Never Giving Up On You **POSSIBLE TW: READ WITH CAUTION**

I stand there, looking in the mirror. I point out every flaw about my body. My hair never looks good, my face is too round and full of acne, my arms look huge, my stomach sticks out and jiggles, my thighs are bigger than Texas, and so much more silly things about my body. The only thing I really like about me, is my green eyes.
I eat low fat yogurt and drink a glass of water for breakfast. It will definitely not get me through the day, but I don't care. I walk to school and try to get through the day.

When I first started High School, and even throughout Middle School, I was bullied a lot. Kids would tell me I'm fat and called me a dyke because of my short hair. They would shove me down stairs and knock the books out of my hands. No one would stand up for me, because they feared that they would become victims too. I also, for a few years in my life, suffered my older brothers verbal abuse. When I was about 10 years old to 13 years old, he would say things like, "Wow I hope you die. You're so annoying" i never bothered him, or even talked to him. "You're such an idiot!" he'd say, whenever I do something wrong. He'd also call me a "Fucking piece of shit." without feeling one pang of guilt. I never knew why he said those things to me, and I don't think I ever will. When I turned 14 he finally moved out. I was so relieved.

I finally get home from school and do what I always do when I get home. I go to my room and lock the door, put my head phones in and listen to music, and then I draw. These are the only things that bring me joy in life. I draw for a bit, and I'm actually quite proud of this drawing. I drew myself looking very happy. I colored it with bright colored pencils, and it gave me these positive and happy vibes. I hang it on my wall and step back to admire it. But the worse possible thing happened.

I started pointing out all the flaws. Just like I do about myself. My hair wasn't the right color and shape. My nose was too small. My lips were off. My eyes just look like shit.

I hate when I do this. I just can't look at anything I do without seeing more negative than positive. I wish I could just see the positive. But it's so hard. I'm going to go to sleep for a few hours before I rip this drawing up. Sleeping is the only coping skill I use a lot to get out of stressful situations. Maybe later I feel better. Or maybe I won't wake up at all.

Notes

Hi there! This is my first story, so I hope you liked the first chapter! I'm so sorry if it's complete shit :P Let me know what you think! And if you have any suggestions on how I can improve my write, feel free to let me know :)