My son was 10 when we found out he had marfan syndrome that he developed from his dad.

I couldn’t breathe. I just kept seeing him.

“Where are we going?” He asked, for the 100th time.

“Sweetie, I told you. Your going to spend the day with your dad.” I explained again. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“I have…a dad?” He asked, slowly. The first time he asked me this, I slammed on the breaks. He was 3 then. Barley able to speak but still didn’t know who exactly his father was. He didn’t see him often, he always forgot. He needed to see him to remember.

I found a parking spot and shut the car off. I sent Austin a text and got out of the car to my son’s side.

I sighed. “Then I guess I’ll have to take you out for ice cream.” I smiled.
He smiled wider. “Deal.”
He reached for my hand and we talked together towards the buses. Searching for ‘Of Mice & Men’.
“We’ve been walkin’ for awhile.” He said, stopping and looking up at me.

I stopped and looked down at him as he reached up for me. “Don’t tell me you want me to carry you.”

Shortly, he looked over and his eyes met mine and I felt my heart race, leaving a heavy pain in my chest and throat went dry.

“I love you, baby.” I said and gave him a kiss, then turned him around and he ran inside the bus where the boys all cheered his name.

Austin watched him run inside then turned to me. He walked the few feet that separated us so I didn’t have to.

“I want you to see your son! More! Daily! This is the sixth time he has asked who his dad was! What should I start saying?” I asked.

“No, I don’t believe you. Don’t make that shit up, Macy.”
“Why would I ever make that up, Austin?”

“Because your you, Macy. You’ve always been the biggest pain in my ass. Of course, you’d make this up. I’ve had enough of you and this is the first time I’ve actually talked to you in years! I don’t see him because I’d have to deal with you!” He tried to walk away but I grabbed his arm.

“Do not use me as an excuse for not seeing your son. We are a different story. That kid loves you more than anything and is disappointed at every lonely Christmas and birthday. Don’t you dare blame me. I have nothing to do with your selfish act.” I was right and I wasn’t going to let him fight this anymore. I turned on my heel and walked away.

-

Nothing has changed since then and I don’t think a phone call would make him come either.

Notes