From Nothing to Everything

That night, I laid awake. I couldn't stop thinking, about everything. What if they ended up hating me? What if I hated life on the road? What if they found out about my self harm? What would they do with me once they realized that all they wanted to do was party and bring women onto the bus, but couldn't do it because of me? I was so nervous about everything.

Unable to sleep, I grabbed my phone. 2:00 am. That's it, I wasn't getting to sleep. I put in my earbuds and hit play. Never Giving Up. Another one of my favorite songs. I stared up at the ceiling of the bus, continuing to think. It was insane. I was living with the musicians that wrote this song! Come to think of it, I was going to be living with the musicians of all of my favorite songs.

I sat there, trying to reassure myself. 'You've watched all of Bryan Stars' interviews with these guys. You've seen the hot topic interview compilations, and the hot minute interviews, you love these guys! They're going to like you, and you are going to LOVE them. You're going to meet so many people at warped tour, like Bryan Stars, and My Digital Escape! It'll be amazing,' I thought to myself.

At 5:00 I gave up and hopped out of my bunk. Walking as lightly as possible, I made my way into the make shift kitchen. Opening the cabinets, I eventually found a box of lucky charms. Searching everywhere for a bowl, I eventually gave up and use a plastic cup. Not finding milk that was still drinkable, I grabbed a spoon and sat there on the couch, watching The Walking Dead, eating the marshmallowy goodness anxiously. I was so engrossed in my tiny phone, watching episode after episode, I didn't even see Alan creep up up behind me.

Alan jumped up from behind the couch, grabbing my shoulders from behind, making sluggish zombie noises. I jumped, throwing my hands up, causing me to throw my cereal over my shoulder into Alan's face. I pulled out my earbuds and turned to face him.

"I could have been killed! I didn't even know anyone was awake!" I exclaimed, both of us laughing hysterically. Looking at the rainbow marshmallows stuck to his face wasn't helping.

"But why are you up so early?" Alan asked. I turned my head to check the clock. Not bothering to tell him that it had been 2 hours since I had actually gotten up, I looked back at him.

"Couldn't sleep," I replied cheerfully.

Alan pulled out his computer, and we began to watch The Walking Dead together on a bigger screen. Every now and then, Alan would whisper, "I have no clue what's going on," and I would smile and explain, but it was nice to sit with someone.

Slowly, more of the guys began getting up and walked into the lounge room. As Tino walked in, he gave Alan a strange look as Alan hurriedly started wiping the marshmallows off of his face. At about 10:00 the bus stopped in the grass in the middle of nowhere. We all stepped out to stretch our legs.

"What state are we even in?" I asked.

"Ummm. Somewhere hot," Alan replied.

And he was definitely right. I was still in my soft batman pajama pants and skull tank top, and I was dying. We all turned around upon hearing a rattling sound coming from the bus. The bus driver walked down the steps a few moments later.

"Damn bus, something's screwed in he radiator, won't start up," he griped, opening a compartment in the front of the bus.

"Looks like we'll be here a while," Austin sighed. As we sat in the grass waiting, Austin got up and walked over to the road, looking at the downhill with a steep incline at the bottom. After a bit, I walked over to him.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked him, clasping my hands behind my back. He smiled.

"I'm just remembering a thing that I used to do when I was a kid," he told me. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. He walked back to the bus and reappeared a few minutes later with a small cart used to carry the equipment. It was pretty simple, with a box on wheels and a handle to steer and control the wheels. He walked back over to me.

"I used to do this when I was a kid on a hot day, except with those little red wagons that little kids drag around," he said, wheeling the thing into the center of the road. He sat down in it, his long legs sticking straight off the front. "Get on," he said excitedly. Hesitantly, I got on and sat in his lap.

"Okay, so it's simple. You roll down the hill, and use the handle to steer," he explained, demonstrating by reaching around me and pulling the handle back, like a steering wheel. With no warning, he reached one arm down and pushed off the ground hard, and with that, we were flying down the hill.

At first, I was terrified, feeling like I was crashing to my death, but hearing Austin's shouts of pure joy each time the wheels would rumble over a patch of rocks, or when the wagon would tip to one side and rock back into place, reassured me. After a few seconds, I was screaming with him, whooping and laughing. I was finally having the childhood I had never had.

At the bottom of the hill, we jolted into the uphill, causing my stomach to rise into my throat. After a few yards, we began to slow down. When we were almost at a stop, Austin climbed out and began pulling the cart back up the steep hill. The other guys had been standing at the top of the hill, watching. We did that for another hour or so, watching Alan's look of terror as he squealed, grabbing Valentino's hands, which were clutching the handle, and screaming when Phil and I almost ran over a squirrel. Eventually, the bus driver called to us, saying that they had fixed the bus. We walked back to the bus, laughing. I was having the time of my life.

Notes

That was fun to write \( ^ω^ )/