"Austin! Austin stop it!" I giggled as he tickled my sides with his tattooed hands.

"No! Not until you say it!" He smiled down at me with a mischievous grin.

"Never!"

"Then it looks like I'm never stopping!" He tickled me even more and I started screaming.

"Okay okay! I'll say it!" I laughed.

"I don't hear you!"

"I, Lillian Briello, love Austin Carlile more then anyone else in the world. Ever." I smiled up at him.

"Promise?" He looked down at me with mock seriousness.

"I promise"

"Now seal it with a kisssss"

"Fine, fine" I giggled and leaned up, pressing my soft lips to his slightly chapped ones. I loved those lips no matter what. My boyfriend had just gotten back from his tour, making his first stop my apartment.

My body shot up out of my bed, my chest heaving for air. I was acting like I had a nightmare. This wasn't the first time I had that dream, I'd been having it almost every day since that night. Just imagine, having a dream almost seventeen times, and not talking to the person it was about once.

"What the fuck are you doing?" James growled as he woke up.

"N-nothing. Just getting up for work." I threw my legs out of the bed and walked to the bathroom to take a shower.

When I got out, I let my hair dry naturally since it would just be messed with at the shoot anyway. I threw on the outfit I dug out of my closet and headed for my car. I put my Charger in park and walked towards the building where the photo shoot was being held. I barely even knew what clothing company this was, but I knew it had something to do with a band that Austin had toured with a couple times in the past.

"Are you Lillian?" A heavily tattooed man questioned after I walked through the door and into the studio.

"I am." I smiled and held out my hand. The man took it and shook it lightly.

"Tony, I'm the, uhm, designer? I guess." He fumbled over his words as he stared at me.

"Well, I'm the model" I laughed. Tony led me to another room that had different outfits already set up for me.

"Just change into that one first" He pointed to the clothing hanging on the far left of the rack. "Then come out and we'll start.

~

"So how do you know Austin?" Tony asked as we walked out to our cars. I was dreading this conversation the entire time. It turns out that Tony was in the band that Austin had toured with last summer.

"Oh, I met him at a wal-mart two years ago. He's my best friend." I smiled, remembering exactly how that day went.

"A wal-mart?" Tony laughed.

"Yeah, it was kind of awkward. We both went in to buy the same Slipknot CD and there was only one left." I looked down at the time on my phone. 4:57. "Shit! I'm gonna be late! My boyfriend is gonna kill me." I scrambled into the car, rolling down the window after starting it.

"You have my number right?" Tony smiled down at me.

"I do. I'll text you during the week so we can geek out and watch Star Wars" I laughed towards the end. Tony was a cool guy.

"And you'll listen to my band!" He gave a cute little stomp to be dramatic.

"Pierce the Veil. I won't forget. Bye Tony." I waved and back out of my spot to head home.

I was half way home when Austin's ringtone blasted from my phone next to me. After connecting it to the Bluetooth in my car, I decided to answer his call.

"Hello?"

"Lily?" His voice was quiet, like he had been crying.

"Austin, what's wrong?" I said, immediately worried. The way I felt about Austin hadn't changed a bit since that night. Well, it had, but not the way I wanted it to.

"Lil, you need to come over. I don't want to tell you this over the phone." He sighed.

"Alright I'm on my way" I pressed end and pressed my foot onto the gas pedal harder, sending me flying down the highway. I arrived at Austin's house in record time, climbing out of my car and knocking on the door as soon as I could reach it.

"Lily" Austin said softly after he opened the door.

"Hey"

"Come in."

I followed him through the doorway and into the living room where we sat in silence for a few minutes. He wouldn't speak on his own unless he was pushed. I knew that.

"Austin..."

"I'm getting surgery Lil. It didn't get better. It's gotten worse. I have it scheduled for next week." He stared at me with puffy red eyes. I was speechless. I felt my own tears started to fall from my eyes slowly.

"Don't cry. Please don't cry." His voice cracked at the end. Austin joined me on the couch I was sitting on and wrapped his arms around me. "Don't cry Lily please." He begged. He was crying too.

"Austin I'm so scared." I sobbed, causing my makeup from the shoot to flow down my face with my tears.

"I need you to be brave." He cupped my face in his hands as I watched tears streaming down his own. "Be brave for me Lillian because I'm fucking terrified."

"Austin I'm so sor-"

"No. Do NOT apologize. It wasn't your fault, I shouldn't have even-" I stopped him from talking by covering his lips with my own.

"I'm sorry I did that to you. I'm so sorry Austin. I love you." I whispered.

"What about James?" He looked shocked. Like he couldn't understand what just happened.

"He's not worth shit." I smiled.

Austin pulled my face to his to crash his lips on mine. His hands traveled to him sides and picked me up, placing me on his lap. I kissed the corner of his mouth, then his jawline, then down to his neck. When I got to his neck, i sucked and bit on it lightly, earning a groan from him.

"Shit..." He breathed as his hands squeezed my bottom.

Austin stood up and laid me down on the couch, rubbing me through my jeans. A quiet moan escaped from my mouth and into his mouth, which turned up into a smirk. His fingers quickly unbuttoned my jeans and he slipped his hands in beneath my panties. He slipped a finger into me and rubbed over my clit with his thumb.

"Austin!"

"Shhh" He laughed against my neck. He moved his hand faster and I gripped onto his shirt.

The dog started barking and we both froze. We knew exactly what it mean. Gielle was home. Austin jumped up and ran into the kitchen while I zipped and buttoned my jeans. Gielle walked into the house with a few shopping bags in her hands.

"Hey Lillian!" She beamed.

"Hey Gi" I smiled back.

"Did he tell you?" She said quietly. I just nodded. "Well I'm gonna go put these upstairs. Be right back!"

"Actually I'll see you later, I've gotta go home real quick" I said.

"Alright bye Lillian!" She called from upstairs.

"Lil, come help me with this real quick." Austin yelled from the kitchen. I stood up and walked to where he was, my heels clicking against the wooden floors as I did.

"What'd you need boo?" I smiled as I turned the corner into the kitchen.

"Nothing" He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. Austin planted little kisses on my cheeks, getting nearer to my lips with each one until he finally pressed his lips to mine.

"Stop it" I giggled.

"I just can't help myself!" He laughed kissing me again.

"Austin!" I screamed. "I have to go!"

"Are you sureeee?" He whined.

"Yes I'm sureeee" I mimicked him.

"Fine." He grunted before giving me another kiss. "I love you Lillian."

"I love you too Austin." I started to walk away and he smacked my butt. Hard. "Ow!" I screamed laughing a little. "Behave yourself!" I said quietly while I motioned towards the ceiling.

"Yeah yeah get outta here!" He shouted as I walked out the front door.

~

"James! I'm home!" I yelled into my apartment.

"Kitchen." He slurred. No, not now. Please God, don't let this happen to me tonight.

"Hey" I said sheepishly as I walked through the threshold.

"Where were you?" He spat getting closer to me.

"I had a shoot, then I went to see Austin for a little while."

"You know I don't like it when you go over there." His fingers grazed over my cheek before he grabbed onto my jaw violently, squeezing it.

"James please you're hurting me." I squeaked.

"Am I?" He brought his face close to mine and I could smell the alcohol on him.

"Baby please..." I begged.

"Shut up" The hand he had on my jaw traveled to my neck, squeezing there while the other hand held onto my wrist.

"J-James stop-" I choked. " I can't-"

"Shhhh" He whispered into my ear. "Bedroom. Now." He released my neck and walked off towards the bedroom, leaving me leaning against the counter gasping for air while I rubbed my neck. "Lillian!" His voice boomed through the apartment.

"Coming!" I answered. I knew better then to not listen to him.

Notes

petition for them to put a Shayley Bourget option on the homepage