The Chula Vista and Phoenix shows had both been amazing in their own rights. We had just arrived in Las Cruces, Mexico this morning. I was beginning to understand why they guys always complained about touring. It was really rough at times. I was glad I had found sleeping on the bus easy enough. I had spent a lot of time with Austin yesterday. I already considered him a close friend. I know that seems ridiculous being that we had only really known each other for such a short amount of time, but we really bonded. It was strange. I had never met someone like him before. It was so fast paced and a blur and I loved every single second of it.

And it didn’t help at all I was secretly nursing the biggest crush on him ever. He was just way too adorable to not crush on. And the way he kissed me that one night….

We had never spoken of the kiss. He acted like it never happened, like there had never been a spark between us. But I knew he had felt it, burning red inside of him, just like I had that night. And I knew he still felt it every time I was near him. Or maybe the kiss had come from his idea that he’d never see me again. Maybe that was it. All he had wanted was something passionate with a girl he thought he’d never have to see again. When that didn’t happen, welcome to friendzonedville…population: me.

At least my bunk was nice; it was like my own little coffin. I could disappear from the world in here, buried under my blankets, only emerging when I had hit that god forsaken post limit on tumblr, which had just happened to me.

Rolling my eyes, I sat up a little ways, careful to not hit my head again. I went back to the first page of my dash and sat trying to think of something to do now. I really wasn’t feeling having to make actual human contact yet. I typed in Austin’s name in the search bar to look up his tag, figuring it’d be interesting to see what his fans thought of him.

Pictures of all kinds came up, most of them he looked really attractive in, others not so much, but they were hilarious. There were stories about how he had saved people’s lives or what happened when people met him. Some of them brought tears to my eyes. These kids loved him so much. I had never seen this kind of relationship play out between an artist and fans before. It was amazing and inspiring.

A picture caught my eye, and made my heart sink a little bit. There was me. Standing next to Austin. Smiling stupidly at something he had just said. A fan had taken this yesterday when we were outside the Glamour Kills tent.

“Who is this girl?” The first comment read.

“Raegan Jones, she’s friends with Jack and Alex”

“Are these two like dating?”

“I thought she was with Alex….awkward…”

“Hopefully not! Aus10 is MINE!!!!”

“I hope so!! I ship these two SO. HARD.”

“Raestin 5ever!!”

“Oh dear god…” I mumbled to myself in semi horror. They were shipping us. We had a ship name. Never in my life did I ever think I would get shipped with anyone on tumblr and here it was right in front of me.

Scrolling back to the top, I type “Raestin” into the search bar and hit enter. The first thing was the picture I had just been looking at. I scrolled down seeing numerous text posts wondering who I was, if Austin and I were really dating, support, hate; you name it and it was there.

There was another picture that Austin had taken of us the other day in the back lounge. Alan was laying on one couch, Austin and I somewhat cuddled up on the other. He had put it on Instagram with a caption about watching (500) Days of Summer with his best friends.

Fans were arguing over whether we were best friends or secretly dating all over the post. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was enough to have this turmoil in my own head, never mind in the fans heads as well. I shut my laptop and climbed out of bed.

Alex was sitting in the front lounge typing away on his laptop, paying me absolutely no attention as I picked up my phone up off the counter and scrolled through it.

“Hey, dickhead!” I greeted him running my hands through his perfectly straightened hair.

“Hey, shitass.” He said sending me a smile as he fixed his hair. “You slept late.”

“I was up, but I was on tumblr.” I said opening up Twitter. “What are you doing?”

“Sending emails…” He said with a sigh, stretching his arms up over his head.

@austincarlile: Hey New Mexico, I’m at our Merch tent taking photos!! I’ll be here for 20 mins ;)

Smiling to myself, I jumped up and ran to change quickly. I grabbed my lanyard and made my way back towards Alex.

“What time’s set?”

“3:45,” He said not even glancing up from the screen.

I bounded down the bus steps and out into the bright New Mexico sunshine. It was hot as hell out and I instantly regretted not bringing water with me. I walked through the buses and made my way into the actual venue which was so loaded with kids it was unbelievable. I banged a left and headed towards the tents, smiling at the thought of surprising Austin.

“Oh. My. God. Raegan Jones!”

Upon hearing my name I stopped and turned. Three girls were standing there in front of me, eyes wide with wonder and amazement.

“Hey…” I said awkwardly waving at them. “You know who I am?”

“Of course!” One of them said, she looked like she was almost on the verge of tears.

“Will you sign this for me?” Another asked thrusting a t-shirt and marker at me.

“Of course!” I said trying to play it off like I knew what I was doing, even though I totally didn’t. I signed her shirt, and her friends stuff and took pictures with each of them.

“I just can’t believe we’re meeting you right now!” The first one said again.

“I can’t believe you guys know who I am!” I admitted. “Thank you so much, it’s so flattering.”

They parted ways with me, thanking me a million times for being so nice and headed towards the main stage where Sleeping with Sirens was starting their set.

“That was fucked…” I mumbled to myself as I carried on my way still in shock those girls had been actual fans of mine. I hadn’t even known I’d had fans, let alone big enough ones to want pictures and autographs.

I could see Austin standing and smiling with a crowd of kids in front of him under the Of Mice tent. I couldn’t believe how happy and content he looked. I made my way over and smiled at the merch girl, Tiffany I think her name was. We had met a few nights back at a party.

“Austin!” She called getting his attention for a moment. His eyes rested on her first until she nodded in my direction and then they landed on me.

A huge smile spread across his face as he called out, “Rae!”

“Hi!” I said coming around through the back and under the tent.

“What are you doing here?” He asked turning and taking a picture with a girl who was practically in tears. He gave her a big hug and thanked her before smiling at me for an answer.

“I saw your tweet.” I explained.

“Let’s do lunch after this?” He asked.

“Sure!” I responded happily. “I just have to be back by like 3 so I can get ready for set.”

“You can help me organize some of this stuff while you wait if you want.” Tiffany offered.

“I’d love to!” I said smiling.

At that moment I didn’t think life could get any better.