A Secret Love- Chris motionless and Ricky Horror slash

The countdown started and I started to feel my fingertips classically itching. I really had to love the way my body would always react to our tour manager’s countdown. I’d be walking on that stage second to last, right after Angelo as pre-determined.

“Show time!” the manager hopped off the stage and allowed us room to march down it. The smooth flowing music continued playing, calming down my quickening heartbeat.

Excitement and adrenaline hit my veins like a crescendo as I anticipated the absolute thrill our show was bound to bring. I could tell that the crowd would be amazing and pumped up. Who wouldn’t be? All of Chris’s speeches were badass and worked everyone up into a fangirling or fanboying frenzy.

The other members made their way on stage and everyone cheered like their lives depended on it. I could hear a distant chanting of “motionless in white” carry its way from the back. I clenched my fists, involuntarily joining in with their excitement; I couldn’t wait to pick up my guitar. I did just that when it got to my turn.

Surprisingly the cheering got louder when I walked on, but only to greater and mostly effeminate heights when Chris walked on. Once I was strapped on I was good to go and sent a thumbs up to the rest of the group. The music suddenly darkened as Ghost strummed a chord that set the crowds heart on fire.

“We are motionless in white! And this song is called puppets!”

Chris was never one to kill a build-up. All of us on stage started bouncing together and doing our thing immediately. This was our style. No cheap ‘hellos’ and ‘how are you all today’s. My eyes wandered to Chris’s form ahead of me. He worked the stage like a pro, making sure he covered all the angles so every single person in the crowd got a good dose of his perfect facial expressions.

It was his entire fault that my mind seemed to wander throughout the first half of our slot. I had the tiniest crush on Chris. It was just something I had. I was so sure nothing could or would happen between us because he was one of the manliest dudes I had ever met. But when he told us back stage that he kissed a dude at that party we went to and actually wasn’t grossed out threw me a little off balance.

Not just because of the kiss, but because Chris had told us that he wouldn’t have turned the dude down if he asked him for sex. I remember his eyes zoning in on me to see my reaction. I don’t remember how I reacted.

This, of course, got me in a real mess. I was the only gay guy in the band and I had told Chris one night that I had a crush on him. I thought it was all cool, because he is one of the coolest and non-judgmental guys I knew. We always confided in each other about everything. He and I had so many similarities and I was drawn like gravity to him, so naturally we were always together. He even started dragging me to all the interviews he had to do and photo-shoots. No one else: only me.

I had to tell him I had a crush on him for the pure and sole reason of getting it off my chest. Also, Balz caught me mumbling his name in my sleep, so I had to make things less awkward by being cool and open about it.

I brought my mouth to the microphone as Chris went upstage to greet a bottle of water. He would need it because he’d be singing one of our new songs from our unreleased album next. He tended to get a little bit nervous about that one because he always liked to make a good impression on virgin ears; another thing that made him different from other singers. He actually gave a fuck about our fans and didn’t just view them as stepping stones to ‘make it’ to fame.

I sang my words breathily. I wasn’t particularly used to being the one to continuously sing the backing vocals. Chris knew this and had taken it upon himself to sing almost entirely by himself. But for a few songs I helped out in the small places where I could.

“If all these words you speak of meant a thing, I’d take back all the lies…” I almost gasped when I felt a long hot tongue literally lick most of my face. I growled.

“against you that I sing!”

Chris took my microphone, even though he had his own, and continued the chorus from where I left off. I was in such a daze my hands were moving without any input from my brain at all.

Chris…had just licked my face. And the bastard was literally laughing is ass off into the song. His arm draped loosely over my shoulders as we finished off the song we always played at all of our concerts. It was almost scary how Chris never let the crowd down with this one. We played it so many times I was pretty sure it was over played. I know it wasn’t the same for Chris, because this was the one where he felt he could actually talk to the crowd through singing.

The song ended, Chris rustled my already wind swept hair like I was a little kid. I combed my fingers through it and glared up at him. That was another reason, however, why I fell for Chris. He would always flirt with me or tease me. It was probably because he knew I was into guys. What he didn’t know was that I had an almost unhealthy addiction for him in particular. What he told us back stage lit the unlighted candle in my heart. Maybe…

The concert ended and I whipped the sweat off my brow. Chris pulled himself away from the crowd who were clawing at him more than usual. Maybe it had something to do with his literally painted on shirt for today.

It was rare to get Chris to do a whole concert shirtless. He had a perfect body, and to be honest his get up today had my inner self screaming murder at those girls who were literally trying to eat him.

Chris was one of those vocalists I wish were around when I was younger and into watching gigs and stuff. He was never afraid to get close or stop and chat for a while. He gave so much of himself to all his fans. No matter how annoying the rest of the band found them. He was always the last man standing in those situations. I was a fan of everything that was him.

“Chicken wings!” Angelo cried. Balz took his order down. “What do you want wiener boy?”

I know I blushed and I hated the way I always would. I bloody hated that name and it would never cease to piss me off when heard it. “Fuck off. I’m not hungry.”

Everyone had their orders taken except for Chris, who was taking his time talking to the hundreds of fans outside. We all tried to stay but after a whole hour it got a bit too much. Feeling guilty about leaving him alone, I grabbed Chris’s jacket and went outside to give it to him. Being shirtless at this time, even after the brutal workout we just had, would get him sick.

I found him after a short walk, sitting on the abandoned stage in front of a crowd of fans. They were all taking it in turns to get a picture with him. When I arrived they all cheered and asked to get pictures of me also. I sighed, and allowed it.

“That’s enough guys, we have to go back to the RV. We have a show in Los Angelis and Chris is driving,” I called, pushing my way through the small crown and pulling at Chris’s leg in a silent plea.

“Translation, I’m sorry guys but it looks like Ricky wants me all to himself.” He laughed, jumping off the stage and running a hand through his matted locks. I couldn’t help but watch with my mouth slightly open at his effortless elegance. I bit my tongue to keep myself from saying anything stupid in return.

“Thank you so much Chris! You’re so awesome! We will keep supporting you no matter what you do! Come back to North Carolina soon!” A girl cried from the front of the crowd. She looked really cold and was clutching herself like her life depended on it. I didn’t feel sorry for her; she was far too scantily dressed for me to pity her discomfort.

“Are you that cold? Oh my goodness, what happened to your shirt?” The guy next to her asked.

“Totally had this ripped up by someone and I was too into the music to care at the time aha,” she stuttered nervously.

I handed Chris his jacket, and he automatically redirected my hand towards her. “Take this,” I said, giving Chris a look. He’d only just had this sent to him and he’d spent ages putting badges on it.

The girl literally cried right in front of me. “Um, its Chris’s by the way….”

“Thank you guys so much!”

“She was cold!” Chris explained to me as we walked back to the RV. I sighed.

“Yeah, but she’s gonna get mauled alive by the rest of the girls in that crowd dude. Didn’t you think of that?”

“I didn’t think properly I guess. Oh well, all we can do is pray…” He looked at me sideways and we both burst into laughter.

“You looked seriously hot today by the way. You should do the rest of the tour in this get up.” I laughed, but stopped suddenly when I remembered that talking to Chris wouldn’t be the same anymore.

“You think I look hot?” Chris smirked, nudging my sides.

I couldn’t afford to stutter. So what if he was bi or whatever. He was still Chris. I wasn’t going to watch what I said around him. “Of course I do. It’s just a fact isn’t it? Quote from that interview earlier “How are you so fucking sexy?”

We both laughed and I applauded myself for getting out of that almost uncomfortable situation.

“It must be my six pack, yep- it’s really obvious too isn’t it?” He laughed, clutching my hand and rubbing it over his torso. I forced a laugh but I was too breathless to do it properly. Instead it came out as a weak whimper.

I slapped myself inwardly as we arrived back at the van. I quickly reached for the knob but Chris clamped his hand over mine, stopping me from entering.

“One second. I wanna do something before we go back in,” he whispered. I shuddered hard.

He pulled me over to the back of the van where our swing bench was, and guided me to sit. I sat and looked up to see him towering over me. Chris always made me feel short, but right now I had never felt so small.

“You not gonna si-?”

“Ricky…”I felt cool hands trace my jaw. I froze. All I could do was helplessly look into his eyes as he studied me. I didn’t know what I looked like right then to him and I felt a gust of self-consciousness hit me hard. I didn’t want him to see the longing in my eyes…but I really couldn’t help but turn into a puddle of mush under his analytical gaze.

“You told me you liked me a couple of months back. Have you…you know…do you still…” he trailed off, stroking my jaw with his thumb. I almost purred and automatically answered his question. I was so relaxed. I felt, in that moment, that I could tell him anything. Yes I liked him still and I trusted that he wouldn’t be a jerk about it.

“How comes you weren’t upset at me for not giving you a reply?”he asked, biting his lip and letting go of me.

I remained in a thoughtful silence for a minute, looking down at the ground. I heard him move and the next thing I knew was that he was crouched down in front of my face. I stared blankly at him, not sure how to answer. I felt his large hands lightly rest on my thighs.

“Relax, you don’t have to answer me. I never answered you that time. Probably because I didn’t think the affection I felt towards you was beyond bromance…” he trailed off again.

My legs involuntary started twitching and I knew Chris could feel it too. Maybe that’s why he started rubbing my thighs. I felt so heated that my lips zipped; I just couldn’t say anything. It was as if I was waiting for him to say something I knew would probably never be said to me.

“Truth or dare?!” He suddenly snapped his head up. I had a heart attack.

“Um…dare,” I croaked, finally emerging out of my funk. “What the hell Chris?”

“Ricky, I dare you…” he smiled, standing up and stretching a little. I glanced down to see a few patches of paint from his arms on my jeans. I sighed and looked back at him to see him winking. “to kiss me.”

“What! Why?” I squealed, embarrassed all of a sudden. Was he joking around?! “You think my feelings are a joke!?” I growled, clutching my knees. I didn’t understand anything, Chris was really getting under my skin.

“It’s a dare…” he whispered. I blushed instantly. Everything around me seemed to have blurred away, and upon shaking my head to clear it I heard voices.

“Yo Chris? That you out there man?” Balz’s voice sounded from inside the van.

“Lets go back inside,” I said, standing shakily and running a hand through my hair. Chris, however, caught my arm and slowly pressed me against his body. I was so flustered my hands went back to shaking.

“Kiss me,” Chris’s expression sent chemicals racing through my veins that made me struggle to disobey him any longer. He wanted me to kiss him. His sinfully gorgeous mouth was right there.

It was almost weird how I came into sudden realisation that I had wanted this for so long that it hurt. I leaned up and motioned for him to bend down so I could reach his face. When he obliged me I ran my fingers through his hair, brushing it out of the way and latching onto his lips without delay.

I was greeted with soft warm lips that rubbed over mine. Our lip piercings brushed against each other’s as I opened my mouth, begging to taste his sweetness. My wish came true and I was pretty sure I was in heaven. I could feel his hands kneading my lower back in a way that had my knees almost knocking. All I could feel was Chris’s insanely skilful tongue, his body flush against mine and my life coming to an end. My heart was racing so much I must have been dying.

He pulled away suddenly and I gripped his upper arms, stumbling forward. I was so pressed into him it was like I was trying to become a part of him.

“Your so fucking adorable Ricky,” he said, taking hold of me again. “I couldn’t resist. But I now realise this is a mistake.”

I looked up in shock but saw him pouting at me in a way that made me snort for some reason. I couldn’t think the worst just yet because his hand was pretty much slowly making its way to my ass. “Why?”

“You were so easy to control just then I couldn’t resist thinking of all the kind of things I could make you do,” he smirked in a devilishly handsome way. I willed away my arousal with all my might. If Chris saw it he would chew my ass out. Not that I didn’t want it because fuck yes, I did. But I had dignity.

“And don’t try and tell me you’re not fucking aroused.”

Shit.
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Notes