My Words Cut Deep
Glass Hearts
Skyla picked up her daughter, Emmy standing at the elevator with a box of food and a soft smile. “I am not sad, just really happy to have you.” The girl giggled and hugged her mother as they made their way back to the hotel room.
-Austin & Alan’s point of view (a couple days or so later)-
Austin had secluded himself from everyone other than Pamela and Alan. No band practices, no mention of the upcoming tour, no interviews and no photo shoots. Sitting in his apartment trying to take everything in and realize this was his reality. Not only had he found out he had a child, a daughter, but had already met her. It was a slap to the face that he didn’t recognize or that the women didn’t say anything. Every emotion was alive and awake in him.
He was scared of being in this child’s life due to his life style. He was scared that he wasn’t a good father figure to have. Confused on what to do, should he really introduce himself to her. Sad that he had this child and never got to see the important mile stones. Sad that he had allowed someone to raise a child all on their own. He was angry because she should have come forward right away. Angry because she shouldn’t have sat down to lunch with Alan or hung out with him, knowing what she did. He was angry because she just came out of nowhere in deciding to appear. Angry that she was sitting across from him and couldn’t open her mouth and tell him. At the same time he knew he couldn’t be angry, she was scared, thinking back to the lunch she was nearly having an anxiety attack. Thinking back to the lunch she had mentions she was only 23 years old.
Looking at the facts, he probably wouldn’t have believed it was his when she was pregnant. Thinking back to what pervious women had done in the past to try and be with him. I have known since the day I was pregnant that it was yours but it’s not easy to go up to a well-known singer and go “this is your baby.” I know you would have dismissed me and that’s okay.
Through all of the conflicting negative emotions, he felt some excitement. You have a daughter. Her name is Elizabeth Maria Carlile-Patrova
How could he be angry at such a young life, a life that was part of him. She looks like you, put a picture of you beside her and you have a female Austin Carlile.
Even though he was angry and confused with the mother, he couldn’t hate her, he couldn’t dismiss her. I am sorry if I have caused you trouble, stress or pain… or all of the above.
Austin looked up at the sound of the letter being re-folded in half, his friends head bowed down. His leg shaking, a sigh escaping and then silence came from his friend. Austin watched as Alan fought with himself. If Austin was in his best friends shoes he would be conflicted as well, having grown a crush on a women… only to find out she has your best friends child and never said a word. “You shouldn’t be angry with her…” The words came out of Austin’s mouth in mumbles.
Alan tore his sight from the floor and looked at his friend, biting his bottom lip. “She could have said something…”
Austin stood up, walking to the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. Grabbing a glass from the counter and filling it with water. “Would we have believed her?”
Silence quickly filled the room, making it feel as if time had stopped. Austin found his way back to the chair he had been sitting in earlier. Relaxing into the chair he leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were everywhere, until Alan spoke up, causing Austin’s thoughts to focus on his friend’s words. “What are you going to do?” His voice was quiet and sad.
Closing his eye’s trying to shut everything out until he flickered his eyes once again. “I-I don’t know.”
“You should meet her.” The voice made both men jump slightly. Both their heads turned to see Pamela just getting back from work. They hadn’t even heard her enter the house, let alone walk into the kitchen. Austin sighed leaning forward and placing his face in his hands. Walking into the living room she sat down on the couch with Alan, looking at Austin. “You should meet her, see how you feel. You can write to the mot- to Skyla and ask not to be introduced as the father… whatever you want to do, I just think you should meet her-” She paused looking at her hands. “I think if you don’t, it will eat at you.”
Leaning back he was sucked into his thoughts, so much that he didn’t notice that Alan left. Pamela walked over to him, kissing his forehead and left to take a shower. Austin eventually came back to reality with a decision. He wasn’t sure if it was the right choice or the best choice but he thought it was best for Elizabeth. Getting up he wandered into the basement where he had his own homemade studio. Pulling out a note pad and a pen he sat down, he didn’t want it to sound mean but he also didn’t know what to say.
Skyla,
I am at lose of words of what to say, even sitting here and thinking… I can’t seem to come up with what I truly want to say. So many emotions come from this situation, which I never expected to ever be in. I am sorry that I was not here to be in Elizabeth’s life early on, even though I wasn’t really given a chance. Under your circumstances, I can understand why you hadn’t come forward, but at the same time it angers me that you didn’t.
I don’t want to say this in a letter, I want to talk to you. I want to hear what you have to say and what you went through. I want to hear about my daughter, I want to know her like I was there. BUT most importantly I want to be a part of her life.
Austin Carlile
After looking over the letter, he folded it up and walked back upstairs. Pulling out his phone to text Alan to get Skyla’s number off of him. Walking upstairs to his room he saw Pamela finishing getting dressed. Coming up behind her he hugged her, kissing the sides of her neck. They stayed like that for a while to Austin whispered lightly. “I love you.” Pamela turned around in his arms and kissed him, smiling softly. “I love you too…. Now go.” She smiled and walked out of the room.
He looked himself over, debating whether to shave or not. After deciding not to he changed into a pair of black jeans that weren’t so torn, a white v neck with a grey button up over top. Walking downstairs he slipped into his vans, grabbing his keys and headed out the door.
-Austin & Alan’s point of view (a couple days or so later)-
Austin had secluded himself from everyone other than Pamela and Alan. No band practices, no mention of the upcoming tour, no interviews and no photo shoots. Sitting in his apartment trying to take everything in and realize this was his reality. Not only had he found out he had a child, a daughter, but had already met her. It was a slap to the face that he didn’t recognize or that the women didn’t say anything. Every emotion was alive and awake in him.
He was scared of being in this child’s life due to his life style. He was scared that he wasn’t a good father figure to have. Confused on what to do, should he really introduce himself to her. Sad that he had this child and never got to see the important mile stones. Sad that he had allowed someone to raise a child all on their own. He was angry because she should have come forward right away. Angry because she shouldn’t have sat down to lunch with Alan or hung out with him, knowing what she did. He was angry because she just came out of nowhere in deciding to appear. Angry that she was sitting across from him and couldn’t open her mouth and tell him. At the same time he knew he couldn’t be angry, she was scared, thinking back to the lunch she was nearly having an anxiety attack. Thinking back to the lunch she had mentions she was only 23 years old.
Looking at the facts, he probably wouldn’t have believed it was his when she was pregnant. Thinking back to what pervious women had done in the past to try and be with him. I have known since the day I was pregnant that it was yours but it’s not easy to go up to a well-known singer and go “this is your baby.” I know you would have dismissed me and that’s okay.
Through all of the conflicting negative emotions, he felt some excitement. You have a daughter. Her name is Elizabeth Maria Carlile-Patrova
How could he be angry at such a young life, a life that was part of him. She looks like you, put a picture of you beside her and you have a female Austin Carlile.
Even though he was angry and confused with the mother, he couldn’t hate her, he couldn’t dismiss her. I am sorry if I have caused you trouble, stress or pain… or all of the above.
Austin looked up at the sound of the letter being re-folded in half, his friends head bowed down. His leg shaking, a sigh escaping and then silence came from his friend. Austin watched as Alan fought with himself. If Austin was in his best friends shoes he would be conflicted as well, having grown a crush on a women… only to find out she has your best friends child and never said a word. “You shouldn’t be angry with her…” The words came out of Austin’s mouth in mumbles.
Alan tore his sight from the floor and looked at his friend, biting his bottom lip. “She could have said something…”
Austin stood up, walking to the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. Grabbing a glass from the counter and filling it with water. “Would we have believed her?”
Silence quickly filled the room, making it feel as if time had stopped. Austin found his way back to the chair he had been sitting in earlier. Relaxing into the chair he leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were everywhere, until Alan spoke up, causing Austin’s thoughts to focus on his friend’s words. “What are you going to do?” His voice was quiet and sad.
Closing his eye’s trying to shut everything out until he flickered his eyes once again. “I-I don’t know.”
“You should meet her.” The voice made both men jump slightly. Both their heads turned to see Pamela just getting back from work. They hadn’t even heard her enter the house, let alone walk into the kitchen. Austin sighed leaning forward and placing his face in his hands. Walking into the living room she sat down on the couch with Alan, looking at Austin. “You should meet her, see how you feel. You can write to the mot- to Skyla and ask not to be introduced as the father… whatever you want to do, I just think you should meet her-” She paused looking at her hands. “I think if you don’t, it will eat at you.”
Leaning back he was sucked into his thoughts, so much that he didn’t notice that Alan left. Pamela walked over to him, kissing his forehead and left to take a shower. Austin eventually came back to reality with a decision. He wasn’t sure if it was the right choice or the best choice but he thought it was best for Elizabeth. Getting up he wandered into the basement where he had his own homemade studio. Pulling out a note pad and a pen he sat down, he didn’t want it to sound mean but he also didn’t know what to say.
Skyla,
I am at lose of words of what to say, even sitting here and thinking… I can’t seem to come up with what I truly want to say. So many emotions come from this situation, which I never expected to ever be in. I am sorry that I was not here to be in Elizabeth’s life early on, even though I wasn’t really given a chance. Under your circumstances, I can understand why you hadn’t come forward, but at the same time it angers me that you didn’t.
I don’t want to say this in a letter, I want to talk to you. I want to hear what you have to say and what you went through. I want to hear about my daughter, I want to know her like I was there. BUT most importantly I want to be a part of her life.
Austin Carlile
After looking over the letter, he folded it up and walked back upstairs. Pulling out his phone to text Alan to get Skyla’s number off of him. Walking upstairs to his room he saw Pamela finishing getting dressed. Coming up behind her he hugged her, kissing the sides of her neck. They stayed like that for a while to Austin whispered lightly. “I love you.” Pamela turned around in his arms and kissed him, smiling softly. “I love you too…. Now go.” She smiled and walked out of the room.
He looked himself over, debating whether to shave or not. After deciding not to he changed into a pair of black jeans that weren’t so torn, a white v neck with a grey button up over top. Walking downstairs he slipped into his vans, grabbing his keys and headed out the door.
Notes
Other then some grammar and working that I probably missed to fix...
I am pretty proud of this chapter, I felt something through it.
I really hope you guys are enjoying this story because I am.
Vote, comment, message me if you would like,
I'd love to hear you opinions, and ideas and whatever.
Thanks for reading
Please update!!
12/7/15