that is.

Notes

Hehe, SURPRISE! UPDATED TWO STORIES IN ONE DAY!
Opps hehe, I'm already in New Zealands mental health system.
Sorry I haven't updated in well over two weeks, shits just been really tough, oh well, I'm getting help now... Enjoy :)

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