Toxic Valentine. (Fransykes)

((A/N: Smut ay)

When he wakes up, all he feels is a mass of tangles legs and arms, and a bare chest resting against his own. He’s tired, with cerulean eyes half closed but he knows that scent, knows those hands; although they’re a little colder than he remembers. He’s not in any pain, so he assumes all they did was sleep. That’s new; Oli usually does whatever he can to get what he wants. It seems many things have changed since the last time they lay together in a bed. Though again, even the beds were comfier, the sheets cleaner. The other man doesn’t play guitar, Josh knows, but his hands are still rougher, perhaps from touching his fiancé, the thought makes Josh sit up.

The shaking young man pushes lightly at his friend (Or whatever it was they were) and watches as his hazel eyes blink sleepily, for once he wasn’t in control and vulnerable, the most vulnerable Josh had ever seen him. He’s never seen Oli wake up before, but Hannah will see it everyday. The thought makes Josh push him again, this time the Sheffield born man sits up and scowls. “What is it?” he asks softly, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Josh…” It’s as if until this point he hadn’t seen Josh, but someone else, and suddenly his face relaxed into a smile. His long, pale fingers reached up to push a piece of the younger’s hair from his face. “Good morning, pretty boy,” His breath hitched and his head bows slightly, with cheeks flushed.

“Good morning, s-sir,” He can’t help it, it clawed up his throat, making him whimper as soon as he said it, “Sorry,” Josh apologises quickly, cheeks burning in embarrassment. Yet the Weybridge born man is surprised as Oli’s slender fingers cup his chin and tilts his head up to look at him; for a moment there is silence and the two only regard each other with unease, before the inked man tilts his head forward and brushes their lips together with such delicate ease it was almost like the strokes of a paintbrush. Josh was a work of art in his own right, as far as Oli was concerned.

The azure eyed man gasps lightly, his cheeks hot and red under the touch of his former lover, the slide of their lips together making him whine desperately. He wanted this, but not like this, not knowing Oli had someone else tucked away, waiting for him innocently to come home and marry her, start a family with her. With a relationship like theirs, there was no way they could ever have a family. Oli deserved to be happy. So when they pull away, the ebony haired man is shocked to find the submissive teary eyed, avoiding his gaze as though the weight of the world was placed on his shoulders. That’s not how it’s supposed to go, but perhaps this is where the story ends. Oli shakes at the thought because as this tour has proved; he physically can’t stay away from Josh. And Josh was bound to do as the other said. And recklessly so, Oli had never asked Josh what he was afraid of, where to draw the line so years later they were still playing the waiting game; If they had had a contract, signed consent, it could’ve been rebuked and perhaps Josh would’ve felt more free.

“I’m sorry Josh,” it’s sincere and yet it makes said man’s heart sink because he knows the next words before they’ve left his lips “I care about you too much,” There’s a long and quiet pause and the chestnut haired man is torn between suffocating in this room, with the air so thick and his heart beating so rapidly, or leaving somewhere else to burst into tears. It had been so much easier to assume he wasn’t loved, that Oli didn’t care for him at all. And now he had to not only avoid him to salvage the relationship Oli would still have with Hannah, but also avoid him with the knowledge that the other man wanted him too.

“I-I…” He trails off “I love you,” He admits “But we don’t belong to each other, you have a fiancé,” Josh reasons, his eyes wide and teary, salty pieces of emotion dancing across his cheeks “And somewhere there’s someone for me,” There’s a long echoing silence and neither of them know really what to say.

“Just for today, stay with me, just for now, it’s not a proper goodbye without it, I want a proper goodbye,” The word ‘want’ makes the Submissive shiver, the way the ‘t’ pops and the air rushes between Oli’s teeth so fiercely, as if he were stabbing out his words. Or perhaps it was because his hazel drop seven shades darker and his tongue darts out over his lips. Josh knows before he gives two ounces of thought that his idea of a goodbye was going to end badly. And it’s not that he didn’t care, it’s mostly to do with the fact he can’t argue with his Dom’s tone as he mutters out “A proper goodbye, no one’s here to stop it, neither of us have anything to do until this afternoon right?” The younger shivers and shakes his head. “Are you ok with this?” There’s a moment where Josh thinks about saying no, he knows this will weigh on both their conscience, but he needs this, he needs this permission, needs a goodbye.
“Yes sir,” The words rolls off so easily that he surprises himself, but he watches as Oli grins and pulls their lips together again, pinning his hands down against the sheets as he moves a leg between the other’s. Josh lifts his hips slightly and whimpers, his lip being bitten slowly before it’s released.

“Clothes off,” Oli shifts and drags the younger man’s skinny jeans down his long legs, tossing them carelessly to the floor before he began to burn his kiss across the other’s thighs, when he next looks up, Josh had ridded himself of his shirt, leaving the elder to caress his stomach slowly, his hands tugging down Josh’s boxers. He wanted the other naked as soon as possible, before he spends a while simply manoeuvring himself all over the pale skin that is so usually hidden; but he remembers so well. The feel is not all that different; his body still reacts unusually fast to the touch, as if recognising that he is owned by this man, completely. Josh is hard in minutes, with barely any touch from Oli.

The elder then brings him into a slow kiss, his lips scorching as their tongues danced together, Josh is lying helpless and whimpering to every little touch, their lips dragging against each other lazily, little nibbles against bruising pink lips and slow licks over the little indents. The Sheffield born man moves down his lover’s body, sucking and marking and kissing and scratching, so fast, too fast, and it makes Josh jump. He wants to speak but his throat is closed up with a moan. “S-sir, please,” he whispers, arching his back to every kiss needily. “Please, fuck me,” He knows what Oli likes, he knows he wants him to beg, he remembers that much “Please, sir,”

Josh traces the ink on the other’s chest, watching as he searched through his bag for lube. Their eyes lock as Oli silently and once again asks if this is definitely ok, the eager nod he gets in reply is enough. He makes sure there’s enough on two fingers, before pushing them both in as far as they will go at once. Josh raises his hips a little, a hand covering his mouth so stop himself from shouting out, his cock against his stomach, but he knew he couldn’t touch, not until he was told to at least. “You ok, pretty boy?” Came a softer tone of a rougher voice, pressing a butterfly kiss too his hips. A third finger pushes in and a little squeak falls from his lips.

“Yes sir,” he whispers, his thighs are trembling, his nerves on fire. Swallowing dryly, he finally allows a moan to surpass his chapped, stinging lips. And a louder, more desperate whine as he feels ths fingers move roughly, as far as any could go before Oli pulls them out. He whimpers and begs for more, just as he hears the rips of a condom packet “N-No,” He mutters “Please, no, I-I want to feel you,” It shocks himself because it’s so far the only input he’s had since he got here, but it shocks Oli too because his assumption was that was exactly what he didn’t want.

To remember.

He’s bigger than he remembers, but it’s been a few years, there was bound to be another inch, after all Oli himself had shot upwards a little since their last encounter. There’s a burning sensation and a twist in his abdomen as Josh rests his hands on his lower stomach, feeling how different it felt. It’d been so long since he’d been intimate with anyone that he’d forgotten how much he enjoyed it. Now, the younger could only feel his heart racing quickly, his lips parting and a little gasp escaping. Josh didn’t really have a pain kink, but in small quantities he didn’t mind, even though his eyes watered just a little, a tell tale sign of his pain. Oli leant down and caught their lips together, their hands joined with Josh’s pressed against the sheet. “I love you,” He mutters when he’s as far in as he can go, waiting patiently for Josh to adjust.

“I love you too,” Don’t fucking remind me.

A minute passes, almost two before Josh tiredly mutters “Move whenever you would like sir,” It’s not rough, it’s not too painful either, it stings mostly and his heart is beating so fast he’s worried about palpitations, but it’s not what he expected. It feels sad, it feels lonelier than this should feel, it feels like a goodbye. Now, that should be a good thing, that’s what they wanted. But that didn’t stop it hurting.

There’s silence and nothing but soft moans and the sound of slow thrusts and skin hitting skin. The pace goes faster, but their minds stay at the same speed, Oli finally touches Josh. He flicks his thumb over the head once or twice, using the precome as lube, but it’s only one or two strokes before Josh is coming into the elder’s inked hand slowly, whining gently as he did. As he is milked through his long orgasm, he tightens around his lover, sending him so close to the edge that in a few minutes he is also leaning over the edge, gasping against Josh’s throat, sucking and kissing and holding tightly.

But neither of them miss how Oli’s chest hitches as if he is crying.

Notes