A Life Worth Living

“Charlotte?”

“I’m fine, Austin. It’s just… I remember what happened the night I left. I remember the first accident…” He kept his eyes on the road ahead of us but picked up my hand and kissed it gently. After he set my hand down he let go of it and put both hands on the steering wheel. I saw a tear roll down his tanned cheek. Before I could even react. He turned to me slowly and whispered the words “I’m sorry” and turned back to face the road. That was the last thing he said the rest of the way home. The rest of the ride was an awkward silence but every time I wanted to cry I turned to look at my beautiful baby girl sitting behind me. Soon enough we pulled up to the house. Nothing looked much different. The house was still white and pretty plain. Austin never liked anything too ostentatious. He was the first to get out of the car, he went to grab our daughter and grabbed her diaper bag. I slowly opened the passenger door. My heart began to race and my breathing became more frequent. This is the start of our next and crazy adventure.

Austin took our daughter inside and I just stood there, looking at our front door. It still had the silly doorknocker that we pick out. I inched closer to the doorway, our kitchen was to the right and our living room area was to the left. As I peered around the room I noticed our fireplace that adorned many photos. All of which had dust on the top. I picked up the one photo that didn’t have dust on its surface. It’s a photo of me holding our daughter when she was first born. Austin most have been looking at it recently. My eyes felt heavy as a tear rolled down my cheek. I heard Austin come down the stairs, I quickly set the photo down and turned to face the kitchen. It looks like we had upgraded to stainless steel appliances. I walked over to our fridge. It had magnets from all the places we visited. There’s one from France, Washington, Colorado, Minnesota, England, Australia, and so on. I smiled because I remember every single one of those trips.

I felt Austin’s hands on my shoulders, I felt his breath on my neck. I shivered as he whispered in my ear. “Charlotte, I missed you.. I was so worried. I can’t ever lose you.”

“Austin, you haven’t lost me yet. I doubt that you will anytime soon. I love you with all my heart Austin Robert Carlile. Forever and always, my love.”

He bent down to kiss me and kissed him back with a burning passion. I’ve missed him and all his love and passion and excitement. He tongue feverishly thrust against mine, as he slid his hands down to my hips. I moaned with pleasure as he grabbed my ass roughly. God I missed this. I can’t remember the last time we did this. Or maybe that’s just my amnesia speaking. I ran my hands down his sculpted midsection and pulled at his shirt. He let go of my waist just long enough to pull his shit over his head. He stopped to look at me and arched an eyebrow. He pulled me into him hard and kissed my neck before practically ripping my blouse from my body. I crushed my lips and longed for his probing tongue. I placed my hands on his bare back and he cupped my breasts gently. His lips went from my lips to my neck and then down to my chest. He nibbled while I scratched my fingernails up his back. “Austin” I muttered softly He smiled and said my name into my lips. He spoke softly “If we weren’t married I’d ask you to marry me.” Then it hit me… I don’t remember our wedding. Who the hell doesn’t remember their own goddamn wedding? I let my arms fall and I stepped away. I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to. I don’t remember anything that was important to me.. My eyes burned as I tried to stifle a tear. “Charlotte? Baby, what’s wrong?” He said as he chased me. “Austin! Nothing is wrong! Just let me be for now! Good night!” I ran up stairs to our bedroom. I got out of my jeans and bra into sweats and a T-Shirt. I sat on our bed and stared at the wall.

I couldn’t take it anymore so I jumped up and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a few cuts and bruises on my face as well some down my arms. I rummaged around the cabinets and found a bath bomb, it smelled of lilacs and roses. I kneeled on the the floor. I turned the water on and watched it flow from the spigot. I heard a soft knock on the door. I got up and opened it for Austin. “Can I join you?” He asked carefully. “Darling, I don’t think we’ll both fit in the tub…” I replied. “Oh, I guess you’re right..”

“But you could sit on the floor and keep me company for a bit..?” His eyes grew wider and his how expression changed. As if I just made his whole entire day. “Just no funny business.. For now.” I winked at his before I brushed my lips against his neck. I throw the bath bomb right into the tub and watched it fizz and change color. The foam swirled intricate waves in the water. I slowly lifted my shirt over my head and watched Austin watching me in the mirror. I slid my sweats down past my waist and let them fall to the floor. I grabbed a hair tie and throw my hair up into a bun. I hiked one leg up and over the side of the tub testing the water. It was hot enough to sting but not enough to singe my skin. I went in and sank just slightly above my head. I held my hand out for Austin to grab. He smiled and planted his butt down next to me and kissed my hand. We sat there in blissful peace. My eyes got heavy and I closed my eyes for a bit. When I opened my I was in our bed with Austin’s arms around me. I smiled and closed my eyes. And in this moment I was positively content with my life just the way it was.

Notes

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