The sound of cheering woke me up with a start and I rolled over and poked my head out of my bunk to see what all the ruckus was about. The guys were all in the front lounge watching The Ravens’ game, paying no attention to me. I pushed the curtain back, climbed out, pushed my hair out of my face, and stretched. It was a little after one; I had been out late the night before with Austin.

Yawning, I made my way up to the front and poured myself a bowl of cereal and took a seat at the little table.

“Is this what you’re going to do all day?” I asked watching as they all stared at the TVs with anticipation. “Hello?”

“Hi, Raegan…” Jack mumbled not taking his eyes from the screen once.

“I’ll take that as a yes…” I mumbled, rolling my eyes and pulling out my phone. I had a text from
Charlotte letting me know she missed me already, hoped I was having fun, and wanted to come out soon. I made a mental note to call her later. I had one other text from Austin saying he was at a signing from 11-1:30 today, but he was grilling later that night if I wanted to stop by. I responded, telling him to text me once he was back and I would definitely stop by.

Moments later I got an, “Okay (:,” from him.

Satisfied, I rinsed out my bowl and dressed for the day. I decided I’d go sit in the sun with my book for a bit and try and get somewhat of a tan. As I was making myself comfortable, I got another text from Austin. This time it was a video message. I hit play. He was laughing, filming himself. He moved the camera so that he could film the rest of the band and about 250 kids in line waiting to meet them.

At his direction, they all yelled,“1…2…3…HI RAEGAN!”

Smiling I texted him back, “You’re crazy! Have fun, text me later!”

I sent the text and decided it was better to call Char now while I still remembered then forget later on.

“Hi! Did you get my text earlier?” She sounded more than cheery when she answered.

“I did! That’s why I’m calling! I miss you too, Char!”

“How’s everything going out there? Is it crazy?”

“You have no idea. The crowds everyday are unbelievable. I’ve met some really cool people too.”

“Any cute boys?...” She asked letting her smirk change her tone of voice.

“Maybe…”

“Really?!”

“Well, like he’s cute and he’s got an awesome personality but we’ve only known each other for like two days. So it’s not like it’s anything really.”

“Still!” She said all giddy with the thought I was talking to a guy again. “Anything’s better then dickfuck.”

“Can you not bring him up?” I asked, feeling my stomach turn into knots at just the thought of him.

“Sorry. So what’s this new guys name?!”

“Austin.”

“Can I meet him when I come out?!”

“Of course!” I laughed.

“Where are you the 30th?”

“Hang on,” I placed her on speaker and went into my phone’s calendar to check. “We’ll be in San Antonio on the 30th.”

“I’ll meet you there then, yeah?”

“Yes!” I said suddenly excited I’d finally have a girl to hang out with again.

She hung up with promises to get a flight figured out and bags packed. I felt suddenly relieved that she was going to be able to make it out. I couldn’t wait to show her my current lifestyle.

The afternoon seemed to drag by slowly with the warm sun beating down on my skin, but I was completely content with my lawn chair and novel placed behind the bus. I tried not to get anxious waiting for Austin’s text, but I just couldn’t help it. It was like I had known him my entire life. The silences were never awkward and the laughter flowed instinctively.

His text came a little around 5:45, letting me know to head over whenever. I made sure I looked decent and cleaned up my bunk a little bit. I grabbed my purple guitar and headed towards their bus.

They were playing music as I came around the other side of the bus. Austin was standing by a tiny grill dancing along to whatever he was listening to; spatula in his right hand, a can of Monster in left.

He spun around dancing and a smile spread across his face when he saw me.

“HI!” He announced taking a sip of his drink.

“Hi.” I said giggling and taking a seat in one of the chairs and placing my guitar down. “How was the signing?”

“So rad!” He said adjusting his sunglasses on his face. “I got so many letters today! And presents! And hugs! The fans are the best! How was your day?”

“I slept in, and then I got some reading done.”

He nodded as he turned back to the grill.

“What are you making?” I asked walking over to stand next to him and get a better look.

“My specialty steak tips and shrimp.”

“Oh really?”

“Are you going to have some?”

“I don’t like shrimp. But I’ll eat the steak.”

“WHAT?!” He screamed turning to face me. “Who doesn’t like shrimp?!”

“I don’t like anything the swims.”

“Are you kidding me?! It’s so good! Why are we even friends?!”

“Hey!”

“You don’t like seafood!” He tried to justify.

I crossed my arms across my chest and gave him a pout. He retaliated with another of his now infamous dazzling smiles.

“I’m kidding.”

I returned him a smile of my own and stuck my tongue out at him.

“Here…” Austin said as he took a steal tip off the grill and cut it open on a plate. He then stabbed the bite sized morsel with his fork and handed it to me.

I bit it off the fork and felt my eyes light up as my taste buds exploded into a happy frenzy.

“Mmm!” I said chewing and watching his brown eyes fill with pride. “That’s so yummy!”

“You like it?” He asked pulling the rest of the food off the grill.

“Yes! Austin, I had no idea you could cook!”

“My dad was always cooking when I was a kid and I always wanted to help.” He shrugged. “Guess I picked up a few things.” He made a plate for each of us, handed me mine, and took a seat next to me.

We both ate, the silence between us only being broken by the sounds of utensils scraping on the plastic of the plates.

“When my dad comes to visit…you’ll have to try his steak. It’s even better.”

I glanced up at him at the mention of meeting his father. He was hungrily eating his food, not giving me a bit of attention. I couldn’t help but notice how incredibly adorable he looked just then. Feeling my gaze, he looked up at me with a smirk.

“Why’d you bring the guitar?” He asked suddenly turning back to his food and pulling my attention away from the butterflies that were swirling in my stomach.

“I don’t like going many places without it.” I confessed.

“Can I see it?” he asked with a smile as he placed his now empty plate on the little plastic table in front of him.

I leaned down and picked up the guitar by the neck, passing it to him. He promptly flipped it upside
down and positioned his fingers and began playing a tune I had never heard.

“You’re left handed…” it slipped out before I could have even thought about it. I found myself wondering if this was how Cady felt every time she word vomited in from of Aaron Samuels in Mean Girls. My eyes went wide, mentally cursing myself for looking like a fool in front of him.
He chuckled as his eyes came up to meet mine in a sparkling standoff, “Yeah.”

“Oh god…” We both turned to see Alan standing there with a look of shock on his face. “Who gave you a guitar?”

“Dude, fuck you!” Austin chuckled handing me the guitar. “I’m not that bad!”

“You’re not that good either…” Alan mumbled taking a seat in one of the chairs.

“What’s your plan for tonight?” Austin asked Alan, who was now leaning back in his chair and tilting his face towards the early evening sun.

“Probably going to watch (500) Days of Summer in the back lounge…”

“I fucking love that movie!” I exclaimed excitedly, completely forgetting I had been about to play a song.

“You wanna watch with me?!” Alan asked sitting up straight just as excited I was.

“Yes!” I said smiling brightly.

“Aust, I had no idea you made such an awesome friend!” Alan said happily making me laugh.

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you girls alone tonight…” Austin said pulling out his phone and scrolling through it.

“You’re not going to watch with us?” I asked turning to him and pouting. Alan took the hint and started pouting too.

“Yeah man, we haven’t hung out in like so long…”

“Okay!” Austin said laughing. “I’ll watch it with you guys.”

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
;&&&&&

July 17, 2012 – Chula Vista, California

I was side-stage, watching a band of faceless musicians playing their hearts out to their fans. Slowly, everything started melting. The band became more recognizable. The lead singer started making his way towards me as the song ended. He was tall, lean, covered in tattoos. He was standing right in front of me, covered in sweat and breathing heavy, when I realized it was Austin. It was Of Mice & Men who was playing.

His hand reached out, waiting patiently to take mine. My eyes darted from his to his outreached hand.

“C’mon…” He breathed.

I took it, unsure of what exactly this meant. He pulled me towards the middle of the stage. Alan and the guys were all still playing, the fans still screaming madly. He stopped short, his back to me. I took a moment to glance out over the crowd and see what it looked like every day from their point of view. Certainly different from the All Time Low fans stage.

He turned, eyes burning with hunger, dropping his microphone. His lips crashed down onto mine and the sounds of the crowd and band were suddenly squashed. Everything around us melted into black nothingness. His lips were still dancing against mine. Just like that night in the bathroom.

When he finally pulled away, we were standing in a familiar apartment. My heart suddenly went to my throat as Austin’s face changed into someone else’s; someone I hoped I’d never see again.

“You can’t escape me Rae….you are mine…” He said smiling devilishly.

I sat up so quickly, I bashed my head off of the bunk above me.

“FUCK.” I called out holding my head as I threw the blankets off of me.

My body was covered in sweat, but I was so cold.

“Rae?” Jack’s voice called out and a moment later my curtain pulled back to reveal his concerned face. “You okay?”

“Yeah…” I mumbled still rubbing my head and climbing out of the bunk. “Bad dream…”

“Did you hit your fucking head?” He asked laughing a little.

“Yeah, asshole.”

He went to the freezer and pulled out a bottle of vodka. “Put this on it.”

“You’re serious…”

“Yeah, we don’t have anything else…” He said laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Taking the bottle, I plopped down on one of the couches and placed glass to my head. Jack began eating whatever had been left out, nosily crunching on chips. Alex arrived at that second and laughed hysterically as soon as he saw me.

“What the fuck!”

“She hit her head and I didn’t have anything.” Jack explained laughing too as food fell out of his mouth.

“Ha, ha, ha…” I said rolling my eyes at the two of them and realizing a man with a camera was following behind Alex. Suddenly horrified I was being filmed, I dropped the bottle as quickly as possible.

“This is Raegan,” Alex said to the camera. “She’s turned into an alcoholic apparently. Rae, we play in two hours, try and sober up.”

“I’ll try asshole.” I mumbled as the camera followed him and Jack through the bus.