Another You

i turn on Octane station on Satalight radio. "Hey guys this is Austin Carlile from the popular Metalcore band Of Mice & Men.'' i heard and i turned it up all the way to 60.

''So Austin, are there any new music videos coming out after you release Would You Still Be there?" Kayla asks Austin.

''Yeah there is! We are doing Another You.'' He replies bluntly. 'come on austin tell us more!!' i internally scream.

"what is the story behind that song?" Kalya asks.

i hear Austin take a deep breath and i pull into my parking spot.

''When i was 17, i lost my mother to a heart condition called Marfans Syndrome. It took a huge impact on my life, making me want to take music up as a career. I was at work one day when i got a phone call from my mum and my manager happened to be right behind me when i checked and he said i would get fired if i took the call, considering i was caught before this. Then later about 15 minutes, my grandma called me crying saying something happened to my mum. i was so shaken up and scared that one of the ladies there had to drive me to the hospital. once i climbed out of the car i saw my mum getting out of the ambulance. after a day, i was told she died. So the song is basically my thoughts after.'' he said and i swear i heard him cry.

''Austin, im sorry. no one should have to go through that.'' Kayla responded.

''now on a more lighter note, we need a girl to play the main character in the video. On our website, there is a application and everything you need to know.'' he said and i found myself just crying in the seat of my car.

'why did my mother leave me? what did i do so wrong that made her want to leave? why does bad things always happen to me?' i thought just to myself.

''okay guys im Kayla from Octane.'' kayla said,

''im Austin from Of Mice & Men. have a good night and i love you guys. stay strong.'' he said and i turned my car off.

i grabbed my bag of stuff and my keys and walked into the doors of my complex.i wave at the receptionist, Kit, and walk towards the Elevator. i hit 8 and patiently wait for my floor.

'so ill carry you with me in my dreams my memory,'' i quietly sang to myself and as the contraption stopped and the doors opened, revealing my empty floor, i walk out and go to 22.

i quickly unlock the door and put everything on the counter. i go over to my record player and slide the record 'restoring force' and let it play.

i finally let the tears fall down while clutching my Starbucks, occasionally taking a sip in between sobs.

'' you should be here! You should be holding me right now! You shouldn't have been such a coward and left me for dead with dad! you should fucking be here!!" i screamed while holding my chest. with every intake of a breath and exhale, i feel that tightness, that pain. and honestly, it doesn't need to be gone. it should always be there. to make me feel something other than numbness.

''White walls
Filled with nothing
But nervous paces
All around I see.
Something's off
Inside of myself.
I see it in their faces.

[Chorus:]
Say anything, say anything,
Say anything that can make this all okay.
Take it away, take it away,
Take away all of this emptiness I feel
'Cause I will never find another you.

Another you, another you.

I still hear you in this house (whispering).
I still feel you in my bones (in these veins).
And like the portraits in the halls (can't help but think),
I wish you were staring back at me (but you're gone).

[Chorus]
Say anything, say anything,
Say anything that can make this all okay.
Take it away, take it away.
Take away all of this emptiness I feel
'Cause I will never find another (I may never find myself)
I will never find another you

So I'll carry you with me in my dreams, my memory.
So I'll carry you with me (you'll always be with me) in my dreams, my memory.
So I'll carry you with me, you'll always be my memory.

[Chorus]
Say anything, say anything,
Say anything that can make this all okay.
Take it away, take it away.
Take away all of this emptiness I feel
'Cause I will never find another (I may never find myself)
And I will never find another you''

the song rang and i guess i cried for a while because its track number 6 or something. i slowly slide up off the floor and put all of the fruit and rockstars in the fridge. i didnt leave one out because i am going to go to sleep.

fucking fuck movie night. Judd Nelson can wait another day.

Notes

here ya go guys. so this is how she feels as of right now