The Throw-Aways

Alex, Jack, Austin, Alan, Tino, Phil, and Aaron were all silent as they filed through the doorway and stood in the front lounge. Jay stood up, eyes wide with shock. I stood in the entrance to the bunks, waiting for their news.

Tino’s sad eyes looked up to me. Not one person even breathed. Phil had his arms in front of him and slowly turned around. This is when my heart shattered.

Jake lay, cold and still, in Phil’s arms. I started shaking-badly.

No.

No.

No.

Not. My. Dog.

“Jake?” I whispered half-heartedly. I only uttered those words in the hope that my dog would look up and wiggled his curly tail at me. There was no such luck.

I met Phil in the middle as he held out my dog to me. I reached up and stroked his cold head. There was no sparkle in those eyes. I’ve lost a part again, and he’s lying in my best friend’s arms.

My soul’s a sorry state. It felt like the hiss of snakes were the only sounds in the room. No, that was just my sharp breath. Tears poured down my eyes.

Jake da Pug was the last part of my family that I had left. He was all I had of my mother. He was all I had of my father. Jake was part of my family and now it was gone. It was dead.

There was no more for me.

We all stared at the limp body of my dog for several minutes, as if a spark of life would just hop back into him. We would all turn around and act like nothing had happened. It would be like the dog had never escaped and he wasn’t….dead.

“What happened?” I choked out, keeping my hand entangled in the dull colored fur.

“Hit by a car.” Phil told me softly. I let out silent sobs, my face twisting into quiet cries of pain.

“No, I closed the door….I know I closed the door!” I broke. Austin wrapped an concerned arm around my shoulder and I rested my head on my dog’s back. The silver ampersand logo that Alan had dyed in his hair was still there, just not as brightly as before.

Jay had a false frown on her face the entire time. Jack looped an arm around her waist.

Had Austin not noticed it was Jay all along that Jack was dating!?

I gently took my dog into my arms, his cold face settling into my good shoulder. It was awkward to carry him, but I didn’t care. I had just lost one of my best friends.

And I knew I had closed the door….

“I’m sorry about Jake.” Jay pouted, as if her comments would make the world all better. As if rainbows and unicorns would appear and I would just shrug this travesty off and say, “Oh well!”

I hadn’t forgotten to close the door.

No, Jay had opened it.

I was sure of that.

“Get out.” I growled to her forlorn face. She twisted in confusion. Jack just looked surprised. Alex raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry, what?” She asked kindly, as if she didn’t hear me before. I held Jake’s body tighter to me.

Jay. Had. Killed. My. Dog.

This was just ten steps over the line.

“You heard me. Get. Out. Now.” I growled again, tears still staining my pink cheeks. Jack glowered.

“Hey, don’t talk to Jillian like that.” He reprimanded. I scowled harder.

“Her name is Jay and she just killed my dog. This is taking it one step too far.” I glared between the both of them. Austin put a hand on my shoulder.

“Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but Jay didn’t kill your dog. She’s not some monster.” Jack said firmly. No, she’s not a monster. She’s the devil.

“Jay, get out of our bus. Now. Take the others with you.” I snarled and brushed off Aaron’s kind hand. I ripped away from the boys and went to my bunk, still holding my beloved pet with me. The door to the bunk’s area slammed shut. I locked it and sat in my bed, pulling the black blanket over the both of us. I leaned over his still body, the weak paws splayed out.

“Jakey, you gotta wake up now….please, I need you.” I whispered to him, each word enunciated with a single tear.

“Please, bug. You gotta come back to me…” I broke down, letting sadness roll off my jaw and drip onto his side. A knock came to the door.

“Raven?” Tino’s soft voice called to me. No, I’m not going out there yet. They can’t trick me into getting back into the same room as Jay again.

And Jack, oh Jack…..

The hurt look on his face as I accused Jay. I thought maybe he finally discovered her ruse. No, he was still buying into it like a kid at a candy store.

I buried my face into the scruff of his neck, trying to comprehend what had happened. The dog that had been by my side for eight years, the dog that had come up stage with me, the dog that my mother had begged my father to get…..was now gone.

About twenty minutes later, I finally came out of my bunk, feeling like crap. It was like my soul had been run over by a train, and then the train backed up.

Unlocking the door, I stumbled through the front lounge, wiping the eyes with the back of my hand. I slowly took the steps one at a time and threw open the door into the evening light. As I stepped out, no one said a word and I slammed the exit closed.

From there, I went to a bench at a nearby park and sobbed for everything that I lost.

Notes