The First Punch

As Ahren pulled up to the, what used to be, small café on the busiest road within a mile of Lian’s house. I recognized it as the place Lian and I would go after school to just hangout. Since our high school days this diner has grown to what is now the best café in town.

“Alex, meet Industrial Grind.. This place is fucking great!” He turned the key then pulled it out of the car. I smiled and got out.

“I haven’t been here in forever!!” Ahren looked at me coming to my side.

“You’ve been here before?!” He said walking to the door. I followed him and went through the door when he pulled it open.

“Yup, Lian and I went here all the time when we were in high school.” He chuckled and one of the waitresses led us to a table by the fireplace. She set down the menus and silverware.

“Do you know what you want to drink Today? By the way my name is.. oh fuck me..” She looked at me and must’ve recognized me. I wondered where Ray had gone.. I guess she’s here now.. “Alex.” She nodded not making eye contact with me.

“Ray.” I did the same but just looking her up and down. Ahren looked to me then to her.
“You two know each other?” He asked, with his slight Aussie accent poking out. I looked to him and slightly smiled.

“Yeah, we’re both merch girls for PTV.. Well I am.. She kinda just.. Quit.. It’ll be a lot different without her.” I looked back to her, “I’ll have mint tea…” Ray flashed me a smile and turned to Ahren.

“Ahren, what would you like?” She asked and he chuckled.

“And how do you know my name?” He smiled looking at Ray.

“Well duh you’re Ahren Stringer.. The Amity Affliction.. You’re the clean singer..” she said blushing.

“Well I didn’t know that we had such a large fan base here.. Anyways I will have a chai tea.” He smiled and she nodded then walked away. “She was a PTV merch girl? I could see her being an Echosmith merch girl.” He laughed, messing with the flame of the candle on the table.

“Yeah we had been doing merch girl stuff for a long while now, together.” I said while watching his hands.

“Okay.. I’m gonna be cheesy for a second here. Tell me 10 things about yourself I may not know.” He smiled looking up to me.

“Well, I’m a SuicideGirl. Do you know what that is?” I asked him, moving his hand away from the wax that he was dipping his fingers in. He laughed and looked at me again.

“Yeah.. They’re the really sexy alternative models right?" I giggled and nodded my head. "Oh shit that's so cool!" He said looking into my eyes.

"Yeah so I do that. Uh I had an abusive father, my mother commuted suicide.." You could see a pained expression on his face as he reached my my hand which was picking at the scars on my arm.

"I'm so sorry Alex.." He sighed.

"It's okay. I have a brother that's 26 me left us so he could make more money and broaden his photography.. Uh I moved I with Lian when I was 17. I lost my virginity when I was 17 to a guy I met that day... How many is that?" I said looking down at the table.

"That's enough... It's all good." Ahren started rubbing my hand to try and soothe what was an anxiety attack coming. I felt tears start to well up in my eyes.

“I’ve to go to the bathroom..” I said grabbing my bag running to the bathroom.. I loved it here because they had individual unisex bathrooms.. So private and not gender demanding. Once I got into one of them I locked the door and I went to the mirror. I leaned on the sink and stared at myself in the mirror, watching tears start to stream down my face. I quickly pulled up my bag and dug through it. I pulled out a small little envelope. I started to cry harder and my sight got very blurry. I opened it and held the contents in my hand, staring intently at it. It was shiny and clean.. And ready for use.. I needed this. I did what I had to do, what I felt were old habits that were never going to go away. I felt calmer but still strung up. In cases like this back when I was a teenager I would do more, and more, and more until the feeling went away.

Knowing nothing different, I continued to do as I knew only how to do.. The sink had drops, of the fluid that was supposed to be coursing through my veins, all over it. I started to sob.. I was supposed to feel better and not cry.. I felt better but I couldn’t help but cry. I put my back to the wall and slid down right next to the door. I closed my eyes and let my left arm fall to the ground. I had my head to my knees when I heard someone running near the bathrooms.
All of a sudden I heard them stop in front of my door.

“No, Alex no… Alex-you-no.. No. You’ll be okay.. Just let me in!” I heard Ahren say, it sounded like he was so scared. I started to sob harder as I heard his voice. I never wanted to cause anyone pain, only myself.. I reached up and unlocked the door. He pushed into the room and I could see some tears forming in his eyes. He looked at me, shut and locked the door, and rushed to my side.

“I-I’m s-so-“ He cut me off by wrapping his arm around me and kissing me.

“Alex.. Fuck and apology.. you shouldn’t be sorry for anything. You’re human.. humans find coping skills that work for them.. And if that’s yours then it’s yours.. You just… need to be safe.. You-you gotta.. try..” He tried to finish his sentence but his voice was breaking. He coughed and looked into my eyes, holding the back of my neck and wiping the falling tears off of my tear stained face. “I will always be here for you..” He kissed me again then pulled away. He looked at my arm and went to pick it up. I winced and he let go. I slowly brought up my arm so he could see better.. “Hmm… what else do you have in your bag?” He said reaching over and grabbing my bag which had fallen on the ground next to the sink.

“May I?” He asked, and I nodded in response. He dug through my bag until he found a pad and a bandana.. “This may work… but I gotta clean you up first.” He jumped up and I slowly got up and followed him to the sink. By now I wasn’t crying I was just puffy eyed and numb. He turned on the water to the perfect warm, but not too warm.. With soapy water he washed the blood off of the sink and off my arm. He was so careful about it and I admired that… He knew just how to handle it so it wouldn’t hurt me.

“What are you gonna do with that stuff?” I asked looking at the pad and the bandana on the back of the sink. He looked into my eyes.

“I’m going to help you..” He said nicely as he grabbed paper towels to dry off my arm. He slowly and easily patted my arm dry and discarded them in the trash. He looked at my arm to make sure not veins were hit and nothing was too deep. He sighed in relief. “Good.. It’s not bad..” He then took the pad out of the wrapper and peeled it off. He put the fabric part to my arm and the sticky side up. He then wrapped it with the bandana and tied it… Damn.. I would’ve never thought of that..

“You’re amazing…” I said to him putting my arms around him and hugging him. He put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “Fuck breakfast, let’s get out of here..” I said into his chest before pulling away from him.

“Get out of here as in??” He said as he winked. I let out a quiet giggle and bent over to get my bag.

“I mean let’s do something fun.. I could use cheering up.” I sniffled and he rubbed my back. “Does it smell metallic in here?” I asked, heading for the door. Ahren nodded and laughed..
“Maybe we should tell them that the bathrooms need to be cleaned.” He flashed me a smile as we walked out of the bathroom. As we walked through the café he dropped $10 at the table and we ran out of the café laughing hand in hand. Once we got out we went to his car and hopped in.

He started it and quickly drive away. I turned up the station loud which was the same station from last nights drinking game. After Bulls In The Bronx ended, Don't Lean On Me came on... Ahren was so happy that he turned it up so loud I swear everyone in the city could hear it.. When his part came on he sang it and was smiling so bright. When the song ended he quickly looked at me and I was still laughing. I reached over and turned down the music just a bit.

"So what are we doing today?" I asked smiling.

"Well at 5 I've to go to a gig, 6 is sound check, and 7 we play. So it's 1 now. I was thinking we could go to some shops or something. Do you know any?" He asked tempted to turn the music back up.

"Yeah keep going straight until you get to a sign that says 'thrift' and it's all beaten up. It's like my favourite shop!" I giggled and he continued to drive. I turned the music back up and we both sang along to Part Of Me by Neck Deep. When we reached the sign he pulled in and parked at one of the spots closest to the doors.

"This is it?" He said looking at an old 2 story building that looked like it would be haunted. I nodded and got out of the car.

"You comin?!" I asked walking backwards to the door. "Or are you scared?" I said teasing him. He let out a smile and got out of the car.

"Never."

Notes

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