It’s almost been three weeks since I’ve asked Alan out. In all honesty , it was Tino’s idea , but I didn’t agree on it because he asked me to, I did it because, as crazy as it sounds , I’m in love with Alan.

I know what you must be thinking, if I really loved him I wouldn’t still be doing that stupid bet, but I can’t back out now. I’ve tried so many times, but my so called friends wouldn’t let me.
They always hated Alan without even knowing him, they just hate him, they want to see him suffer. I should never have agreed on this, but if I hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have met the most incredible person in the world. Alan makes me happy, I’ve never felt this good in my whole existence and I’m gonna fuck it up because of my stupidity.

I’m an horrible person. I’m aware that I haven’t known Alan for a long time , but with him everything feels right, kissing him feels right, hugging him feels right, spending all day with him feels right.

Loving him feels right.

I need to talk to someone, I’m going to turn to the person I love and trust the most*

“Mom, can I talk to you about something ?” I asked with a hint of hesitation in voice
“ Sure thing honey, come here” she patted the sit next to her “What’s bugging you love ?”
“Um, I’ve met this bo-, um, person and I really love them, but I know that I’m going to hurt them in the end”
“ Why ? How could you be so sure ”
“ Don’t be mad at me please ?” I swallowed the lump in my throat before I spoke again “ Two of my classmates dared me to date this person for a month and a half and I agreed ..”
“Austin Robert Carlile, why on earth would you do something like that ? “ She asked with a shocked expression on her features
“I don’t know ! I’m stupid okay ? I hate myself even more each day for agreeing on this, I know what you’re thinking Mom, but I regret... I really do. I don’t want to hurt Alan” I covered my mouth with my hand. What have I done
“Alan ? So.. you like a boy ?”
“Mom don’t hate me please” I could feel the tears willing up my eyes by now
“Honey, why would I hate you ? You will always be my son, whoever you love. “ She engulfed me in a tight hug. I sighed in relief. I’ve read so many things about teens getting kick out by their parents for being gay, I didn’t want my parents to hate me, I already do a pretty good job at it.

Mom and I talked for a while, it helped me to feel a little better about the whole situation going on. I have to tell Alan the naked truth, even if it’s going to hurt him, I need to be 100% honest with him. I want to tell him everything face to face, in private, not in front of the whole school, but there’s one last problem, Tino. How am I going to convince him to let me tell everything to Alan.. He won’t take it well. What if he tries to hurt me. Worse, what if he tries to hurt Alan ? I would never forgive myself if this happens.

Either way, I’m screwed. Alan will never look at me the same way anymore , all he will feel towards me is pure hatred and disgust. Who could blame him, I’m a monster after all.

Notes

Hey guys ! I'm sooooo sorry, I know that, once again I haven't updated in like two months. This chapter should be 10 times longer but oh well. i wasn't really inspired , I knew how I wanted to start this story and I know exactly how I want it to end but I have to put something in-between haha, that's the hardest part

(english is not my first language so sorry if some of my sentences don't make sense at all)

Anyway ! I hope you will like this (short) chapter