A Recollection of Ideas: A Series of One Shots

“Baby, are you okay?” I asked softly as I rubbed his shoulders. I kissed his cheek to be sure. My ginger haired beauty looked back, stress marring his face. Dark bags were under his eyes. I felt bad for him. Over the past few days, he’d been swamped with important band stuff. During the day, he’d work on lyrics for the new album, and then at night he would read the fan mail.

I’d try to do my part and help him out. I put a blanket over him when I woke up in the middle of the night and found him asleep on the couch instead of beside me in the bed of our spacious house. Every day, I felt more and more out of touch with him. Can’t he take a break to spend a little time with me and the cats and maybe go to a movie, not worrying about the music? Austin would want him to take a break!

“No, no, I’m fine.” He responded gruffly. He’d been stressed and had snapped at me multiple times over the last few hours. All I could do was walk away quietly, although it hurt inside. Was it me that was doing something wrong?

“Are you sure you don’t need something to drink? I could make you some popcorn if you’re hungry.” I suggested kindly, rubbing his shoulders some more. He turned around, anger in his eyes.

“I said NO, Roxanne.” He snapped, again. I sighed and took a step back. He turned back to his laptop, frustrated he couldn’t get the lyrics right. I heard him mutter something to the screen. Unlike the last few times, he didn’t come back around and apologize. I felt hollow inside, like I was alone in the room and Alan Ashby was just…nonexistent.

I continued cleaning up around the house for the rest of the day, keeping my eye on my boyfriend, but always giving him space. I didn’t want to be snapped at again. Personally, I wanted to get out of the house. I felt tethered to the ground while I was watching Alan. He should come with me!

As I was vacuuming our bedroom, my phone buzzed. I picked it up. It was a message from my best friend, Alex. She happened to also be dating Tino. I picked up the phone and turned off my vacuum.

“Hey, Alex.” I laughed into the phone.

“What’s up, Roxanne?”

“Watching Alan work, as usual. He’s gotten more ticked off the longer he’s at it.” I sighed. She chuckled softly. Tino’s voice could be heard in the background. She giggled as he didn’t something I couldn’t see.

“Oh, that’s too bad. Hey, we’re going to a party at Austin’s house with All Time Low. Would you like to join? Alan can come to, for a break.” She suggested. I brightened up. This would be the perfect chance. I glanced from my bedroom to the living room, looking to where my ginger kitten had his headphones in, furiously typing away at something. His guitar laid next to him.

“That sounds amazing! You’ve saved the day, again, Alex! I’ll try to convince Alan to come, but I’m not too sure. What time is it?” I asked her, super happy that she’s come to my rescue yet again. I owed this girl the world!

“Come around to Carlile’s house by about six our so.” Alex said. We said farewell and I clicked off the phone, sliding it into my jeans pocket again. I closed my eyes with a shaky sigh. Now, for the tough part.

I finished up my cleaning, fixed some lunch, brought it out to Alan, and went to reading my book. I couldn’t focus. I was way too excited for our Friday night party! An hour before we had to leave, I went up to Alan. He was scowling at his laptop. The dark bags under his golden eyes had grown deeper. I sat down next to him for a moment. He put his laptop on the coffee table, running his hands through his tangle mane of fiery hair. He should shower.

“Hey, Rox.” He sighed.

“So Alex called a little bit ago. She was wondering if we wanted to go to a party at Austin’s house. We can only stay for an hour or two and then escape. All Time Low is joining us.” I tempted. I knew that Jack and Alan liked to hang together. Alan just shook his head furiously, going back to glaring at the laptop screen. He needed sleep, a shower, and a good time.

“No, no, I can’t. I have to keep on working.” He growled angrily. I put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched and I slowly removed it.

“Please, Alan. You’ve been at it for three days straight! You only took a shower two days ago! You need a little time out of the house.” I told him. He shot daggers in my direction. The conversation was over. He wasn’t going.

“I’ll see you home soon.” He grumbled and went back to work. I walked away, angry. I wanted to stay and fight, but I knew that this was important to him. Instead of arguing, I just went, found some cute and comfortable clothes, and grabbed the keys.

“Don’t forget dinner.” I called to him.

“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbled back. I went to my car, feeling alone, as usual.

Twenty minutes and five songs later, I was parking in Austin’s long driveway. The house was alive with lights. Parking, I shoved the keys in my pocket and went to the door. I just walked inside. No one would hear the doorbell over the pounding music through Austin’s large speaker system.

“Hey, Rox!” Austin gave me a bear hug as I walked in. I grinned.

“What’s up, Carlile? Massive party?” I asked. He shook his head.

“All Time Low, their gals, plus the band, Alex, Jen, Pam, and Rena.” He grinned. Alex was dating Tino, Jen was in a relationship with Aaron, Pam and Austin are dating, and Rena and Phil were currently arm in arm in the corner. I walked in with Austin, people piling in the door behind me.

I think All Time Low had brought a few more people.

“Austin, is that your guitar tech?” I chuckled. He nodded.

“Oh yeah, and them. The crew came over to celebrate the end of the Spring Fling tour.” He chuckled. Looks like this place would be packed! Before I could get a better glance at the beautiful home, a hand clamped over my eyes. I shook my head.

“Hello there, Roxanne.” A voice whispered in my ear. I grinned.

“Zackary Merrick, you tease.” I giggled. He let go and gave me a hug. He was a quiet boy and I didn’t expect him to be at a party, but you know, everyone has their hidden little nooks!

The later it got, the more energized the atmosphere was. I met up with Alex came over and took a picture we me and Tino, posting it to Instagram. As I moved through the crowd, I got lots of questions why Alan wasn’t here. Thirty minutes into the party, I made a game of it.

Every time that I got asked a question about why Alan wasn’t here with me, I would drink to it.

After two hours, I was seriously drunk. I lost count of the times people asked me an Alan question and I lost the count of cups that I had disposed of. It didn’t help that I was a lightweight. Alan was usually here to monitor my drinking. Now, I was out of my wits.

“Hey baby, want to dance?” Someone asked me. I turned around to see a goofy looking Alex Gaskarth grinning like a fool. I took his hand as we moved to where some people were out on the back porch. I could barely see where I was going, but Alex had a clear idea of where he wanted to go. Soft music was pumped out of the speakers as we left the inside to stand on the porch. No one paid us no mind. Alex and Tino were the only ones I knew out here.

“You’re drunk, honey.” Alex smiled. He put his hands around my waist. I put my arms around his waist, swaying slightly to the romantic music. I wish Alan was here.

Oh no.

If he saw it, he would flip. He’d think I was cheating.

But honestly, I was too drunk to care. He had left me here, so I should have my fun, right?

Tears streamed down my face as I thought about how Alan has basically treated me badly and ignored me over the past few days. When would it end? More tears streamed down my face. A hand appeared to wipe them away. I looked up. Alex had a concerned look on his face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Alan.” And I launched into my story, drunkenly slurring through the parts, sobbing some more, and finally wiping away the stray tears. The singer pulled me into his chest, holding me closing and leaning down, whispering sweet condolences in my ear.

“Awww.” Alex giggled. She must’ve been drunk also. I rolled my eyes but buried my face in his chest. He kissed the top of my head.

“I’m sorry that this had to happen.” He whispered.

“I am too.”

“He’ll come around.”

“I hope so.” I grumbled. We swayed and danced a little more before the song ended. Alex hugged me one last time before letting go. It was getting pretty late and I should really get back to Alan.

“Hey, do you need a ride home?” he asked. I nodded silently. He took my arm and led me through the crowd. I found Austin and thanked him for the fantastic party before walking out with Alex. Thank goodness he was driving me home, because otherwise, I’d probably crash. I was still seriously hammered.

“Can we go to your house? I don’t want to be with Alan.” I grumbled sleepily. He nodded and switched directions to his car. We piled in and he drove a short distance to where he was staying. Alex let me crash on the bed and I took the couch for the night.

When I woke up, it was nine in the morning, I had a headache, and I really needed to get back home. I quietly cursed as I realized that I had forgotten to text Alan I would stay the night at a friend’s house.

But then again, I doubted he would care.

“Hey, I have to get home. Will you drive me to Austin’s house to pick up my car?” I asked. Alex nodded. We drove to his house, I thanked him, and then got into my car. An aspirin and bottle of water later, I was feeling much better.

I got home, opening up the door. I would probably find Alan asleep on the couch. He wouldn’t even notice me being gone.

Wrong.

“Where were you!?” He growled. I tried to push past him to my bedroom so I could get some sleep. I deserve that at least!

“I was at the party! I’m sorry, babe. I got a little drunk and stayed at Alex’s place because he wouldn’t let me drive drunk to you.” I shrugged, holding up my hands in defense. He growled, dark eyes shooting sharp daggers in my direction.

“Oh, so now you’re at your boyfriend’s house, probably having an affair.” He snapped and stormed back to his bunk on the couch. I followed him in there, wildly confused.

“Um, no…I was with Alex. You’re my boyfriend.” I corrected. He snarled and stood up, snapping at me, coming inches from my face.

“Not according to this picture!” He shoved his phone in my face. I looked at a picture that Alex had sent him. The caption read: You missed your chance…should pay more attention to your girl.

Oh no.

Alex had taken it while I was out on the back porch with Alex, slow dancing and crying. It was a picture of us, slow dancing with my face buried into his chest. He had his head bent, whispering sweet words in my ear. Now Alan had seen it and thought I was cheating.

“You’re cheating on me!”

“I’m not! I’m faithful! I’m faithful!” I pleaded to him, tears welling in my eyes. I moved to go to my room, lock myself away from the picture. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around.

“How could you!? You should’ve stayed home.” He snarled. I froze. It was like the world stopped turning. I shook my head slowly.

“What?”

“You. Should’ve. Stayed. Home.” He enunciated each word. I bit my lip to keep from sobbing and shook my head, turning around and facing him.

“No. I won’t do this anymore. I’ve stuck with your ungrateful ass for the past three days and I can surely say that they’re the worst three days I’ve ever spent with ANYONE! I’ve done nothing but SUPPORT you and make sure you’ve been OKAY, but noooooo! You want MORE and guess what, Alan Ashby? I HAVE NO MORE TO GIVE!” I yelled at him. I’m sick and tired and done of his crap. I’ve been helpful and been tethered down to his side for the past seventy two hours and he’s done nothing but been angry and snap at me and been ignoring my presence.

“What do you mean?” he questioned in confusion, hurt evident in his eyes.

“I’ve sat down with you and cooked every meal for you. I’ve cleaned the house while you sat there. I’ve done anything you wanted to make it more comfortable for you to work since I know how important this is to you, how important music is. I’ve given up all hopes at a social life for the past few days. I’ve canceled movie plans, I’ve skipped lunches with old friends, and I nearly missed a party because of you. And guess what you did during those seventy two hours? You yelled at me. You ignored me. I’ve never felt more alone with you.” Tears were flowing down my cheeks. I turned around before he could say another word and slammed my door shut, locking it. Alan knocked at it, calling my name softly. I couldn’t hear him through my sobs.

“What about the picture?” He asked eventually. I stopped for a moment.

“Oh that? Keep it. Let it remind you that Alex Gaskarth had more balls than you did. He actually comforted me, took care of me, and didn’t ignore me. We were just dancing, for crying out loud! But you still missed your shot. It was a harmless little dance, but I would’ve rather spent it with you than Alex.” I sobbed.

Taking a backpack full of clothes, my phone, laptop, and some money, I opened the door to find him standing there, rubbing at his tired eyes. I pushed past him, throwing my house key on the floor.

“Good luck, Ashby. I hope you can take care of yourself.” I responded in broken breaths as I went to the front door. He chased me down the steps to my car, grabbing my arm. I whirled around, glaring. He let go, his eyes turning red with sadness. He knew what he did was wrong, but he wasn’t saying anything.

“What? Are you going to stand there and watch me go or fight?” I asked. I wanted him to fight. I wanted him to plead and beg and I wanted us to go back to normal.

He stood there, looking at his feet silently.

“Yeah, I thought so.” With my pardoning words, I threw my bag into the passenger seat and drove off, never once looking back.

I found myself at Austin’s place. I had just driven and driven until I arrived at a destination. I hadn’t really planned this one, but I found myself here and I need a place to stay for a while until I….figure some stuff out.

“Hey, Rox. What’s wrong?” Austin asked me. I wiped away a stray tear, sniffling a little.

“I got in a fight with Alan.” I said. Austin pulled me into a bear hug, taking my backpack from me.

“Was he being Alan, like usual?”

“Worse, actually.” I started to tell him my story. He put my backpack by the coatrack and led me to the kitchen, where he poured me some juice and sat down next to me. Pam walked out of the hallway.

“Hello there, Roxanne. What’s wrong?” She asked. See! See! Austin’s girlfriend never got upset when Aus hung out with other girls! She knows Austin is faithful!

I guess Alan never really trusted me.

I summarized what I had just told Austin. She gave me a hug and went to make lunch. Austin kissed her cheek as she passed by and I nearly started bawling.

“Oh, Roxy. He’ll come around, don’t worry.” Austin soothed, rubbing my back. I put my head in my hands.

“We’ve never fought like this! I was just so angry because he’s been pissed at me for the past three days for really no reason! I’ve cooked for him, cleaned the house three times, and the entire time, he snapped at me whenever I did something wrong, like turn on the TV! He wanted complete silence! I couldn’t get him to budge!” I choked out. Pam came over, handing me a sandwich. I looked at her with a grateful smile.

“Give him three days. He’ll be around in three days. They always are.” She winked at me. I laughed quietly.

“Yeah, sure. Three days.”

“You can stay with us until then.” Austin said. I smiled, thanking him and putting my stuff in a guest bedroom. I sure hoped that three days, another seventy two hours, would be enough.



Three days later….

I had helped clean the house since Austin’s maid had taken the day off. Pam was in the kitchen cooking lunch for us. Austin was upstairs, jamming out on an acoustic guitar. At least when he was writing music, he actually cared about Pam…

“Today’s the third day.” I grumbled as I entered the kitchen. Pam laughed.

“Hey, it was an estimate!” She chuckled. I nodded and smiled at her. Pam and I are really good friends. She’s caring and sweet and Austin seems to just adore her.

“Alan hasn’t even tried to call.” I checked my phone again. She took my phone away from me.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from boys, don’t expect them to call. They have no clue where their phone is half the time.” We both laughed together. For the first time in six days, it was a pure, true laugh. It wasn’t marred with alcohol or fake happiness, but with a real smile.

“That’s actually very true.” Austin called from the second story. He went back to playing the guitar. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and headed upstairs to check in with Austin.

“Hey! There’s a person walking up our driveway!” Austin called from the upstairs. He was probably looking out a window.

“It’s probably the mailman. He gets excited over the simplest things.” Pam whispered to me. I grinned.

“I do not! Oh, and it’s Alan!” Austin gasped. I wanted to race to the door and throw my arms around him, but maybe he was here to take something back. Instead, I slunk back to the kitchen to hide beside Pam. The doorbell rang.

No one moved to answer it.

“Hey, someone should get that!” Austin called.

“Can you get that?” Pam asked. She was busy with lunch and she tossed me a curious glance. I shook my head.

“Um…uh…I’m shirtless!” Austin called back. Pam rolled her eyes with a smirk.

“And why is that?”

“I write better songs when I’m shirtless!” Austin yelled. Maybe Alan should try that, and we wouldn’t fight so often…

“Fine, I’ll get it.” I grumbled and started to the door. I could tell Austin was watching me from the second story balcony. I went to the door and braced myself for the explosion of anger. Alan was known to hold a grudge.

“Roxanne?” Alan whispered. I looked up to him after staring at my feet for a moment.

“Alan.” I said curtly. He sniffled, tears running down his eyes. I looked at him curiously. Austin whistled a quiet tune and closed the door behind him as he walked back into his practice room. Alan reached for my hand and I stepped away.

“Come in.” I nudged inside. Pam poked her head around the corner.

“Lunch, Alan?”

“N-no thanks.” He choked out. I led him to a table in the dining room and let him sit down. I sat across from him.

“Did you need something?” I restrained myself from crying like he was. He nodded, looking up to me. I couldn’t meet his eyes. I looked down at my folded hands instead.

“Yes, actually. I need you.” I looked up, surprised. He wiped his eyes with the corner of his jacket sleeve.

“Oh really? You didn’t seem to need me for the past six days.” I shrugged. He blushed red and let out another streak of tears.

“No, that’s because I was stupid. I was me, actually. And I was stubborn. And I was extremely dumb. So basically, I was acting like me.” He started. I looked at him and he took another breath. “I thought that writing the song and getting it perfect so that I could be proud of it was the most important thing in my life. I thought that it would be the one thing I would be proud of most. But I was so, so wrong.”

“Really?” I questioned softly, kind of sarcastically. He nodded, looking back up to me.

“I spent so much time on the song, I didn’t look up to see the thing I was proud of most: You.” He whispered. I melted under that.

I stayed silent.

“This song was supposed to be my biggest accomplishment, the one thing I could show off and say that, ‘hey, this is mine.’ But I missed the point entirely. It was you. You’re the one thing I can brag to everyone and say, ‘hey, she’s mine!’ I was paying more attention to some stupid song than to you, the thing I’m proud of most.” I put my head in my hands, not even looking up to him.

“Please, will you be mine again? Can you forgive me and give me another chance? I can’t promise that I’ll never be stupid again, because let’s face it, it’s me.” He laughed softly.

“It’s true! He does a lot of stupid things! Like swerving to avoid running over a turtle on the freeway.” Austin called from his room.

“Not helping, Aus!” Alan yelled up. I smiled into my hands.

“Anyways, but I can promise that I’ll be better and I’ll improve and that I’ll take care of you, the thing I’m proud of most.” He smiled through the tears. I looked back up at him.

“Will you make me popcorn?” I asked slowly.

“Yes.” He answered firmly.

“And can I take a nap on the couch?”

“I’ll cuddle with you, of course. Whether you like it or not.”

“Can you finally sleep back in our bed?”

“It’s better than the couch.”

“And will you go to the park with me? I like the swings.” I smiled at the last one.

“I’ll go to the moon and back if you want to.” He matched my reassuring smile. Pam came around the corner.

“I told you, three whole days.” Pam grinned. I stood up, getting my pack. I thanked the couple for letting me stay at their house. Alan and I drove back, parking, and going back up to our living room.

“I was serious about that popcorn thing.” I yawned as I settled on the couch. His little bunker had been removed. Everyone looked clear once again. Alan put a blanket around me, going into the kitchen to make popcorn. He came back, curling up next to me, drawing me against his chest.

“Thanks.” I mumbled quietly, trying to eat popcorn and fall asleep at the same time. Alan chuckled and kissed the hollow behind my ear that made me shiver.

“Seventy two hours of the worst day of my life.” He muttered.

“When I left?”

“Anytime you weren’t with me, baby.” He kissed me again before I smiled and fell back asleep.

Notes

So this lovely one shot is for xXTheKilljoyGirlXx! I hope I fixed your Alan Ashby craving XD

Don't forget to keep on requesting! I'm anxious to keep on writing!