The Throw-Aways

True to her word, Kye met us bright and early in the band hall. She had the last period off so while I was testing, she had apparently been out and about. I had just returned from my locker to find Dante and Nico already there. We were just waiting for Skars to show up.

“I came bearing gifts.” Kye told us as she came up to us and sat down. We took our usual seats in the hall for the hour long lunch period. I sat against the back wall of the hallway. Kye sat to the left of me. Skars sat across next to Nico, and Dante sat on the others side of Kk.

“Oh!” Dante cheered and peered around Kk’s shoulder to the box behind her.

“Hold up, Danny.” Kk smiled. We needed to wait for our other friend. Our curiosity was about to get the best of us when Skars came trotting down the hall. Nico got up and kissed her on the cheek as she passed. Skars blushed as bright as her hair. The couple sat close together and stared down Kylar.

“Kk, what’d you bring?” Skars asked sweetly. She took the box from behind her and opened it up. Inside, she took out our gifts. It was five cokes from The Three Meatballs.

“Kylar, did you sneak in the back entrance?” I scolded. She punched me in the shoulder and scowled as I sipped on my drink. Kylar was always doing sweet things for us.

“No! I went and talked to your dad for a little and then HE even suggest to bring back drinks for everyone!” Kye defended. I smiled a little. Dad never gave a second thought about my choice of friends. Normal parents would’ve said, “Don’t hang around the kids with neon hair! They might do drugs!”

As soon as he met them, my dad said, “I like you hair, but I think green would look good on you as well.” He suggested the color to Dante who just grinned. The next time he went and got his hair dyed, there were green streaks in it. He loved the new hair-do.

“Okay, so now to the official orders of business.” Kylar started. Everyone took another sip of the drinks and waited to hear her news. I munched on my sandwich and looked to her. She turned and winked a dark brown eyes at me. Oh no, this couldn’t be good.

“So, as you probably know, our favorite heroes have just finished with some shows in California.” Kye first stated. Nico wrapped an arm around Skar’s shoulder as we halted our little feast for more words. I think I knew where this was going.

“According to the recent interview with AP magazine, the band is looking for a new keyboardist.” Kye turned her head dramatically to look at me.

“So?” Dante asked.

“Who thinks Raven should try out?” At the mere suggestion, the others all raised their hands in agreement. I shook my head.

“No way! I’m really not that good enough to go on stage!” I complained. Nico scowled.

“Oh come one, R! Kye has told me about you playing because you won’t play for us!” Nico argued. It was true. I only had played one little piece for my best friend once.

“I told you not to tell anyone!” I glared at Kk. She smirked.

“Dante was wondering if you played any instruments! I said you played the piano really well! Now you have to play for all of them.” Kylar crossed her arms.

“You do have to play for us, you know.” Dante added. Kye high fived him and I turned away.

“I’m really horrible. I’d just screw up.” I muttered to myself. These were my only friends. What would they think if I screwed the piece? Besides, their stare would just make me more nervous that I already would be!

“No you wouldn’t! R-Girl, you got this!” Skars teased me with my nickname.

“This is your shot to be in OF MICE AND FREAKING MEN!” Kylar cheered with the rest. I stayed silent and munched on the rest of my sandwich before tossing the empty bag in the trashcan. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t audition and I didn’t want a repeat of what had happened two years ago.

I’ve always wanted to make a name for myself. I’ve always wanted to help people out and inspire someone else. I just didn’t want to make a name for myself by being the girl who totally screwed herself over.

I’d never told anyone else besides Kylar what had happened at my mom’s funeral. The others hadn’t been there. Kk was my only friend who really knew the truth-but she always told me to keep chasing my dream and gain the confidence back.

“I’m sorry guys, but I can’t do this. I don’t want to slip up.” I told them.

“Oh come on, R-Girl! You can do this!” Dante encouraged.

“Yeah, R-Girl! Just try!”

“You got it, R!”

“Yeah, you don’t want to screw up like you did two years ago.” A voice sneered from down the hall. Emerging from the main hallway that the band hall was connected to, my worst enemy appeared.

Our little group of five fell silent. I hugged my zipped backpack to my chest, not meeting her eyes. If I ignored her, maybe she would go away.

“Get out, Jay.” Nico stated flatly. No one was up for her games again.

“What’s she talking about?” Skar asked quietly. Jay looked in surprise.

“Oh, so she hasn’t told you?” Jay’s eyebrows raised, as did the corners of her lips form into a smirk of amusement.

“Jay, stop.” I begged. She rolled her blue eyes as my pathetic attempts to halt her. From the four years I had to put up with her, I knew her ploy. She wouldn’t give up.

“I can’t believe she hasn’t told you guys! I thought you were all friends.” Jay gasped in fake shock.

“We don’t care. Just get out.” Kye knew what Jay was talking about, but the popular girl just ignored her threat.

Jay had been the one at the back of the funeral, smirking as I screwed up on my mom’s favorite piece. She was the one that teased me about that ever since. She had figured out pretty quickly that I had only told one other person about this-my best friend.

She was the one to use it against me and humiliate me in front of my only group of people I knew.

“Two years ago, Raven’s mom died. Everyone thought that the dark emo kid was the best piano player so they had her play at the funeral service. Well half way through, she screwed up big time and completely forgot the piece. She ran off crying like a baby. She messed up mommy’s favorite song and shamed herself in front of all her friends.” Jay spat in my face. Dante, Nico, and Skars fell silent.

I could feel the tears prick at my eyes. I didn’t want to give the bully the reaction she was looking for, so I stared at the zipper on my backpack, trying to avoid the rush of memories that would make me break down. No, this wouldn’t be happening again.

“What? Little bird can’t sing? Are you too scared to show everyone how horrible of a musician you are? I don’t know how Mr. P put up with you all these years. Your voice is a horrible, so why do you try?” Jay kept teasing, flipping her hair over her shoulders. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. This wasn’t the time to let out my anger and sorrow. Jay started to walk back down the cafeteria, but paused long enough to put her fists on her hips and stare me down.

“I know why your mother named you Raven! You were a musical disappointment to her! Ravens are just dark, lonely birds that can’t sing like the Jays!” Her voice cackled back to me as I closed my eyes.

It was true. It was all so true. I was just a disappointment to my musical mother. She had been the piano teacher and expert in the family. My mother always told me that I would grow up to make her proud and so she could say, “That’s my daughter! She’s my amazing pianist!”

I proved her wrong at her own funeral, with her own favorite piece.

Everyone in the hall was dead silent. Not a word was uttered or a breath taken. Kye tried to touch my shoulder, but I stood up suddenly and swung my backpack over my shoulders. It seemed impossible to keep myself together.

“I-I’m going to h-head off early.” I tried to collect myself. Before anyone could respond, I took off at a steady walk down the hall, just rounding the corner to find a bathroom.

As soon as I opened the door and saw no one was in there, I started to break down. When I cry, I don’t sob loudly or get all red in the face, I just let the tears stream down my cheeks until they ran out. A minute later, I cleaned myself up and plugged in some headphones, blasting You’re Not Alone by the band that my friends wanted me to join.

Besides, even if I try, there was no guarantee I was ever going to get in.

Exciting the bathroom, I went into my personal cozy nook up by the math department. It was an extra space in the hallways, just a small alcove where I would hang out before math started.

The bell rang and I knew the hallways would fill up soon enough, so I slipped into the math room where my teacher, Mr. Anders was sitting at his desk.

“Ready for the final day of math?” He grinned. Mr. Anders was one of my favorite teachers because he was fun and made math easy to understand and actually enjoyable!

“Of course!” I plastered on a deceivingly simple smile and took my seat. Kk was in my class, but sat a few seats to the left of me. When she entered the room along with the rest of the class, I was grateful she didn’t talk to me about running off. Sometimes, it seemed like Kye was the only one who understood I needed alone time every now and then.

Math flew by quickly. Our test was short and deceptively easy. After the test, we exited the class and I hurried to my very last period. It was woodshop and I always felt at ease in the shop with only four other students. The teach was fun and let us do any project we wanted to. We had a lot of free reign in the room.

Instead of building an entire new project, my last task was to build some things I needed to use for repairs. It was my own little secret mission. Whenever the teacher asked what I was making, I would reply that I was making some things to help repair stuff around the house. He seemed pleased with that answer.

It was sad that today was the last period of this class, but I managed to finish off four piano hammers and put them in a safe pocket in my backpack. As the final bell of the day rang, I felt relieved. I could wander back to my own car, blast the songs I needed to hear, and go work with Dad at the restaurant.

Notes

So, sorry this is a little bit of a long chapter, but Jay's just a jerk >:(

Oh man, we figure out a little bit more about Raven's broken confidence!

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