Human After All.

Rare. Is what it was becoming. Rare, that Devin and I are not attached at the hip. This was one of the times when we were definitely not separated. He was laying across my thighs, his head resting on one of the pillows I had out on the couch for Blake. It was a lazy day apparently, because most of my close friends I made at Warped Tour, where all lazed around the RV floor, and chairs; basically anywhere they could make themselves comfortable.

Blake was sitting the other side of me, Andy was sitting in front of me, weirdly enough leaning against my legs. Chris somehow managed to lounge over a chair that was about half his size, and make it look comfortable. Ricky was on the other one, him being small enough, he could curl up in it and probably still have room for someone else. Josh was laying on his back on the floor, scrolling through his phone. Ashley and CC were playing a card game in the kitchen area, while the rest of us were watching Batman.

And the only reason why we were doing that, was because of a certain lanky man that was leaning against my legs as if I were a pillow.

His argument? We didn't tell him right away that me and Devin where ‘a thing’ as he had put so adequately. A thing. I could think of a million different things too call Devin and I’s relationship, but a ‘thing’ wasn't one of them.

But I did find amusement in the fact that it took him almost two and half weeks to figure out that we were ‘a thing’. Literally he was the last to know, even the rest of his band knew before him, hell the world knew before he did. Devin didn't even tell anyone, he just let it happen. Post one picture too a social media site, and let everyone else figure it out. I couldn't have done it better. And I rarely use social media, but when I seen the responses, or at least the positive ones, I laughed.

Because the majority thought Devin was already gay; because if a guy can look that sexy wearing womens clothes, that must mean he’s gay. The funniest and stupidest thing I heard so far in all my life.

Although, I wasn't aware that this said picture was taken at the time, because a certain crazy haired man took it while I was asleep. At a very flattering angle, as I was told. Showing off my ‘delicious bod’. From then on whenever I had Devin over, I made sure too where an actual shirt that covered the front of my body; never mind protecting the back anymore, because it was the front that got me into complex and mind shattering situations. Who would have thought that. I still haven’t shown him my scars, but that’s besides the point.

I felt Devins fingers rub my palm of the hand he was holding, like he was trying to get my attention.

I looked over at him, raising my eyebrow at him in question. He just smiled that adorably cute smile that lit up his whole face when he was happy. It was completely infectious, because I felt my lips raise in a smile to.

I gripped his hand and raised it too my face, kissing his knuckles. I mouthed to him ‘This movie sucks.’ he nodded and mouthed back, ‘I know.’

“I heard that.” Andy snipped.

“Heard what, Biersack?” Chris asked him, Andy turned around and glared at me. I shrugged, shaking my head, feigning innocence. Devin gave it away by laughing at Andy’s annoyed yet confused face. He turned back around and continued watching Batman Begins. I turned back too Devin. ‘I love you.’ I mouthed to him. I saw him blush, and mouth back ‘I love you to.’

Can he be more adorable? I watched as he sat up and pulled me down alongside him. No, I don't think he could get more adorable. I thought as I cuddled beside him. “You took my pillow away!” I heard Blake and Andy whine at the same time.

“Poor baby.” I stuck my tongue out at them. I wrapped my arms around my man, and snuggled against him. For the first time in a long time, I felt lifted, as if I was being pulled out of the darkness. Everything was falling into place, little pieces at a time.

“I’m hungry!” Josh whined. “Me too!”

“Me three!”

“If one of you says ‘me four’, I’m going to smack you.” Blake growled. I laughed. “I’ll get us something, what do you guys want?”

“Wings!”

“Pizza!”

“Beer!”

“Ashley, food not drinks.” Chris glared at the Black Veil Brides bassist player.

“Okay okay, um, something spicy!” I shook my head. “Alright, alright.” I turned my head up towards Devin, and asked. “Any special requests, love?” He shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”

“You sure.” I got up and leaned down to stare him in the eyes. “I’m going out anyway, and I don’t mind going to get something for you.”

“I’m fine, I’ll probably just sneak some food from them.” He glanced towards his friends. “I’m getting enough for everyone, I was just wondering if there any specials requests.”

I grinned. He gripped my shirt, and pulled me down so he could kiss me. His lips were soft and moist, and extremely hot against mine.

“PDA, GUYS, COME ON, ENOUGH PDA.” we pulled away, and laughed at Andy’s outburst.

Devin let out this giggle that I just loved to hear. “That was my special request.” He laughed. "Ah, well if thats what you want." I leaned back down and kissed him again, making him squirm as I placed my hand on the side of his face. "I want food!" Josh hit the side of my leg. I pulled away and sighed dramatically. "As you command oh lazy ass." Giving him a nudge on his side with my foot.




In the end, I wounded up carrying three bags back home. One was purely chicken wings, the other thai food, and the rest was soda, energy drinks, water, whatever I could grab and carry. These guys put a lovely dent in my paycheck, but as it seems, they were apparently going to pay me back. How sweet.

I turned around the corner and walked into the venue, ID card in my mouth, showing the guard so I could get back in. Sadly for me, I still had a somewhat long hike in store for me, all the way across the lot where it was crowded and busy as fuck. So I went up to the grassy area that no one put there bus, RV, truck, trailer, which I was grateful for because I wasn't in the mood to play bumper cars with everyone.

I was about a quarter way there, when I realized I still had my ID in my mouth. I sighed, hearing the weird hissing noise I made with the plastic card in my mouth. I reluctantly set the bags down, so I could put it back in my pocket; slightly annoyed since I had to readjust the bags so they weren't going to make a mess.

They definitely owe me for this. I thought to myself. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I didn't notice that there was someone coming up beside me. “Ah, that was you, little Ali.” I froze. That couldn't be him. That shouldn't be him. That was not his voice. I looked too my right, and my insides clenched in a fear I had hoped I could forget.

But life wasn't so nice.

“What are you doing here?” I growled out. “Ooh, don’t sound so mean, I missed you-”

“Save it. What do you want.” My tongue tied itself up with the name I hadn't said in a long time. “Elijah?” I ground out, a foul bitterness resting on my taste buds just hearing the name come from my lips.

“Oh, I just came to see Warped Tour, I remembered how much you liked it.” His green eye and blue eye where as sharp and cold as ever. His tone feigning a warmth I would not fall for.

His short black hair was slicked back, and I almost wanted to gag at the sight. “Bull.” I adjusted the bags, and started walking away. I wanted to get as far away from him as I possibly could. I heard his footsteps follow behind me. “Going somewhere, Ali?”

“Don’t follow me.” I hoped too sound monotone, but I was pissed, and I felt it come through in my voice.

“Aw, don’t be like that, I came here to see you after all.”

“How did you even get here?” I asked thinking that he probably snuck in here.

“A car of course.”

“Thats not what I meant, and you know it.” I whirled around, the plastic bags tightening its grip on my fingers as they twisted with me. “How are you here, this is employees and artists only. How did you get past security!”

“Why Ali, you should know I have my ways.” So he lied, and possibly snuck in. Great.

“Don’t call me Ali.” So much for not letting him get too me, either.

“What, does the right to call you that only reserved for your new lover boy?” He sneered, and I had a half a mind to punch it off his face.

I rolled my eyes, turning back around, trying to get away from this, this stupid bull he was trying to pull me into. “I think I struck a nerve.”

“Whatever.” I started walking again. “Don’t walk away from me.” He grabbed my shoulder, and I tensed up, stopping in my tracks. “Don’t touch me.” My voice hardened, and I felt his grip on me tighten.

“You know, I've missed you Alistair, in more ways than one.” His tone was sickly seductive, and I wanted to throw up.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” I hissed out each word. His touch was like acid, and it was burning through my shirt. I felt phantom pains on my back, and I just wanted to get away from him.

He let go, and I let out a silent breath of relief. “Just stay away from me, I don’t want anything to do with you.” I turned around and I saw that sinister smirk I used to see in my nightmares. “What if I want something to do with you?”

I grimaced. “You don’t get too decide that.” I glared at him with all the hatred I had in me. “I don’t want anything to do with you.” I repeated. “And I don’t want you near me, I don’t want to even talk to you.” I tried to reign in the words I wanted to unleash, but I kept them in check, because if I said them out loud, they would give him power over me. At least that’s what I believed. I wanted to leave the past in the past, and now part of it was staring me in the face, threatening to shatter what peace I had made with myself.

“Why Alistair, its almost like you hate me.”

“Hate you doesn't even begin to describe it. I loathe you.”

“I wonder if your little Ghost knows about me. I wonder if he's seen the marks I left on you.” He must have seen the way my face paled when he mentioned Devin. “Oh, you're keeping it from him?” He laughed.

“My my my, I wonder how he will react when he finds out.” I knew he was trying to plant these annoying thoughts in my head, planting the fear of rejection in me. I was going to show Devin, just not this early in the relationship, it was too soon, too real. I don’t know how to show anyone. The only person who had seen them where Blake, and that was a fluke.

“That’s none of your business. Devin and I are not your business.” I turned around yet again, and this time he didn’t follow me. Although I swore I heard. “Oh, you’ll find that it is my business.” come from him, but just ignored the possibility and pressed on towards home with a heavy heart.



My head was turmoil. I couldn't not think about what happened earlier. My back was aching from the phantom pains that I wished I could forget. I've been sitting here in my tiny bathroom, with the lights out, trying to get my control back. Trying to put on the happy face I perfected when the lashes on my back healed into the scars they are now. The pain seared my back, like someone was running a hot blade down my back, and then across and then upwards. It was everywhere and I couldn't escape it.

Why was I a coward?

I heard someone knock on the door. “Alistair, are you okay?” Devins voice came threw the door, muffled slightly and sounded confused. “Yeah, I’m fine, I’ll be out in a sec.”

“Alright.” I heard his footsteps falter at the bathroom, like he didn't want to leave yet. I almost jumped up and went to him, too reassure him and just hold him. It was so heart wrenching, and I felt so bad for doing this too him. I was wasting time I could be using cuddling him, and kissing him, watching him laugh.

But at the same time, I couldn't face him, and explain why this was happening. I don’t know how he was going to react when I did tell him, why I go through these kinds of pains.

How do you tell your boyfriend, that the reason you haven’t dated anyone in four years is because your ex whipped you till the point where you were half dead and took so much therapy and bad decisions that you’re afraid to open up too anyone.

But Devin was different. I knew that more than anything. Because I fell for him the moment I met him, and there was this pull towards him I couldn't deny from the start. He was so much more than what I deserved. He deserved a guy who didn't come with so many scars, so many fears, and so much anger inside that some days it hurt to breath. Maybe if he fell for a woman, maybe this would be easier.

I shook my head, feeling my hair tickle the side of my face. Stop right there. I told myself. You aren't helping anything, you dumb fuck. I staggered to my feet, turning on the light, and leaned against the sink. I blinked at my reflection, watching those odd grey eyes I have stare at me. I turned on the sink, letting the cold water run. I watched as my hand made its way too my face, feeling the prickly stubble on my chin. Need to shave soon.

I cupped my hands under the water and splashed my face, sucking in a breath when its iciness hit me. The pain was slowly ebbing away, once I focused enough too the point that it just disappeared. Once a certain person got itself cut out from my mind, and replaced with the one that was waiting for me outside, I felt better. I blew out a breath, and grabbed a cloth, quickly drying my face.

I pulled the door open, and flicked off the light. The sight wasn't exactly how I left it. Everyone squished in at the small little dining table one gets in an RV. They had pulled over some chairs, and I saw an empty one sitting beside Josh. I strided over too it and fell into it with a heavy sigh. My eyes closed for a second, too collect the conversation around me.

Andy was going on about some new songs he was writing up, Blake was saying something about gay marriage, and about three of the others were speaking up intently, asking questions, making the whole topic awkward. Some by the sounds of it where just intent on eating.

It was noisy, and it was a very nice distraction. I felt someones hand on my shoulder, and an angelic voice in my ear. “You took my seat.”

I laughed, opening my eyes to see Devin hovering over me. “Well, you're just going to have to sit on me then.” I opened my arms and I watched as he came around too the front of me, a skeptic look on his face. I leaned forward, grabbing his hips, twisting him so he was sitting on my lap. He let out a small groan of protest, but snuggled into my side nonetheless. I snaked my arms around him, enjoying how soft and worn his clothes where, how easy it was too hold him against me, how he fit in my arms perfectly, how he smelled sweet and spicy all at once. I rested my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

I loved how easily I could get lost in simple things like this, that had anything to do with Devin. Touching his shirt, his skin, the way he smelled, his heartbeat that thundered loudly against my ear when I put my head on his chest. It was becoming my own personal heaven. It was like he was washing away all my past mistakes, all the pain by just being right there.

It was clear to me that we were attracting everyone's attention because I felt the room go silent. I opened my eyes and I saw everyone staring at us. “What?” I mumbled.

No one said anything, just kept giving us weird looks, and now and then they glanced at each other as if reading eachothers facial expressions and looked back at us. I looked back at Blake for answers, and she shrugged while saying. “I think they’re trying to say in a ‘non gay’ way that you guys look extremely adorable right now.” I smiled, squeezing Devin tighter.



~


It was becoming late evening and I got called in to help take down the sets, the stages, tents, etc. So, that was why I didn’t have work this morning. Michelle switched me too the night shift. I had no complaints.

I had left everyone as they were, conversing, playing games, movies in my RV, figuring they would sort themselves out when they needed too.

I rolled the last of the equipment into the trailer, wiping the sweat that appeared on my brow. That was hopefully the last one. Since I was doing this for a couple of hours now. I went to find Roy too see if there was anything else that needed to be taken down, in case there was something one of the others missed. Which a lot of the time that happened.

It was quiet out tonight, more so than I was expecting. As I made my way towards Roy and Michele's bus, I was finally able to relax more since the incident with E earlier. But I still couldn't shake off the feeling that he was going to make things harder for me, if he was going too follow me. I knew better than too think that he was just here at the venue out of pure coincidence. He just came here to warn me that he was here, too see if I would react.

He wanted too see if I was afraid of him after what he did. Afraid of him four years ago? Yes, I was terrified of every shadow. Now on the other hand, not so much. Not for my sake anyway. I was scared he would try to hurt the ones I cared about. I couldn't not think of Devin. If anyone hurt him, there would be hell to pay. A hell that offered physical pain as a type of release from what was being dished out.

“Alistair.”

Yes that sounded like quite the ideal thing to do.

“Alistair!”

Very ideal.

“ALISTAIR!”

I whirled around. Devin was stalking up to me. “Devin?” I asked, confused. “I’ve been yelling your name for five minutes, you were really out of it.”

“Sorry, love, just thinking. What are you doing out here, I would have thought you and the guys would have left too the next venue.” He glanced around, his cheeks turning a light pink.

“Slight problem with that. Most of them are passed out in your house on wheels.” I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “Really.” I shrugged, feeling indifferent about the situation. It really didn't sound too bad. “No ones in my bed are they?” I asked. Devin lips lifted upwards into a smile. “No. I love how that's the only thing you’re actually worried about.”

I lifted up my hands, shrugging again. “A mans gotta have his priorities.” Smiling along with him. I opened my arms, and pouted slightly, hoping he would come give me a hug. I really needed it. He gave me a sidelong glance, and reluctantly gave in too my stare.

His hands graced my sides , causing a shiver of pleasure too run up my back. I put my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. “How was work?” He mumbled.

“Good, I’m little tired, but good.” I murmured. “How are you?”

“Tired, but I wanted to come see how you were.” I pulled back a little too look him in the face. “You seemed a little out of it earlier. And when you came back with the food before that, you looked spooked, and pained.”

He noticed all that. I chuckled lightly. Damn.


He paused and looked directly in my eyes. “I was worried.” He admitted. “I don’t know a lot about you. Actually I practically know nothing.” He stopped mid sentence, his mouth hanging open as if he was speechless.

“And I know about the same about you as you do about me. But I like where this is going.” He glared at me, and grinned.

“Just ask.” My eyes widened comically. “And we’ll go from there.” He looked down as if in thought.

“Hey, Alistair, you’re done for the night, until we get to the next venue. Better get going.” I heard Roy from a distance, and when I looked over, he was waving to me. “Alright, thanks Roy!” I waved back.

“Do you want me to walk you back too your guys bus?” I asked, turning back too Devin. “Um.”
He looked extremely embarrassed and annoyed. “Slight problem with that.”

“And that is?” I asked, confused. “Our bus already left.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” he licked his lips, and I tried very hard not to kiss him while he was in the middle of explaining.

“And I checked the BVB bus, and its gone to.”

“So, whoever is still asleep on the RV is going to be riding with me?” He nodded. “I have no problem with this.”

“Whys that.”

“Hey, I get too have you by my side again when I sleep. I don’t see anything to worry about there.”

We started walking back towards the RV. “If you don’t have a problem with that.” He looked at me with questioning eyes. He was probably wondering why I was saying it was okay too sleep together again, after the first time when he crawled in bed with me. I put a little distance with that, simply because I was worried he would see my scars.

But now I just wanted him close to me.

“No, I don’t have a problem with that.” I reassured him. “So, what’s your favorite color?” He asked.

I almost tripped because the question caught me off guard. “Uh, it’s blue.”

“That was random.”

“You said ask, and we’ll go from there. Now it’s your turn.”

“Okay. Um, what’s your favorite color?” I grinned cheekily, not really knowing where to go from there.

“Green. Where are you from?”

“I can’t actually remember, I've moved around alot, so no time to have roots, you know.”

“So, okay, how about this, whats the town you grew up in, in your childhood.”

“We've been there before actually. Scranton. That was when I was a teenager. And my childhood, we were in Raleigh, I think it was called.”

“You grew up in Scranton?!”

“For a couple years, yes. Why?”

“You know Chris is from there, right?”

“Well, yes. And I don’t recall meeting him before Warped, so.” I laughed at his stunned expression. We arrived at the RV, and walked inside. The place was chaotic, but only to the point there were bodies lying all over the floor, couch, chairs. Jesus.

While Devin kept asking questions, I somehow maneuvered everyone into a proper sleeping position. Even had to wake a few of them so I could make up the two beds that were in the living area and kitchen. I asked Devin if he could hold on Andy, since he was a little unsteady on his feet, since he was tired. I pulled the table apart and put the table top into the position so it would hold the cushion that went over top of it, I pushed the cushion into place and it fitted like a puzzle piece going into the proper area. I led Andy over too the now table bed, and he immediately rolled over to the other side of it, and fell back to sleep. I helped Ashley get up off the floor and put him beside Andy.

“Do you mind passing me that blanket?” I asked Devin. He nodded and pulled the blue blanket I had folded up on the counter and fluffed it out, passing it too me so I could put it over the two sleeping beauties.

“Alright, I think that’s everyone. And I already took the blocks away from the tires so I should be able to go.”

Devin looked at me curiously. “I still have to drive too the next venue, hon. You can go get some sleep if you’re tired.”

“I’m good, I still want to stay up and talk.” I smiled brightly. “I was hoping you would say that.” I went over to the fridge, grabbing two energy drinks and handed them too Devin. “Go sit up front, I’ll just turn off the lights back here, and we’re good to go.”



Minutes later, I found myself on the highway towards Orlando, Florida. This should be an interesting trip. I looked over at Devin, who was snuggled up in the seat across from me. “You got quiet.” I commented.

He took a sip of his monster, and gave a quiet ‘hmmm’. “Just trying to think of what to ask, I’m kind of drawing a blank.”

“Okay, then let me. Where are you from?”

He looked at me grinning. “You know that, though.”

“Indulge me.”

“Okay, I’m from Los Angeles, and now I live just outside New York.”

“How was your high school experience?”

He gave me a look that said ‘are you fucking kidding me?’. “Terrible, you?”

“Iffy. Not the best, but not the worst.”

“Fair enough. Who was your first kiss?”

I smirked. “Counting as a first girlfriend or boyfriend, or as an innocent kiss as a kid?” I asked. He blushed as I glanced over at him.

“First girlfriend.” He had the nerve too smirk back.

“Maria Adams. High school crush. She broke up with me three months into the relationship. Only got to second base.” I shrugged.

“First boyfriend?” he asked awkwardly. I raised my eyebrow in question. “Mike Mceachern.”

“What about you, who was your first girlfriend?” He blushed a tomato red.

“Sam Connors. We went out for a year, then I found out she was just using me too meet other guys that I was friends with, the fight we had was huge.”

I gave him a sympathetic look, knowing the feeling. “Yeah, I can relate.”

“Mm?”

“Yeah, Mike. Apparently, it was all just a big joke to him. Hurt like a bitch when I heard that. But that was also around the time, I realized I like both guys and girls so, I just kept moving ahead.”

“Mikes a dick.”

“Yes he is.” I agreed, smiling how pissed Devin sounded at my ex.

We talked like this for hours, and I loved every minute of it. Listening to him talk about his past, about the things he enjoys, made me happy. When we finally got into the city, I noticed he fell asleep. “Devin.” I cooed softly.

He stirred. “Go to sleep baby, I’ll join you shortly.”

“Mmmm.” He made a whining noise, getting up slowly from the passenger seat. He walked over to me. “But I don’t wanna. Not without you.”

I chuckled, moving my arm. “Come here.” I petted my leg, and he crawled onto me, sitting on my lap as I continued to drive through the streets of Orlando. He snuggled his face into my neck, falling back to sleep easily, by the sounds of his deep breaths.

I found myself a cuddler, that was for sure.

We finally arrived at the venue, and by now I could vaguely see a dim light of the sun trying to come up. I put the RV in park, and turned it off. I looked down at my sleeping boyfriend. Watching the way he breathed, the way his face softened, almost like a child. I kissed his cheek. I watched as his lips went upwards in a lazy smile, then fell back down as his sleep deepened.

I thought about how lucky I was to have him in my life now.

Elijah could go fuck himself, he would never come between us. If he knew what was good for him, he would stay away from Devin.

For now I had to focus on the future, and Devin was a big part of it.

Surely, I had suffered enough? And now I was being given a chance to live my life with Devin by my side?

Notes

Ah. Finally. I was so picky with this one.

Especially with the part that Alistair sees Elijah again after so long.

Haaaa, anywhore.

Enjoy. :3