We're all made just a little bit broken

Abby's POV
Its been a month since I was released, we are on warped tour. We left yesterday. Nothing has gotten better for me, I'm still my sad old self. What makes it worse is Mike's band is on tour, Pierce The Veil. I continue to let the hot shower water run down my pale beaten up body. My ribs are still healing, but otherwise I'm mostly okay.

I think about a lot, everything that's happened in my short life, I've not exactly had the best life. I look at the water draining, it's like watching my life go past the point of return. I grab out my blade and cut my arm into pieces. I watch the blood drip and I just stand there watching it, the weight comes back to my body.

I clean my arm up and wash away the evidence that I cut again. Alan would be so angry and upset. I wear a paramore long sleeved shirt and jeans. I brush through my long orange hair and grab my makeup. I'm not able to wear any make up except eyeliner, because I have a scar down my face and my eyes still bruised. It makes me so self conscious.

I leave the bathroom. "Hey, what do you want for breakfast?" Alan asks. I think about yesterday. Mike made run of me for my weight. I weigh 103lbs and I'm 5'7 ugh he's right, I should loose some. "I'm not hungry, but I'm going for a walk, bye!" I shout and run out to avoid further questions.

I sit on a bench near the bus only to be greeted by Vic and Mike, "hey bitch, take my advice on loosing weight yet?" Mike asks. "Yeah, I did actually." I reply. "Good you really need to loose it." He says and punches my ribs, and leaves. I bend over in pain and feel tears. I realise Vic is still here so I hold them back.

He does what I least expect, he sits down and asks if I'm ok, and I agree. Even though it's a lie. "I know we've never really spoke and I've probably came of really mean but I'm actually nice. I can tell you're not okay." hE says. "Ignore what Mike says, it's not true. You seem like a really nice person." He says and I mumble, "thank you." Maybe I can trust him.

We talk for a while. I begin fiddling with my sleeves and he looks down and notices. "Why are you wearinglomg sleeves in such hot weather?" He asks. He knows. "Uh, I'm cold." I lie. He sees through it. "Give me your arms." He says and takes them. He slowly rolls the sleeves up.

"I thought you did." He mumbles. "How could you tell?" I question. He takes his bracelets of reaveling old pale scars on his wrists. "I'm sorry you had to go though that." I whisper and he looks down sadly. "if you ever need anybody to talk to, I'll always be here.." He says and leaves his phone number to text him.

He goes back to his bus leaving me alone. I decide to go back to the bus when the rain comes on, this is the first warped date it's rained and it's really warm. I go back to the bus to find Alan drunk, how did he get drunk so fucking quick? I've been gone an hour. He's got to perform later. "Alan you have to perform later, why are you getting drunk? You have a meet and greet in 15 minutes you idiot." I shout. He gets really angry, shit.

"don't you shout at me, I'm your brother!" He screams. All of thhe guys watch, Alan has never been like is before."I have too, you're being stupid! You have fans to meet. You can't just get drunk right before a meet and greet." I say. "You can't tell me what to do, maybe if you weren't so fucked up I wouldn't have so much on my mind to forget. You were an accident anyway." He shots and slaps my face.

Everyone stands in shock. His words cut like razors. "Well, when I try to kill myself don't stop me again. I'll remember to cut deeper next time." I shout and run off the bus. I hear Austin and Tino run after me but I'm too fast. I go to a park nearby. And sit on the swings. The place is abandoned.

I just sit there, for hours, the rain dripping down me, and grab my pills I've kept for anxiety attacks. A full jar. I empty
the jar into my hands and stare into space. I plug my earphones in and listen to Lost it All by bvb and then Fade to Black by Metallica. Tears stream. Down my face, there isn't any chance of this getting better. Even my brother hates me.

You're not Alone comes on, I cry even more. I'll miss them so much, but they hate me. I check the time, it's 7pm, I've been here for hours. I wonder if they're even looking for me?

Austins POV
the show finishes and we have to find Abby. I hope she's okay. Alan was completely wrong with the things he said and hitting her. Everybody is mad at him and I think he regrets it, he should.

abbys pov
I hear running behind me and see Andy from bvb and Vic, I'm close to Andy already. Vic shoves all the pills from my hand. Andy grabs me and holds me, he doesn't even let go. I feel him crying into my shoulder. "Why would you do this? We love you too much." He cries.

Vic looks shocked. "We heard about you and Alan, and he's really upset. Everybody's looking for you!" He says and texts Austin to tell them where I am. I explain to them both the whole story. "I promise it'll be okay." vic whispers. They take me back to the bus, and I hear Andy say what happened and I go straight to my bunk.

I cry into my pillow And fall asleep.

Notes

I know Alan isn't like this, but it's part of the story.